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Guest Felonies!

Sex, Drugs & The Lit Folder

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Guest Felonies!

Hey, I picked up Consider the Lobster. I like the lobster fest, sports autobiographies, 9/11 (I laughed at a 9/11 essay!) and the porn awards, but I was expecting the grammar essay to focus more on just lots of embarrassing gaffes, rather than a really pedantic debate about prescriptive vs. descriptive. The part where the black girl files a complaint because he told her to write her papers in Standard English was amusing, though, but I guess that first page of gaffes in 5-point type got me excited for a lot of grammatical pointing and snickering, and I was let down. I've been kind of skipping around essay to essay, as I'd rather get the good stuff out of the way first before slogging through the book reviews, which don't seem nearly as compelling as the Supposedly Fun Thing. . .-style pieces where magazines send him on ridiculous assignments.

 

Oh, I also bought Chuck Klosterman's Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, a collection of pop culture essays. Ugh. He writes vaguely like Wallace--footnotes and abbrevs. galore--but doesn't seem to be the same kind of intellectual heavyweight, because instead of writing about prescriptive grammar, he's writing about John Cusack. Now I basically knew what I was getting into here, i.e. lots of 80s pop culture overanalysis by some Gen-X guy in black plastic glasses who probably hangs around his old college town too much, but I didn't know it would get this bad. The leadoff essay about how John Cusack = the new Woody Allen was good, and I indulged the superficial symbolism of Lakers-Celtics, but after that, everything--and I mean EVERYTHING--is "a postmodern representation of life itself." Pamela Anderson is a postmodern representation of sexuality. The Real World is a postmodern encapsulation of the 90s zeitgeist. The Sims is a postmodern approach to existence. To summarize: postmodern postmodern postmodern postmodern postmodern. That's the fucking book. Even Saved By The fucking Bell is some postmodern representation, because when Kelly and Jessie disappeared because Mmes. Berkley and Theissen were in contract disputes and replaced by Tori, it was just like how in life, our friends drift in and out, but always come back. Jesus. There's an especially tiresome piece on Billy Joel that goes "Billy Joel is cool. But Billy Joel is not cool. Billy Joel is cool because he is not cool, but he's not cool in the way that people are cool because they're so uncool that they're cool. Billy Joel is cool because he's great, but he's not great because he's great, he's great because he's cool." Shut up. I don't even like Billy Joel. Anyway, the book is funny during the handful of times that it clicks, but most of it is self-aggrandizing blather, an oversaturation of references (even for a pop culture book!) just to show how high his cultural literacy is. Sometimes, I like to read about pop culture, because depending on the time frame, I can relate, but when you get into this ridiculous level of analysis, it's just a chore to read. These would make great conversations with, like, Kotz, if we were high, but for me to sit in my cool 1960s Swedish chair (postmodern chair?) and just read page after page of this? Sober? Waste of time. No recommendation.

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Halfway through Killing Yourself to Live. I generally hate repeated pop culture namedropping and this book isn't proving to be an exception. Chuck Klosterman is also smug and condescending; we'd probably get along were we to ever meet, but I'd tell him that, honestly, I'd rather not read one of his books again.

 

The upside to all this is that this book is an incredibly quick read and can be finished in a free afternoon.

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Guest Felonies!

Is that the one where he's on a road trip? I read some of that, and wanted to smack him around for trying to say that Kid A was a soundtrack to the World Trade Center being hit. It was seriously like, "when Thom says 'everyone around here' in The National Anthem, it represents how everyone really is around here." Oh, and quick read indeed. I probably got through two-thirds of it in the store.

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Oh, that was the worst part. He's also fond of adverbs, to the point of annoyance. He says "profoundly" a lot. I briefly considered going back to the beginning and counting each time "profoundly"—or any other adverb—appears, but decided against it.

 

I'd read a handful of his essays in the past. I didn't feel like reading a whole book of him, but then I felt I wasn't doing my part as a good white, college-educated, music-obsessed twenty-something—i.e. a great number of my friends—by not reading him. Now I know.

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Guest Felonies!
Oh, that was the worst part. He's also fond of adverbs, to the point of annoyance. He says "profoundly" a lot. I briefly considered going back to the beginning and counting each time "profoundly"—or any other adverb—appears, but decided against it.

"Sublimely" too. You've inspired me to do a "postmodern" count for Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. I slept from 1 to 7 today, I'm not sleeping any time soon. Why not.

 

I'd read a handful of his essays in the past. I didn't feel like reading a whole book of him, but then I felt I wasn't doing my part as a white, college-educated, music-obsessed twenty-something—i.e. a great number of my friends—by not reading him. Now I know.

Like I said in my SD&CP review, there are a few good essays. The Lakers-Celtics thing is fun because in all likelihood, there's probably some truth in the whole thing about who liked which team in the 1980s, whereas most of his blathering about The Real World is just what you write when you're high.

 

Other horrible parts of KYTL include talking about getting high and sleeping with girls he used to know.

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Guest Vitamin X

Oh, that was the worst part. He's also fond of adverbs, to the point of annoyance. He says "profoundly" a lot. I briefly considered going back to the beginning and counting each time "profoundly"—or any other adverb—appears, but decided against it.

"Sublimely" too. You've inspired me to do a "postmodern" count for Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. I slept from 1 to 7 today, I'm not sleeping any time soon. Why not.

 

You know, there's got to be more interesting things to do despite the sleep schedule.

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My second least favorite passage is when he's imagining the conversation between him and the three ex-girlfriends. It's a transparent attempt to dump a lot of exposition into just a few pages, while being self-referential.

 

But there's the magic phrase. Klosterman has one of the girls criticize him for using such a phony device for so self-serving a purpose and still not being able to do a good job of it. She—Klosterman, that is—accuses him of failing to give each of the girlfriends their own voice, having them speak as Klosterman himself speaks. She/he is right, of course, but I hate this whole notion that doing so is okay, as long as you admit right there in the text that what you're doing isn't very good.

 

You're right, Chuck, it isn't very good. Maybe you shouldn't have written it.

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Guest Felonies!

How many girlfriends can this guy have had? Being around him must be like being around me, except I don't have such a ridiculous dye job.

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If what I've read so far is any indication, not that many. He's what, 29 when the book takes place? He's only mentioned four or five women. That's not a lot. There's a part in here where he mentions not losing his virgnity till he was 19, so it wasn't like he was some Casanova when puberty set in.

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I've heard the Lakers/Celtics chapter read. I loved that dearly and laughed plenty of times, but the rest of his stuff isn't as good.

 

Just ordered Gravity's Rainbow and Love in the Time of Cholera. Figured I'd go through professed favorite books floating around this thread after I finish up some J.M. Coetzee. Maybe I'll read a Mick Foley book next!

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Guest Soriano's Torn Quad

And the Klosterman discussion begins anew.

 

I read Fargo Rock City, Killing Yourself To Live, and Chuck Klosterman IV over three Tuesdays spent at Borders, one book per day. There were a few good passages, but a lot of it was stuff I couldn't relate to (being obsessed with Poison) or just bad prose (I finally read the multiple girlfriend thing, which Matt brought up before here, in KYTL, and it was as bad as advertised). There are a few good essays in Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, but I'm starting to feel like maybe he's more of a springboard into more accomplished writers, like Pink Floyd is to prog.

 

EDIT OF HONESTY: now-corrected typo was "as bad as advertising," which made me smile for a moment before rushing to fix the error.

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I polished off the works of Chuck Klosterman over the holidays and most of Watchmen as well. I agree with the general sentiment regarding Klosterman, but as a fan of hair metal and dated pop culture references, I thoroughly enjoy his stuff. Not something I would necessarily recommend to anyone, but a good way to kill a couple hours (I read IV, Sex, Drugs.., and Killing Yourself... over a two day stretch).

 

As for Watchmen, I don't think it's my cup of tea. I didn't really enjoy Dark Knight Returns either, so maybe the graphic novel medium isn't my bag.

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Guest Czech please!

Messrs. Durst and Klosterman both have worthless opinions about music, so I guess they cancel one another out.

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Messrs. Durst and Klosterman both have worthless opinions about music, so I guess they cancel one another out.

 

Klosterman is pretty funny though. I know everyone on this board hates him, (except for Kamala? I think Kamala likes him too) but he's at least good for a chuckle.

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I like Klosterman, I only own Sex, Drugs, and Coco Puffs but I've heavily skimmed through his other stuff at book stores and friends' houses. I believe Cheech is a fan as well.

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I like Klosterman, I only own Sex, Drugs, and Coco Puffs but I've heavily skimmed through his other stuff at book stores and friends' houses. I believe Cheech is a fan as well.

Yes, I'm a big Klosterman fan. I get why guys like Czech don't like him though.

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Guest Czech please!

Moving my reply from that GNR thread kinda takes away what little punch it may have had. You didn't just have to find every post with the word "Klosterman" in it.

 

I haven't read anything of his since documenting my doing so here, by the way.

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He wrote a novel last year (Downtown Owl). The description of said book made it sound like a novelized version of his typical stories of heavy metal the midwest. I haven't had much of a desire to read it, but I am sure that I'll get around to it eventually.

 

Did he take a break from his writing duties at Esquire? I don't recall him having any articles the past couple of months, but I could very well be having a mental lapse.

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He hasn't had any articles on page 2 at ESPN.com in a while. I think the most recent was an excerpt from Downtown Owl which was entertaining, but I never got around to buying it.

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czech, why have you read so much of klosterman's stuff if you hate him so much?

 

i've probably already mentioned this somewhere, but i think nick hornby's 'songbook' is pretty much the ideal model for music criticism. he's good at inserting his personal experience into each piece without making the piece just about him. insightful without really being too "deep" and sincere without being heavy-handed. i love his "thunder road" piece.

 

on a similar note: does anybody else read film criticism for pleasure? some days i'll go into the library and crack open a pauline kael book. she did a 'raiders of the lost ark' review that's old and cranky in the most brilliant ways.

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Guest Czech please!
czech, why have you read so much of klosterman's stuff if you hate him so much?

I thought I'd find something in his other books that would make me like him again. There are a few parts of SD&CP that I liked, but I usually found him irritating. I haven't read Downtown Owl yet and probably won't. That July 2007 binge was enough for me.

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In that brief instant between reading this topic's title and then reading Klosterman's name in the description, did anyone else think this was gonna be a Hunter S. Thompson thread?

 

on a similar note: does anybody else read film criticism for pleasure? some days i'll go into the library and crack open a pauline kael book. she did a 'raiders of the lost ark' review that's old and cranky in the most brilliant ways.

I do that. My favorites are those two books Ebert put out with only negative reviews. When he hated hated hated a movie that really sucks, he's fairly vicious in a hilarious way.

 

But I've also got Kael's For Keeps, a phonebook-sized collection of various reviews from across her 40-year career. I thought I complained a lot about movies. If you've never read her stuff, imagine Chris Coey as a film critic. Pauline seemed like she had higher standards than anyone else on the planet, and apparently she utterly despised about 80% of the movies she reviewed. And I don't mean the usual critical punching bags like Friday the 13th, Kael goes on the rampages where she disses everything from Raging Bull to The Little Mermaid. She was the only critic who actually had the balls to give Shoah a negative review, fer chrissake. But as godthedog implied, she does tend to ask questions and find nuances that nobody else can; she overanalyzes the movies so thoroughly that she drags up stuff I'm sure even the filmmakers never considered. So while I agree with her less than half the time, it can be fun to read a dissenting opinion which is stated in such a challenging manner.

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i breezed through a dozen of her single-paragraph reviews last night. good stuff, that.

 

i also breezed through about eighty pages of lester bangs's 'psychotic reactions and carborateur dung' this afternoon, and i feel drunk. i'm totally putting his 'fun house' review in my next syllabus (along with DFW's american usage dictionary review).

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