100 Posts of Solitude

[TheFranchise 0]

Very slow weekend. Going fishing with my old man in the morning, our first non-snooker activity in several years I think. Today I've been watching football & playing old PS2 games. Finances have gotten so bad that I can't afford any new PS3 games and therefore have busted out my old PS2 games.

 

It reminded me why I bought a PS3.

[YourKock'sReallyGreat 0]

I saw Marvin on tv this weekend. This girl was on MTV True Life I am going bald. She has the same disorder as Marvin where her hair falls out. She went to a support meeting and every guy in the room looked just like Marvin.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

...............................

 

59. I promised two drafts and one more tournament. Since I do exactly what I say I'm going to do, here is the first draft. It's in the spirit of a typical draft that you'd see the the Draft folder.

 

The hypothetical scenario is that the U.S. gets into such economic trouble that it has to sell itself off, state by state, to 10 rich countries. In their selections, they generally look for the best combination of economy, population, and space. But, it wouldn't be as fun without a few drafters who "play by their own rules."

 

 

* Russia is the Al Davis of the draft. Instead of drafting by the stopwatch, they draft by the ruler—making land grabs.

* Switzerland treats the "uncool" states like "dogshit." The states have to be "cool" to be drafted by them. (OMG allegory?)

* The Dutch draft only liberal states.

* Somalia picks MN and OH because they have the highest Somali populations. Next, they pick IA and KS because they need food. Finally, they get the worst state imposed on them by the other nations.

[Retard Girl 0]

i approve of the "picking apart people's post line by line in seperate quote boxes" technique. shows who's serious about their internet business.

[TheFranchise 0]

This is serious business.

[Dandy 0]

Springtime for Matt Young and TSM.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

60. Don't you think that "The Trial of Xavier Cromartie" would potentially be a fun thread? On the defense side would be myself and my lawyer(s) like Cheech. On the prosecution side would be 909 and whoever else doesn't like me (Twisted Intestine, Giuseppe Zangara, NYU, etc.). Czech could be the judge if he's not just passing the buck to "people who are higher in the board's chain of command." The 12 jurors would have to be reasonable posters, like Crimson G, Edwin, bob_barron, Sandusky, Dandy, Franchise, etc.

 

The best part would be surprise witnesses (each more surprising than the last, of course).

 

I call to the stand... Carnival!

I call to the stand... Hotbutter Spoontoaster!!

I call to the stand... Cancer Marney!!!

 

There would be opening and closing arguments. How the testimony would generally work is that, first, one side would submit a number of questions. The other side could object, and Czech would have the power cut and reword them. Then, the poster/witness would answer them all. The side would get a followup post for more questions after hearing the answers. Czech would check them again, and the poster/witness would answer again. Then the other side would get their turn, using the same formula. Czech would be free to demand better questions and answers. It should feel pretty naturally for him.

 

I would likely be the final witness. "Have you ever engaged in account sharing?" "No." "Are you planning to do so?" "No." Good argument, fellas.

 

It would be more successful than Gang Warz II, at least.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

61. Well, there's not much to talk about around here, and so I'll respond to posts from the forums to which I'm transitioning.

 

Someone posted the Vegas over/under odds for victories in the NFL for the 2009 season. Let's take a look and comment. I'll bold the six picks that I'd bet on.

 

Patriots 12 - Over. The schedule looks difficult, but they're the best.

Steelers 11 - Over. Because I hate them.

Giants 10.5 - Over. Barely. The WRs should be good enough.

Chargers 10.5 - Over. My bro Antonio is healthy again.

Colts 10.5 - Over. They're the Colts.

Cowboys 9.5 - Under. *Collapsing building joke.*

Cardinals 9 - Over. The playoff run was the real Cardinals.

Eagles 9 - Under. This year's version of the Browns.

Packers 8.5 - Under. They're adjusting to the 3-4.

Saints 8.5 - Under. Tough schedule.

Ravens 8.5 - Over. Soft schedule.

Falcons 8 - Over. They're becoming the Colts of the NFC.

Vikings 8.5 - Over. It's this low only because of the potential DT suspensions.

Titans 8.5 - Over. Dash will be improved.

Panthers 8.5 - Over. Are they suddenly not awesome at rushing?

Bears 8 - Under. WAH BUTTHURT.

Redskins 8 - Under. They took Brian Orakpo-Gholston instead of a right tackle.

Dolphins 8 - Under. Back to reality.

Texans 8 - Over. Playoffs?!

Jets 8 - Under. They're starting Mark Sanchez.

Jaguars 8 - Under. But I like their draft picks.

Bills 7.5 - Under. They seem desperate.

Seahawks 7.5 - Under. Better than last season, but they're in denial about rebuilding.

Broncos 7.5 - Under. They have no d-line.

49ers 7 - Under. The division will be tougher.

Browns 6.5 - Under. Does Mangini like anyone on this team?

Buccaneers 6.5 - Under. Freeman should be good in 2010, though.

Chiefs 5.5 - Over. Potential playoff contender.

Bengals 5.5 - Over. Carson Palmer returns and they upgraded their o-line.

Raiders 5.5 - Under. They're lucky to have Nnamdi Asomugha.

Rams 5 - Over. They should be a credible team again this season.

Lions 5 - Under. They've done nothing significant to improve their defense.

[TheFranchise 0]

surprise witnesses (each more surprising than the last).

 

Win.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

62. On yesterday's PTI program, Mr. Michael Wilbon had a memorable quote:^[1]

 

Yao Ming had a major breakthrough. When he had that knee-on-knee injury with Kobe Bryant, and the trainer's walkin' him back, and Yao said, "No. I have got to play." And Bill Plaschke—my dear friend, our colleague, best, maybe the best columnist in the United States—he says—I mean let's just ironman, triathlete, you know Bill Plaschke—says, "Oh, Yao's a faker." Really? You know, the next time I go to L.A., I'm gonna take my keyboard and smash it on Plaschke's knee. Let's see if he can finish the column, ok, much less walk to his car afterward. The Rockets played great. Yao Ming led the way. And he'd be hittin' 9-1-1 if Kobe had gone down with the slightest injury last night.

Well, you NBA guys can discuss whether "Yao Ming had a major breakthrough." I don't follow the NBA that closely. (Nonetheless, I was 8 for 8 in first-round picks. I'll let you know if I win the Facebook bracket.)

 

Article 1: Whether Bill Plaschke is not the best columnist in the United States.

 

Objection 1. It seems that Bill Plaschke is the best columnist in the United States. For he once was named National Sports Columnist of the Year by the Associated Press.

 

Reply to Objection 1. [2]. I hate when writers warp reality.

 

And, yesterday, he also wrote the following in the "Yao's a faker" column:

 

Bryant was harassed by Battier into 17 missed shots out of 31 attempts while barely getting to the rim, shooting just five free throws.

 

Bryant showed up at the arena with a sore throat and chills, but claimed afterward he was fine, although that's hard to believe, seeing as he never summoned the energy to get past the slower Battier.

I'm shocked that a columnist who hates advanced statistical analysis doesn't understand Shane Battier's value.^[3] Look at the way he makes nonsensical excuses for Kobe. He would "be hittin' 9-1-1 if Kobe had gone down with the slightest injury."

 

Plaschke is such a douche.

[Cerebus The Aardvark 0]

Plaschke is such a douche.

 

I'm pretty sure that this is the only worthwhile statement to be found in this entire thread.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

63. Mike's offer to Leena for the board was 2½ months for US$50.

[King Cucaracha 0]

For real? That's like... £48.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

£33.26, at the minute.

 

64.

Everybody put 'theone' on their ignore list.

 

It would be hilarious.

This post sums it all up perfectly. Hey, it's ok—and actually encouraged—to call out theone and anyone else when they make a bad post. But why the need for everyone to jump on the bandwagon?

 

 

[TheFranchise 0]

I apologise Xavier.

 

I just find it hilarious messing with the guy.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

I like you British gents.

 

65. Czech craves attention, and I promised more Czech in this thread, and so here we are.

 

Um, you don't need to have your finger on the pulse of teen America to know who the Jonas Brothers are. Their media saturation is such that you don't have to do much more than exist in order to recognize them. I don't know any of their songs, but I can go "oh, ugly kids in suits with bad hair, hey, it's the Jonas Brothers."

Two parts of this post confused me: "ugly kids" and "bad hair." I know that you're the handsomest poster at TSM, and, thus, an authority on good male looks. But, I refer you to an answer provided by Ms. Xxlove&&peaceXx on Yahoo! Answers:^[1]

LOvE ThEm CauSE THey ARe AwEsOMe! I ThInK people say they hate them cause they are jealous thats why a lot of guys hate them they cant get any girls cause the girls go after hot guys ..They Are On FIREEE!! HOOOTT LOvE ThEm CauSE THey ARe AwEsOMe! LOvE ThEm CauSE THey ARe AwEsOMe! LOvE ThEm CauSE THey ARe AwEsOMe! LOvE ThEm CauSE THey ARe AwEsOMe! LOvE ThEm CauSE THey ARe AwEsOMe! LOvE ThEm CauSE THey ARe AwEsOMe! [...]

Czech, are you jealous because the girls go after the hot guys? Why are the Jo Bros on all of the teen magazine covers if they're ugly? Look at the comments in Tiger Beat's gallery!^[2]

 

What's wrong with their hair? Are you one of those people who demands that men have MANLY haircuts (viz., very short)? If you have good, thick hair, why cut it? Show it off. You will get comments like this one:^[3]

i love his hair

just seeing this picture made me horny. nothing is hotter than a man with a beautiful head of hair. i just wanna run my finger through this mans lovely hair ad then make ouit with him.

Posted by omg what fabulous hair (guest) on Sat 18 Apr 2009 01:10:36 PM EDT

[Dear Leelee 0]

We're bored, and I know Xavier loves chatting about me, so here we go.

 

7. Hong Kong electronics on eBay are good deals. I got a $3 optical mouse, a $5 webcam, and a $20 MP3 player. Free shipping on all of them. Check 'em out before the hyperinflation arrives.

Which are probably stuff that people get from DealExtreme, or similar sites like that. They're good for cheap things, but very unreliable. My best deal was getting everything needed to hack my PSP + fake 4GB card for $10... all completely illegal shit, but works perfectly. Gotta love those shady Chinks.

 

She wasn't banned when I became friends with her in 2006. And wasn't it Czech's idea to let her post in The Gulag in 2008? It was a good idea, but the execution was poor. No one could reply to her.

I'm picturing that 2006 timeline as the late Dames' days. I was still banned, but the administration was in total chaos then.

 

The Gulag was entirely my idea. Czech went with it, and Mike did everything to get it started since Czech is an internet n00b. I didn't want anyone to reply to me. And I ended it because the usual fucksticks that constantly needed to remind us they had INTERNET RESPECT (909, Keiper, VX...) couldn't leave me alone.

 

Also, this was about the end of Danny having any semblance of balls... since the cool kidz nearly outed him, and he soon went full blast into the "These Friends O' Mine" faggotry he does now. I really miss the Czech from 2003-07. He had it all. Humor, intelligence in nearly every area, didn't take himself seriously, and the requisite 20 hours per day to burn on a stupid board. Such a waste. Now he's neutered by fucking CWM. Jesus Fucking Christ.

 

She hacked accounts that had simple passwords so that she could post after she was banned. I don't support her doing that. But, other than that, people just didn't like her.

That's not true. I could post whenever I wanted to. Either when I wanted to play nice (RyechnaiaSobaka), or playful boasting (lots of other names I had stored).

 

The reason why I did: I was hacking porn sites, and decided to see what happened here, just for kicks. I found it was very simple. And Mole was the admin then, so why not fuck up his board. I succeeded by forcing accounts to be authorized... which was done very infrequently in those days. Then, I let it go... until Akeroyd got butthurt about me doing that before for some reason. So, I continued.

 

Was what I did wrong? Sure. But, it was Mole, so I don't give a fuck. I refrained from using active accounts for the most part, other than JHawk and a former moderator so I could read the staff folder. I had some good ones from useless dumbasses on here like Dandy, cbacon, etc... that I had to control myself for.

 

Second, I looked in the Staff folder for the post in question after Leena mentioned it, and guess what? It exists. I've been waiting for alkeiper to admit it, but doing so would entail admitting that Leena was telling the truth.

Keiper is a lot of things, but he's not dumb. If he crosses the clique on anything remotely "important", he's fucked. Precious online respect, goodbye.

 

It's really unfortunate that TSM didn't get to know the real Keiper. Since he was a mod soon after joining, backdooring his way in when Dames gave all site writers a mod position. He's a real life Marvin, without the Alopecia excuse for being so. The incredible butthurt he showed after I mocked him when he cried about hating all women after some girl dumped his ugly baldness... oh my God. Glorious. But, he's avoided the wrath he deserves by agreeing with anyone in charge. Shame, that fucker is just sitting there waiting to be destroyed.

 

* I don't know about Leelee, but, seriously, I never cheated in the Arcade. I'm still bitter that my scores were erased. They took time to get.

I did in one game which was easily editable, and I recall you noticed that the score I obtained wasn't possible. Other than that, all legit.

 

Second, the mere fact that Leena still had the power to declassify said thread and failed to do so shows that either A) the situation is blown out of proportion (and based on what alkeiper has told me, that appears to be the case), or B) Leena knows she merely got a taste of her own medicine and therefore can't justify it.

What Al did, and completely admitted to everyone in the former administration:

 

Changed the password on my account.

Locked me out of the account.

Accessed all of my PMs, and shared them with others.

 

Abuse of power doesn't get any worse than that, kids.

 

But, do continue to be oblivious, thinking that they wouldn't do that to you. Kids like Czech have shown that they'll hate you for the most random reasons. Share some private info in your PMs while you're at it.

 

C) Leena doesn't give a flying you-know-what about proving to JHawk that alkeiper's post exists in the Staff folder.

Heh. I randomly DECLASSIFIED posts for no reason. I don't know why. I thought it was really shitty when they did it to the previous staff.

 

It's similar to when the Maffs pretended that she stole the admin account. They wanted to prank the board, and that's ok. But after the prank, they never admitted that they were behind the prank. "I'm assuming it was Leena." What is that "bull shit," CWM? You flat-out lied to everyone. Everyone else involved remained silent about the truth, and so they are guilty of intending to leave a false impression about Leena.

That prank was odd. I have no idea what their purpose was.

 

You don't have to lie about anything I've done. I'm a total cunt, and I ALWAYS admit my foul deeds.

 

They go WELLLL out of their way to not let me post, and then masquerade as me? Fuck the heck? If you wanted trouble, just call my name, I'll be there.

 

I enjoyed the entire episode, and laughed my ass off at the butthurt being shown. Truly, a perplexing situation.

 

Let's sex up the discussion for a while. What's the final word on Czech's sexuality? The popular theory around here was that he's asexual.

Czech is completely straight. He used to talk to me about his female troubles when we were friends. Danny.

 

Is everyone else either indifferent toward or in favor of the Maffs' suddenly deciding to cut me out of a community that I have been a part of for many years?

It's entirely because they think you'll share information with me.

 

Again, common sense isn't being shown...

 

When Leena wants to do something, she does it. I've proven this time after time after time again. If I want to post on your board, I will. I have no desire to. I have no interest in anything you do. TSM was my baby. "TheRealTSM" or whatever is nothing to me.

 

6 more pages... I can't do it. Maybe later. Bye.

 

 

 

[Art Sandusky 0]

some dumb shit

 

To all'a Alina/Leena/Leelee/Alyanna/ALina's stuff: Yeah, they're a buncha fags. Still, what exactly motivates you to mess with a site for years, even to this day? This is really a genuine question, as I've never seen or known of someone so persistent. There might be something to learn here.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Hey!

 

We're bored, and I know Xavier loves chatting about me, so here we go.

It's no secret who my three favorite posters are.

 

That's not true. I could post whenever I wanted to. Either when I wanted to play nice (RyechnaiaSobaka), or playful boasting (lots of other names I had stored).

Interesting. What's up with that name, "RyechnaiaSobaka"? I didn't notice this poster outside of Czech's 'getting to know you' thread. And that thread was about Sandusky, anyway. What's the beef between you two? I've always had a favorable view of him. I like Kylie. How does it feeeeeeeel in my aaaaaarrrrms?

 

We need more of Ryechnaia Sobaka and less of everyone else. Best new poster in years.

Cheech thinks Leena's a good poster! BAN HIM FROM THEREALTSM!!

 

Czech is completely straight. He used to talk to me about his female troubles when we were friends. Danny.

So what I said was correct? Czech, you can also talk to me about this issue.

 

6 more pages... I can't do it. Maybe later. Bye.

Please continue. If anything, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the Rookie of the Year Tournament.

 

66.

Saw this last night, and it kicked all kinds of ass. IF the Trekkies don't love it, then they aren't Trekkies.

I didn't love it. It was an entertaining and well-made film. I don't mind that it's

an alternate reality

. And I like well-developed characters. But, the story was nothing, and it didn't present any innovative ideas that are worth considering or remembering. It's a biography of fictional people, and the only interesting aspect is Spock's struggle with being multiracial. People are just 'marking out' at seeing how the crew of the Enterprise ended up together.

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

That post isn't numbered. Is it #66 or a bonus? I also don't understand why Mike was offering Leena money for his board.

[Dear Leelee 0]

Interesting. What's up with that name, "RyechnaiaSobaka"? I didn't notice this poster outside of Czech's 'getting to know you' thread.

I mostly posted in the sports section, and you didn't frequent much of the board in those days.

 

As for the name... I copied some Japanese name online to give off the impression of a Puro Boy. Because 1) to not have people think it was me, and 2) still be my usual elitist self.

 

Cheech thinks Leena's a good poster! BAN HIM FROM THEREALTSM!!

It wasn't just Cheech... most of the idiots in the sports forum were praising me, and wishing to befriend me via PM. These same people would say that Princess Leena knew nothing about sports. Forums.thesmartmarks.com: WE'RE NOT MISOGYNISTS!

 

And that thread was about Sandusky, anyway. What's the beef between you two? I've always had a favorable view of him.

Patrick Spoon is a horrifically ugly manic depressive nerd that stalked me when I was normal, dark-haired Leena in 2002-03. Then, when he embarrassed himself with those actions... he'd randomly hate me one day, love me the next, pretend to act drunk and high. Your common teenage dope. This got annoying quickly, I blocked him, and that was all. Eventually, he sucked Damian's dick enough to become a power hungry admin. And, of course, if you're "friends" with Damian, you'll hold a stupid grudge against me for no reason, and thus we beefin'.

 

He was one of the better posters in TSM's history, although now he only seems to pop in for occasional inside nonsense and TL;DR Commie bullshit that the majority of unemployed losers at this board eat up with a spoon. Lolz.

 

Please continue. If anything, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the Rookie of the Year Tournament.

Ok.

 

The key phrase is "Asian fetishes." Isn't the point of a fetish that it's a sexual deviation?

If one has an Asian fetish, it suggests they share the sexual desires of the Japanese. Which, judging by their porn, means you are fucked up.

 

President Obama is called the most polarizing president because of the wide difference in percentage between Democrats who approve (88%) and Republicans who approve (27%).

I thought niggers would start saying "He ain't ones of us!" by now, but the media is sticking to their guns in not letting Barry take any blame for the economy.

 

2009 TSM ROOKIE OF THE YEAR TOURNAMENT

I'll add my thoughts on the few people I recall in your group of 16.

 

YKRG is TheDon is NYankees, so he shouldn't be included. One of the many shitty New York homers that never sufficiently replaced Anglesault. Achieved minor TSM fame with his "SUCK DICK CHINK GOOK" line when Wang pitched poorly in the playoffs. Banned because he received some attention for it in Alan Keiper's Sports Forum.

 

theone is an awful Know-It-All and Internet Tough Guy in the WWE folder. He goes to his routine far too much.

 

Noah Fentz was a slightly better Know-It-All and Troll in the WWE folder because he'd play nice and post content on occasion. Judging by his name, he has to be a PBP, or some bitter former poster, but I forgot to check.

 

BradyQuinnManCrush only seemed to post in Draft Faggotry. Whatevz.

 

ForumPro was one of the endless amounts of unfunny gimmicks shared by the Maff Clique. I was surprised when I ran IP checks on Czech, CWM and 909. They seriously may have used more accounts than I have. Doesn't count.

 

Old School and KobashiFS, I vaguely recall as decent, but forgettable posters.

 

I've never seen a Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! post, but he still wins. Great name.

 

If you want to see a real douchebag, look at Danny Gokey.

I'm still butthurt about VFTW.

 

One thing though, in all seriousness, let your posts speak for themselves. If people want to get to know you, they can do it through what you say about things, not what you say about yourself. When you offer an abundance of information about yourself no one had asked for, it just seems like a lonely dude in the corner yelling for friends. I loved reading about the pirates in CE, I've got a lot of army buddies who call me "terror" now because I've taken up defending them whenever we talk. See that's you making an impact. Considering no one here gives a shit about who's friends with who anymore, just be who you are, and stop telling us who you are. I have a feeling you'll be fine.

Battlenuts is a good poster when he wants to be.

 

Dead on.

 

Hey, good post. I'm offering some information about myself because (1) it's likely my farewell thread and I'm purging everything that I feel like writing about before I go, (2) I don't like the perception that I'm "Leena's right-hand man," and (3) I like doing meta-analysis. NHB is for meta discussion of posters. Most of my upcoming posts will be typical forum discussion topics, though.

I'm more qualified to say this than anyone here:

 

People are gonna think what they think about you, no matter how ignorant they may be. Just be yourself. Meta-analysis is you. Babbling about yourself and reaching for friends is not.

 

Her philosophy for TSM was to make it open to everyone and encourage newcomers, with the hope that the variety of opinions would lead to good discussion. I agreed with that philosophy, and so she offered me an admin spot. We wanted the best posters on merit (Czech, o.p.a., Edwin, Cheech, etc.) to be mods who led the discussion in their respective folders.

 

But, the Maffs have a different vision of what TSM should be. They like being the Stonecutters, with elite, closed membership and insider rituals. And most of TSM likes being a part of the Stonecutters, even though they have double- or triple- digit member numbers. I respect this philosophy as well. It's fun for the people who are a part of it.

 

My attitude here probably suggests that I hate cliques, but that's not true.

 

TSM is a large discussion board that was based on the writings of Scott Keith, and eventually a poorly maintained site. It is far too large to be such an inside board. Just look at posts from Czech and the sort... always bitching about how the wrestling section was horrible and he only wants to post with his friends, THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE. This is always going to be a board primarily about wrestling, and pop culture.

 

If you want an inside board, go create another WDI, The Pit, "Super Secret Fag Board", etc... or, just stay in your AIM chats and conversations.

 

When I bought TSM, I was naive and thought most here didn't care about stupid bullshit like board politics and letz all h8 leena. I was clearly wrong. That's why I quit so abruptly. I want to fix this place, but too much damage was done to my rep. It's now solely up to Michael McKenzie...

 

The man who played Leena stole thoe pictures from some account that was revealed in early April

From a ranchoweb account named Alina, which was posted on this board by Leena...

 

Dude, the only reason you were accepted back on this board is because you're retarded, or whatever you have. You're sucking online dick to keep this attention?! I feel for you.

 

It also amazes me that people are bitching because they're trying to keep it a private board. Real life organizations are private. Moose lodges, Elks lodges, etc. I think it sucks they won't let you in, but calling them elitist because they won't do so is pushing it.

Battlenuts covered this in detail... but, I have to comment that there are so many ridiculous things in those mere 2 sentences.

 

And if he would have been man enough to flat out say this instead of doing things sneakily behind everybody's back, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation. That's what pissed everybody off more than anything else.

Everybody? Do tell me why you care.

 

You weren't a part-owner that was shafted out of roughly $20. You weren't part of the former administration that, although wanting to renew their contract, were under no agreement to keep their positions past 11 March 2009.

 

Look, I'm not pleased with how Mike handled this. But, let's stop the injustice shit. The reason the Maff Clique is butthurt is because they lost their toy, and thought I was going to destroy it. I DIDN'T! I even asked them to still be a part of this board! And my ownership is now over, so you can't even say that I'm going to do it in the future.

 

So, let's get past our petty squabbles and realize that this board really hasn't changed at all.

 

That's all for now.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

*gives Leena attention*

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

That post isn't numbered. Is it #66 or a bonus? I also don't understand why Mike was offering Leena money for his board.

The title of Venk's post should be Naked Lunch, because I can think of at least two things wrong with it.

 

Patrick Spoon is a horrifically ugly manic depressive nerd that stalked me when I was normal, dark-haired Leena in 2002-03. Then, when he embarrassed himself with those actions... he'd randomly hate me one day, love me the next, pretend to act drunk and high. Your common teenage dope. This got annoying quickly, I blocked him, and that was all. Eventually, he sucked Damian's dick enough to become a power hungry admin. And, of course, if you're "friends" with Damian, you'll hold a stupid grudge against me for no reason, and thus we beefin'.

But he's a fuckin' soldier!

 

If one has an Asian fetish, it suggests they share the sexual desires of the Japanese. Which, judging by their porn, means you are fucked up.

When I exploded in Amy's vagina, I wasn't fantasizing about tentacles assraping her.

 

I thought niggers would start saying "He ain't ones of us!" by now, but the media is sticking to their guns in not letting Barry take any blame for the economy.

You also thought that black people wouldn't vote for him because "He ain't ones of us!" Please explain to me your frequent usage of the term "nigger."

 

YKRG is TheDon is NYankees, so he shouldn't be included. One of the many shitty New York homers that never sufficiently replaced Anglesault.

I avoid New York discussion. It was more interesting to have him in it than another 30-post guy. Obviously I liked Anglesault, but, in those days, I was here for the wrestling discussion instead of the self-REFERNCES.

 

ForumPro was one of the endless amounts of unfunny gimmicks shared by the Maff Clique.

I wanted something silly for the 16 seed. I also considered Scott Keith since he signed up and made one post last year.

 

Just be yourself.

I am.

 

It's now solely up to Michael McKenzie...

*departs to another forum*

 

From a ranchoweb account named Alina, which was posted on this board by Leena...

Many posters either really want to believe the Peter Z post (and still do) or are confused about the explanation.

 

Aren't we at the stage where we can start banning people for no real good reason?

You asked that question three weeks ago. This forum is for people who are banned for no real good reason from tsm.thelevel-x.net.

 

How's the "We Watch Shitty Old WCW Shows" Club going?

 

*gives Leena attention*

Did the Maffs order everyone not to?

 

67. THIS POST IS ABOUT WWW.BLOCKPOSTERS.COM. Check out the one I made:

 

When you have complete freedom to choose any image ever created, it's difficult to determine the one that is the best and reflects what type of person you are. I find this one inspiring. It demonstrates the physical ability and the will of a human. Shouldn't posters be inspiring instead of merely things that you currently like? I think so.

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

Hiding a number long after the tl;dr portion doesn't count, 'Sault

 

63. Mike's offer to Leena for the board was 2½ months for US$50.

 

To me, the syntax here implies Mike made an offer of $50 to Leena for his own board. Perhaps you meant to say "Mike's offer for Leena to have the board was $50"? That said, I enjoyed The Simpsons reference.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Hiding a number long after the tl;dr portion doesn't count, 'Sault

 

63. Mike's offer to Leena for the board was 2½ months for US$50.

 

To me, the syntax here implies Mike made an offer of $50 to Leena for his own board. Perhaps you meant to say "Mike's offer for Leena to have the board was $50"? That said, I enjoyed The Simpsons reference.

"Offer" is ambiguous because either the seller or the buyer can make the offer. I don't think that your sentence clarifies whether Mike is offering to sell or offering to buy. "Mike offered to sell 2½ months of coownership of the board to Leena for US$50."

 

68. Let's review my American Idol predictions.

Yeah, it's time to predict the order of finish.

 

13. Jasmine Murray

12. Megan Joy

11. Anoop Desai

10. Matt Giraud

9. Kris Allen

8. Michael Sarver

7. Alexis Grace

6. Jorge Nuñez

5. Scott MacIntyre

4. Lil Rounds

3. Adam Lambert-Jonas

2. Danny Gokey

1. Allison Iraheta

 

13. Jasmine (13), yay me.

12. I didn't think Jorge (6) was good enough for sixth, but I thought he was this year's guy who would unexpectedly last a long time. (It turned out to be Kris.)

11. Alexis (7) was a surprise to go out so quickly, but I did see her attitude and awkward moves as being problematic before she was eliminated.

10. It's unfortunate that I put Michael (8) two spots too high, because I thought he sucked.

9. Megan (12) survived for a while because of Vote for the Gokey. Cute girl.

8. Scott (5) got bland (to the audience) a little quicker than I thought.

7. or 5. Matt (10) is still a guy I don't get. Who the fuck voted for him?

6. or 7. Lil (4) was the typical "early favorite who has no actual chance of winning."

5. or 6. Anoop (11) was the man, I just thought America wouldn't give him much of a chance.

4. Allison (1) went farther than many expected. She fits in perfectly with the Disney/Demi Lovato types.

3. Kris (9) was getting blasted around here, but it was obvious that (a) he was the only handsome guy and (b) he tries to be original. I didn't place him higher because he seemed weak on personality and vocals.

2. or 1. Adam (3) I don't want him to win.

2. or 1. Danny (2) I REALLY don't want him to win.

 

The biggest crime of the season was that Felicia Barton didn't get invited to the wild card, especially considering whom they did invite.

[Dear Leelee 0]

But he's a fuckin' soldier!

Admirable, if he goes through with it.

 

When I exploded in Amy's vagina, I wasn't fantasizing about

tentacles assraping her.

...

 

This oddly interested me into seeing a kind of porn I've never seen. A

woman is having consensual sex in the vagina, then gets "raped" in the

bottom by another man, preferrably well endowed. I'm sure Japan,

Germany or Brazil has covered it, with even more penii in action.

 

You also thought that black people wouldn't vote for him

because "He ain't ones of us!" Please explain to me your frequent

usage of the term "nigger."

No, I knew they'd still vote for Barry. I thought the percentage would

drop slightly over time, and it did.

 

I use "nigger" because I insult all races and everyone.

 

It was more interesting to have him in it than another 30-post guy.

Then a rookie tournament seems like a bad idea.

 

I wanted something silly for the 16 seed. I also considered Scott Keith since he signed up and made one post last year.

True, I would have added him.

 

I'll say it: I've always liked Scooter's work, and don't get why everyone hates him here so much. Other than the legendary Jay Bower, Scott owns all of the Meltzer tards that have come through TSM.

 

*departs to another forum*

... Yeah, TSM is looking like the Denver Broncos. With me playing the role as Mr. Cutler.

 

Many posters either really want to believe the Peter Z post (and still do) or are confused about the explanation.

The previous administration had a big part in that... putting it into classics, and deleting anything else I'd post within 5 seconds.

 

The idea of "everything Leeter posts is bullshit, EXCEPT THIS which is the most damning to her character!" is pretty fallible. But, I expect that, this is the Internet. The Pit's reaction is funniest though... people went from liking me, to HATING MY GUTS because I'm not some blonde chick. Lulz.

 

This forum is for people who are banned for no real good reason from tsm.thelevel-x.net.

You're still banned there?

 

You can call me a cunt or something, I'm cool with it.

 

3. Adam Lambert-Jonas

No.

 

Danny (2) I REALLY don't want him to win.

He will. The end.

[Dear Leelee 0]

The biggest crime of the season was that Felicia Barton didn't get invited to the wild card, especially considering whom they did invite.

Hey, wait, you're insulting Tatiana. Pff.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

I'll say it: I've always liked Scooter's work, and don't get why everyone hates him here so much.

He's fat and his books aren't spellchecked well. I joined this community seven or eight years ago because of his reviews.

 

Yeah, TSM is looking like the Denver Broncos. With me playing the role as Mr. Cutler.

You know who I am, then?

 

...

 

Kyle ORTON. (I'm totally drafting him this season.)

 

You can call me a cunt or something, I'm cool with it.

No.

 

69. SEX POST.

This oddly interested me into seeing a kind of porn I've never seen. A

woman is having consensual sex in the vagina, then gets "raped" in the

bottom by another man, preferrably well endowed. I'm sure Japan,

Germany or Brazil has covered it, with even more penii in action.

I don't get bizarre porn at all.

 

Why are most porn directors so shitty?

* I don't want to see the male's face, ever. Especially not a random cut to it.

* I don't want to see the Balls Cam angle.

* I don't want to see the back of the girl's head.

* When the girl is sucking dick, I want to see her face and tits.

* When the girl is getting fucked, I want to see her face, tits, and vagina.

* It should either be POV or a near-POV angle.

 

On the subject of creampies, it shouldn't even qualify as a creampie when the guy takes 95% of his dick out of the girl and basically cums on the vulva. A real creampie entails grabbing the girl's hips and jamming the dick in as deep as possible. Why the fuck are you in porn if you're afraid of getting cum inside you?

 

Now, let's reexamine my 64-girl tournament, Miss Cromartie II. I'd still put Sunny Leone as the most attractive girl. Kim Kardashian should have gone farther, and I have doubts about Melina Pitra. If I rank them without the confines of the regional tournament structure, I'd do it this way:

 

5. Ayesha Takia (India)

4. Alyson Michalka (Ukraine)

3. Kim Kardashian (Armenia)

2. Ashley Tisdale (USA)

1. Sunny Leone (India)

 

I can never really decide, though.

 

As for the three ineligibles, let's project them five years in the future.

* Miley Cyrus is not going to age well.

* Selena Gomez could turn out ok if she stops looking like she's 10 years old.

* Demi Lovato has the best potential. She could pull a Tisdale.

[chaosrage 0]

No Lexi Belle, Jenni Lee, Rebecca Linares, Nikki Rhodes, Megan Fox, Hayden Panettiere, or Jessica Biel? Shame on you.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Let's discuss them.

 

Lexi Belle could make it in the weak USA bracket.

Jenni Lee is ok but not tournament material.

Rebecca Linares, not a chance.

Nikki Rhodes, no way. I'm not a freak for redheads.

Megan Fox is a joke I'm not in on. She looks good, but being FHM's #1 was absurd.

Hayden Panettiere was intentionally excluded. Overrated.

Jessica Biel is nothing special.

 

My tournament is based solely on how physically attractive they are—not their personalities nor their sexual abilities.

 

70. DrVenkman PhD wants attention, and he seems to be interested in grammar, and so let's make an exciting grammar post. But first, I'm announcing that posts 72–76 will be our other tournament: the best usernames in TSM history. This tournament will have 32 participants. Post your nominations, if you have any.

 

I was so sick of that finish, because I had watched a ton of matches recently which borrowed a similar finish.

"Which" requires a definite antecedent. Change "which" to "that."

 

He's taken the pussification of football to new heights, and failed to punish Belichick properly over Spygate because he coaches a team that's popular.

Either remove the comma or place a "he" after "and." I'd change the "he" before "coaches" to "Belichick" in order to clarify it for the people who don't follow the NFL. I don't like "he's" to mean "he has," either.

 

This presents quite the problem.

Always specify "this." This what?

 

I only said that the act of two dudes being together is something that most people find gross.

You have misplaced "only." You said more than that one statement.

 

I could also see him bludgeoning an incompetent warehouse grunt to death with a hockey stick as "Happy For The Rest Of Your Life" plays in the background.

His bludgeoning. Possessive case with a gerund.

 

Tough call, as "Don't Speak" was actually a pretty neat song, but this is still one of my favorites from that time period.

Replace "as" with "since" and put "song" after "this."

 

Particularly in MLB, where many of the traits that won the regular season (i.e. depth) do not mean as much.

I think that "e.g.," is the only thing that makes sense in this case. Depth is one example of the many traits.

 

Man, if I was the manager on one of these teams I'd figure out a way to get my pitchers on the field on defense, so I would have 8 potential pitchers on the field at any time to swap around whenever we needed to.

Subjunctive. If I were.

 

surprise witnesses (each more surprising than the last).

Quotes must be exact.