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It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

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How To Vibrate
 

gary floyd rates the new TV shows

ABC   -Pushing Daisies-Best new show of the season. It's funny, has likeable characters (and hot chicks), great visuals, an intersting plot, and more. Great stuff. A   -Dirty Sexy Money-Not too wild about what I saw. Not even Donald Sutherland can save it. D   -Cavemen-No. F   -Carpoolers-Not even the presence of Kids in the Hall member Bruce McCulloch as a writer can make this good. Cliched and disappointing, as it could have been great. C-   -Big Shots-Sucks. I miss the shoe "Titus." F   NBC   -Chuck-The geek gimmick can occasionally get annoying, but it's still good stuff. B   -Journeyman-I really have wanted to like the show, and while Kevin McKidd is great, I have yet to be really involved. C+   -Bionic Woman-I really wanted to like this one also, but so far, it's just so-so. C   -Life-Good, but not great. It's fun, but formulaic. B-   Fox   -K-Ville-Also fun but formulaic. The thing that makes it is the cast, particularly Anthony Anderson. B-   -Back To You-Boring, with the exception of Fred Willard. D+   CBS   -The Big Bang Theory-From the producers of "2 1/2 Men." So yeah, it's not good. D-   -Cane-Interesting, and well acted, but a bit of a let down. C+   -Moonlight-Vampires as PI's? No thanks. F   -Viva Laughlin!-This is...well, it's something. It's a horrible show, but it's like a bad acid trip kind of horrible, as it's something you saw, hallucinated (well, it feels like it) and wish you never did see. F   The CW   -Aliens in America-Not too bad. The leads have great chemistry, and Adhir Kalayan could be the season's breakout star. Plus, it's got the kid from "The Hills Have Eyes" remake. B   -Reaper-The second best show of the season. Ray Wise gives the season's best performance as Satan. A   -Gossip Girl-Haven't seen it.   -Life is Wild-Ditto.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

The 2 Lamest Forms fo Pornography

No description needed. With NSFW examples.   5.) Hentai-Hey, why not wack off to something that isn't even real! Come on, why masturbate to animation or drawings? Just go with the real thing, it will save you the embarresment. Another reason hentai goes here is because of it's fantasy element. And by that, I mean tentacles. Just watch a gang bang video if you want to see a girl surrounded by a swarm of cocks.   4.) Erotic Fanfiction-Believe it or not, this used to be dominated by lonely guys without a chance of getting laid. Now it's dominated by sexually repressed teenage girls and housewives who like to think if Goku or Harry Potter taking it in the ass. Oh, and fictional males becoming impregnated.   3.) Furry Porn-What's worse than spanking it to anime? Spanking it to anthropomorphic animals and dressing up like said animals for sex. Someday, the internet will become so ingrated into the minds of humanity that normal consensual sex will be frowned upon and looked at as taboo.   2.) Second Life-Can't get laid? Masturbation just not doing it anymore? Then go to Second Life and pretend that you're getting pussy! It's pretty much virtual sex, only more widely used, and more pathetic. Oh, and apparently, furries have now gotten in on it. And yes, they watch anthropomorphic animals fucking instead of virtual people, which is even more pathetic than watching virtual people.   1.) Girls Gone Wild-Compared to the other examples, this one is tame. That's one of the reason's I included this, and why it is the most pathetic form of pornography available: porn that really isn't porn at all. Sure, there's all the tits and ass you'd expect, but it's so tame. It's pretty much porn for those who are too weak to look at actual porn.   And that's the list.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Return to the mall

Sunday was interesting, as I returned to the mall. Was it a fun experience?   Unlike last time, I saw no Juggalos. I even found t-shirts I wanted (all horror movie related). The guy working at the store though, hoo-boy. He was a loud talker. I mean a really loud talker. I was practically worried he was going to skin me alive, the way he went on about horror movies and whatnot, practically seeming like he was about to come out of his skin. In short, he scared the shit out of me. Oh, and the guy he was working with him looked like a chick. Also, the music they played in there sucked.   I thought of going into the Hot Topic for a laugh, but changed my mind. I already went to one store for shirts (called Cosmic or some bullshit) so I didn't want to suffer. I did go to the bookstore there (Waldens, which sure as hell ain't Borders) and got John Skipp's book "The Long Last Call." It's a good, quick read, with interesting characters, as well as a great introduction by Brian Keene.   All this out of the way, it would be nice if the people working at the mall knew where certain places were. Come on, they work there at the mall, and they don't know where the mall's book store is? Also, why do bookstores all the sudden have to be flooded with Anime merchandise? I go there to get a horror or sci-fi novel, or a magazine, not to have Inuyasha (no, not CronoT's attempt at being a master of disguise) look at me.   I then went to FYE, then left. In case the music industry is wondering "why aren't people buying CD's like they used to?", it probably has to do with the fact that CD's cost $19.99. I'm not paying that much for a Neurosis CD, no matter how much I like the band. That's too fucking expensive.   So yeah, that's my return to the mall in a nutshell.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Vince is my father

I know, it's been a while, but I've been busy.   -Anyways, in case you didn't see Raw, Vince came back, and we have another "so bad it's awesome" storyline: This time: Vince has an illegitimate child.   Hell yeah it's dumb. But it gets your attention. Remember last week, when Kurt Angle's wife left him on TNA? Of course you don't, that was boring. Vince having an illegitimate kid though, awesome. That may be his best talent: no matter how stupid (or even how bad) it is, you pay attention.   -To Hollywood: I'm concerned about the environment too, but come on, you aren't fooling anybody. Seriously, are you fuckers actually worried, or are you just acting like it because Al Gore is worried? Me thinks it's the latter.   -So, Bob Allen says he gave a black guy a blow job because he was scared? Yeah, that big, black cock really must have "intimidated" you into sucking it...   -There's going to be a movie about the Notorious B.I. G., though it won't co-stat Butters. I'm sure it will end with a bang though.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

That's pretty gay dude

-The reason for this entry's title: "Hairspray" and "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry" are in theatres. That's pretty gay.   -There's a thread in CS right now that started with something MikeSC said. I'm I really missing something over at The Pit. Last I checked, the music folder isn't too active. Also, how did Mike try to spin the Mark Foley thing?   -In case you didn't see Larry King last night, it seems like Tammy Faye Baker will be kicking the bucket soon. A shame really, as she's one of the few fundies I can think of who's tolerable, and who seems like a nice person.   -A creepy looking couple was caught having sex in public. The Couple themselves: It's never the couples who you want to see. He looks like a white trash version of David Cross.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Metal Albums I'm enjoying part II

The Angelic Process-Weighing Souls With Sand Really good shoegazer meets metal stuff that will keep the neighbors up. Sounds like Jesu meets the Swans.   Agalloch-The Mantle Black Metal with folk influences and great gothicesque passages. Sounds like Katatonia meets Death In June in their prime, and great for cold winter nights.   Alice In Chains-Facelift, Jar of Flies, Sap, and the Self Titled "But gary, that's grunge!" Shut up, it's metal to me.   Slayer-Seasons in the Abyss No metal list would be complete without Slayer. You really can't not love an album with "War Ensemble" though.   Enslaved-Isa Call it what you want (Black Metal, Viking Metal, whatever), it's really good, with progressive rock overtones to match.   Nile-In Their Darkened Shrines Really good technical Death Metal, with Lovecraftian undertones (you knew I'd love that), trible drumming, choirs, and more.   Symphony X-Divine Wings of Tragedy I normally don't care for Symphonic metal, but this is actually a good album. I love the keyboard work on it.   Gorgoroth-Ad Majorem Sathanas Gloriam I normally don't like these guys, but this is a pretty impressive album, with awesome drumming, and a frontman (Gaal) who actually sounds scary. Also, it's quick and to the point, with no filler at all.   White Zombie-Astro Creep 2000 I always liked this more than La Sexercisto, as it gets the whole sleazy comic book vibe down better.   Melechesh-Emissaries Black Metal filled with middle eastern rhythms (they are from Jerusalem), killer riffs, and even a song with tabalas.   Amorphis-Elegy The last Death Metal esque album they did, with awesome riffs, acoustic guitars, prog rock keyboards, and more.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

Let's talk about menstration

-Ever since Benoit died, I've been in the WWE folders more than I usually am.   It's true: The place is pathetic.   I haver never seen so much unbelieveably retarded behavior on a message board since I used to lurk Livejournals for laughs. From "SUCK MY COCK CUNT" to Vampiro69's lovely posts to Angle-plex saying "fuck Debra" (yeah, how dare she get beaten like that!) that thread is both the best and the worst thing I have seen in ages. No wonder I quit hanging around that hellhole. That out of the way, Czech pretty much made the best (and funniest) posts in the thread, so he gets a "best poster on TSM" notice. The guy really is my favorite poster.   -Also, Chris was apparently giving his kid steroids, and killed him with the Cripple Crossface. This whole story just keeps getting more and more fucked up.   -Out of boredom last night, I read old threads of wildpegasus being wildpegasus, and I actually wondered how he's taking the whole thing. He must be a wreck, and for some really sick reason, that amuses me. So, since I don't post on The Pit but he does, how's he taking it over there?   I can see the situation: He wanders the streets, drinking Apple Juice, while screaming out "WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?" at the top of his lungs, as passer bys laugh at him. He enters the weightroom, and gets kicked out for bellyaching. He even thinks of hiring a hooker to ease the pain, but changes his mind when memories of his cousin return. He then goes on to masturbate to his posters of Bret Hart and Astoboy, and then cries himself to sleep.   Meanwhile, his parents are happy, as they see this as leading to his possible death, meaning they won't have to put up with him anymore.   Mean spirited? You bet, but pretty likely.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

4
How To Vibrate
 

Favorite Hip Hop songs, part 1

Zapp & Roger - More Bounce to the Ounce More R&B/Funk than hip hop, but the amount of artists that have sampled it (Coolio, Compton's Most Wanted, Brotha Lynch Hung, Ice Cube, Public Enemy, Insane Clown Posse, EPMD, and many more) makes it impossible to resist, especially the awesome beat. The best use of the song as a sample source goes to EPMD's "You Got's Ta Chill" and Ice Cube'ss "Steady Mobbin'"   Public Enemy - Shut 'em Down One of their angriest songs, with an incredibly hard hitting beat, vitrolic lyrics, and more, it's one of the groups last hurrah's before they hit mediocrity.   Wu Tang Clan - Grave Pit Awesome rhymes, a great use of Gap Band samples, excellent chorus (I hum it to myself regularly), and we go back, and forth...   Ice Cube - Ghetto Vet Carnival mentioned this song in the past, and it's a good one. Probably Cube's most underrated song.   Erik B. & Rakim - I Know You Got Soul One of the early examples of using James Brown samples, it's also one of the best. Rakim may be the closest thing Hip Hop has ever had to having God on the mic, and the samples and breaks just makes it a great cut.   Man Parrish - Boogie Down Bronx Though "Hip Hop Be Bop" is more well known (and was used to great effect in "Shaun of the Dead"), "Boogie Down Bronx" is Man Parrish's best song.   Big Daddy Kane - Ain't No Half Steppin' "I stop and stand strong over MC’s/ And devour with the power of Hercules" That is still one of the best lines in Hip Hop history.   Afrika Bambaataa + Soul Sonic Force - Planet Rock Yeah, so some old school hip hop has mediocre rhymes, but this is still great. Everything from the Kraftwerk sample, tot he influence the song has on Hip Hop, House, and Electro. It would be a crime not to include it.   Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Doggy Dogg - Deep Cover While I also love "Nothin' But a G Thang", "Deep Cover" is the best Dre/Snoop collaberation.   Dr. Dre - Lyrical Gangbangs One of the most underrated Dre songs, with a pounding, metallic snare drum beat, and maybe some of his best wok on the mic.   Don't worry, there's more to come.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Live Earth, Children of Men, The Fountain, Transformers movie

-Live Earth sucked. Aside from a few good performances (Roger Waters, Metallica, Crowded Houses, & Duran Duran), it was largely dull. The Police were horrible, Yellow Magic Orchestra (think Kraftwerk, only Japanese and a bit more lighthearted) were dull and their set was too short, Al Gore looked more like Darrell Hammond playing Al Gore than the actual thing, and well, it sucked.   -If you haven't seen "Children of Men" yet, go rent it. It's one of the best movies of last year, and it has an awesome soundtrack. That out of the way, avoid "The Fountain", which aside from an excellent score, is really boring and pretentious.   -Transformers is the top movie in America (bet yer suprised), and as I already mentioned, is a blast. It's amazing that out of all the huge budget blockbusters, this one is the best. "Spider Man 3" was a dissapointment, "POTC 3' is pretty much milking the franchise for all it's worth, and I'd rather stuck my nuts in a vice than watch "Shrek 3" again. Besides, "28 Weeks Later" was the best sequal of the summer so far.   -Finally, how stupid can hippies be?   In the following days, look for:   A sequal to the Metal albums thread Some of my favorite hip hop songs
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Transformers movie, other things

-Happy 4th of...oh damnit, I'm late again. I was good though. I visited my family, saw fireworks, had ribs (wish I brought some home with me...) and that's about it.   Anyways, the "Transformers" movie was pretty good. Sure, it has it's flaws (the mom is really annoying, the use of Linkin Park music), but it's still a lot of fun. Great action, good acting, most of the jokes are hits, great special effects-it's all you want out of a blockbuster. Just turn your mind off, and don't go into it thinking "Oh, it's not the same as G1!"   -I saw a poster for the "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie, and well, to David Cross: You are a funny man, but with this,"Scary Movie 2", and "Freakshow" (which you served as producer), I'm starting to think you need a new agent, or at least to think about the movie choices you make.   -Also, "Ratatoullie" is awesome. Next to "Grindhouse", it may be my favorite movie of the year so far.   -Borders is better than Barnes & Noble. How do I know this? Well, I go to a lot of bookstores (I read a lot) so I would know by experience.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Damn

Well, it turns out old Benoit is a murder. Well, so much for that eulogy, which will now be deleted.   Chris, I'll always love you're in ring work, but seriously, fuck you man.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

It's torture!

The torture horror genre is dead. Well almost dead. Thank God.   I liked "Hostel" and it's sequal, in spite of what others have said. I liked the first "Saw" movie. That out of the way, with "Hostel Part II" tanking (and director Eli Roth posting an incredibly whiney entry in his Myspace), and inspite of the movie "Captivity" coming out, people aren't largely going to see people get tortured anymore. Ok, so there's another "Saw" movie, but that's beyond the point.   I think that people are tired of being bombarded with torture flick after torture flick. Hell, Roth has even seemed to have moved beyond the tired subgenre he helped give birth to, and is going on to do an adaptation of Stephen King's "Cell" as his next movie. The director of "Saw" went on to do the dreadful "Dead Silence", which at least saw him try something different. The director of the excellent slasher flick "High Tension" and the remake of "The Hills Have Eyes" is moving on to more creepy supernatural scare. And "28 Weeks" later not only showed that R rated horror can still do good box office, but can still be scary. Several R Rated horror films have proven that you can be scary without endless torture sequences. The problem: They haven't done good box office.   In a way, because of movies like "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning" and their ilk, R-Rated horror has gotten a bad buzz. Critics now use the tired phrase "torture porn" to describe such movies (really folks, torture porn is the kind of thing you find in Sweeden), and the movie going public has tired of torture. Unfortunately, this has spoiled things for other horror flicks, meaning that much better and more imaginative horror flicks either do poor box office ("Grindhouse", "The Abandoned", "Slither") get limited release ("Black Sheep", "Fido"), or get dumped straight to video ("Gravedancers", "Reincarnation", "Isolation")   People want to be scared again. They don't want to see Elisha Cuthbert get tortured by a deranged maniac. They don't want to see a woman get raped by a mutant. They want to be frightened, not put through an ordeal.   My answer to those who complain about movies that use torture: don't watch them, and they'll go away. Go see original horror movies that deserve respect and attention, like "The Descent" or "The Abandoned."   Horror isn't going to die, it's just at a crossroads. That's ok, because this always happens. The same thing happened with slasher movies in the 80's and self aware horror in the 90's. The next big thing will come eventually, and it will go, only to make way for the new one.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Can't stop talking about Vince and music

-Well, Raw ended on a disappointing note, though it's good to see Steph only had a few minutes on the mic. Already, some people are complaining about the Vince angle, saying "Oh, it's direspectful to Sherri" or "it's taking up too much time and we don't see as much in ring action as we want." Well, 1.) Get off your fucking high horses. The WWE had no idea Sherri was going to die. Nobody knew Sherri was going to die. End of story. They can't just quit right now, because it would make no sense storyline wise. Besides, you are watching WWE, you don't expect morality or good taste from something Vince McMahon is responsible for. 2.) I can understand people not liking that the storyline is taking up too much airtime. If you don't like that, go watch TNA. They are known more for in ring action. Until then, I will continue to enjoy the stupidity and awesomeness of the "Vince is dead" storyline, as well as the return of Snitsky next week.   Come on folks, it's predetermined. You know it, I know it, anybody with brain matter knows it. So don't take it so seriously. Either enjoy it or don't watch it. It's that easy. I don't watch wrestling to complain about it on the internet. I watch it to be entertained by good matches and goofy storylines.   -In music, I've been listening to a lot of what is referred to as No Wave, as well as a lot of old Punk-Funk and Mutant Disco music. Seriously, this is some geat stuff.   -Also, I've been listening to a lot of Blac Sabbath, or at least three albums: Black Sabbath, Master of Reality, and Vol. 4. I'd say Vol. 4 is their best: The riffs are great, the lyrics are top notch, and it just flat out rocks.   -I was listening to the song "Fuck Wit Dre Day" last night, and I noticed something: Dr. Dre and co. seem to like to talk about gay sex. Examples:     Homophobia and dissing opponents, or something else? Either way, I love the album The Chronic, but this is a pretty gay song when you think about it. Not even Elton John wrote anything that gay.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

More wrestling (Vince) talk, music shit, the worst new show

-Apparently, some people are taking the "Death" of Vince a little too seriously, sending letters to the company and calling them. I already posted this picture, but: Anywho, this is still awesome, or at least for the time being. I enjoy great in ring work as much as the next smark, but this is the kind of thing I love: Stories that are incredibly stupid, but are still fun because of their stupidity. Let's face it, while the WWE has done things that are so dumb they're dumb (Katie Vick, operating on "J.R.s ass"), they are also masters of so dumb it's great. And nobody does this like the WWE. What does NWA TNA have: VKM trying to sabatoge WWE shows. Granted, DX did the same thing, but it still doesn't excuse TNA's boredome factor, or at least to me.   -Now, onto music: Last time, I mentioned the worst albums of the year so far, yet I forgot to mention the new one from The Stooges albu. Granted, they haven't done an album together since the early 70's, but it still sucks, especially considering that this is the band that gve us Funhouse and Raw Power.   I also mentioned Timbaland's Shock Value.and whoo boy, is that bad. Granted, he's not a bad producer, but he should stick to that. There isn't a single interesting moment on here, from the song "Bounce" (no Missy Elliot, I don't want to see your ass n' titties. Nobody wants to) to collaborating with Fall Out Boy (who deserve a special place in hell for covering "Love will Tear us Apart), and the list goes on. This and the new Stooges albums are the years worse so far, though Timbaland wins it for the album being a ridiculous achivement in ego.   -What's the wort new show on TV? Why, its "Lil' Bush", the new cartoon on Comedy Central. Using tired "BUSH IZ STOOPID" and Bill Clinton jokes that went out as soon as Billy boy left office, as well as the worst attempts at political satire since Rolling Stone in the past few years, even the biggest Bush hater will hate this pile of shit. Unless you are Rolling Stone, who seem to like the show. Yeah, it's not like they are still relevent or anything...
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

The "death" of Vince McMahon

Vince, you old bastard, you did it: You got me to post in the WWE folders again.   In case you haven't seen it, Vince got in his lime last night at the end of Raw, and   Yep, they killed the Mr. McMahon character. Or at least for a while.   This is awesome. Yeah, it's dumb, but that's why it's great. TNA may have some of the better workers, but they can't come up with something like this. They come up with bullshit like VKM tormenting the WWE or Ron Killings doing horrible raps dissing the WWE. This is one of the reasons why compared to Vince, no matter how bad the product is (it's actually been decent lately), is still more interesting and better than TNA. I only watch TNA every now and again. I watch WWE more. Hell, it's got me posting in the WWE folders again, which I haven't done in ages.   I am talking about wrestling again, which I haven't done in ages. I haven't been this interested in a long time. This folks, is good television.   Of course, Vince will return. But for now, let's enjoy it.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

7
How To Vibrate
 

I Need Something To Chew On

-I'm back. I had to do finals, and I went to my brothers graduation party (beer was good, party was so-so), and I saw "Hostel Part II" (pretty good)   -Paris Hilton went to jail, and I don't care. Seriously, why does anybody still give a shit about this woman? She's completley worthless, has contributed nothing to society, yet people won't shut up about her. I don't care, and I don't want to hear about her.   - Just thought you should know.   -Finally, here's a man singing while fucking a girl's ass. NSFW obviously, but great none the less.     Sorry for the boring journal entry.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Rethinking things

As I'm typing this, "The Shield" season finale is on   In case you didn't know, Inc. hates me. I mean he really hates me. He says I'm nothing. I got pissed off over this.   Bad idea.   Well now, I don't know what to do. I gave up, and decided what the hell, let him waste his time. I did nothing to him, but what can I do? Nothing. So he hates me. Whatever. I lost my cool, and it was a mistake.   I'm not that bad of a poster, am I?   Right now, I'm rethinking my role on TSM. I'm still going to post. I'm not going to quit just because a few people think I'm pathetic. That out of the way, I need to chill out. I can't just yell at someone over the internet, since that accomplishes diddly shit.   Maybe I should join the Pit. Granted, Rapemaster MikeSC and wildpegasus post there, and I'm not too wild about them. But I need to start posting somewhere beside here. I have no interest in say, DVDVR's boards. Fark? Don't like it too much. Something Awful? I'm not paying to post somewhere. Wrestlecrap? You must be fucking kidding me.   I'm I still pissed? Yes, a little. I didn't do shit to Inc, and he insults me. What's his problem. However, I'm not going to argue with him, since it's a waste of time.   I've been posting here for almost three years. I've loved it for the most part. I've met some great people and posters. I'm not going to quit just because somebody I never met in my life doesn't like me. I do need to work on some things though. I need to quit trying to be cool with everybody. Some people are assholes, but I'll just have to deal with it. The fact that I lost my cool is rather hypocritical, since I insult certain posters as well. So I should take a few punches. It was only a matter of time before someone ripped on me. I guess I had it coming.   The point of all this is that I'm trying to show some humility here. I'll go back to being the same old Gary Floyd that you love/hate/ignore. I'll go back to posting pictures that amuse some and annoy others. Don't like it? Too bad.   So there you have it. I'm sorry I lost my cool. I don't want to fight anymore. Let's just go back to sort of tolerating one another.   Oh, and Matt, I don't want to be your "nigga."
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

4
How To Vibrate
 

The lyrical genius of R.Kelly

R.Kelly is insane. He's also a lyrical genius. Or he's inane. Either way, he's R.Kelly, and he's a goledn shower loving pedophile who loves bad lyrical puns and metaphors for sex. Here's a few songs that are proof.   "You Remind Me of Something"   "Sex Weed"   "The Zoo"   Last but not least, "Sex Planet   I rest my case.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

Lenna's reign has ended.

May 29th, 2007: Leena's reign of terror ends.   I'm suprised this happened, to be honest. Sure, she's been banned before (and will probably return) but I'm suprised she lasted this long. She was a pain in the ass, and nobody but Matt Young liked her. She was a female version of MikeSC, only occasionaly funny, and also prone to start arguments. She also was incredibly insecure, with no known "friends" outside of myspace and this forum (some poeple actually liked her...God knows why.) She posted pictures of shit in WP threads, which was still less upsetting than WP. She pissed off Carlito Brigante, which was always funny.   And now she's gone.   I personally won't miss her. I stopped caring about her a long time ago. I did defend her once, but that was just to get to Oblivious Heel (who was that anyways?) So anything about her stopped interesting me.   So yeah, good riddence, or good bye, I guess.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

5
How To Vibrate
 

Crazy Preacher, Prince Harry, Season Finales, and Phelps

-Lately down at the quad at the university (it's by the library-I'm at Wright State, BTW) there has been this crazy preacher guy. I say he's crazy because he hates gays, Catholics, Liberals, and a host of the other usual suspects (insert joke by kkktookmybabyaway here). I haven't gotten to see him yet (a few of my friends have) but I've been wanting to, since I could use a good laugh. Also, he has about 15 or more people yelling at him, so I probably wouldn't have a word in.   There were also two old guys outside two days ago (same day as the crazy preacher) protesting the war. I kind of felt bad for them. I mean, two people? That's not too good.   -Fred Phelps is still at it (like you are suprised), ready to picket Jerry Falwells funeral (Phelps is one of the few people one Earth who almost makes Falwell look good-almost), and putting together a lovely video called God Hates the World.   -Remember when it was announced that Prince Harry was going to serve in Iraq? Think Again. I guess his family found out that war is dangerous. That out of the way, you knew there was no way in hell he was going to fight over there.   -Finally, tonight's the season finale of "The Office", which I'm looking forward to. What can i say, I love the show (especially Mindy Kaling, who plays the uber adorable Kelly Kapoor. To hell with Pam, I like Kelly)
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

28 Weeks Later, Kirk Cameron, and New Order

-I saw "28 Weeks Later" on Friday, and it's great. I'd dare to say that it's just as good as the first one. It's a bit more depressing than the fisrt one, since there is no hope in this one, unlike "28 Days Later", where there was some hope. Also, to quote Joe Bob Briggs, "Anyone can die at any moment." I like to call that the "Psycho" rule, since some people who you expect to live don't. I won't tell you who, you have to see for yourself.   -Remember when I ranted about Kirk Cameron and his jackass buddies on my rant last week? Well, he's still at it, trying to prove that God exists on ABC news. If you didn't see it, here's how it went: Cameron made an idiot of himself while giving shitty evangelical responses that you'd see from a televangelist, and the Athiest did the typical "make fundies look stupid" stuff while having the charisma of a snail. So basically, I learned nothing from it, though it once again shows that people from both sides can be annoying. You can see it on the ABC news website, and on Google video. Oh, the Kelly chick was hot though, and had really great tits.   That out of the way, I'm going to repeat myself in a way, but shut the fuck up Cameron. Nobody is trying to turn you into an Athiest, so drop the Goddamn persecution comples. Christians make up the majority when it comes to religion in the U.S., so nobodies persecuting you.   Also, have you ever noticed that these kinds of debates never teach us anything?   -New Order broke up. I would be upset, but let's face it, their last two albums were horrible, and it was pretty much about time to break up. So yeah, good for them.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Metal Albums I'm Enjoying

Let's face it, a lot of us like Metal. Sure, some of us don't admit it, and I never considered myself a diehard metal fan, but we do, be it Metallica or Maiden or Slayer or all of those. Anywho, here's some metal albums I've been enjoying so far, in no particular order.   Agalloch-Ashes Against the Grain-This is actually pretty awesome. It's black metal (never cared for most of it-or at least the Norweigen stuff) but it's great. It could best be described as Gorgoroth (without the cliche satanism) meets Katatonia meets Sigur Ros meets Pink Floyd meets My Bloody Valentine.   Mastodon-Leviathan and Blood Mountain-Holy shit, the drumming. If you claim to enjoy metal but don't like Mastodon, then you don't really enjoy metal. Seriously, give them a shot, they are fucking awesome. Hell, they let guys from the Mars Volta on Mountain, and they didn't ruin it. That's saying something.   Slayer-Reign in Blood-Need I say more?   Athiest-Unquestionable Prescence and Elements-Death Metal with jazz-inspired chord progressions. Not the only Death Metal band to do this, but one of the few to do it right. See also: Cynic's Focus, Gorgut's Obscura, and Pestilence's Spheres.   Sleep-Dopesmoker and Sleep's Holy Mountain-The Ultimate Stoner Metal albums, with riffs that are so sludgey, they roll like molasses. See also: Electric Wizard's Dopethrone.   Boris-Rainbow, Pink, and Amplifier Worship-Hell yes. The best Doom Metal band on the planet, and one of my favorite bands that are more recent. Rainbow is more psychedelic rock than metal, but it's still great.   Wolves in the Throne Room-Diadem of 12 Stars-Black metal that's really long (4 songs, a 60 minute album), but every minute counts. Contains elements of folk music, and bit of post rock.   Nachtmystium-Instinct: Decay-While it has the cliched low-fi production that annoys me, here's a Black Metal album that's still worth it. Featuring elements of psychedelia and post punk, it's pretty diverse. Oh, and the song "Chosen By No One" rules.   Sigh-Imaginary Sonicscape-Black Metal from Japan that's awesome. Sure, it's Black Metal, and it has the symphonic cliches, but it also has elements of psychedelia, electro, dub, jazz, and reggae. It's like Mr. Bungle if they did a Black Metal album, and it rules.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

4
How To Vibrate
 

Tarzan the Rapeman

-Well, the Queen visited thw Whitehouse today, and things went well from what I've heard. Right now, I'm pretty pissed off at Bush, but I'll leave that for another post.   -I haven't seen "Spiderman 3", but from what I've heard, I didn't miss much. Shrek the 3rd comes out next week, and to be honest with you, I don't care. I'm just doing what I can to not buy products with Shrek on them. I swear to God, the last one sponsered so many products that I'm suprised Shrek and Donkey didn't start shilling Maxipads.   "Wow Donkey, these new Maxipads work better than the old ones! They're so absorbent!" "Yeah Shrek, I haven't felt this fresh in a long time!"   Anyways, it made about $148 Million in the U.S. over the weekend. At least I have "28 Weeks Later" on Friday.   -Lately, I've been hearing about a bunch of Christians who feel threatened by notable Athiests, thinking that the likes of Richard Dawkins will try to convert their children. You know folks, I'm not an Athiest or Agnostic, but I'm sick of hearing these fundies cry over this shit. Seriously, why should anybody care whether or not somebody believes in God? I don't give a flying fuck if somebody's an Athiest, its not affecting me, and its not affectecting anybody else. Yet Kirk Cameron (remember him?) and his pals are feeling threatened. Get over it, none of these guys want to convert you into Atheism. Just because Christopher Hitchens (who's a Bush supporter from what I've heard) doesn't believe in God and writes a book that tells you why does not mean that he's trying to turn you into an Athiest.   Also, there was a Death Metal band named Athiest who were actually pretty good, and I normally can't stand Death Metal.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

5-3

05.) Chunky A-Large and In Charge What's the worst hip-hop album ever recorded? Why, it's Large and In charge, which is also the worst comedy album of all time. First, some backstory: Chunky A was actually Arsenio Hall, playing his overweight brother, who decided to cut this album. The result: The so bad it will make you want to kill yourself "Aaaaww!", bad parodies ("She Drives me Crazy" becomes "The Ho is Lazy." Weird Al he isn't), and "Dope: The Big Lie", which is the funniest anti-drug song ever recorded, simply because it is the one song on the album that tries to make a serious statement. Oh, and Ice-T and KRS-One appear on it (I'm suprised KRS is able to live this down) This OOP, and if you ever do find it, don't bother. It's so bad it doesn't even warrent a curiosity buy.   04.) Metallica-St. Anger A five year wait that wasn't worth it, St. Anger was intended to be not only the return of Metallica after Load (which while not perfect, is far from one of the worst albums ever recorded) and Reload (a bad album with a few good moments), but also the return of their older sound. That never happened. What we got instead was bad singing ("KILL! KILL! KILL!"), bad lyrics ("My Lifestyle determines my Deathstyle"), hardly any guitar solos, the song "Invisible Kid", self help lyrics, drums that sound like tin cans, and no idea what made Metallica what they are (or were) in the first place. If you ever wanted to know what a band taking a huge shit on their fans sounds like, here you go.   03.) Pink Floyd-A Momentary Lapse in Reason When Roger Waters left Pink Floyd, fans wondered if the band would ever do another album again. That happened-it just wasn't what most wanted. While it says it's a Pink Floyd album, it's basically a David Gilmour solo album. Sure, it has his trademark guitar work, but it also has bad attempts at Talking Heads like funk, songs that sound too much like Dave wants them to be a part of The Wall ("Sorrow"), really dated pieces of radio friendly bullshit ("Learning to Fly"), bad attempts to capture the past ("Signs of Life"), and meandering songs that go nowhere-which is where the whole album goes. It's the worst Pink Floyd album, and though it sold a whole lot of copies, it's not much an album as much as it is a disaster.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

4
How To Vibrate
 

I'm back, 32-30

-Well, kkktookmybabyaway told me to update my blog, so I am. He also says that C-Bacon is somehow responsible for helping me get it back online. For that I say: I know I rip on you alot, but thanks. I won't apolagize to you, but thanks a lot. For that, I'll leave you alone and put you off ignore...for a while.   Also, I turned 24 last week, I've got a lot of homework, and that's about it. Anyways, back to the countdown to the worst albums of all time.   32.) Burzum-Daudi Baldrs I always hated this band. I got in an arguement with Tack over them. I downloaded this once, and it sucked (as expected). The story behind this album: Varg Vikernes, apart from having a one man metal project named Burzum, was also a (brief) member of legendary Black Metal band Mayhem. At some point, he killed one of the band members, and was arrested by the police. When they searched his house, they found several explosives, as well as the fact that he's a Neo-Nazi and a church burner. While in jail, he couldn't afford guitars, bass, or drums anymore, and also decided to give up the instruments because they are "Black." He changed his style of music to make music that is more in tune with being Aryan-making shitty music on a casio keyboard (again all he could afford) made in Japan that sounds like a teenager trying to make symphonic music on a casio keyboard. Oh, and he didn't record this as a joke. That's right, he was seriously trying to make an artistic statement by recording with a cheap casio keyboard. That's all you need to know.   31.) Ministry-Filth Pig After Psalm 69, you'd think that the follow up would be incredible. Think again. This sounds like a Al Jourgenson and co. decided to record a Black Sabbath tribute with samples and drum machines. It's a lazy affair, devoid of any memorable moments (save for "Reload" and "The Fall"), and a horrible cover of Bob Dylan's "Lay Lady, Lay." This album was also recorded while Al was deep into heroin addiction, so if any album should be proof enough that heroin is bad, this is one of them.   30.) The Happy Mondays-Yes, Please Another band that I never liked, the Happy Mondays were a dance-rock band from the 80's-90's who were fueled on E and just dull. Their last album though, is just shitty. There's no interesting moments (unlike on say, Thrills, Pills, and Bellyaches, which at least had it's moments in songs like "Kinky Afro" and "Step On"), the lyrics are incredibly cringe inducing, and sounds too much like it's trying to keep up with then current trends (again with trying to stay with the times). The band got back together recently, and has a new album on the way, but I doubt it will be as bad as this one.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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