The Commentator Issue

[Longdogger_Pete 0]

If I lose my match at From the Fire, I will be out of a job. If I win, I plan on returning to the active roster.

 

Either way, that leaves one vacant commentator's position open.

 

There has been talk of an SWF viewer's poll to take place at AftershoX to decide on who gets the position. If this translates into an actual poll for the board members (probably not), here are ten potential choices for your consideration. (Note that not all of these characters may be available for storyline reasons; I'm not familiar with how everyone left the fed.)

 

Cyclone Comet - The front runner, and some would say, only serious choice, as some have been clamoring to replace LDP with Comet for some time now.

 

Axis - The return of the big Australian would be a big boost to the fed, as well as continue to make Crusen feel important around here.

 

Edwin MacPhisto - My personal favorite, the Crown Prince of Flash and Panache adds an offbeat personality to any broadcast.

 

Frost - He is untested as an announcer, but Robert Frost's inclusion would actually tie in somewhat with fed-wide storyline.

 

Annie Eclectic - We've never had a woman commentator, and Annie's attitude and exuberance would certainly liven up each match.

 

Ted Polak - No, not Thoth of Clan fame, but Ted Polak himself. I'd love to see a non-kayfabe player call some of these matches, though the heel/heel pairing with King would be unusual.

 

Madrac - If for no other reason than to get Thoth to stop talking about how great he was.

 

Bobby Riley - I don't think anyone's seriously considering Riley. I'm just throwing the name out there for completeness.

 

Ben Hardy - Yeah right. Ben Hardy is off his rocker to believe he has a chance at this, but I'm sure he'd put his name in anyway.

 

Matt "Marv Albert" Myers - No explanation necessary.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

Do I want to see Matt Myers? "YESSSSSSS!"

[chirs3 0]

There has been talk of an SWF viewer's poll to take place at AftershoX to decide on who gets the position. If this translates into an actual poll for the board members (probably not), here are ten potential choices for your consideration. (Note that not all of these characters may be available for storyline reasons; I'm not familiar with how everyone left the fed.)

 

Probably not? Think again, bucko.

 

The Aftershoxxxxx poll will be an actual poll. I'm not real comfortable with CC just picking someone, because you guys are the ones who will have to write him/her week in and week out - better to let you choose.

 

Also, an addition to your list that Judge suggested, and I think might work - CIA.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

I enjoyed writing Axis and King in the JL, so I'm all for that.

[Toxxic 0]

I've said before that with us calling the action through our own description, all the commentators need to do are provide some insights and generally be characters, which is what the team of Comet and Riley were so great at. I still think Comet works well, and teaming him up with King could be as good as Riley.

 

Axis - I know nothing about Axis.

 

Edwin - given the nature of his last couple of appearances and previous departure, I'm not sure how well a reappearance as commentator would work. HOWEVER, a team of Edwin and King would be... absolutely awesome.

 

Frost - I don't want every match to include plugs for his merchandise, which is what it'd have to be.

 

Annie - I could see this working, y'know?

 

Ted Polack - what the fuck?

 

Madrac - no idea.

 

Riley - he was a heel last time he was on commentary. As part of a three-man team he could work, but not him and King together.

 

Hardy and Myers - fuck off.

[Toxxic 0]

Hey, if you're talking about CIA, what about Mak?

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

My anti-picks, aka choices I'm against:

 

1. Myers - got to have some warm bodies to beat up

 

2. Riley - I don't see a heel/heel tandem working well. "That jerk sucks!" "He super sucks!" Contrast is key

 

3. Madrac - see Riley. Heel/heel = bad.

 

 

 

Now, on to the other people:

 

1. Comet is a good pick, however, nobody is allowed to write him as saying 'citizens'. I will stab your face if you do.

 

2. Axis is a good one, too, and he could really help King go over the top in heelishness. With Cykes, they both can't be too extreme and stuff.

 

3. Edwin is kinda like Comet. He's over the top, which is nifty. However, he might have exploded storyline wise last time he was around.

 

4. Frost could work, maybe. As I've already said, he'd have to be a face, and Frost as a face is kind of like Axis: A little vanilla, but good for grounding peoples.

 

5. Annie could work. She has experience from the JL trio with Ejiro and Judge.

 

6. Ted Polack is an...interesting...idea. It'd be odd, though, to explain it, I think. "Hey, here's this guy with weird hair, and he won a prize where he gets to work with the SWF."

 

7. Ben Hardy is good, too. And, if he becomes the commentator, how about Nervous Sheep becoming the backstage interviewer? No? Fine...Exploding Chicken? Extreme Hound? Xtreme (He could hang out with Funyon. F/X represent!)? Mr. Galatea, then. He's awesome.

[Toxxic 0]

Drea, Comet may not have said 'Citizens' when he was active, but was Riley a flaming homosexual with a massive crush on Flesher? Some things just develop.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

About that:

 

1. It started as an in-joke type thing. He was depicted as gay back when Galatea was still active.

 

2. Let's try not to rip off from the WWE as much as possible.

 

Oh, and as for not knowing shit about anyone old school-ish, I (Or someone) could write up some descriptions of that character's general mannerisms and such.

 

Also: Bring back Curry Man and NTD!

[chirs3 0]

I think NTD has pretty much run his course as a commentator.

 

Unless you have a bunch of never before seen pantless jokes you're ready to break out.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

But, many people forget that along with the no-pants thing, he was a poet, and he honestly seemed to know wrestlefications. He could hype the cruisers (I mean, he did have that cruiser tournament after all) and other things.

[Golgo 13 0]

Comet or Polack. There's a lot of fresh material there with Ted. The way I would play it off is that he was host of the weekly internet radio show and was promoted. Simple.

 

While Edwin/King would indeed be awesome, the circumstances surrounding his leaving aren't conducive to coming back for a lowly announcer position.

 

Frost. Maybe.

 

Never did like writing Annie or Axis. I'm awful at commentary either way, but Axis in the JL was bland and boring for myself and a lot others, though it didn't help that us newbies were coming in cold with no idea how to write him beyond 'face announcer.'

 

No to Madrac, Riley, Myers, Hardy, just because I don't ever want to see Hardy getting promoted or leaving the backstage.

[The Ill One 0]

I always liked the Axis/King commentary team but then again I loved writing when there were trios. Axis was a little bland to write but that's one thing that makes writing that commentary so easy- it's mostly babyface announcer.

 

Edit: Actually, Comet/King isn't so bad either.

[chirs3 0]

Polack is an interesting idea, playing up the host of an SWF radio program who got promoted...

[Ace309 0]

Michael Craven as Ash Ketchum.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Never did like writing Annie or Axis. I'm awful at commentary either way, but Axis in the JL was bland and boring for myself and a lot others, though it didn't help that us newbies were coming in cold with no idea how to write him beyond 'face announcer.'

I have to admit that I have a different frame of mind on this issue. In fact, I always found it easier to write a commentator when I'm not trying to make them fit into some kind of "personality," and just write them in whatever manner I think will help my match get over better...

 

I've always found knowing something about the character's personality to be a handicap, since I then feel compelled to try and be "true" to that character... which I completely suck at; the only character besides WC that I was ever really able to write effectively is Ejiro, and I was bumped way before he became a JL commentator, so I didn't even have the opportunity to do so in a match. Hell, a big part of why I never promo is because I suck so bad at capturing other characters' personalities... so I usually don't bother.

 

I am reminded of a comment that I believe has, at various points in time, been attributed to both King and Flesher: "the ladder is exactly as long, the cage is exactly as high, the ring is exactly as wide as it needs to be for your spot to work," or something to that effect. I think that it might be good advice to apply that principle to the commentary team, too: The commentator should just as animated, just as subdued, just as biased, just as balanced, just as comical, just as serious as he/she needs to be to put your match over.

 

At least, that's what I try to live by...

 

 

- Dub Cee

[Longdogger_Pete 0]

For the record, the last four names I gave were not there for serious consideration - I was trying to put a little humor into the post.

 

Also I agree that I don't think Edwin would be available for announcer duty due to storyline, but I listed him as he's my favorite.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

You guys are more than welcome to use Edwin if you want. I think the last thing I did (look at how great my memory is!) was come back at Genesis V for the Landon/Grand Slam/Edwin vs. King/Raynor/Flesher 6-man tag, which was definitely a "SPECIAL WRESTLEMANIA APPEARANCE!" type thing, and came after the whole Kibagami grudge match story. I kind of like having the character completely done and drydocked, but if you want a face commentator, he's all yours. Though I wonder how many people who are around now would really be jazzed by King/Edwin on commentary.

 

I also agree with WC, in that no one should really be too beholden to anything more than the most basic traits of a character (Edwin's British! Axis was the IC champ! King's a smarmy heel!) for their commentary purposes. The match is the thing. Still, you're welcome to use Edwin if you want that character there, and feel free to embarrass him at every turn if so necessary.

[Toxxic 0]

Actually, Edwin's last two appearances in the SWF were backstage as a hotdog vendor at Ground Zero '05, and then appearing as guest commentator for Blazenwing vs Blazenwing at Ramadomination.

 

...screw it. Edwin and King for commentary.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

I forgot about being a hot dog vendor! That was awesome. Thanks for that.

[Toxxic 0]

I seemed to remember you desiring to have Edwin selling sausages and mash backstage, so I tweaked it a bit and had you as Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler. Because let's face it, Edwin is the only character that would work for

[King Cucaracha 0]

Annie, Annie, Annie.

 

Judge/Ejiro/Annie was such a great trio.

[Bruce Blank 0]

Well if I had any idea how to write any of them I'd be able to vote - but I got nufin' here.

[Toxxic 0]

I'm sure whoever makes the poll will give a quick rundown of them for the newbies. Hell, besides Comet on commentary the only one out of that lot that was active since I've been here was Annie, and she was hardly the promo queen.

[Golgo 13 0]

Never did like writing Annie or Axis. I'm awful at commentary either way, but Axis in the JL was bland and boring for myself and a lot others, though it didn't help that us newbies were coming in cold with no idea how to write him beyond 'face announcer.'

I have to admit that I have a different frame of mind on this issue. In fact, I always found it easier to write a commentator when I'm not trying to make them fit into some kind of "personality," and just write them in whatever manner I think will help my match get over better...

 

I've always found knowing something about the character's personality to be a handicap, since I then feel compelled to try and be "true" to that character... which I completely suck at; the only character besides WC that I was ever really able to write effectively is Ejiro, and I was bumped way before he became a JL commentator, so I didn't even have the opportunity to do so in a match. Hell, a big part of why I never promo is because I suck so bad at capturing other characters' personalities... so I usually don't bother.

 

I am reminded of a comment that I believe has, at various points in time, been attributed to both King and Flesher: "the ladder is exactly as long, the cage is exactly as high, the ring is exactly as wide as it needs to be for your spot to work," or something to that effect. I think that it might be good advice to apply that principle to the commentary team, too: The commentator should just as animated, just as subdued, just as biased, just as balanced, just as comical, just as serious as he/she needs to be to put your match over.

 

At least, that's what I try to live by...

 

 

- Dub Cee

 

 

Well, I'm not suggesting he or any character had to abide by a certain profile or stereotype all the time, or that every character has to be lively and colorful. The guy just had zero personality characteristics to play off of and serve as a jumping point beyond being big and Australian, as far as I knew. He barely qualified for basic traits. I think there has to be something else already there in order to write someone.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Perhaps; I was just saying that, when all you have to go by is "bland face," you have the freedom to write him however you want to. When I was in the JL, I wrote Axis on commentary as a cross between Joey Styles and Vince McMahon, and I can't recall that anybody thought of that portrayal as being so terrible.

[muzz 0]

If you read an Axis match, you could get a pretty good idea for the character. Plus his early EARLY promo's of being a shameless shill for Pepsi Max were great.

 

Basically, I'd write him as the guy behind the character I know in real life, sarcastic, dark/lame sense of humour, but ultimetely knowledgable and defnitely knows his thing.

[Toxxic 0]

Has Axis even been active on these boards? I thought the character disappeared way back in the IGNWF?

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Didn't crusen write Axis?

 

If so, I'd say that the answer would be, define "active."

[muzz 0]

He officially retired back on the IGNWF boards, I believe, but came back in an SWF PPV where Sacred broke his leg, or really really hurt it... a lot.