Let's Create Terrible Gimmicks for WWE!

[Phoenix Fury Legdrop 0]

Often times, Interweb dorks will do their wacky fantasy booking, most of the times isn't nearly as bad as what we see on TV. Of course, WWE creative never seems to actually use any of these. So, I suggest we change the course of history somewhat and give them terrible ideas that they'll refuse to steal. I'll start...

 

One fateful day, the Boogeyman is creating water cooler terror, as he is ought to do. The juniors scramble for a safe place, Josh Matthews throws his index cards of cute Tim White one-liners in the air, etcetera. The only two men who don't notice this mayhem are Brian Kendrick & Paul London.

 

You see, WWE has yet to explain what the hell Kendrick & London are now, with the shiny gear and silly masks. In this skit, Kendrick & London ignore the Boogeyman's mystical powers and perform the ancient art of mime. This intrigues the Boogeyman, as he grew up without knowing of this sensation, as he lived in a cave off the shores of Nebraska (work with me, here). He starts to spout one of his fancy nursery rhymes, and Kendrick & London mime it out. This makes the Boogeyman dance and giggle like a schoolgirl. He sucks them down to the underworld with him.

 

Kendrick & London then become the Boogeyman's personal army of mimes, delivering messages to the Boogeyman's lesser enemies and victims of the pain and suffering that is to happen to them. At first, these evil, evil men don't take heed of their messages and laugh at the goofiness. But eventually, it is to be known that once Kendrick & London come with their merry performances of abuse and punishment, you scamper in fear. The Boogeyman will always rise up behind his mime minions after their messages to hit the message home.

 

When the Boogeyman becomes a heel, they can also assist in his dastardly acts of evil. They have the power to tie their enemies in imaginary rope, build invisible boxes around the men to trap them from showing up for matches, and even shoot non-existant cannonballs into their stomach, crushing their ribs and causing internal bleeding.

 

To recap: The Boogeyman needs an army of mimes. Brian Kendrick & Paul London are his men. Silliness ensues.

 

Anyone else want to try?

[Matt Young 0]

I'll have to think something up, but I think I would actually love that gimmick.

[Hoff 0]

Team up Shelton Benjamin and Funaki. Have them fight crime, only Shelton runs his mouth and then keeps messing up, and Funaki has to save him.

[Silence 0]

Ken Doane and Johnny Jeter as part of the Spirit Squad instead of WWE allowing them to use their OVW heel characters....oh wait, that actually happened.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

I think they have this area covered fine.

[Just John 0]

I think Mark Henry should re-invent himself as "Smark" Henry. His gimmick would involve judging other people's workrate and criticizing them over bad matches, spots, etc. Then someone... I don't know, JBL we'll say, gets pissed off when Smark Henry gives one of his matches *1/2. JBL tells Smark Henry that he could never put on ***** match and sucks at everything related to wrestling. Then they feud over whether or not Henry can have a ***** match. During the match, JBL purposely begins to stall, botch moves, etc, and the announcers get worked up about how JBL is sabotaging Henry's dream of putting on a ***** match.

 

I'm not exactly sure how'd you wrap that angle up, but it's a good start.

[Hoff 0]

Okay, that's awesome.

[Guest Dr Stupid]

To recap: The Boogeyman needs an army of mimes. Brian Kendrick & Paul London are his men. Silliness ensues.

 

Anyone else want to try?

 

For when the mime gets old...

 

"I could tell you....through INTERPRETIVE DANCE"

 

Plus, London and Kendrick fly around like magic little pixies, with such moves as the "450 pixie splash" and the "shooting star of pixie dust"

 

Then one of the Divas can enslave them into her power, and Boogeyman has to rescue them from the Wicked Witch of the West

[Guest Dr Stupid]

Here's one

 

a Wrestling Union Rep.

 

He can protest against the unfair conditions and try to rally all the workers to strike. Then he can be slowly corrupted by power and money, and forget the real reason why he joined the union in the first place, finally being bought out by corporate money.

[Guest Dr Stupid]

What about a "Yakov Smirnov" character.

 

HHH: "You better be ready to play The Game"

 

Yakov: "In Soviet Russia, Game plays You!"

[Guest Dillon Likes Bossman]

ALright, I've been waiting for a thread like this:

 

Mark Henry beats some mid-card heel on Smackdown! and tells the crowd that hes sorry he hasn't been listening to them all along. Henry tells the crowd he will make up for wasted time and win the hearts of fans everywhere. The crowd lovingly accepts him becuase of his overwhelming honesty. Henry can really work the mic, ya gotta give him a little freedom here to connect with the fans on visceral level.

 

Next week the Henry is having a "Fan Appreaction Celebration" in the middle of the ring. The ring is full of food and fans are being led into the ring and having a chance to "fix a plate withe ol' Mark Henry". During this eating session however, the lights go out. Multicolor spotlights start swirling all thorught the arena and the ring clears of fans leaving Hnery alone to face what will come. Two juniors (on harnesses) swing from the ceiling with microphones on their hands. The words "Lust" "Greed" "Money" "Power" "Corruption" "Sin" "Sloth" appear on the titantron. The Floating Juniors tell Henry that his repentance has come too late. He Starts to scream "Stop it! Leave me be! What ore can I give!" Then The juniors reply "Your LIFE, MARK! HAHAHAHA!" then a thousand, literally a thousand juniors swarm the ring. Henry demolishes the first 10 or so that hit the ring but they being to latch onto his arms and legs. Finally Henry is overcome by Juniors in a literal feeding frenzy. Lights flash again and all thats left in the ring is Henry's skeleton, picked dry to the bone....

 

I gotta go smoke with some females but I'll be back to finish this shit tonite.

[Guest OKCoyote]

"Mark Henry lost overness from this segment."

[Jericho2000Mark 0]

"Mark Henry debuted his new gimmick, it got a negative response"

[Lord of The Curry 0]

This is some amateur shit right here. None of it even has Funaki as a scientist from the future.

[Guest Dam(o)nYankees]

What about a "Yakov Smirnov" character.

 

HHH: "You better be ready to play The Game"

 

Yakov: "In Soviet Russia, Game plays You!"

Chris Jericho wanders by

 

Jericho: Soviet Russia my ass.

[Guest Dam(o)nYankees]

I think Mark Henry should re-invent himself as "Smark" Henry. His gimmick would involve judging other people's workrate and criticizing them over bad matches, spots, etc. Then someone... I don't know, JBL we'll say, gets pissed off when Smark Henry gives one of his matches *1/2. JBL tells Smark Henry that he could never put on ***** match and sucks at everything related to wrestling. Then they feud over whether or not Henry can have a ***** match. During the match, JBL purposely begins to stall, botch moves, etc, and the announcers get worked up about how JBL is sabotaging Henry's dream of putting on a ***** match.

 

I'm not exactly sure how'd you wrap that angle up, but it's a good start.

I still like the gimmick that was proposed in F4W after the Orton/Orlando match. Chris Benoit comes out after every bad wrestling match and beats the shit out of the offenders.

[mfn 0]

What about a "Yakov Smirnov" character.

 

HHH: "You better be ready to play The Game"

 

Yakov: "In Soviet Russia, Game plays You!"

 

fucking genius.

[jester 0]

Let's Create Terrible Gimmicks for WWE?

 

I don't think they need our help, but I'll play.

 

Triple H: Heel restaurant critic. Every day he comes out and insults a city's cuisine. For thirty minutes.

 

Mark Henry: Triple R--Red Rooster Redux!

 

Hulk Hogan: Miss America!

 

Simon Dean: Abandons Simon System, embraces Marlborough System. Encourages children to smoke.

 

Capitalizing on the success of Brokeback Mountain: Undertaker and Bradshaw--Gay Cowboy Wrestlers. Eating pudding.

[Silence 0]

Triple H: Heel restaurant critic. Every day he comes out and insults a city's cuisine. For thirty minutes.

 

HHH:"This steak-uhhhh is just like Chris Jericho-uhhhh: It's a cut below me in the ring-uhhhh! Jericho is medium rare-uhhhh, and I am WELL DONE-uhhhh!"

[The Czech Republic 0]

Paging Rudo-Curry Enterprises

[Kardo 0]

Rudo-Curry still need to finish this off

[Jericho2000Mark 0]

Linda McMahon: Babyface Naturist

 

CM Punk- Vince McMahon's dream gimmick...The homosexual, incest, necrophile, cannibal pedophile! He begins a fued with "storyline" brother Spanky, cultimating in a loser gets "raped, killed, raped again and eaten" match.

 

Shawn Michaels: MMA fighter.

 

Rey Mysterio: Cancer patient. A bald scalp is painted onto the top part of his mask.

 

Tatanka-Young Indian man Tatanka is a nerd in his reservation, wearing oversize glasses and telling everyone stories no-one wants to hear. His parents died in a fire in 1976, and Tatanka was saved by Arnold. Arnold soon left his family (and his tough son Funaki), and Funaki hasn't seen his father for 10 years. When Funaki hears Arnold has died, Tatanka offers him funding for the trip to get Arnold's remains, but only if Tatanka will also go with him. Tatanka and Funaki hit the road.

[Masked Man of Mystery 0]

Here's one

 

a Wrestling Union Rep.

 

He can protest against the unfair conditions and try to rally all the workers to strike. Then he can be slowly corrupted by power and money, and forget the real reason why he joined the union in the first place, finally being bought out by corporate money.

Wasn't there already the Union that was fighting the Corporation until Vince was "corrupted" and became the higher power?

[Lord of The Curry 0]

We had a really intricate storyline where Rey gets all CSI on everybody, starting an investigation into Eddy's death. But it was more clever then terrible so it'd be out of place here.

[Gary Floyd 0]

Goldust as a goatfucker. Fake goat sperm will fall instead of glittering gold.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

I mentioned my idea for Mark Henry, Midget Killer in the SD thread.

[Boon 0]

OMG SPOILERZ TAGZ PLZ!

[SuperJerk 0]

This thread reminds me of the MST3K host segment during "Manos" where Joel and the bots tried to come up with shitty monsters who'd be more convincing than Torgo.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

 

 

 

 

To recap: The Boogeyman needs an army of mimes. Brian Kendrick & Paul London are his men. Silliness ensues.

 

Anyone else want to try?

 

For when the mime gets old...

 

"I could tell you....through INTERPRETIVE DANCE"

 

Plus, London and Kendrick fly around like magic little pixies, with such moves as the "450 pixie splash" and the "shooting star of pixie dust"

 

Then one of the Divas can enslave them into her power, and Boogeyman has to rescue them from the Wicked Witch of the West

 

London can do "The Shooting Star" and Kendrick can do one from the adjacent turnbuckle called "The Second Shooting Star To The Right"

[SuperJerk 0]

I can't beleive Rando of all people no-sold my above post.

 

BUT I SAID "MANOS"!!!!!!!!!!!!