The 25 Worst Remakes Made

[The Buzz 0]

Wow I must have horrible taste in movies. I enjoyed probably five of those movies on that list, granted I never watched the original of any of them.

[Epic Reine 0]

The 2004 Dawn Of The Dead remake should be at the top of that list.

[... 0]

Wicker Man was almost (almost) worth it though just for the scene of Cage karate kicking Leelee Sobieski

Not the bees, NOT THE BEEEEEEEEES

[Robert 0]

I bought the Wicker Man a month ago for 99 cents at a used DVD store. I popped it in, and I've made it through 43:33 of the film. I've laughed so many times, and will power can get me through this movie.

 

That and some of alcohol might help.

 

Ok, a shitload of alcohol might get me through this movie.

 

[cabbageboy 0]

Really? I found the first half of Wicker Man really boring and even incoherent, not all that funny. Okay, Cage's bizarre dream scene when he wakes up and say "God dammit!" is pretty amusing, but other than that not so much. The 2nd half however? Hysterical.

 

Maltese Falcon has to be #1 on the list of best remakes. Sure it was a book but it was a remake of the 1931 film (which is very good in its own right, in fact in some areas maybe even better than the Bogart movie).

 

I don't think I would consider LOTR a remake exactly. Yeah there was the animated 1978 film but it only covered through Helms Deep, and there was also a horrid ROTK animated version. But I don't consider it a remake when something is animated and then done live action later.

[Jingus 0]

11. 101 Dalmatians

14. The Ring Two (2005)

15. The Stepford Wives (2004)

18. City of Angels (1998)

20. Planet of the Apes (2001)

23. The Ladykillers (2004)

24. Alfie (2004)

25. Meet Joe Black (1998)

Those really shouldn't be on the list, there's been many, many remakes much worse than them, and Ring 2 isn't a remake at all. And Psycho shouldn't be #1.

[King Kamala 0]

Yeah, I must have overlooked some of those. The 101 Dalmatians remake isn't a bad kid movie. Not a great one but decent enough. Glenn Close does a decent job of hamming it up. Now 102 Dalmatians, that's pretty shitty. One of those movies that I can't even remember why I saw it in the first place. I think I saw it in high school and it was one of those days before vacation where the teacher didn't do anything so they showed that figuring it wouldn't offend anybody. Think it was the same class where the teacher showed Cool Runnings every other week.

[Ripper 0]

The 2004 Dawn Of The Dead remake should be at the top of that list.

 

That fucking movie ruled.

[cabbageboy 0]

I thought the 2004 Dawn was okay, but the 1978 original is still miles better.

 

I think whoever did that list is a huge Michael Caine fan, since Alfie and Get Carter were both on the list. I think the remake of Get Carter is more offensive if you're from the UK though, since that film is some major classic, whereas in the USA it's just a pretty solid Caine flick.

[Nighthawk 0]

Ok, I really don't think Psycho was bad at all, it was just pointless. I mean, Vince in drag as the reveal did draw laughter, but he looked funny and everyone already knew it was him, so that couldn't be helped.

 

Godzilla is the worst remake, and I can't be convinced otherwise.

 

2004 Dawn of the Dead was awesome.

[razazteca 0]

#1 should be Batman & Robin which is a remake of the 60's Adam West, Batman movie. Worst movie ever the script was nothing but one liners, the sets looked like it was a constructed in a airplane hanger, and there were no *BANG* *POW* *OUCH* during the fight scenes.

[PLAGIARISM! 0]

there were no *BANG* *POW* *OUCH* during the fight scenes.

 

If there had been, they might have got away with that film being as stupid as it was.

[Failed Bridge 0]

Godzilla is the worst remake, and I can't be convinced otherwise.

Even if it isn't actually a remake but a completely different spin on the Japanese franchise? Unless we're not talking about the Matthew Broderik one and instead are talking about Godzilla 2001 or whatever the hell it is.

 

Dawn of the Dead remake was terrible. No motorcycle gang and no massive redneck bbq where they shot zombies coming up from over the hill. That's some shit...and the ending was terrible too.

[Coffin Surfer 0]

Payback should probably be on the list as it is a unfunny comedic take on Point Blank. Mel Gibson's performance annoys me to no end in that movie, did he really think talking like that sounded cool or something?

[Nighthawk 0]

Godzilla is the worst remake, and I can't be convinced otherwise.

Even if it isn't actually a remake but a completely different spin on the Japanese franchise? Unless we're not talking about the Matthew Broderik one and instead are talking about Godzilla 2001 or whatever the hell it is.

 

Dawn of the Dead remake was terrible. No motorcycle gang and no massive redneck bbq where they shot zombies coming up from over the hill. That's some shit...and the ending was terrible too.

 

Are you actually referencing Godzilla 1985? Because that was awesome.

 

Ok, now I'm a pretty big god damn Godzilla fan. That's actually one of my planned leg sleeves, and I'll do fuckin' Mothra and shit, and King Gheedora. I love me some god damn Godzilla. I kicked my father in the head over Godzilla, and I was wearing god damned Airwalks at the time. Godzilla, bitches!

 

Godzilla!

 

And the Dawn of the Dead remake was badass. I still think the opening to that should be the opening to any Rapture movie. THAT'S WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN! THE LORD! And all that.

[Guest Vitamin X]

The opening to 28 Weeks Later does kind of the same thing, but even better. Great music, too.

 

I didn't mind the Dawn of the Dead remake, although if I hadn't been dragged along to see it I probably wouldn't have cared to watch it until recently. I never got into zombie flicks much until relatively recently when I watched the Evil Dead trilogy.

[cabbageboy 0]

Also with Dawn of the Dead 2004 not only did it not have the bikers and rednecks, it lost that wonderful feeling of utopia that the original had. Half of the appeal of the original is the notion of being in a small group that kills zombies and takes control of a mall. Yet the remake has these asshole killjoy guards in the mall and it prevents the fun.

[Jingus 0]

I think the DotD remake HAD to be that way. The fast running zombies are such a fearsome enemy that humanity's pretty much fucked. How would a biker gang even get TO the mall, through a crowd of hundreds of sprinting zombies? The only real flaw I thought that one had was that there were too many random people to keep track of in the mall, should've been a smaller cast.

[RedJed 0]

I thought the changes in the Dawn remake were refreshing. Just because its a remake doesnt mean it HAS to follow the same formula as the original, as some of you seem to suggest.

 

 

[luke-o 0]

Whos this Godzilla character? I always thought it was Godzirra?

[Jingus 0]

Gojira. Per wiki:

The name "Godzilla" is a transliteration of Gojira, a combination of two Japanese words: gorira (lit. "gorilla") and kujira (lit. "whale").

[luke-o 0]

I was just being racist, but that thanks for clearing that up.

[Ripper 0]

Also with Dawn of the Dead 2004 not only did it not have the bikers and rednecks, it lost that wonderful feeling of utopia that the original had. Half of the appeal of the original is the notion of being in a small group that kills zombies and takes control of a mall. Yet the remake has these asshole killjoy guards in the mall and it prevents the fun.

 

 

Dude, the guards were over them for all of 5 minutes. They were a small group that took over the mall and proceeded to fuck on film, try on shoes and drink lots of coffee and shit.

 

I do agree there were almost too many characters...but eh. more people to kill.

 

Fuck that biker gang and fuck those rednecks honestly. I stand by my "that movie ruled" statement.

[Coffin Surfer 0]

Eh..this has been debated to death before but again, I don't much care for the "Dawn of the Dead" remake outside of the opening and the global carnage credits set to Cash's "When the Man Comes Around."

 

The zombies weren't interesting, the characters ranged from tolerable to please get the fuck off the screen to completely faceless, little onscreen gore, terrible jokes, weak action, zero suspense and dread, and of course stupid random conflicts to fill the thin script out like "your not going to take my zombie baby!" , "we have to get the dog!" and the infamous security guards.

 

There were rednecks in the remake, that fat zombie woman and her family for instance. I'd also wager the security guards were good ol boys. They just aren't as fun as the ones getting shit faced and target practicing in the original.

 

Now the Night of the Living Dead remake ruled. Not the original of course, but damn good in its own right.

[Gary Floyd 0]

For me, the worst is Godzilla. Being a big fan of the old kaiju eiga flicks, that one just really pissed me off.

 

Sign me up in the people who like the Dawn of the Dead remake. It's not as good as the original, but as a horror movie, it definately stands on it's own two feet.

[Coffin Surfer 0]

Also with Dawn of the Dead 2004 not only did it not have the bikers and rednecks, it lost that wonderful feeling of utopia that the original had. Half of the appeal of the original is the notion of being in a small group that kills zombies and takes control of a mall. Yet the remake has these asshole killjoy guards in the mall and it prevents the fun.

 

 

Wow, I didn't get a utopia vibe from the original Dawn at all. There is overhwelming doom lurking in every scene, while the characters even appear bored and unhappy very quickly into the mall scenes. The pregant chick doesn't love Flyboy, Roy or Roger(name?) is dying, and Peter is lonely..etc. Obviously, Romero was making a point about shallow material happiness.

 

The remake is much more of an ideal utopia during the "relaxed" scenes. But that's why the original is such superior filmmaking, George gave the characters and their situation so much more weight. Yeah, they are safe in the mall for some time but it won't keep them happy and content with their situation forever. The new one perhaps tried to do this with the "let's find an island for the sake of adventure" bullshit but it just doesn't work nearly as well.

[RepoMan 0]

there were no *BANG* *POW* *OUCH* during the fight scenes.

 

If there had been, they might have got away with that film being as stupid as it was.

 

I'd love to see a modern remake of the 60s Batman. I just don't know who you could get to recreate Adam West's goofiness.

 

[Nighthawk 0]

He's not dead. Just have him play it old.

[razazteca 0]

A man in his 40's running around with a young ward fighting weird creepy costumed villains in the big city? Remind you of someone....why its none other than

 

Trekkie, Vader fan, Big Daddy V fan...

aaaaaaaaaaagh!

 

Craig Ferguson

[cabbageboy 0]

Well, to clarify about the original Dawn....yes, eventually they get frustrated with the mall isolation but for a time there is a feeling that "Hey, we got rid of the zombies and own this place!" They go on the shopping spree, eat whatever they want, do whatever they want.

 

The remake (as noted) had far too many characters to the point where few were notable. And truth be told, it doesn't take you on a roller coster ride of emotions the way the original did. In the original I felt:

 

--Terror and angst during the opening scenes, as in "Oh my god the world is coming to an end."

--Amusement at the rednecks hunting zombies for fun.

--A feeling of being swept away in escapist action as they rid the mall of the zombies. Throw in some suspense there too.

--A sense of relief after they complete this and have some fun in the mall.

--A sense of hollow, bittersweet victory as they are still isolated and the world is still fucked, and after the initial riotous time in the mall it all feels shallow and hopeless.

--Sadness when Roger dies.

--And finally, during the crazy biker finale I felt a combo of nearly all of these things. It was hilarious, terrifying, in some ways sad (Flyboy's fate), had escapist action, and finally a sense of bittersweet victory.

 

The 2004 film is pretty solid and might be a quicker, tighter film but we're talking about the difference between a *** movie and a **** movie.