A Cereal Mascot Battle Royale

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

For shits and giggles, let's say all of the cereal mascots got in a giant battle royale:

 

Two rules:

 

1) Any character ever, retired, dead or current.

 

2) Straight fighting, UFC style. Special powers or what have you, no dice. Lucky the Leprechaun is the greatest casualty.

 

My pick has always been Tony, with Frankenboo a close second.

 

Thoughts?

[Guest]

I'm taking Count Chocula.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Hrmmmm...I'd certainly say that Cap'n Crunch could stand a good fight, since you don't get to be the captain of a large vessel unless you are either a great warrior (pirates) or very honorable. Age has not done him good, however.

 

I'm going to have to second Tony the Tiger. He's a fucking TIGER. A tiger that can outrun OLYMPIC ATHLETES. A tiger that is BIGGER THAN HULK HOGAN, both in size and in terms of how much capital has been made off of his stuff.

 

So yeah...Tony would rip everybody else to shreds, though I see Cap'n Crunch and MAYBE, just MAYBE, the trio of Snap, Crackle, and Pop coming close.

 

Though, of course, the Rice Krispies Triad would inevitably have to square off against each other after eliminating everybody else, as there can only be one winner...so I'd say Crackle would whip the other two into submission.

[Silence 0]

The Trix rabbit would be the first mascot to get thrown out of the battle royal after those annoying kids with the bowl of Trix cereal distract him from the outside.

[Red Baron 0]

Captain Crunch should win. Has anyone ever eaten a bowl of those things. The cereal itself is razor sharp and can cut your gums.

[Guest Duke_The_Dog]

 

 

*wins*

[krease 0]

Little Mikey on the Life box might surprise you with how quick he is - don't count him out so fast.

I can see Fred Flintstone (hailing from Fruity Pebbles) pulling a Kane and being one of the last ones as well; though I think Tony the Tiger will easily have his number. Man, that Tony is huge.

 

Now then, what about Powdered Toast Man? I know he hasn't been seen in a while, ever since Preemo's Powdered Toast disappeared, but if the promoters pay enough he might show up and no-sell...I mean "toast up" and beat down everyone else!

 

The only one who might be able to stop him is Turbo Man , but Arnold Schwarzenegger is getting pretty old these days, so unless they find someone else to play Turbo Man, he'll be out in no time.

 

Johnny Bravo is a contender, just because he's a hoss though. . The Powerpuff girls can easily take out Snap, Crackle, and Pop; though because they're girls, booking won't take them seriously and they'll probably have to eliminate themselves...

[The Czech Republic 0]

Sugar Bear would play it cool.

[Carnival 0]

Doug Flutie

[Special K 0]

Wow, both of them look so fucking stoned on that Vanilly crunch box.

 

 

Well, if he counts, Link always has a chance. Can't keep the guy down.

 

This thing (from Crispy Critters) has a really good chance, though. I'm pretty sure he's the devil incarnate. You can't really tell from the picture, but he has a hand up that kid's ass, and is using him as a puppet.

[Sideburnious 0]

Would Snap, Crackle and Pop all count as one team? I mean, they are all really small.

 

I'd have to put my money either on Count Chocula (he's undead) or maybe Frankenberry, for the similar reasons, but 8 feet tall.

[razazteca 0]

I pity the fools who eat soggy cereal.

[sfaJack 0]

Tony the Tiger dominates the whole thing until tragedy strikes and he dies from an allergic reaction to being stung in the ass by the Honey Nut Cheerios bee.

[Special K 0]

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

The Trix Rabbit will clean house ala Diesel in the 94 Rumble, using pent up Columbine-esque rage over the lack of Trix.

 

Then, and only then, he'll get distracted by said kids.

[Special K 0]

Don't for get the leprechaun. He's drunk, surly and has magical powers and purple horseshoes.

[Sideburnious 0]

He's ginger though, he doesn't count.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

That...and magical powers don't count. Did you not read the first post?

[Art Sandusky 0]

King Vitamin beats everyone down with his scepter until the Kaboom clown blows everyone else away with his cannon.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

I think the Cheerios Bee would own it until he got swatted, cause you really can't eliminate what can't be thrown to the floor...then again, this is shoot fighting style...

 

 

BooBerry wins, as you can't actually grapple with him, cause he's a ghost.

[The Niggardly King 0]

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Admiral Crunch and Archduke Chocula..lol

 

I thnk I wouldn't want to run into Coco the Monkey, I think theres money in a Coco vs Snap/Crackle/Pop Handicap Match..

 

And Im going to throw a curveball..

 

Fred Flintstone

[Red Baron 0]

Its too bad there's not a Chuck Norris cereal.

[Black Lushus 0]

the CocoPuffs bird...Cuckoo? was that his name? The only thing is, I can see him being so psyched up and enraged while making elimination after elimination that he'd get caught by surprise and tossed out...

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Let's not forget the pimp that is Toucan Sam and those fucking bears from the Grahams cereals, also

 

 

My money's on these two, though

 

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

the CocoPuffs bird...Cuckoo? was that his name? The only thing is, I can see him being so psyched up and enraged while making elimination after elimination that he'd get caught by surprise and tossed out...

 

Sonny was his name.

[Black Lushus 0]

the CocoPuffs bird...Cuckoo? was that his name? The only thing is, I can see him being so psyched up and enraged while making elimination after elimination that he'd get caught by surprise and tossed out...

 

Sonny was his name.

 

Sonny, that's right!

 

Sugar Bear...that dude was pimp...he'd be the type to hang back and eliminate the unsuspecting, such as Sonny in the scenario I laid out. Didn't he later become Honey Bear or something?

 

"Can't get enough o dat honey criiiiiisp"

Edited December 15, 2005 by Black Lushus

[Ted the Poster 0]

Fruit Brute would rip everyone else's throats out.

[Dimensions 0]

 

 

 

 

 

[Vern Gagne 0]

The Freebirds of cereal

 

The Cinnamon Toast Crunch Bakers.