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Lil' Bitch

The 25 Worst Remakes Made

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1. Psycho (1998)

2. Rollerball (2002)

3. The Fog (2005)

4. The Wicker Man (2006)

5. Swept Away (2002)

6. When A Stranger Calls (2006)

7. Get Carter (2000)

8. The Out-of-Towners (1999)

9. The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)

10. Godzilla (1998)

11. 101 Dalmatians

12. The Hitcher (2006)

13. All The King's Men (2006)

14. The Ring Two (2005)

15. The Stepford Wives (2004)

16. The House of Wax (2006)

17. Down to Earth (2001)

18. City of Angels (1998)

19. The Pink Panther (2006)

20. Planet of the Apes (2001)

21. Poseidon (2006)

22. The Truth About Charlie (2002)

23. The Ladykillers (2004)

24. Alfie (2004)

25. Meet Joe Black (1998)

 

Do you agree? Or are there any other films you'd like to add? I enjoyed Get Carter, but then again I've never seen the original.

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Pretty good list, about as accurate as one of these lists could get. The only problem is I think some of them are too low and The Out of Towners is too high. I remember that being more forgettable than outright bad.

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The Ring Two isn't a remake. It's an original sequel to a remake... kind of like how Texas Chainsaw Massacre the Beginning is an originally written prequel to the remake. Speaking of which, how is the TCM remake not on that list? Talk about a pile of garbage.

 

Also, I thought House of Wax wasn't a remake of the original and just some crappy flick that used the same name as the Vincent Price classic?

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I enjoyed the Lady killers. The movie had its share of fun lines. "He brung.......his BITCH.........to the muthafuckin' Waffle Hut".

 

I didn't know Down to Earth was a remake, but what an abortion of a movie it was, and Cage was just "phoning it in" in the Wicker Man remake. What a load of crap.

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Ladykillers is one I'm surprised made the list but if you've ever seen the Alec Guinness original you'd know why the Coen movie made the list.

 

Down to Earth is complex in what it is remaking. It is remaking Heaven Can Wait (with Warren Beatty), which itself was a remake of Here Comes Mr. Jordan (1941) and NOT a remake of the actual 1943 Heaven Can Wait. There was also a 1947 movie called Down to Earth, but I don't think the Chris Rock movie has a whole lot to do with it.

 

By the way, I actually think the Vincent Price House of Wax is a piece of crap, mainly existing to showcase the new 3D process circa 1953. Nobody would put it on this list though, because it was a more popular movie than the original Mystery of the Wax Museum.

 

Anyway, Wicker Man with Cage should by far be #1 on this list. One of the 5 worst movies in the history of the world. As my dad said after seeing the original "I thought that Cage version was bad until I saw the original. Now I think it's REALLY horrible."

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PKJJ would have gone down a lot smoother with more time in the damn editing room. Like David Spade said, the best way to enjoy "King Long" is on DVD. "Bye-bye first hour!"

 

House of Wax is a crummy slasher flick with a few ideas cribbed from the original movie(s), not so much a true remake.

 

And yes, Wicker Man '06 should probably be at the top, and I'm glad other folks agree. What other remakes become such a completely idiotic comedy in the process? "YOU BITCHES!!!" Rifftraxed, it's even more funny, if that was possible.

 

What's with this recent phobia about using the entire title for the remake? "The Poseidon," "Guess Who?" come to mind, and now I see that the remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers coming out next month will just be called "The Invasion." What the hell...

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That was the greatest comedy ever (wickerman remake) and I loved every second of it. I mean, yeah, it sucked HARD, but so hard that it was funny.

 

You know what...I will say it here. I didn't have a problem with Planet of the Apes 2001.

 

I also didn't have that much a problem with City of Angels (and its all kinds of fucked up ending) or Meet Joe Black(although it was ridiculously long and scenes really should have ended 10 earlier than they actually would.)

 

...

 

I take that back. Meet Joe Black annoyed me so yeah...let it stay.

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Oh yeah, I forgot Tim Burton's rapeing of Planet of the Apes.

 

Fucking Tim Burton.

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That movie is probably the #1 most disappointing movie I've ever seen. I love Tim Burton and I love the first four Planet of The Apes movies. And that remake was such a piece of shit.

 

The Wicker Man is incredibly boring for the first two thirds and then the last third is all kinds of crazy unintentional comedy. I loved Nick Cage punching the woman in the face while wearing a bear suit.

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#1 has to be that god awful Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

That's not a remake...It's simply another movie based on the same book

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is still a classic in my eyes

but i liked Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...actually it's more faithful to the book

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Would movies based on old tv series count if so then The Avengers, Dukes of Hazzard and every single Cedric the Entertainer movie should be on this list.

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Rollerball shouldn't be that high. I mean yeah, it was a piece of crap, but worse than alot of movies it's ahead of? I think not. Actually it's sort of a guilty pleasure of mine.

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but i liked Charlie and the Chocolate Factory...actually it's more faithful to the book

 

It's not at all. The portrayal of Willy Wonka goes against the book and the tacked on subplot about his father was just insulting

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Rollerball shouldn't be that high. I mean yeah, it was a piece of crap, but worse than alot of movies it's ahead of? I think not. Actually it's sort of a guilty pleasure of mine.

I think it was because they removed all the social and political overtones from the first movie and just made it a YEAH EXTREEEEEME WHOOO movie

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The Get Carter remake was fucking horrendous, although Im biased with the original film being set in Newcastle(I used to work just across the multi-storey car park he threw the guy off in Gateshead)

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I don't think the Psycho remake should be #1, not over crap like Wicker Man. It was an ill advised idea to simply refilm the exact same movie as Hitchcock, but at least it sorta kept the original idea in mind. With Wicker Man, I have no idea what the fuck the director was thinking with all the changes that were made.

 

I think we need another thread of the best remakes ever.

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It'd be easier to discuss which remakes shouldn't be on such a list. Not that any spring to mind immediately. But I still really like Peter Jackson's King Kong.

 

I think the 1976 version is the horrible one

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It'd be easier to discuss which remakes shouldn't be on such a list. Not that any spring to mind immediately. But I still really like Peter Jackson's King Kong.

 

I think the 1976 version is the horrible one

 

The sequel to the 1976 movie is the real terrible one.

 

I know there have been good remakes but has there ever been a good sequel to a remake?

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Rollerball shouldn't be that high. I mean yeah, it was a piece of crap, but worse than alot of movies it's ahead of? I think not. Actually it's sort of a guilty pleasure of mine.

I think it was because they removed all the social and political overtones from the first movie and just made it a YEAH EXTREEEEEME WHOOO movie

 

That might be true, but the movie itself wasn't horrid. I think they are basing it too much on the greatness of the first movie (See Pyscho Number #1 when it too wasn't _that_ bad) instead of the crappiness of the remake.

 

 

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This is lame and pointless. Everyone hates remakes, yeah, we know. Why not do a list of the best remakes? That would be interesting and might require some thought.

 

Come to think of it, there really aren't many good ones. If multiple adaptations count, Maltese Falcon and the LOTR movies would be at the top—I don't think they should, though. Jackson's King Kong really was good.

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Wanna hear something funny? I remember in my local paper when that 1998 Psycho came out it got ***1/2 and the reviewer (I forgot who) said Vince Vaughn was much better than Anthony Perkins!

 

As far as sequels to remakes, I'd say Ocean's 13 was good. 12 wasn't so much though.

 

I would have also put that 1976 King Kong on this list. I'm not especially fond of the Jackson 2005 movie either, but it's at least a well made film. Neither can touch the 1933 original however. The only thing I wonder about with the 1933 Kong is why Bruce Cabot was the hero in it instead of resident RKO action hero Joel McCrea. What is doubly curious is that McCrea was in The Most Dangerous Game (1932) with Fay Wray and Robert Armstrong (the other 2 Kong leads) and that film was also produced for RKO by Cooper and Schoedsack. In fact, Most Dangerous Game uses the same basic jungle sets as Kong, right down to the famous huge log over the chasm!

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