Cocksucking asshole kidnaps penguin

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

LONDON (AP) -- A baby penguin believed to have been snatched from a British zoo as a quirky holiday gift is unlikely to survive until Christmas Day, his keeper warned Tuesday.

 

Toga, a 3-month-old Jackass penguin, was stolen Saturday from Amazon World on the Isle of Wight in southern England.

 

Zoo manager Kath Bright said the bird, who was taken from a compound where he lived with his parents and four other penguins, probably would die of malnutrition if not urgently returned.

 

"Toga is very, very vulnerable. The penguin is still being fed by his parents and we don't believe it could survive more than five days," she told The Associated Press.

 

"The bird has already been missing for around three days and is likely to be severely dehydrated. If he isn't returned before Thursday, he is likely to become so ill that even intensive care treatment won't save him."

 

The brown-and-white penguin will bite if frightened and refuses to be fed by human hand, Bright said. Toga is too young to have yet had a gender confirmed but traditionally is referred to as a male, she added.

 

There was no sign of forced entry to the pen, but a thief would have been able to climb into the compound and carry Toga away, Bright said.

 

"We can't understand what may have been going through the thief's head, but we are worried someone decided a penguin would make the perfect Christmas gift," she added. "There has been a lot of attention because of the film 'March of the Penguins.' Perhaps someone saw the film and thought their wife or girlfriend would be thrilled to have one as a present."

 

The French movie was a box-office hit and has been credited with drawing tourists to penguin-spotting sites across the world.

 

http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/12/20...ain.penguin.ap/

 

No matter what happens, this cuntflap better serve some hard fucking time.

 

[LucharesuFan619 0]

Ummm...What is the difference between a penguin and a Jackass penguin?

[JJ Johnson 0]

Ummm...What is the difference between a penguin and a Jackass penguin?

 

The brown-and-white penguin

 

 

That being said, fuck that guy. Although I am curious as to why they had a penguin on display at a place called "Amazon World".

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

Because that species of penguin can be found near the equator.

[Failed Bridge 0]

if it can be found near the equator then it should be called a "Dumbass Penguin".

[Ced 0]

I'm curious about the mindset that resulted in the decision of calling it a Jackass penguin.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Seriously, what a prick.

[2GOLD 0]

I'm curious about the mindset that resulted in the decision of calling it a Jackass penguin.

 

It likes to trip the other penguins and push them into polar bears. Plus it demanded 10 million plus 20% of the gross to appear in "March of the Penguins". So Morgan Freeman adjusted his glasses and after the penguin left said, "What a jackass"

 

We always listen to Morgan Freeman.

Edited December 23, 2005 by 2GOLD

[Failed Bridge 0]

That wasn't funny at all

[NYU 0]

I don't know. Off the top of my head, I could probably name at least a thousand other people that deserve to be called a "cocksucking asshole" and a "cuntflap" more than this guy.

 

Not condoning what he did at all, but come on.

[Special K 0]

Wow. what an event that is current. Let's debate!

[Failed Bridge 0]

Everybody who's against kidnapping penguins go stand on the left, everybody who is for kidnapping penguins on the right, and everybody who is indifferent to kidnapping penguins...well you've got alot of nerve coming into this thread!

[Special K 0]

My cat is very cute. Debate!

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

I don't know. Off the top of my head, I could probably name at least a thousand other people that deserve to be called a "cocksucking asshole" and a "cuntflap" more than this guy.

 

Not condoning what he did at all, but come on.

 

I honestly can't. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm really pissed off about this. Seriously.

 

Who cares about some greedy politicians when a baby penguin is being starved to death? Not me, that's for sure.

[Vyce 0]

This guy's an asshole, but I don't think he should be serving 'hard time'. It's a fucking penguin.

[Ted the Poster 0]

But what if it was a panda, Vyce? You'd be damn pissed, ya fairy.

[JJ Johnson 0]

if it can be found near the equator then it should be called a "Dumbass Penguin".

 

 

For the last time, nobody's going to name an animal after you.

 

 

This guy's an asshole, but I don't think he should be serving 'hard time'. It's a fucking penguin.

 

 

It may be a 'fucking penguin', but a penguin is an animal. By starving it to death, he's violating animal abuse laws, and by violating animal abuse laws, he most certainly should be serving 'hard time'. There is no clause that says '...unless it's a penguin.'

[NYU 0]

if it can be found near the equator then it should be called a "Dumbass Penguin".

 

 

For the last time, nobody's going to name an animal after you.

 

lolz

 

But then what would you call it? Frigid Penguin? Failed Penguin? Penguin Mascot? Penguin Soul?

 

I'm confused.

[JJ Johnson 0]

if it can be found near the equator then it should be called a "Dumbass Penguin".

 

 

For the last time, nobody's going to name an animal after you.

 

lolz

 

But then what would you call it? Frigid Penguin? Failed Penguin? Penguin Mascot? Penguin Soul?

 

I'm confused.

 

 

Penguin Soul. The other three are taken by emperor penguins, kiwi birds, and Youngstown State respectively.

[cbacon 0]

I don't know. Off the top of my head, I could probably name at least a thousand other people that deserve to be called a "cocksucking asshole" and a "cuntflap" more than this guy.

 

Not condoning what he did at all, but come on.

 

I honestly can't. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm really pissed off about this. Seriously.

 

Who cares about some greedy politicians when a baby penguin is being starved to death? Not me, that's for sure.

 

How about politicans that oversee the process of starving inmates and other acts that would be considered human rights violations?

[The Czech Republic 0]

I think I speak for everyone when I say "shut up, C-Bacon."

 

This is a Big Deal because penguins are the shit. Who doesn't love a penguin. Penguins > prisoners.

[Kahran Ramsus 0]

I'm curious about the mindset that resulted in the decision of calling it a Jackass penguin.

 

Because it sounds like a donkey.

[cbacon 0]

I think I speak for everyone when I say "shut up, C-Bacon."

 

This is a Big Deal because penguins are the shit. Who doesn't love a penguin. Penguins > prisoners.

 

 

[Cowboy Battlenuts 0]

Death penalty, at least.

[Slayer 0]

Wow. what an event that is current. Let's debate!

Thanks, Special Tom!

[Vyce 0]

But what if it was a panda, Vyce? You'd be damn pissed, ya fairy.

 

Though gentle creatures, pandas are brave and valiant beings when the situation calls for it. In other words: any fool trying to snatch a panda would get their ass mauled.

 

Unless they maybe pandanapped a cub, like little Tai Shan. And that would just be evil.

 

 

Death to whomever would abduct lil' Tai Shan.

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

But then they would be torn into little tiny pieces by Mei Xiong, as they should be.