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Kinetic

Wild Card Weekend

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Predictions for the games this weekend:

 

Colts 28, Chargers 24. Same score as last year, but different actual result. Does anyone realize the sheer folly that could occur if the Chargers somehow get to the AFC title game and play the Ravens? Yes, a crappy 8-8 team could have home field in the AFC title game. Nip this in the bud, Peyton.

 

Ravens 35, Dolphins 21. I haven't bought the Dolphins at all this year, but at least they served a purpose of keeping NE out of the playoffs. Ravens will stomp them now however, much like they did earlier in the season.

 

Falcons 35, Cardinals 31. ATL just barely beat the Rams so this is no sure bet. AZ can put up points at home if nothing else. Still, the Falcons need to win this because the Cardinals have zero chance after this game.

 

Eagles 21, Vikings 20. I don't think the Eagles will get to the Super Bowl, since they aren't much of a road team (unlike the Giants last year who were 7-1 on the road). That said they will figure out some way to scrape by here.

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Wait a minute, what's the scenario where I eat my shoe? I've made like five different statements like that this season. I'm sucking my own dick in one, Czech's peeing on me in another...I'm sure there's more.

 

Wait no, it wasn't eating your shoe. I don't know where I got that from. It was sucking your own dick and taking pictures. In this thread.

 

If the Tennessee Titans make the superbowl, I'll suck my own dick and take pictures.

 

Thankfully he didn't say he would post them on the internet.

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Ravens over Dolphins -- The Ravens are definitely good enough to beat the Dolphins. They're 0-5 against teams with a better record than them this season, though, and have shown a disturbing trend of not being able to close out games against good teams. I expect that trend to continue against Tennessee. Still, they'll beat a team they should beat this week.

 

Colts over Chargers -- Hopefully the Colts' win in San Diego put an end to the whole "Chargers have their number" thing. This will be sweet payback for the playoff game in Indy last year. The Chargers just don't have a good enough defence to stop the Colts, and if Bob Sanders is healthy, the Colts can definitely stop the Chargers. Right now, Indianapolis is my pick to represent the AFC in Tampa.

 

Falcons over Cardinals -- Atlanta has to come falling back to earth sometime, right? Maybe, but this isn't the week. I wouldn't be surprised to see Michael Turner rip off over 200 yards against the worst defence in the playoffs. The Cardinals should have had to forfeit their spot with how they've played since clinching; they're clearly unfit to play anyone outside the NFC West.

 

Vikings over Eagles -- I, for one, don't think the road teams will sweep the weekend, and this seems as good a spot for the home team as any. The Vikings may have the best home-field advantage of any of the playoff teams, and Andy Reid vs. Brad Childress isn't nearly the coaching mismatch it should be when you consider Reid has been to four NFC title games. I don't trust Tarvaris Jackson at all, but he has played better since retaking his starting job, and the Vikings have the best player on either team in Adrian Peterson, so I'm going with Minnesota.

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Michael Turner has the best rushing average in the NFL when running to the left side of the field... guess which defense gives up the most rushing yards on the left side?

 

Falcons 45 Cardinals 17

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I was listening to ESPN Radio this morning, and one of the guys (forget his name) predicted a San Diego-Arizona Super Bowl. I'd really like some of whatever shit that guy's on.

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Hey, how about a Falcons/Ravens Super Bowl... two first year coaches with rookie QBs going head to head. One of the top 5 defenses vs the #2 running back in the league... the hype would be insane, but I'd be afraid that most of the story would revolve around Michael Vick.

 

Well, that has no chance of happening, so go Chargers.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I still think Tennessee doesn't have a prayer to make the Superbowl, but if they do, I will have a very tough time sucking my own dick. I just tried to reach, and wasn't even close.

 

I'll do something really fucked up, though, rest assured.

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Am I only one that does want to see Colts-Giants?

 

I think it would be ok from a "just what happens during the 60 minutes of the actual game" but I think I would go crazy having to put up with Manning vs Manning crap for 2 weeks.

 

 

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We all survived "the Pursuit of Perfection" and the world of accompanying bullshit and douchebaggery last year with our ability to enjoy football still intact, so I'm sure we could deal with "Manning vs. Manning." Seems like it would be a pretty good game, so I wouldn't mind that being the SB matchup at all.

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Am I only one that does want to see Colts-Giants?

 

That's my ideal pairing this year. I don't mind Peyton and would rather lose to him than any other team if my squad makes it back to the SB.

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My feelings about AwShucks have been well documented, but if we get the all-Manning bowl, I'm rooting for him all the way. Fuck New York.

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I'd actually love a Colts/NYG SuperBowl, because while everyone else will be suffering through the constant Manning vs. Manning hype, I'll be listening to Boers and Bernstein ripping apart the constant Manning vs. Manning hype as only they can.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

There isn't a possible matchup that really disgusts me or anything. The Packers, Pats, and Cowboys aren't involved. Were the Colts not in there, I could watch the entire playoffs without a rooting interest, which would be interesting in and of itself.

 

 

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Guest Czecherbear

The Cardinals still haven't sold out their game for Saturday, so the NFL gave them an extra day to avoid being blacked out. I guess that's what happens the league's two most infamous on-the-road-at-home teams match up. Cardinal Fever: catch it!

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Guest Vitamin X

Here's a pretty funny quote from Bill Simmons regarding the Minnesota/Philly game..

 

** Philly's Andy Reid will be battling former assistant Brad Childress on Sunday in a matchup Peter King described as "teacher vs. pupil." Teacher versus pupil???? That explains everything! Do you think Reid tutored Childress in classes like "Screwing Up a Two-Minute Drill," "Hanging Your QB Out to Dry," "Dumb and Possibly Damaging Field-Goal Attempts," "Idiotic Short-Yardage Calls," "Special Teams Collapses," "How To Blow Your Challenges," "Leaving Yourself With No Timeouts" and "How To Remain Calm As You're Getting Booed By Your Own Fans"?

 

Meanwhile, Ravens/Dolphins and that one are the only two I feel kind of unsure about. I'm thinking the Colts will probably beat the Chargers, fairly easily too. I know that Miami is a big underdog against Baltimore, but I have a feeling that Miami might pull it out for some reason.

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Guest Smues

Minnesota: Team with a playoff history and and has been to several superbowls. Playoff ticket prices: $30 to $160.

 

Arizona: Team that hasn't been to the playoffs in forever, hasn't hosted a playoff game in like 40 years. Perpetual joke of a franchise. Stumbled into the playoffs due to awful division. Playoff ticket prices: $50 to $420.

 

Minnesota having trouble selling tickets surprises me. Arizona's troubles do not.

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I'm very surprised at both.

 

The Metrodome absolutely exploded when the Vikes beat the Giants on that last second FG in week 17. Their fans seemed pretty pumped about making the playoffs to me.

 

Then you have Arizona, who have been the doormat of the league for several lifetimes. They might not make it back to the playoffs for several more.

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Guest Vitamin X
I'm very surprised at both.

 

The Metrodome absolutely exploded when the Vikes beat the Giants on that last second FG in week 17. Their fans seemed pretty pumped about making the playoffs to me.

 

Then you have Arizona, who have been the doormat of the league for several lifetimes. They might not make it back to the playoffs for several more.

 

Two theories:

 

1. Arizona fans don't give a shit because they know their team made it in by virtue of being an average team in an awful division

 

2. Ditto Minnesota. Also, NFC North fans are so entangled in bitter rivalries against each other, we're just happy to win the division for the most part- doing something in the playoffs is something I don't think any Chicago, Minnesota, or Green Bay fan was planning much on this season.

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