Stupid, embarrassing shit you did as a kid

[King Kamala 0]

When we were kids, me and my brothers used to ride down the stairways in sleeping bags. For some inexplicable reason, our dad let us do this for a while but Mom put an end to it once my younger brother got hurt during one of our poor man's luge races.

 

I also ate ants as a kid in an attempt to imitate a bat (In particular Batly from Eureeka's Castle but reading up on the show having not seen it in a good twelve years, it seemed like he kept them as pets rather than ate them). I would also run into walls while flapping my arms wildly on purpose as part of that imitation.

 

During our playground battle royals (a bunch of us'd stand on this platform thingy on the playground and throw each other off), I always purposefully went after the kid that was a foot taller and a good one hundred pounds heavier than me in an attempt to be the valiant, Hoganesque babyface of our elementary school battle royals. This usually resulted in me getting chucked first.

[Gary Floyd 0]

I once got in a fight with a QB.

 

Once drank a cup of my own piss.

[Guest Vitamin X]

I moved around a lot as a kid, so every time I went to a new school I didn't know a whole lot of people, so most of the fun I had was at home by myself. I used to set up little businesses as a kid, like a fake restaurant under the stairs and every time people would come down I would try to serve them with my limited menu (peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were a house specialty). I had various other "businesses" as well, which all worked out nicely since my parents gave me extra allowance money in a way for paying for services.

 

Aside from that, a friend and I in elementary school were OBSESSED with dinosaurs and Jurassic Park so at lunch/recess we used to run around as raptors and attack people. It was funny because shortly after I moved to the suburbs and the atmosphere completely changed- in 5th grade in the burbs, no one was into dinosaurs or watching Disney or any of that, as it was all "little kid stuff" so 10 year olds there were skipping ahead 5-7 years and watching MTV and going to concerts and crap like that, basically trying to be "cool." My raptor attacking did not go over so well here, but I did make friends with someone (who's still my best friend) and we were both really obsessed with history so when we went to the pool, we would start wars and stuff. My favorite bit was when I was the Japanese in WWII and I'd kamikaze him and other scared children at the pool.

 

After that, I just got into fights. Lots and lots of them. Which probably led me to watching wrestling. So take that PTC- my violent behavior PRECEDED my interest in wrestling.

[Copper Feel 0]

When we were kids, me and my brothers used to ride down the stairways in sleeping bags.

 

I did this, and Czech's backyard wrestling thing. I spent most of my time as a child obsessed with charging into some kind of ancient battle, usually against my brother. I would have claimed to have been myself, but really I was pretending to be Robin Hood.

 

At a certain age I was the playground bully, and would routinely beat other children up. I'm glad that I grew out of that before I became a chav.

[The Niggardly King 0]

I once got really bad diarrhea and end up spraying the whole floor around the toilet and tried to hide it under the bath rugs.

[daileyxplanet 0]

I broke my shoulder in first grade by elbow dropping the playground at school.

 

I tweaked my knee by trying to halt a DDT like you do to a vertical suplex.

[Shooter in a Wedding Dress 0]

I picked a daisy for a girl I liked in kindergarden, and in class we were all sitting in a circle when the teacher yelled at me and my friend for talking. He was trying to get me to give it to her then, and I was too shy, so the teacher demanded to know what we were talking about, and my friend spilled the beans. The teacher thought it was cute and said I could give it to her. The girl didn't want it, so the teacher, trying to make me feel better, said she would accept it.

 

I was crushed, and forever known as the kid that banged his teacher in kindergarden. Mostly because I did.

[garfieldsnose 0]

I once got really bad diarrhea and end up spraying the whole floor around the toilet and tried to hide it under the bath rugs.

 

 

I once got diarrhea at my friend's house in 4th grade. We had just come home from McDonald's and I was in his kitchen while he and his mom went to do something, and his sister was sitting at the table. I couldn't hold it in as it ran down my leg for a good 50 seconds. The sister put her hands over her eyes and my friend came back and was like uhm, you gotta go to the bathroom? My mom wound up coming to get me and carried me to the car. I felt fine afterwards. I still have the pair of underwear he let me borrow. I don't think McDonald's was to blame, as I still have it every now and then.

 

Also, during a block party when I was 10, some tin foil dropped on the ground and my neighbor asked me to pick it up, and I told her to pick it up herself thinking it was some kind of compliment. I was banished from the party and I cried.

 

When I moved here in first grade I tried too hard to make friends. During recess, some kid left his jacket behind near the fence, and a puddle was right beside it. I went to grab it for him and then told him to come and get it and dropped it in the puddle. I thought I was being funny. That was such an asshole thing to do.

 

Apparently also during first grade, I showed a girl my penis underneath the lunch table. I do not remember this, but everyone in my class always swore on it, even up to college. To tie in with this, we were doing a Christmas musical special that same time frame, and when I bent down for the big finish my pants split and everyone could hear it. I wasn't wearing underwear. Then when I got home I played with my penis in the other room when my mom was making dinner.

 

I told a girl in 3rd grade I was going to rape her, thinking it meant I was going to date her.

 

Not really something I did, but some guy was looking up bombs on a catalog in 7th grade in the library, and I went on the computer right after him and people thought I was the one who was looking up bombs.

 

 

 

[Thoth 0]

Drank soda through my nose in order to see how that would work.

 

Saw the movie Bean where he shaves his tongue with an electric razor, so I tried that too.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

 

I wish I had a copy of that photo without a stupid caption, but I got it from an old friend and he had already added the stupid caption. The kid behind me with the eyes closed was a good friend. He once got me to cry over a game of 4 square. We subsequently took French together in middle school and routinely had to stay after school. The teacher would make us write letters to her explaining our poor behavior in class, and we would write the most overly-written sarcastic letters we could, and she either didn't care or didn't catch on. That was kind of fun.

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

In pre-school I once shoved a kid so the back of his head hit a wall. I did this because he was talking with 'my girl' (which seems like an odd thing to do at 4 years old, but I remember it being a very random act of violence after seeing him chatting with a girl named Lacy that I always talked to - the fact he was black had nothing to do with it all, I'm sure of that). I then apologized and we were all friends again the next day. I did other asshole things in pre-school too, but the only thing I really remember was kicking a beanbag or some toy over a fence when someone else was using it. There were apparently a lot of days I had to be put into another class to calm down.

[JaMarcus Russell's #1 Caucasian Fan 0]

When I was a sophomore in high school, I helped hazed the freshman on the football team by having them close their eyes and doing a sit-up in the middle of my asshole. Good team building.

 

Lit my sisters hair on fire once.

 

Was almost expelled from elementary school for putting bunny ears on my fifth grade teacher.

 

[Fuzzy Dunlop 0]

I used to get all my stuffed animals and action figures and write "plays" for them and then act them out in front of all my relatives. Also, my sister and I had these two old wooden swords, possibly from Disney World or somewhere like that, and we used to have swordfights while listening to classical music.

 

One time I heard one of my friends say "suck my dick" to our mutual babysitter and this was followed up by me chewing on the head of a Dick Tracy doll for days at a time. I also had a Ninja Turtles headband that I used to carry with me and play with all the time, which is what eventually lead to the string from a broken lanyard (the one that facilitates all of my good thinking) that I mentioned in that other thread.

 

I also had one of those plastic inflatable portable mini swimming pools when I was a kid, and on nice days I'd fill it up and swim around in the front yard. One time I walked over to my friend's house to see if he'd like to swim with me, but then when I got there I found out he was mad about something, I don't remember what, and he started chasing me. When I got back to my house, instead of just running inside, I decided to a dramatic leap into the pool and then "hid" under the water. For some reason, this worked, because he didn't want to get wet.

 

When I was 5 years old, my parents bought me a Nintendo and Sesame Street learning game, as well as a bunch of other games, but the only one I ever wanted to play was Sesame Street. Also, for one of my birthdays my grandma bought me some books with pictures of animals, and I decided I didn't want to open any other presents, I just wanted to look at the books, and all my friends were just sitting there waiting.

 

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

When I was 5 years old, my parents bought me a Nintendo and Sesame Street learning game, as well as a bunch of other games, but the only one I ever wanted to play was Sesame Street. Also, for one of my birthdays my grandma bought me some books with pictures of animals, and I decided I didn't want to open any other presents, I just wanted to look at the books, and all my friends were just sitting there waiting.

 

This made me laugh pretty hard

 

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

The Dick Tracy bit got a good laugh out of me.

[Dobbs 3K 0]

When I would watch Thundercats as a kid, Panthro was my favorite character, and I would run around the house with a shoelace pretending I was twirling nunchuks like him.

 

Also, I once jumped off the top of the couch and sprained my ankle trying to emulate a double axehandle. Yep, I wasn't very athletic as a kid.

[King Kamala 0]

Does 14 count as being a kid? If so, I'll say the vast majority of my posts I made here during my first year qualify as "stupid, embarassing shit".

 

Oh and I used to make movies with my younger brother with our family's home video camera when I was 7 or so. The only one I remember though was a Saturday Night Fever ripoff (I had a weird fascination with '70s pop culture for a couple years) with myself in the Tony Manero role. For some reason, we roped my older brother into dressing in drag to play the zany comic relief role.

[haws bah gawd 0]

Went running through my elementary school lunch room after it had been mopped, slipped, and slighty cracked my left elbow, but nothing TOO serious. I was just told to keep my arm bent, in a sling, and to not use it for about a month. Well, two weeks later, my stupid ass decided to play a little too rough in the front yard. I ended up falling in a fairly small ditch next to the road in front of my house, and actually broke my elbow this time. It ended up being a pretty severe injury, and the muscles in my left arm are significantly smaller and weaker than the ones in my right arm, to this day.

[... 0]

Was he okay?

 

Oh yeah, he lived. Much of our childhood was inflicting brain damage on ourselves and it neverTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

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