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Big Ol' Smitty

Getting Married

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Our ceremony started a half hour late because my wife's grandparents were late getting to the chapel. Thus, we couldn't do that whole official "seating of the grandparents" thing.

 

The reason for their being late? They were riding with her aunt and two cousins and one of the cousins apparently refused to get in the car to go to the chapel until she finished painting her toenails.

 

I should also mention that the Toenail Painter was wearing close-toed shoes.

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My daughter has been a fower girl in 5 marriages now in the past 2 years. I should start renting her out, "Flower Girl For Hire"

 

Hell, she's what, 3 years old or so? Time for her to start bringing home the bacon. Can't mooch off you and the missus forever.

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Double check EVERYTHING before the wedding.

 

True story: I went to my brother's wedding this weekend, and the person they hired to make the wedding cake forgot to make it. So we had wedding ice cream. There were tears.

 

Other than that, best of luck.

 

Oh man...that's awful. That sounds like something out of a sitcom.

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My daughter has been a fower girl in 5 marriages now in the past 2 years. I should start renting her out, "Flower Girl For Hire"

 

Hell, she's what, 3 years old or so? Time for her to start bringing home the bacon. Can't mooch off you and the missus forever.

 

she's 4 now.

 

no doubt, Matt. At least the couple getting married buys her flower girl dresses for her...otherwise I'd have to put the kabosh on all that.

 

What's shitty is that my wife ends up being in each of those weddings as well...so that means upwards of $100 a pop for goddamn bridesmaid dresses!

 

Everytime she tells me about another wedding she's in coming up, my wallet cringes.

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Guest Smues

My wedding is starting on time regardless of who doesn't make it in time. Even if there's a blizzard outside (part of the reason I wanted to do a mid-December wedding in the first place.)

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That's what you think. Smuesette will probably beg to differ, especially if it's someone from her side.

 

general wedding rule: bride gets what bride wants, otherwise bride fucks somebody up

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Lushus knows.

 

There was another wedding reception at the place where we got hitched (in the other hall across the parking lot) and the groom, or one of his tuxedo'ed groomsmen, from that party made the mistake of cutting through our reception hall as a shortcut or something. Big mistake.

 

Upon seeing him, my wife completely flipped out and starting walking towards him, screaming like a crazed bitch from hell about how I was the only groom allowed inside our hall and she wanted his ass kicked out and on and on. He stopped, turned around, and poked his head in like "WTF?" before my father-in-law stepped in and told her that she was acting ridiculous and needed to calm down. I've rarely seen her THAT pissed. She still gets a little mad thinking about it now, more than two months later.

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That's what you think. Smuesette will probably beg to differ, especially if it's someone from her side.

 

Normally that's be true, but thankfully for me Smuesette doesn't really care about the ceremony, she just wants to be married. Plus she doesn't want most of her family their anyway, so she'd likely want to rush the ceremony before the annoying people had a chance to show up.

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That's what you think. Smuesette will probably beg to differ, especially if it's someone from her side.

 

Normally that's be true, but thankfully for me Smuesette doesn't really care about the ceremony, she just wants to be married. Plus she doesn't want most of her family their anyway, so she'd likely want to rush the ceremony before the annoying people had a chance to show up.

 

how much money are you spending on this wedding she doesn't care about?????

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That's what you think. Smuesette will probably beg to differ, especially if it's someone from her side.

 

general wedding rule: bride gets what bride wants, otherwise bride fucks somebody up

 

Apparently mine has changed the rule, she wants me to decide on what we wear and where it happens. She just wants control over where the honeymoon is. I don't know if I got screwed on that deal or not and she does reserve the right to take control if my ideas continue to be stupid. She wasn't big on my purple tux and top hat idea, so I'm on thin ice and I have to avoid talking about it for the next three months.

 

Before it's over I'm sure she'll have complete control. We did both agree on getting married before getting married since we want nothing to do with a church. Churches suck, they are like the mafia providing you a favor. Which you usually have to repay by giving up every Sunday in football season.

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Guest Smues
That's what you think. Smuesette will probably beg to differ, especially if it's someone from her side.

 

Normally that's be true, but thankfully for me Smuesette doesn't really care about the ceremony, she just wants to be married. Plus she doesn't want most of her family their anyway, so she'd likely want to rush the ceremony before the annoying people had a chance to show up.

 

how much money are you spending on this wedding she doesn't care about?????

 

As little as possible. Doing ceremony and reception at my mom's church, food will be like meat and cheese trays or something cheap. There is going to be very little money going into this thing.

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oh okay then..whew!

 

some people go above and beyond simply because their PARENTS want it that way.

 

my wife and I were going to elope in Cancun but noooooo her mom threw the biggest shit fit ever!

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Guest Smues

The only reason we're having a ceremony is because my mom wants one, but she doesn't want a fancy one, just a simple ceremony.

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That's what you think. Smuesette will probably beg to differ, especially if it's someone from her side.

 

Normally that's be true, but thankfully for me Smuesette doesn't really care about the ceremony...

 

Does Smuesette have a sister?

 

...she just wants to be married.

 

Nevermind.

 

Plus she doesn't want most of her family their anyway...

 

Nevermind my nevermind.

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My wedding ceremony is going to be very modest. Twenty minutes.....it's the goddamn reception that is costing the money. At least my parents are chipping in.

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Don't fucking get married, or engaged. You will think everything is just fine and one day...one day BAM you get fucked, and crushed and the bitch will leave and take your heart with her.

 

 

...congratulations, though, I guess.

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My wedding ceremony is going to be very modest. Twenty minutes.....it's the goddamn reception that is costing the money. At least my parents are chipping in.

That's how it was for my wedding. The ceremony itself cost about $500, but everything else ran over four grand.

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Don't fucking get married, or engaged. You will think everything is just fine and one day...one day BAM you get fucked, and crushed and the bitch will leave and take your heart with her.

 

 

...congratulations, though, I guess.

 

man what happened? weren't you two together for a long as time?

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Don't fucking get married, or engaged. You will think everything is just fine and one day...one day BAM you get fucked, and crushed and the bitch will leave and take your heart with her.

 

 

...congratulations, though, I guess.

 

man what happened? weren't you two together for a long as time?

 

 

5 years... there are good days and bad days

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wow...and now it's DONE done?

 

my wife and I have been together for 11 years, married for 7...we've been through pretty much every shitty thing a couple can go through.

 

try to salvage what you can, IF you can.

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wow...and now it's DONE done?

 

my wife and I have been together for 11 years, married for 7...we've been through pretty much every shitty thing a couple can go through.

 

try to salvage what you can, IF you can.

to be honest i think she was just looking for a reason..."I'm unhappy" and she started dating other people 10 days after we split...I know I was marrying up, but damn it all.

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Guest Smues
That's what you think. Smuesette will probably beg to differ, especially if it's someone from her side.

 

Normally that's be true, but thankfully for me Smuesette doesn't really care about the ceremony...

 

Does Smuesette have a sister?

 

She does, but she's the type you'd hate for weddings. She wants a big frilly wedding where everything has to be perfect and zillions of dollars are spent, and she's likely to flip out about the smallest details. I'm dredding even having to attend her wedding.

 

Plus she doesn't want most of her family their anyway...

 

Nevermind my nevermind.

 

She's spent less time planning the wedding and more time figuring out how to keep people from attending. My plan of having it just days before Christmas should help that alot.

 

"You're wedding is when? But I'll be out of town on a christmas vacation!"

"Oh drat, well don't change your plans because of me, we won't miss you"

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How is it so far, smitty?

 

It's been pretty great. Just got back from a trip to Washington & New York. We also have a house now, which is pretty cool.

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