NFL Week 14 - Dolphins? More like LOLphins! Amirite?

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

I just wanted to get a Dolphins thread in before the end of the season.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Football games:

 

Thursday

CHI @ WAS

 

Sunday

CAR @ JAC

MIA @ BUF

SD @ TEN

TB @ HOU

OAK @ GB

DAL @ DET

NYG @ PHI

STL @ CIN

ARI @ SEA

MIN @ SF

KC @ DEN

PIT @ NE

CLE @ NYJ

IND @ BAL

 

Monday

NO @ ATL

 

[Hoff 0]

Not that the Giants and Lions are the class of the NFC or anything, but if the Vikings lose to San Francisco after rolling those two, I'll kill myself.

[Red Baron 0]

Please beat the Cardinals for the love of god and not on the last play either.

[cabbageboy 0]

It is now time for some predictions!

 

Thursday

CHI @ WAS: Hell who knows. Both of these teams are baffling. I think that the Skins will be inspired in this one though and bad Rex shows up. Redskins by 7.

 

Sunday

CAR @ JAC: Panthers are basically toast and Jacksonville usually doesn't lose to teams they can beat. Jags by 10.

MIA @ BUF: Another week, another loss for the Dolphins. Buffalo by 6.

SD @ TEN: I still don't buy the Chargers whatsoever. The Titans seem to have righted the ship, so I'll take Tenn. by 4.

TB @ HOU: Can this nondescript Bucs team actually go 12-4? Maybe 11-5. Houston holds serve at home and wins by 3.

OAK @ GB: The Packers might be in for a tough haul if Favre isn't 100%. Raiders keep it closer than expected but GB wins it by 7.

DAL @ DET: If the Lions aren't finished now, they will be on Sunday once the Cowboys stomp them. Dallas by 17.

NYG @ PHI: This is usually the time where the Eagles make an unwanted stand and the Giants turn in a baffling performance. Philly by 6.

STL @ CIN: Bengals are the most disappointing team in the league, yet I can't help but pick them every week for some reason. Cincy by 7.

ARI @ SEA: The Seahawks are very much under the radar, but if they can win out they would be 12-4 and a solid #3 seed in the NFC. Seattle by 8.

MIN @ SF: Vikings are on a bitchslap roll right now (too dominant for a jobber roll). Vikings by 14.

KC @ DEN: Broncos are another baffling team, but KC looks pretty much done. Denver will win this one at home by 10.

PIT @ NE: Here we go. Can the Steelers pull this thing off? Eh. I can't really see anyone other than the Colts actually beating the Patriots, but this could be close. NE by 6.

CLE @ NYJ: The Browns seem like that team that will tease a playoff run and then blow it. In other words Jets by 1.

IND @ BAL: Ravens had their chance and they let the Patriots off the hook. Can't see them having much left for the Colts. Indy by 10.

 

Monday

NO @ ATL: The Saints might be finished after that debacle. I'll take the Falcons in a bit of an upset by 4.

 

[snuffbox 0]

By all accounts I've heard, Favre will be fine for Sunday. Remember, he'll have had a few days of extra rest.

 

Weather could end up posing a bigger problem for Oakland than Favre's health will for Green Bay.

 

Favre will probably come up about 50 yards short of the all-time yardage record. That'll have to fall in St Louis, unless Favre throws for his usual 5 picks and two dozen yards there.

 

Will JaMarcus Russel start?

[Kinetic 0]

Now that the college regular season is over and with the Bucs basically securing their division last week, my football focus is on two things only: Tampa Bay winning and New England losing. Pittsburgh seems like the perfect matchup to exploit all of New England's weaknesses. I just have this gut feeling that this is the week that someone's finally going to break Tom Brady's leg.

[snuffbox 0]

Does that mean he's going to be a terrible tv analyst for the next 20 years?

[Zetterberg is God 0]

Buffalo should win this game, but considering that they barely beat Miami last time, who knows.

[Perfxion 0]

Thursday

CHI @ WAS : Too Soon?! Or Better yet, who cares. This is a perfect NFL TV station game. Of no importance and with two teams who can go zero to suck in 3.5 seconds. Bears win by 6.

 

Sunday

CAR @ JAC : JAC will level the feel with them. JAC by 14.

MIA @ BUF : BUF will keep the streak alive, but only by 3.

SD @ TEN : TEN gets back on the losing track and out of the playoffs. SD by 10.

TB @ HOU : TB win by 20. HOU is just that sad that they will get creamed.

OAK @ GB : Home game means cold weather and OAK gets blown over. GB by 15.

DAL @ DET: Tough game: Dallas needs the win to win the NFC East. DET needs to win to say in the 6th spot. Dallas by 10.

NYG @ PHI : NFC East games are toss-ups. PHI, only because I hate the Giants. Who can really tell which version of each team shows up.

STL @ CIN : CIN will win but with give up 30 points, like normal.

ARI @ SEA : This is another hard game to pick. SEA should win this, but since they don't have a death blow, ARI might come back and win it. Still, SEA by 8.

MIN @ SF : MIN will run all over them, and win by 20+.

KC @ DEN : Crap vs Crap. Den wins by a game winning field goal.

PIT @ NE : damn, this is a tough one, and should have been the SNF game. Oh Well, I can't honestly know the outcome, but manybe NE by 3, again.

CLE @ NYJ : CLE wins by 15. Jets lose out rest of season.

IND @ BAL : crybabies will get beat again, and IND has another divisional title.

 

Monday

NO @ ATL: NO wins because only Vick gives ATL a shot against this team in terms of going score for score. Since he is locked up, all the scoring will be done by NO. 44 to 14.

[Guest My Pal, the Tortoise]

It is now time for some predictions!

 

Thursday

CHI @ WAS: Hell who knows. Both of these teams are baffling. I think that the Skins will be inspired in this one

Why

[Kinetic 0]

It is now time for some predictions!

 

Thursday

CHI @ WAS: Hell who knows. Both of these teams are baffling. I think that the Skins will be inspired in this one

Why

 

[Guest My Pal, the Tortoise]

Sean Taylor Magic failed to help his Redskin teammates and his three Hurricane teammates on the Ravens. What's this asshole doin' up there, playing pinochle? Start affecting outcomes of games here! We have sportswriters who need copy, dammit!

[Kinetic 0]

Members of the fraternity of former University of Miami players cast a wide net across our society. So while Sean Taylor's ghost has yet to affect the outcome of a football game, it's entirely possible that he's affected, say, a race riot at the Florida state penitentiary. Or aided a successful drive-by shooting.

[snuffbox 0]

It is icy here and this morning somebody fell down. I spit on her. I could feel Sean Taylor's presence with me then.

[Maztinho 0]

Sean Taylor Magic failed to help his Redskin teammates and his three Hurricane teammates on the Ravens. What's this asshole doin' up there, playing pinochle? Start affecting outcomes of games here! We have sportswriters who need copy, dammit!

 

He's thuggin' and buggin' and it rained in Utah, I take it that Sean was spittin' on me from above.

[NoCalMike 0]

Redskins like to win 3 quarters of football. They like to have a small lead to not pad on, and let the other team come back and win in the closing seconds. They have had a halftime lead in just about every single one of their losses, besides the Pats game.

 

So all I am going to predict is.....

 

Redskins 17 Bears 10 going into the 4th quarter...........

[The Niggardly King 0]

I predict a week of blowouts and shit... with one decent game that will get BJs for being the only good game of the week.

[Guest My Pal, the Tortoise]

We learned today that Brian Griese lost his starting job because he offended Lovie Smith and Ron Turner by claiming to have engineered the game-winning drive against the Eagles. Lovie was just looking for an excuse to take Griese out and put Grossman, his guy, back in. I'm sick of this idiot.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Me too. I'd like for you guys to fire him so we can hire him as our defensive coordinator.

[Guest My Pal, the Tortoise]

Get ready for a parade of lies and outright refusal to modify or adapt any gameplan that sprung from the genius mind of Lovie Smith.

[Hawk 34 0]

I already get that every week from Marvin Lewis. Does Lovie tell Chicago that they have a "elementary level of knowledge" on football?

[Guest Vitamin X]

Why are defensive coordinators such assholes as head coaches? Yikes.

[Kinetic 0]

I've risen to the lofty rank of 88th place in PFT's pick-em game, with a respectable record of 115-57. Potential prizes bring potential questions: Which Fathead should I go with? Who wants to attend the Super Bowl with me? Would anyone be willing to read and then summarize Jerome Bettis's book for me?

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

Like I explained the other day, the Bears offense is designed to be run by Grossman. I understand where Lovie was coming from with his wanting Grossman back in, even if the real reason for Griese being benched is stupid.

[Guest My Pal, the Tortoise]

I already get that every week from Marvin Lewis. Does Lovie tell Chicago that they have a "elementary level of knowledge" on football?

Explicitly, no, he's too mild-mannered to come out and call us idiots, but the implication that pervades everything he tells the media is that not only are they too stupid to grasp the nuts and bolts of football, but they're not to be trusted with information that is far too classified to leave Halas Hall. When Olin Kreutz punched his teammate in the face at a gun range, Lovie tried to keep it under wraps and obviously failed, because that sort of information just can't be controlled. When he arrived in Chicago, he tried to tell the media that they were on his side, and asked that they only report what he wanted them to report. This was not quite accepted. That's college football shit. If you want the world to be your cheerleader and never criticize a single thing you do because that constitutes "hating us," then you're better off in the college game. Even meatball Bears fans will hold their team accountable, unlike the townie dopes who establish cults of personality for college coaches. Oh well. Just another football coach who thinks he's handling matters of more gravity and complication than gym class bullshit. Someone just needs to tell one of these guys "hey, pal, you're a highly compensated gym teacher. You don't have the Manhattan Project in your manila folder there."

[snuffbox 0]

Better than Gym Class Fallout.

[CanadianChris 0]

Travis Henry won his appeal of a positive test for marijuana. That's huge with Selvin Young injured.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Which Fathead should I go with?

 

[Guest My Pal, the Tortoise]

Rex is our quarterback, and speaking of, rumor from the Score's beat reporter is that he'll get a three-year, incentive-laden Rextension. Retarded. Come on, it's not like the Chicago Sun-Times can pressure the Bears into giving him an extension because it would be racist if they didn't!