Let Me Tell You Bout the Birds and the Bees

[Bruiser Chong 0]

I'm currently in a phase where I'm seeing most of my close friends either getting into serious relationships or taking existing relationships to the next level. My best friend will likely propose to his girlfriend of four years later this year; one close friend who's in the Air Force is trying to sustain a long-distance relationship with his woman, meaning they're together the few days he's home every so often; another friend got out of a long-time, live-in relationship, only to get into another relationship right away (the latter is partially responsible for the former), and yet another friend just moved in with his girlfriend, although his other friends and I aren't sure that was the wise move. And to top it off, my younger brother is getting married in August to a girl he's been involved with for less than a year.

 

So yeah, changes a plenty. I've got a pretty wide network of people I'd throw in the "close friends" category, so I haven't been hurting for extra curricular activities. It is weird, though, to see some of these changes taking place. Everyone mentioned here's between 22 and 24; not necessarily young, but hell, not old enough to be settling down? Right? Maybe I just missed the memo that informed us our life expectancies are once again in the mid-30s.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

It seems as though the bulk of my friends are beginning to settle down early as well. We're all early to mid 20's, the youngest being 20 and the oldest turned 24 a few months ago. Most of us either live with our girlfriends, are thinking about marriage, or are just flat-out single. It's weird. My theory is that due to the excessive partying of teenagers these days that more and more young adults are feeling older at younger ages (a common phrase is "I feel middle-aged and I'm only {insert age}" amongst my crew), so maybe that could be why people are seemingly settling down earlier. Beats me, though.

[Twisted Intestine 0]

Settling down earlier than who though?

 

My parents got married when they were like 20. And generations before that even earlier. It seems like our generation is just *expected* to not settle down until later for some reason, but really it's a normal age to settle down at. Maybe it has something to do with when we're teenagers thinking that we're not going to settle down until we're 30, but then once we get into our early 20s we realize that we want to.

 

Do I want to personally? If I met the right girl I would, but I'm not in any rush to either.

[Jorge Gorgeous 0]

I'm 23, I've got one married friend, and a couple that might as well be. Personally, I don't feel like I'm anywhere NEAR being ready to get married, but different people have different paths. Maybe it also has something to do with my parents being divorced.

[Mik 0]

Watch how fast a lot of those relationships disintegrate. I'm 26 and when I was in my early 20s I lived with my college girlfriend and I had a few friends in similar situations.

 

We're all single now at 26. Getting to the moved in stage doesn't mean life long wifey.

 

As for engagements/weddings and ages... there will always be people who get married early and those who don't. A lot of it has to do with social class. No idea about any of Bruiser's friends, brother, but a solider getting married early is pretty standard.

[Bruiser Chong 0]

Corey might be on to something with the burnt out partying. I know a lot of girls who went through this hardcore partying phase in high school and most of college and now, a laid-back relationship seems ideal.

 

I just can't fathom settling down with someone theoretically for the rest of my life at the age of 23. Maybe that's because I haven't found "the one" (though I don't buy into that whole theory at all), but I tend to get irritated after that "new car smell" has worn off of the relationship. I look at divorce rates and the general despair that seems to define a lot of the not-yet-terminated marriages I see and wonder how so many people can still find the concept of marriage so appealing.

 

There's also the factor that at this relatively young age, most people don't know what they want. I look at what I wanted at 21 and wonder what in the world was wrong with me. I'm of the mind that discovering what you truly want out of your career, romantic life, and life in general takes a lot of trial and error; trial and error most people in their early 20s haven't experienced.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Agreed on most points. It's weird seeing peoples Facebook pages updated with "Congrats to ____ and _____".

 

I think Corey hit the nail on the head about the partying. I wasn't really a hell-raiser during my teens but I wasn't a saint either and I now find myself in odd situations where I'm out a club or bar where I really start to feel my age and I'm only 24.

[Bruiser Chong 0]

Maybe Facebook's to blame in part, too. Not in the sense that more people are settling down because of Facebook, but because its existence makes me more privy to engagements, marriages, and the like. Once upon a time (read: three or four years ago), you found that stuff out second- or third-hand months later if you weren't close to the person. Now I've got a continuous news feed to let me know that the broad I kind of new sophomore year of high school is getting hitched.

[At Home 0]

It seems as though the bulk of my friends are beginning to settle down early as well. We're all early to mid 20's, the youngest being 20 and the oldest turned 24 a few months ago. Most of us either live with our girlfriends, are thinking about marriage, or are just flat-out single. It's weird. My theory is that due to the excessive partying of teenagers these days that more and more young adults are feeling older at younger ages (a common phrase is "I feel middle-aged and I'm only {insert age}" amongst my crew), so maybe that could be why people are seemingly settling down earlier. Beats me, though.

 

But statistically, people are getting married later. It's that mentality of trying to make a living for yourself first before getting married, which ends up for a lot of people to be in their late 20s or 30s.

[Guest Teal-y Dan]

I have about five friends getting married, and they're all between 20 and 22, for whatever it's worth, 'bone.

[At Home 0]

In 2005, the median age for getting married (first marriage) was 27.0 for men. For women, it was 25.0 I think.

 

http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/GRTTa...p;-format=US-30

[The Niggardly King 0]

No reason to tie yourself down so early.

 

My best friend has been with his girlfriend for two years and he's 21. She treats him like a child and he has grown to hate her, well they hate each other... yet neither one can break up. They're going to get married in 4 months and probably end up with a few kids and still hate each other. Sucks when people don't think they can do better or they need someone just to have meaning in their life.

 

Oops, kind of on topic but off topic at the same time there... carry on.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

I'm 25, married, & happy! (& bald!)

[Mik 0]

No, KOAB, that's on topic. A lot of people I know trapped in bad relationships or that got married early... it's because they are so insecure they thought no one else would ever love them. It's nuts.

[Bruiser Chong 0]

Good point, Mik. For whatever reason, there are people who respond to being extremely loved in this context that they think they've found the one. I mentioned my thoughts on "the one" theory earlier, but I was like that a couple years back. Not that I'd found the one, but that I'd found someone who was more into me than I thought was humanly possible.

 

My brother's going through that right now, I think. The chick he's getting hitched to is my age and already excelling in law school. But I don't think they gel all that well and their relationship seems to be built more on infatuation than genuine compatibility.

[Epic Reine 0]

My best friend has been with his girlfriend for two years and he's 21. She treats him like a child and he has grown to hate her, well they hate each other... yet neither one can break up. They're going to get married in 4 months and probably end up with a few kids and still hate each other. Sucks when people don't think they can do better or they need someone just to have meaning in their life.

 

I have a friend who's exactly the same way. He's 22 and has been with the same girl from about 6 years and he gets so frustrated when he's around her and constantly talks about how much he hates her.

 

I really can't see myself settling down until my 30's but that's only because I'm not with anyone and have never been in a long term relationship so I haven't really experienced "love". If I meet the right person tomorrow, that can all change.

 

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

I'm basically married except for the paperwork. It's great.

[Red Baron 0]

Like Mr. Simmons.

[Jingus 0]

I see this kind of thing all the time. The majority of my friends have either gotten married or had kids over the past few years. What makes it more depressing is that I was sort of the old guy in the group, most of the others were a couple years younger than me.

 

Have I ever been in love enough to get married? Yeah, once. But that one just didn't work out, and I've never felt as deep or strong an emotional connection to any other woman since then. No way I'm getting married unless I'm really damn sure that I've found the right woman. (Years of my parents screaming at each other before they finally got divorced, and their subsequent rocky remarriages to other people, all probably has something to do with that.)

[Dobbs 3K 0]

I'm in my later 20's, and have been married for almost five years. Definitely no regrets. Most of our friends have gotten married in the last couple years, so that's been fine. The only annoying part is that we don't have kids, while a lot of our friends do now, and a lot of times it's hard to get together with people and do stuff when they have children.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

I'm more afraid of parenthood than death.

 

1. Parenthood

2. Old age with failing health and senility

3. Amputation

4. Paralysis

5. Death

 

That's not to say I'd rather be dead than have a child, but I find it less frightening.

[Guest georgia003]

how strange

[Nighthawk 0]

While I would obviously be unhappy about being paralyzed, oddly I don't find it particularly terrifying. Blindness would be the worst.

 

Also, I find the traditional concept of heaven to be infinitely more horrifying than hell. Hence the Murderface quote: "I'd rather die than go to heaven." Quite literally true.

 

 

I like some aspects of children. Ideally, I'd adopt one at around 6, then send them to boarding school at 11.

[Rendclaw 0]

Its funny to me, seeing all of these younger people get married as if its going to complete their lives somehow.

 

Relationships are something that is rarely that you getr right on the first try, but yes, its as if people think that they can;t do any better. The Devil you know, and all that mess.

 

I'm not immune to that. Up until recently I was settling for those who were not good for me until I met my current girl, who is living with me now. She showed me by her actions that under no circumstances should you ever settle for someone who is not good for you. That's insecurity on your part, because you don;t think you can do better.

 

Never settle for less than what you want in a person. That;s the best advice I can give you all. Never, EVER settle.

[Nighthawk 0]

What, you're old so now you can tell everyone how to live their lives? They have parents!

 

I'm just bustin' yer balls, though, carry on.

[Black Lushus 0]

I'm more afraid of parenthood than death.

 

That's not to say I'd rather be dead than have a child, but I find it less frightening.

 

You'd be amazed at how naturally it comes to you, though.

[Retard Girl 0]

Never settle for less than what you want in a person. That;s the best advice I can give you all. Never, EVER settle.

 

 

i'm a firm believer in this. i'm not going to 'go out' with someone who's less than ideal for me, for the sake of not being single. being single is the best though. and i know i just opened up a can of worms disguised as flamage, but oh well.

[Nighthawk 0]

Taiga is ugly and fat.

[Retard Girl 0]

fat, yes. ugly, no.

 

not that i'm some fucking beauty queen, but ugly? no.

[Nighthawk 0]

No, you're not. I think it's really funny the way everyone is so hard on you, so I contribute to it, but I don't think you're so bad. And I'd fuck you, but you know I have absolutely no standards when it comes to that, so that doesn't mean much.