Matt Young 0 Report post Posted May 4, 2008 Aww, his arm says he loves me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted May 4, 2008 I am nearly 26, I spent tonight with a 17 year old girl I've never meant plastered out of her mind dancing to crappy hip hop and looking up porn on my CPU. I commited like 5 penalities tonight. Alcohol and ass indeed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted May 4, 2008 I find my reactions to these exploits hard to nail down, Andy. I mean, you're an ugly motherfucker, but also charming as hell, so that's a wash, but the requirement of a shitload of pills for you to get it up is really the clincher here. I mean, if a girl is going to sit there while you chug Heath Ledger amounts of boner medication, that's pretty much tantamount to a free ride. That's like a crippled guy raping somebody. (Unless of course you're surreptitiously doing it all night, like "She said hi to me." *one pill*, "Let me buy her a drink." *two more* and so on... ) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Niggardly King 0 Report post Posted May 4, 2008 Nah, I think he's said he eats em like a big bag of M&Ms before. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinetic 0 Report post Posted May 4, 2008 Haha. I had a friend who was so fucked up on amphetamines that he needed boner medication to get it up. He called it Veeagra. And even that didn't work, because he drank like a fish. He told me, "Danny, man, it's liberating." But he spent more or less the entire time I knew him trying to get laid, despite the fact that it was well known throughout the town that he couldn't sustain an erection. I took my role as the working dick in this scenario pretty seriously. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted May 4, 2008 Nah, I think he's said he eats em like a big bag of M&Ms before. Fact. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted May 4, 2008 I've watched this Music video about 47 times in the past 4 days. I'm not sure why. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maztinho 0 Report post Posted May 10, 2008 I went to the Wal-Mart for the first time in months today, and there was a guy who worked there who looked like Bruiser a little. He was pushing carts in with the mechanical cart pusher thing. I saw him again on my way out and caught his name... Brody. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted May 10, 2008 Pictures please Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Tzar Lysergic Report post Posted May 14, 2008 Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hohoho yes. Cycloptic Cappin' is it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Desensitized Report post Posted May 14, 2008 I went to the Wal-Mart for the first time in months today, and there was a guy who worked there who looked like Bruiser a little. He was pushing carts in with the mechanical cart pusher thing. I saw him again on my way out and caught his name... Brody. Are you sure it wasn't CronoT/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted May 18, 2008 So tonight I drank heavily, took vicodin which I was not prescribed (stole it from a friend) and generaly set myself up for failure, but I was redeemed by one crazy old man... I went to the bar after 10 beers, a shot of lime vodka and a dose of tequila. Once at the bar a 50-60 year old man laid claim to me and told me what a great guy I was. He took my hand and kissed it roughly 30 times in the 45-60 min period I spent with him. My friends were down elsewhere laughing at my situation as this bat shit crazy drunk guy bought me drinks and kissed my hand and 1 or 2 times my cheeks. It was rather frightingning. He eventually got mad and told me to get away and he stormed off to a new bar, which it appeared he was refused service due to his bombed up state, Truly a unique evening....... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Tzar Lysergic Report post Posted May 21, 2008 Please tell me you wear that hat on a day to day basis. That hat, sir, is you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted May 22, 2008 only on my days at the yacht club Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 I have 3 weeks of vacation to use up by October. My fucking boss just denied me 10 days off. I guess asking to have a weekend off in summer after 7 years with the company is absurb thought process. Good ole Tuesdays and Wednesday off for me!!! WOO! Fuck....and I have had 5 * hemroids this past week. Painful as all HELL. At least I can tell the girls at work I'm menstrating again... Actually I'm pretty sure this is the face I've been making on the toliet: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted June 8, 2008 My boss today on why she rejected 10 days of my vacation request: "You asked for too many days off, so I gave you none off" *fuck* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sideburnious 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2008 A couple of days ago there was a drunk Eastern-European dude shouting for a particular brand of Vodka in my local supermarket. He looked like Brody. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted June 17, 2008 I had 2 work this weekend thusly I missed going with my best friend to madison for a "big gay weekend" Our buddy tim apparently tore his pants and underwear off while drunk driving - his boyfriend then was playing with Tim's cock while my straight buddy and his friend were in the back seat.... and then Tim tried ordering a grande meal at taco bell, but kept changing his mind on what 10 things to get. So he got the Taco bell lady mad, so he got out of the car and pissed on the drive thru window. Then some one in the car got mad at him , tossed a burrito all over his cock, it exploded, this lead to the boys chucking burritos and eventually eggs at cars on the highway. I am saddened I missed this debachery. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted June 20, 2008 I went out tonight and consumed mass quantities of alcohol. I have a poorly scribbbled number on a drink mat (shit I can't recall what the actual term is at this point.!) A uh.... coaster ...yeah that's it.... The coaster has a number of a guy who promises good times saturday night....... tonight was fun....I obtained a 5 $ bill by pulling it from a fat man's enormous belly button with my teeth, then some random chick gave me 10 $ "cause my friend is her boss" And then I tried to go to A bar w/ a chick who had 38 DD at least and asked me to go, but it was closed FUCK FUCK FUCK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted June 20, 2008 . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted June 20, 2008 So when I was like 10 or 11 (maybe slightly younger) me and my male cousin who was 9 or 10 used to frequently roleplay as my brother and his gf. I being obese would often play the woman do to having "breasts" We would then hide under covers and who ever played the "man" would rub and suckle the others breasts. His Grandma actually was helping him change shirts after one of our sessions and his nipple had a huge hickey on it. We blamed it on his little brother biting him. I think my sexual impotence of today is based on the fact that I'm a repressed bi-sexual. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2008 So as I was walking through lawn and garden today I noticed a tinfoil package shining in the sun. I picked it up and it read "Nicoderm Nicotine Gum" So since the foil was still sealed I placed it in my pocket and decided I shall try it later. Later came an hour or 2 later, as I peeled off the foil and placed this small white gum drop in my mouth I was expecting a minty burst, or a mediciney taste. What I got instead was actually something that tasted something akin to what I assume Joe Camel's Anus tastes like. I spit this foul concoction to the floor and desperately guzzled juice to try and wash this horrid flavor from my mouth. After the putrid taste left my toungue I asked myself why would the company make such a foul tasting gum to try and help people. I have 2 theories: 1} The cigerette company is paying nicoret to produce this nasty nugget of hell to make sure smokers can't stand to use it and retreat back to the world of smoking 2} The nicoret company is making it bitter to make sure that no one grows addicted to the addiction breaking gum. For if one were to become addicted to addiction breaking gum it may very well be way to ironic for my little mind to comprehend. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2008 Use the patch, dude, everybody knows that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2008 I don't even smoke Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nighthawk 0 Report post Posted June 21, 2008 Even if you did, I advocate cold turkey. I'm just saying that if presented with the choice of patch vs gum, you should never, ever choose gum. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted June 26, 2008 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BruteSquad_BRODY 0 Report post Posted June 26, 2008 More closeted Homo memories: When I was in 5-6th grade I convinced my best (only?) friend to have a "roleplay" date with me so he could practice how to feel up a girl. I offered to be the girl and demanded he fondle my breasts. He complied. He later told a kid at school and I had to do damage control. --- In addition to raping my uncle I've also felt up my busty cousin in her sleep (I was 22ish , she 18ish), and used to pinch the nipples of my 9 year old male cousin when I was like 12ish Help me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
