chirs3 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 (edited) "We're here!" the bus driver shouts. The time-honored tradition of everyone rushing off the bus as fast as they can to claim "the good" locker rooms has, thanks to the Fictional World Tour, become a new tradition of everyone groaning and muttering while wondering "Where the hell are we this time?" "We're not in Middle Earth, are we?" asks Bruce Blank. Heads swivel. "You can -- " "Saw the movies," Blank says. "God, I hope we're not in the Looney Tunes universe," groans Landon Maddix. "All them midgets gettin' killed." Despite Blank's drifting away into bliss, these are clearly not happy campers. Especially not Joseph Peters. He should be thrilled, since this is the last show scheduled for the Fictional World Tour. Unfortunately, he has no plan per se for getting back to the real world. The SWF wrestlers and crew all shuffle off the bus and look into the distance, to see what godawful place they'll be competing in next. ... wait... ... can this be right? Could it be? "Is that... what I think it is?" The Quicken Loans arena. The Q. "The Q... It's... It's the Q!" Peters shouts, actually jumping up and down with excitement. "It's The Q! An honest to God Sports Arena! The Fictional World Tour - it's... IT'S OVER!" The entire crowd erupts into cheers, then charges the arena (luggage? who needs it?), with Peters in the lead! Just as they reach the doors, they fly open, and a very sorry looking man steps out. "Mr. Peters! Mr. Peters, I'm very sorry about all this, this double booking. I don't know how it --" "Never mind that!" Joe says, with an uncharacteristically genuine smile. "I'm just so glad to be back in the real world... you have no idea." "What?" "What?" asks the intern. "Um..." "Never mind! Let all of us get settled in, then we can sort this whole thing out!" -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- A Little While Later -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- *knock knock* "Come in!" The door to Joseph Peters' office swings open, and The Superior One Tom Flesher pokes his head in the door. Flesher's beard is shorn, and he seems to have taken the return to the real world as cause for celebration, as he actually appears to be wearing a tie. "Oh, I'm sorry," he says, starting to close the door again. "I thought they said this was the Comissioner's office." "Oh, very funny," Peters says, rolling his eyes. "Seriously, what do you want?" "Well, I was looking for the Commissioner." Peters glowers. "We were supposed to go hand out Truth pamphlets at the front gates... but I guess he's not here." "Uh huh, whatever. Listen Tom, I-" ... The color begins to drain from Joe's face. "Did... did you just say you're going to hand out Truth pamphlets?" "Yeah. People aren't gonna quit smoking by themselves, after all!" Flesher reaches into his front topic and pulls out a tin of mints. ... "Altoid?" Peters looks warily at Flesher. "Tom... how much did you have to drink on the bus?" Tom raises an eyebrow. "I don't drink, sir. Not anymore. You can call Nathaniel K. and ask if you want. He's my sponsor." A brief moment of silence, before Peters literally falls out of his chair howling with laughter! It's a good thirty seconds before he can pick himself up again, and all the while Tom stands in his doorway, looking terribly unamused. "Oh, that's a good one, Tom. That was classic." "I don't know who you are. You could be the guy who played Snow Demon for all I know. But seriously, if you see the Commish, could you tell him where I am?" *SLAM* -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- A Little While Later -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- *knock knock* "Come in!" The door to Peters' office swings open, and Tom Flesher strolls in, a cigarette in one hand and a Guinness in the other. He flops down in a chair and kicks his feet up on Peters' desk. His five-o'clock shadow is once again evident. "So," Joseph says, "how'd the leafletting go?" "The what?" "The Truth Pamphlets." "... what the hell are you talking about, Peters?" "I thought you..." *knock knock knock* "Come in!" The door opens, and the man who first greeted Peters at the door steps in. "I'm really very sorry to bother you, sir, but we have to work out this scheduling conflict." "Yes, of course. Tom, do you mind?" Tom, in the middle of drinking, shakes his head and remains firmly seated. He waves the cigarette at the intern, who grimaces. Flesher obligingly stubs the Camel out. "So, who are we sharing The Q with?" "Well, it's actually The Gund, sir," the man says, clearly annoyed. "Yes, of course it is," Joe replies with a good natured grin. "Seriously though, what's the problem?" "Well, it seems July 30th is actually the night that the biggest wrestling federation in North America is scheduled to have their next Pay Per View, and they booked this arena months ago." "Yeah... and?" "Well, we promised them the arena a long time ago, so I'm afraid your show is going to have to be postponed." Peters looks at Flesher. "... Ok, very funny, Tom. How much did you pay him?" Flesher, again in mid-drink, shakes his head and shrugs. "Seriously, nice gag, but if you don't mind, I really do need to get some work done." "This isn't a joke, sir. The IGNWF's July Pay Per View is to be hosted here on July 30th, and- "WHAT?!" "The IGNWF. The IGN Wrestling Federation. Surely you've heard of them. Their July Pay Per View, Ground Zero, is scheduled to be here on the 30th. Now if you want, we can push your little indy show up to the night before, or the night of, but-" "... ok, seriously, this isn't funny anymore. Get out of my office." "But si-" "OUT!" The man scurries away, but before the door shuts behind him, another hands pokes catches it and pushes it in. "Excuse me, I'm looking for Tom Flesher," the man says, as his head pokes through the door. Peters looks up- "AGH!" - and turns white. Tom, again mid-drink, turns to see who it is. "Ah, Tom," the man says, stepping inside- he stops... "Tom, are you DRINKING?!" Tom finishes his sip. "Wrong Tom," he says. "You want the one out there." He checks his pocket. "By the way, you got a light?" The visitor shakes his head, then says, "Oh, thanks. I got here late, and we need to get ready for our Yoga class. You guys want to join us?" Tom shakes his head. Joseph is frozen solid. "Ah well. Thanks again." "No prob, Stubby." Tom tips his glass to the man, then kicks the door shut behind him. Peters, meanwhile, has been reduced to a quivering mass. "... Stubby?" "Mmmhmm." "Former SWF Commissioner Stubby Potts McWeed?" "Yep." ... "Oh God," Peters says, the sad truth beginning to sink in... "...it's not over, is it?" "Nope." "We're still on the Fictional World Tour, aren't we?" "Yep." "And now we're stuck in Bizarro World, where everyone has an evil twin-" Now it's Tom's turn to howl with laughter (while still balancing his drink perfectly), and Peters can do nothing but wait and look terribly confused. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life, Joe," Flesher says, finally killing his Guinness. "Evil twins... ha!" Clinging to a false hope, Peters begins to ask... "You mean... it's not the Fict-" "We just crash landed into a parallel timeline, that's all. An alternate universe, created at the exact moment at which the IGNWF collapsed. We live in the universe in which the IGNWF went under and reformed as the SWF, but in this timeline, the IGNWF never folded, and has been alive and kicking all these years. And now both federations have Ground Zero booked here." "I... I'm so confused..." Tom shrugs. The door suddenly swings open, and none other than Michael Stephens himself walks in, an unfiltered Lucky Strike hanging from his lip. "Look, Stubby, I-..." Tom shrugs. Peters begins to cry. "What's wrong with him?" Stephens asks, motioning towards Joe. "No clue," replies Flesher, pulling another Guinness out of his bag. "Drink?" "Don't mind if I do." -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents... SWF GROUND ZERO! Live, Sunday, July 30th, ALONG WITH IGNWF GROUND ZERO, IN THE GUND ARENA IN AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE! (6pm PST, 10pm EST; check local listings) (Send all promos/marked matches to chirs3) PAY PER VIEW THEME SONG: WAR PIGS! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- THE MAIN EVENT - SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Michael Stephens © vs. JJ Johnson --> Long ago, these two men were in a stable together. A month ago, JJ had some very strong words for the World Champion. Fighting champion that he is, Stephens took offense, and while he didn't want to give JJ a shot, Joe Peters did. One elbow later, and there's baaaad blood between these two. JJ Johnson fights to prove Michael Stephens, and the world, wrong, but has he got what it takes? Rules: Standard singles match. Send to: Ace309 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - LADDER MATCH Michael Cross © vs. Zyon --> Zyon doesn't like Cross, because some would say Cross screwed him out of his Cruiserweight Title at 13th Hour by taking Akira's place after some serious ass-kicking. Cross doesn't like Zyon because Zyon's bitching is technically unfounded, and also, because Cross doesn't like anybody. Will Zyon get revenge on Cross? Will Cross cheer up, emo kid? Whose cuisine will reign supreme? CROSS. ZYON. BIG BATTEL AT GROUND ZERO. Rules: Standard ladder match. Belt hanging approximately 20 feet above the ring. First to unhook it wins. Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SINGLES MATCH "The Superior One" Tom Flesher © vs. Grendel -> These two have been clashing for weeks on end, and it always seems like Tom Flesher gets the drop on the masked one! MatFlesh took him down in a Handicap match, then stole his mask and degraded him in front of millions! Grendel has almost reached the breaking point - is this all part of Tom's brilliant strategy to end him once and for all, or has the Superior One created a monster that even he cannot defeat? Rules: Standard singles match. Send to: Evolution -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Bruce Blank © vs. Charlie "Grappler" Matthews -> Bruce Blank beat some ridiculously tough competition in the International Championship Open Invitational, and now that he's captured the title, he's going to have to beat some ridiculously tough competition to keep it! First up - Charlie "Grappler" Matthews, a former ICTV Champion himself! Rules: Standard singles match. Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SINGLES MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix vs. "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke -> BECAUSE, that's why! It's a Pay Per View! Pay Per View's get big matches! THIS IS A BIG FREAKING MATCH! Rules: Standard singles match. Send to: Ace309 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu vs. "Hollywood" Spoon Jenkins -> One problem with the International Championship Tournament - who gets to fight for the title now that it's been claimed? We'll be working those details out RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW~! These two have a little bit of - OK, a hell of a lot of history, if memory serves. Tonight they fight for the right (to party!) to be the second man to challenge for the International Championship! Rules: Singles Match. Send to: Evolution -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- HANDICAP MATCH Wildchild vs. Kerry Staunton and Scott Rageheart -> Wildchild's just itching for a shot at Mike Van Siclen, but his overzealousness may be his undoing! Mike agreed to a match only IF Wildchild can beat the team of Kerry Staunton and Scott Rageheart, and he has to beat them clean! Wildchild is certainly a force to be reckoned with, but is it possible that he's bitten off more than he can chew with this one? Rules: Standard handicap match, tags required. Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH - HOUSE RULES STAIRWAY TO PANDA MATCH Jimmy the Doom © vs. Trent Hawk vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Insane Luchador -> Considering we're double booked with the IGNWF, we figured we should try to give a classic IGN match a new SWF-spin! So tonight, one of the most infamous matches in IGNWF History, THE STAIRWAY TO PANDA, will be fought in the SWF! Let's show those losers how it's done! Rules: There is a stuffed panda hanging above the ring, wrapped in barbed wire. Should you reach this panda, it is free to use how you see fit. There will be ladders all around the ring to use however you see fit. First pinfall wins. Send to: Muzz -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- HARDCORE MATCH Nemesis vs. Manson -> So, Nemesis pretty handily destroyed his first opponent here in the SWF. Now let's see if he can handily destroy THE POWER OF MANSONOSITY~! Rules: RULES?! NO RULES! Send to: hhh6294 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- OPENING BOUT "The Beast" Gabriel Drake vs. Ced Ordonez -> There's been much ado about something, recently, as "The Beast"'s entry into the SWF has been highly publicized. It would seem, though, that some people here aren't exactly thrilled with his arrival. One of those people is Michael Stephens. I imagine, after this message, another one of those people will be Ced Ordonez. Rules: Standard singles match. Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- NOTES: We are preparing an actual IGN card, so you can see what kinds of WACKY HIJINX the IGNWF'ers have been up to since they didn't implode, but that card will be waiting a day, as it's yet to be finalized. Also trying to get some old IGNWF'ers to write those matches, but we'll see. Feel free to use and abuse IGNWF characters any way you see fit. After all, this is an alternate universe. Edited July 29, 2006 by chirs3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Spoon's gonna be a toughie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 (edited) Apparently some people here don't want to read the promo, so here's the short version of where we are: "We just crash landed into a parallel timeline, that's all. An alternate universe, created at the exact moment at which the IGNWF collapsed. We live in the universe in which the IGNWF went under and reformed as the SWF, but in this timeline, the IGNWF never folded, and has been alive and kicking all these years. And now both federations have Ground Zero booked here." So it's a timeline on which the SWF technically never existed, because the IGNWF never imploded - they've survived and kept going for the past 4 years. Edited July 25, 2006 by chirs3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Satanic Angel Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Damn, that's gonna be fun to read. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Well that's me lost then - I mean yeah sure Blank could have joined the IGNWF a year ago under some gimmick or something hmmmmmmmm And choice of opponent? *thumbs up* since he did techincally beat Aecas and all, this'll be a hell of a challenge. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sly 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Apparently words never reached Raynor... oh well, fuck it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muzz 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 I hope someone has Madrac finally show up from his universal travels. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hhh6294 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 I would shit bricks of Angel showed up and actually won the World Title. Seriously. that would be the highlight of the fucking year. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muzz 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 I think it's pretty much set in stone, just like Exploding Chicken's run in while driving his Barbie Hot Wheels car. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HVilleThugg 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 What the hell??? IGNWF?? What in the hell is going on here? And who the hell are all these people? I only recognize like 3 of them. Damn...has it really been that long since I've been here? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Golgo 13 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 There are plans to move back to IGN by September. You didn't know that? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Spoon? I hate you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JJ Johnson 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Mission accomplished. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted July 25, 2006 Best inside joke ever. I'm writing the entire match with your name as Spoon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 Apparently there isn't much history between Spike and Akira. Whoops. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 There isn't? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 You mean they haven't teamed up in the past and was this close ---> || to forming a group or something with Zyon before Spike had a touch of the RUDO~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 Honestly, at this point, I'm surprised I can remember my own name, let alone fed history. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Longdogger_Pete 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 Errrr..... SMASH! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 Oh yeah, we were gonna form a tag team, weren't we. I forgot about that, which kinda gives you a hint on its signifgance. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 LOL - You left him to team up with Cross (and look how that turned out ) and he turned on Zyon. You know Akira really has a crappy record when it comes to friends & tag-team partners. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 I've teamed with Zyon twice, we're still homies. That count? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 Maybe I should start a betting pool on when Zyon turns heel Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 I want 50%! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sly 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 *Turns heel, despite being retired again.* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 You should turn tweener. How does one turn tweener. "Hey fans! Be indifferent!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 LOL Austin Sly enters the arena to a rousing round of "Meh" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 On a side note: Does the SWF have an official head referee? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hhh6294 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 On a side note: Does the SWF have an official head referee? If anyone it would be Matthew Kivell. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted July 26, 2006 If it wasn't before it is now - much obliged Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
