Getting Married

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

I'm getting married in less than six days.

 

Any sage advice from the forum on the keys to wedded bliss?

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

It's simple, really:

 

1) You're too deep into this to be asking that now.

 

2) Because of 1), you're doomed.

[Boon 0]

Double check EVERYTHING before the wedding.

 

True story: I went to my brother's wedding this weekend, and the person they hired to make the wedding cake forgot to make it. So we had wedding ice cream. There were tears.

 

Other than that, best of luck.

[Slayer 0]

You better make your face up in your favourite disguise

With your button down lips and your roller blind eyes

With your empty smile

And your hungry heart

Feel the bile rising from your guilty past

With your nerves in tatters

When the cockleshell shatters

And the hammers batter

Down the door

You better run

[-DeN- 0]

Congratulations!

[Sly 0]

Wedded bliss? All that I've gathered from my friends so far is don't let this change your entire life....

 

 

Oh, and don't fuck around on each other.

[sfaJack 0]

I'm getting married in less than six days.

 

Any sage advice from the forum on the keys to wedded bliss?

If you keep turning the volume on the TV/radio/whatever louder until you drown out the sound of her voice, you should be fine.

 

Oh, and be prepared for the worst on your wedding day. The only one of our vendors that delivered everything they were supposed to was our harpist.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

If you keep turning the volume on the TV/radio/whatever louder until you drown out the sound of her voice, you should be fine.

 

Doesn't work. She'll just bitch louder. Zoning out works just fine.

 

Regarding the vendors: They weren't the problem at my bachelor funeral. The less family you have there, the better. On the bright side, because you'll be away getting pictures taken of you and Mrs. Smitty, along with making the rounds thanking everyone for coming, the day will go by rather quickly.

 

And you better not be marrying no queers.

[Gary Floyd 0]

Congrats.

[C Dubya 04 0]

Have you been living together? If so, getting married really doesn't change that much. I found that moving in together was a much bigger deal.

 

Also remember, to you the wedding is special and fun and a time to see your friends and family. To her, it's the most important day in the history of the world. Don't fuck up, even little things and go along with what she wants.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Only 4 more days of freedom!

[Vampiro69 0]

Enjoy it while it lasts. After that it becomes a prison. At least that is what my dad says.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Enjoy it while it lasts. After that it becomes a prison. At least that is what my dad says.

 

More of a prison than being a public school social studies teacher?

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Also, FWIW, (and for those who have read my latest thread) I am getting married outside, by a judge. However, I think there is going to be some mention of God in the ceremony, mostly to appease the familias.

[Red Baron 0]

Just hope your wedding song isn't Every Breath You Take

 

Worked a wedding a few weeks ago, and that was the Bride and Groom wedding song.

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

Notice how all the replies in here are negative? It's not too late to back out man.

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

Oh and to add to the pop culture marriage=prison references:

 

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Also, FWIW, (and for those who have read my latest thread) I am getting married outside, by a judge.

 

Well then I'm sure the judge is a red diaper doper baby, meaning your wedding certificate would be a "living, breathing document," meaning you could probably get out of this bondage whenever you wanted with little or no financial hit.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Man, you are like one big walking cliche, but you can be a damn funny cliche at times.

[NoCalMike 0]

Congrats. I'm getting married August 25th.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Man, you are like one big walking cliche...

 

I go out there and give it my 110 percent with every post.

 

And you'll probably be too tired to fuck at day's end, even with all your cardio.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Man, you are like one big walking cliche...

 

I go out there and give it my 110 percent with every post.

 

And you'll probably be too tired to fuck at day's end, even with all your cardio.

 

Probably.

 

Usually after a hard day murdering infants and spitting on soldiers I usually don't have much energy to do much of anything besides kick back and read Das Kapital.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

After 12+ hours of standing around and getting pictures taken in 90+-degree weather with high humidity, all while wearing a tux, as I entered my hotel room on my wedding night I thought, "Man, now I also have to have sex? I just want to go to sleep."

 

So this was like just any other day for me.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Woman and I have decided to abandon the rest of humanity and get married by some kind of beach prophet on a caribbean island. My parents might be there, but her mother and stepfather are absurdly religious and bizarre. Her brother is a good shit, though. Navy guy. Pretty well-adjusted. My brother is a gorilla.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

I'm married.

[sfaJack 0]

After 12+ hours of standing around and getting pictures taken in 90+-degree weather with high humidity, all while wearing a tux, as I entered my hotel room on my wedding night I thought, "Man, now I also have to have sex? I just want to go to sleep."

 

So this was like just any other day for me.

12 hours?? Did you two take individual photos with each guest at the wedding or something? Why in the hell would it take so long?

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Photos were just part of it. I'm talking about the wedding, reception, etc.

[Guest Vitamin X]

How is it so far, smitty?

[CanadianChris 0]

My photos seemed like they took 12 hours, because my mother-in-law insisted that we go to every spot in the horse-drawn carriage that drove my wife to the church. Horse-drawn carriages move very slowly. We were an hour late to the reception. There was tension.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

There was tension at mine, especially when the crack-whore sister-in-law stormed out because she wanted to bring an uninvited guest the day of the wedding. Good times.