This week in the NBA

[Ripper 0]

I am just excited about the second half of the year. Thats when the spurs start actually playing, I expect the Suns to kick it up a notch and work Shaq in, the Lakers of course, will New Orleans hold on or fade...

 

And will the Hawks fire that fucking moron that pretends to be a NBA coach. I know no one else gives a shit about that one, but I do. Goddamn annoying asshole, hindering Acie Laws emergence.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

I legitimately feel that the Spurs, Suns, Mavs, Lakers, Rockets, Jazz and Nuggets have a legit chance at winning the West this year. Hell, I might even throw the Hornets in there, too. Obviously some of those teams have a better chance than others, but this is the first time I can remember one conference being so wide open... and so deep.

 

The playoffs this year are going to be a treat.

[alfdogg 0]

I still think there's a chance Odom could be dealt. With Jason Kidd probably going to Dallas (I think the Devean George thing is just a temporary snag and they'll still find a way to do a deal), I don't know what kind of deal they would make, but when Bynum gets back it's going to be tough to keep all three of those guys happy, and Odom strikes me as the type of guy who could end up going Shawn Marion on the Lakers in the long run.

[Brett Favre 0]

I think he fits fine with them though cause he's so unselfish. I always got the sense that he's never really wanted to be the go to guy but the guy that distributes, rebounds, and gets his shots within the offense.

[UZI Suicide 0]

If I were the Lakers, I'd bench Lamar Odom when Trevor Ariza gets back. He's ace on defense and I think Odom could be a great sixth man.

[alfdogg 0]

Devean George's explanation was pretty good.

 

"I'm not being selfish, I'm just doing what's best for me!"

[Guest]

Kobe has a torn ligament in his finger, but he's had it since the New Jersey game, so it's no big deal. He should sit out six weeks, but he said that instead he'll get surgery after the Olympics.

 

Team USA ftw

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Lakers are screwed if Kobe has to miss 6 weeks..

 

aww

[Guest]

I don't know if you read what I said. I'll assume that you did. Kobe won't miss any time unless he breaks his whole hand.

[Precious Roy 0]

TEMPE, AZ—Claiming he was initially excited at the prospect of playing for a legitimate championship contender, new Phoenix Suns center Shaquille O'Neal admitted Monday that, upon reading about the phenomenon of massive stellar explosions popularly known as supernovas, he is now terrified of the entire organization.

 

"I have emerged from my astronomical studies a much more educated man, a learned man, and yes—a frightened man. I am now a sage of the supernova," O'Neal said during a combination press conference and PowerPoint presentation at an Arizona State University lecture hall. "If I would have known being a Sun meant being a part of a system where gravity could collapse, causing my radiant celestial body to explode in an event 10 times brighter than an ordinary Phoenix Sun—or worse, dematerialize into a neutron star or possibly a black hole—I would have never agreed to the trade."

 

"I have a family to think of," continued a visually tense O'Neal, who later stated that, because supernovas occur in our galaxy once every 40 to 50 years, the Suns, having joined the league in 1968, are "due for a big one."

 

While O'Neal said that simply being a part of the Suns' runaway-nuclear-fusion-reaction style of play would be frightening enough, he added that learning how an aging supergiant star typically ends its life cycle in a violent explosion was a profoundly terrifying experience. The 35-year-old center, who considers himself a super-giant star in the twilight of his career, has refused to go anywhere near his new teammates.

 

"Like Superman, I receive my energy from the Suns," O'Neal said. "I'm scared I will not be able to flourish in an environment where there is a risk that the Suns' supply of hydrogen could be exhausted, which would cause the core of the Suns to collapse into the center—in this case, me—and create a rise in temperature and pressure that would become great enough to ignite helium and then start a helium-to-carbon fusion cycle."

 

"Not even electron degeneracy pressure is enough to stop a supernova when that happens to a Sun," O'Neal added. "I don't even know what that means, and I am the Big Astronomer. But it scares me."

 

The former league MVP said he began reading about supernovas upon being informed by his 7-year-old son Shareef that the sun is actually a star, a fact that O'Neal said "intrigued [him] greatly." Upon further research, O'Neal was reportedly shocked by the possibility that carbon fusion could be ignited within the team's center, causing an explosion that could exceed over 100 billion Kelvins in temperature.

 

"I have been involved in many hotly contested battles in my playing career and have come out an even stronger warrior, but 100 billion Kelvins is a lot even for the Diesel," O'Neal said, showing the various media present a slide of the Crab Nebula, which he called a "frightening" example of what could be left of him after a supernova occurs. "If I were still in my 20s, maybe I could sustain a burst of energy more powerful than the sun could emit over a 10-billion-year time period. But Steve Nash has to understand that I have a bad hip."

 

O'Neal also added that he did not feel threatened by or feel any animosity toward Nash, who O'Neal believed would not have sufficient mass or power to become a supernova and who would instead cool slowly before degenerating into a white dwarf.

 

Though O'Neal has reportedly told Phoenix Suns coach Mike D'Antoni that he refuses to set foot on the U.S. Airways Center court until he is guaranteed that the arena will not collapse on itself at speeds of 70,000 kilometers per second, he informed Phoenix general manager Steve Kerr by telephone late Monday that if a supernova could not be avoided, he would consider playing with the team if he at least knew what type of stellar explosion he could expect.

 

"There are five types of supernovas," O'Neal said. "I told Steve that if I have to endure one of the five, I would prefer the Type 1c, which has weak or no helium lines and no strong silicon absorption features near 615†nanometers. The worst would be the Type 1b, which is characterized by non-ionized helium. I made it perfectly clear that, with all that I've done for this league, a neutrino-heavy Type 2L is simply unacceptable."

 

Early reports indicate that O'Neal was willing to compromise when he learned no other NBA team had any interest in the oft-injured athlete.

 

"I'm still the most dominant player in the game," O'Neal said. "I'm still a big star. But people must realize that, since I am as big as eight conventional stars, the risk of me going supernova is that much greater."

 

When asked if there were other teams that frightened O'Neal as much as the Suns, the 14-time All-Star said he would retire immediately if he were ever traded to the Utah Jazz.

[Steviekick 0]

Sigh...the Jazz never get any love...

[Guest Blue Man Czech]

Don't let cabbageboy read that article.

[alfdogg 0]

What's this, the Suns going deep into their bench? Sean Marks and D.J. Strawberry?

Edited February 15, 2008 by alfdogg

[alfdogg 0]

Way to hip-check a guy when he's not looking, Raja Bell, you fucking pussy.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

I don't know if you read what I said. I'll assume that you did. Kobe won't miss any time unless he breaks his whole hand.

 

you didnt read my post..I said "IF" he has to miss 6 weeks..as in..if he decided to have the surgery..or if it was worse..the lakers are screwed.

 

 

[Brett Favre 0]

New York Post -

According to Marc Berman of the New York Post, the Knicks and Nuggets may be discussing a multi player deal involving Zach Randolph.

 

According to the report, the players discussed in a potential deal included Linas Kleiza, Eduardo Najera, Steven Hunter and J.R. Smith for Randolph and another Knick.

 

I like this deal.

[Ripper 0]

What's this, the Suns going deep into their bench? Sean Marks and D.J. Strawberry?

 

 

DJ Strawberry has been getting playing time since the trade. Which I like. I think he has a rotation spot. Not so much for Marks.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

New York Post -

According to Marc Berman of the New York Post, the Knicks and Nuggets may be discussing a multi player deal involving Zach Randolph.

 

According to the report, the players discussed in a potential deal included Linas Kleiza, Eduardo Najera, Steven Hunter and J.R. Smith for Randolph and another Knick.

 

I like this deal.

 

The Nuggets shoot down a Ron Artest deal because they don't want to give up Kleiza, but they are willing to do so for Randolph and his ridiculous contract? I call bullshit.

[Brett Favre 0]

The GM for Denver worked for Portland and drafted Randolph (IIRC). He probably favors him a bit more.

[Golgo 13 0]

No. No. No. This had better be bullshit.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

So apparently the league might block the Kidd to the Mavs trade even if Devean George finally gives in and accepts the trade. If you remember, Jerry Stackhouse went running his mouth off about returning to Dallas once he is bought out by New Jersey. The league frowns on such action and would likely prohibit him from being included in any deal.

 

What a loser. Learn to keep your mouth shut.

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

Why would the Knicks give up on Randolph already? Didn't they JUST get him earlier in the offseason?

[alfdogg 0]

The way I read it was they'd still allow the trade, but just wouldn't let Stackhouse go back to Dallas. And then Cuban said he wouldn't do the trade if Stackhouse couldn't come back.

[Brett Favre 0]

Why would the Knicks give up on Randolph already? Didn't they JUST get him earlier in the offseason?

 

The Knicks suck a lot and have many holes to fill so it's time to start cutting some money and get young players here and there.

 

Stackhouse is an idiot. I guess they can still do the KVH sign and trade thing but I'm not sure if KVH is up for that.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

The way I read it was they'd still allow the trade, but just wouldn't let Stackhouse go back to Dallas. And then Cuban said he wouldn't do the trade if Stackhouse couldn't come back.

 

 

Well yeah, that's maybe what would happen. I thought it said that they wouldn't let him be included and that would be a deal-breaker for Cuban. I sort of oversimplified things in my post.

 

They could still solve both problems (George and Stack) by using Keith van Horn in a sign and trade, but they don't want to because it would give them an exhorbitant luxury tax bill.

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

Why would the Knicks give up on Randolph already? Didn't they JUST get him earlier in the offseason?

 

The Knicks suck a lot and have many holes to fill so it's time to start cutting some money and get young players here and there.

 

So basically the whole Knicks organization is run by morons? I mean yeah I knew that much, but Jesus, come on here!

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

Why would the Knicks give up on Randolph already? Didn't they JUST get him earlier in the offseason?

 

The Knicks suck a lot and have many holes to fill so it's time to start cutting some money and get young players here and there.

 

So basically the whole Knicks organization is run by morons? I mean yeah I knew that much, but Jesus, come on here!

 

I think they've realized that Randolph sucks unless he is touching the ball on every possession. He's like an offensive black hole. I didn't realize this when he was in Portland, but now that he's gone I can see how badly the offense would sputter when he was in the game.

 

Randolph can't play defense. They have two lazy fucks on the post who make way too much money and one of them has to go. Randolph probably has a little bit more trade value than Eddy Curry, so he'll be the first one they try to move.

[Brett Favre 0]

Why would the Knicks give up on Randolph already? Didn't they JUST get him earlier in the offseason?

 

The Knicks suck a lot and have many holes to fill so it's time to start cutting some money and get young players here and there.

 

So basically the whole Knicks organization is run by morons? I mean yeah I knew that much, but Jesus, come on here!

 

This would actually be a good move.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

Even if we label the wholeRandolph thing a disaster, they still got rid of Stevie Franchise in the process so it's a mild thumbs up.

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

There should be a penalty for these things though. If you make a mistake not too long ago, it shouldn't be that easy to get rid of. I mean they make a mistake in signing Randolph to that deal (btw now you guys see why I didn't want him in Chicago, although Chicago sucks now too), so they get rewarded for it by getting a buttload of people in return? Right.