The Master of Side Dishes Tournament

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Picnic Basket Free for All

 

1. Cole slaw

vs

4. Corn on the Cob

 

2. Baked Beans

vs

3. Mac and Cheese

 

Bread Bracket

 

1. Cheddar Biscuits

vs

4. Cornbread

 

2. Garlic Bread

vs

3. Hush Puppies

 

Taters!

 

1. Fuckin' Baked Potato

vs.

4. Hash Browns

 

2. French Fries

vs.

3. Onion Rings (battle for fryer supremacy)

 

Greens and Grains

 

1. Asparagus

vs.

4. Couscous

 

2. White Rice

vs

3. Fried Okra

[NYU 0]

Picnic Bracket

Cole Slaw

Mac and Cheese

 

Bread Bracket

Cheddar Biscuits

Garlic Bread

 

Taters!

Hash Browns

French Fries

 

Greens and Grains

Asparagus

White Rice

[the max 0]

Picnic Basket

Cole Slaw

Mac and Cheese

 

Bread Bracket

Corn Bread

Garlic Bread

 

Taters!

Fuckin' Baked Potato

French Fries

 

Greens and Grains

Couscous

Fried Okra

[Copper Feel 0]

Corn on the cob

Baked beans

Cornbread

Garlic bread

Hash browns

Onion rings

Asparagus

White rice

[Maztinho 0]

Pic-a-nic Basket

 

4- Corn on the Cob (I hate Coleslaw, unless it's in an egg roll)

 

3- Mac and Cheese

 

Breads

 

1- Cheddar Biscuits

 

2- Garlic Bread

 

Taters!

 

1- Baked Fuckin' Potato

 

3- Onion Rings

 

Greens and Grains

 

1- Asparagus

 

3- FRIED OKRA!

[King Kamala 0]

Corn on The Cob- I've always hated cole slaw for some reason.

Mac and Cheese- One of my favorites. I love it in all of its incarnations. I've come around to baked beans a little bit but there was a time I hated them almost as much as I hate cole slaw.

 

Cheddar Biscuits- The bread bracket is easily the toughest. I love corn bread but Cheddar Biscuits are more versatile.

Garlic Bread- Again, I love Hush Puppies but there's almost nothing better than Garlic Bread fresh out of the oven.

 

Baked Potato- Another tough bracket. Hash Browns are awesome with all three meals but I'll take a baked potato with some bacon bits, sour cream, and butter. Plus you get two appetizers in one with the potato AND the skins.

French Fries-One of my all time favorites. I like onion rings but fries are like pizza, even bad ones are still pretty good.

 

Couscous-Never been an asparagus fan. Not a huge couscous fan but it's a good food to have every now and then.

White Rice- By default, can't say I've ever had fried okra.

 

 

[Nighthawk 0]

Corn on the Cob

 

Mac and Cheese

 

Cheddar Biscuits

 

Garlic Bread

 

Hash Browns

 

French Fries

 

Couscous

 

Fried Okra

 

 

 

No challenge on any of them... very easy round.

[CanadianChris 0]

Picnic Basket Free for All

 

4. Corn on the Cob

2. Baked Beans

 

Bread Bracket

 

1. Cheddar Biscuits

2. Garlic Bread

 

Taters!

 

1. Fuckin' Baked Potato

2. French Fries

 

Greens and Grains

 

4. Couscous (I guess, I don't much like either one)

2. White Rice

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

Picnic Basket Free for All

 

4. Corn on the Cob - This might wind up being my winner. Butter that shit up - this is summer.

3. Mac and Cheese - Perfect comfort side dish.

 

Bread Bracket

 

4. Cornbread

2. Garlic Bread - If cheese is added, could be the hands-down winner. Still an awesome side.

 

Taters!

 

4. Hash Browns

2. French Fries - The pizza analogy was correct - I love onion rings, but I've had some baaaaaaad onion rings. (A&W, for example). I have never had a bad french fry.

 

Greens and Grains

 

4. Couscous

3. Fried Okra

[CanadianChris 0]

I have never had a bad french fry.

Consider yourself lucky. The cafeteria at my last place of work switched from regular french fries to those "crispy" fries that are greasy as shit and oftentimes don't even seem like there's any potato in them. Not good times.

[King Kamala 0]

I've had the rare mediocre fry but the only truly awful fries I've had were Shaw's brand frozen fries. Then again Shaw's brand anything is bound to suck. Their soda sucks, their frozen pizza really sucks. Their cookies are ace though, almost makes up for all the crap they produce.

[jimmy no nose 0]

Picnic Basket Free for All

4. Corn on the Cob

3. Mac and Cheese

 

Bread Bracket

4. Cornbread

2. Garlic Bread

 

Taters!

1. Fuckin' Baked Potato

2. French Fries

 

Greens and Grains

1. Asparagus

2. White Rice

[Guest Vitamin X]

Picnic Basket Free for All

4. Corn on the Cob

2. Baked Beans

 

Bread Bracket

1. Cheddar Biscuits

2. Garlic Bread

 

Taters!

4. Hash Browns

2. French Fries

 

Greens and Grains

4. Couscous

2. White Rice

[Guest blame that goot.]

Corn on the Cob. Nothing beats a good corn on the cob along with some charcoal-grilled burgers. That's summer. Just so much great flavor. Coleslaw has mayonnaise. Lose.

 

I nominated Baked Beans, so I gotta vote for that. I love baked beans a bunch. Macaroni would've been my winner here, WHEN I WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD.

 

Cornbread. Good old cornbread. What the hell is a cheddar biscuit? I don't even like cheddar cheese.

 

Garlic Bread. Toooough one here, as neither is actively bad, but I'm not particularly fond of either one, either. Garlic bread leaves a bad taste in my mouth, as it were, because my aunt and uncle always have it at their children's birthday parties, along with mostaciolli. (These are full-blooded Poles, always serving Italian food. I don't get it.) Plus, I don't really care for the textural contrast of dry crunchy crust with soggy, buttery, oily, concave innards. Maybe I just need to find better garlic bread. Hush Puppies are good, but you just look at them and know you have no business eating them. I'll go garlic, because I like garlic.

 

Hash Browns. I like my potato to be shredded, cubed, shoestrung, chipped, or otherwise reduced. A big fuckin' tuber with sour cream and bacon bits stuffed in it is just too daunting.

 

Here's the tough one. Fries and rings. They both possess wide spectra of deliciousness: either can be amazing when done well, awful when done poorly. My favorites in each are Hardee's curly fries (getting harder to procure) and an onion loaf from Hackney's. However, even the worst onion rings still have a motherfuckin' onion in 'em, and I looooove me an onion. Bad French fries are tasteless, thick, crinkle-cut, lukewarm, and overwhelmingly starchy (Hi there, Culver's!). the winner is ONION RINGS.

 

Couscous doesn't make my piss stink.

 

White Rice is unoffensive. I've never had okra.

[Guest Vitamin X]

That's a cheddar biscuit. I love cornbread, but it doesn't compare. Cornbread is a reliable old staple perfectly acceptable side dish- cheddar biscuits, now cheddar biscuits are made for a fuckin' occasion. Ever been to Red Lobster and had that stuff brought to your table that you can't stop eating because they're so good? Cheddar biscuits.

[Guest blame that goot.]

I've never been to a Red Lobster in the first place.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Picnic Basket Free for All

 

1. Cole slaw. You corn fags can all eat a dick. Slaw is sweet, crunchy, bright, delicious, refreshing greatness aside all the heavy barbecues and roast fatty animals that I associate with the warm months.

 

3. Mac and Cheese. I don't really care for baked beans. Almost anything else in the tourney would've won here.

 

Bread Bracket

 

4. Cornbread. I associate cheddar biscuits with a family dining environment. Cornbread has soul.

 

3. Hush Puppies. Fried dough always wins.

 

Taters!

 

4. Hash Browns. Tough call, but I have to go against the grain here. When I think hash browns, I think of delicious skillet potatoes done in bacon renderings. Crispy at the edges, but still full of happy potato love. Baked potatoes just seem like too big a production for a starch.

 

2. French Fries. Now, I love me some onion rings, but I rarely order them! Fries are just too ubiquitous and familiar to deny here.

 

Greens and Grains

 

4. Couscous. One of my favorites! Asparagus is a fine vegetable, but comfort food always wins in my book.

 

3. Fried Okra. Not enough oomph to a side of white rice.

[Nighthawk 0]

Now, when I was a young man, my father tried to give me some cole slaw, and I said "No, I don't want it." and he said "Oh, c'mon, you'll like it." and made me eat it. And I violently vomited all over everything. And that's my first - and only - experience with cole slaw.

 

And that's why I'll never eat it, much less vote for it.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Dude, it's raw cabbage and dressing. It's like salad, just chopped up really fine.

[treble 0]

Cole slaw

Baked Beans

 

Cheddar Biscuits

Garlic Bread

 

Fuckin' Baked Potato

French Fries

 

Couscous

White Rice

[Maztinho 0]

Dude, it's raw cabbage and dressing. It's like salad, just chopped up really fine.

 

LIES!

 

I've never liked Cole Slaw, and because it's my nature, I keep trying it. I think it's whatever constitutes "Coleslaw Dressing" that I don't like. I like cabbage, but when I eat Cole Slaw I take at most 2 bites and I'm done.

 

RE: Cheddar Biscuits

 

Imagine a biscuit, not imagine cheese distributed through said biscuit. HELL YEAH! Also let my vote reflect my love of cheddar is greater than my love of Cornbread, but Cornbread is freakin' awesome.

[treble 0]

I really like coleslaw, but I can't stand when people try to get 'fancy' with it. Throwing raisins and nuts in there doesn't make it any better. My aunt is guilty of this, which is too bad, because her's might be the best coleslaw I've had.

[MFer 0]

Picnic Basket Free for All

 

1. Cole slaw (hate this except for this shit in Chicago I got one time)

vs

4. Corn on the Cob

 

2. Baked Beans

vs

3. Mac and Cheese

 

Bread Bracket

 

1. Cheddar Biscuits

vs

4. Cornbread (tough call)

 

2. Garlic Bread

vs

3. Hush Puppies

 

Taters!

 

1. Fuckin' Baked Potato (another tough call)

vs.

4. Hash Browns

 

2. French Fries

vs.

3. Onion Rings (battle for fryer supremacy)

 

Greens and Grains

 

1. Asparagus

vs.

4. Couscous (WTF?)

 

2. White Rice

vs

3. Fried Okra (haven't had enough of this to make a judgement)

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

It had no bearing on my first-round vote against it, but is there a more phallic food in the world than asparagus? This certainly shouldn't be put into a tournament (well, maybe in Graphic Testing), but I can think of four of five contenders off the top of my head.

[Maztinho 0]

It had no bearing on my first-round vote against it, but is there a more phallic food in the world than asparagus? This certainly shouldn't be put into a tournament (well, maybe in Graphic Testing), but I can think of four of five contenders off the top of my head.

 

Mushrooms say hello.

[EricMM 0]

4. Corn on the Cob

 

3. Mac and Cheese

 

Bread Bracket

 

4. Cornbread

 

2. Garlic Bread

 

Taters!

 

1. Fuckin' Baked Potato

 

3. Onion Rings (battle for fryer supremacy)

 

Greens and Grains

 

1. Asparagus

 

2. White Rice

 

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Corn on the cob

Baked beans

 

Cheddar biscuits

Garlic bread

 

Baked potato

French fries

 

Couscous

White rice

 

 

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Picnic Basket Free for All

 

1. Cole slaw

3. Mac and Cheese

 

Bread Bracket

 

4. Cornbread

3. Hush Puppies

 

Taters!

 

1. Baked Potato

3. Onion Rings

 

Greens and Grains

 

4. Couscous

3. Fried Okra

 

 

[NYU 0]

I just don't understand the love for corn-on-the-cob. It takes too much effort to eat, always gets stuck in your teeth, isn't a filling side dish whatsoever....and maybe it's my taste buds, but I just don't think it tastes all that great.

 

And how anybody could vote for baked beans over macaroni and cheese is beyond me as well, but I'll save that for another post.

[PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! 0]

Picnic Basket Free for All

4. Corn on the Cob

3. Mac and Cheese

 

Bread Bracket

1. Cheddar Biscuits

2. Garlic Bread

 

Taters!

1. Fuckin' Baked Potato

2. French Fries

 

Greens and Grains

1. Asparagus

2. White Rice