10 p.m.
• So whenever I’m on the computer JJ usually hops up and rolls around on the desk vying for attention or whatever he does.
Funny thing is this is the same cat that stays 10 feet away from me at all times unless I have this certain green linty blanket over myself (or if I just scraped out some earwax from my ear canal). Anyway, this evening I was scratching him on his side/belly, and I guess he didn’t take too kindly to that sort of thing so he began clawing me. Now even though this cat is rather powerful, he’s the biggest coward I’ve ever seen. When he tries to act tough in instances like this it’s a lesson in futility. You want to get hardcore, I’ll get hardcore. I began scratching his side with one hand while distracting him with my other hand, which was right in front of his face. The look of confusion he gave was priceless, and the only thing he could think of doing was batting the hand in front of him while unable to do anything about the hand that was actually violating his personal barrier. I’d say he’s a better lover than a fighter, but he’s neutered so he’s got the worst of both worlds.
Oh, and here's the aforementined "magic" blanket.
• Just to let you know, I heard my crack-whore sister-in-law wants to work as one of those tax people for H&R Block. She also wants to get this $3,000 trailer and move to this trailer park but can’t yet afford either the vehicle/home or the $200/month lot fee. She also told my mother-in-law that it’s her dream to have her boyfriend, her crack-whore daughter, the crack-whore daughter’s live-in boyfriend and have a happy holiday dinner. Did I mention the Christmas tree? Oh, and my welfare-collecting test-tube-kid-producing in-law relatives: the matriarch just told her welfare-collecting aunt (who got $10,000 worth of renovations done to her house compliments of my tax dollars and always seems to cater family events at said house) that she wants a Wii for Christmas. God poor people piss me off.
I might as well leave on a happy note: My brother-in-law and his family will have some "haunted trail" thing going on this weekend for the kids in his neighborhood, and I was recruited as one of the monsters, meaning I'll get to scare children and unlike other instances when I do so it will be perfectly acceptable.
7:45 p.m.
• So the BcS thingy came out this week and OMG some team that’s not USC, LSU or another representative from Big University is ranked second. Whatever. Look, you pro-bowl fuckwads keep saying the regular season is like one big playoff. Well, that Florida team is unbeaten. So quit yer bitchin’. They’ll lose soon enough and you fags can put some other Top 10 regular in its slot. If this team keeps on winning, then shut your piehole and revel in your REGULAR SEASON PLAYOFF~!
7 p.m.
• Time for more fun work stories. So the idiot boss turned an effective ad that my co-worker and I were working on and instead queered it up by demanding cartoony clip art instead of presentable stock photos. When I showed the better half what the idiot thought “looked good,” she burst into laughter and said, “It looks like something a 10-year-old would do.” Fittingly enough, we have been getting ZERO response on these ads. Anyway, last this most recent ad was in the hands of my capable supervisors on Wednesday, and I was to hear of a final draft by the end of the week. Friday came and went. No word. This ad was due today. I sent them all an e-mail on Sunday while in the office (just making sure I have documentation if I get questioned as to I “really was” on the job) letting them know this ad was due Monday. This morning I get an e-mail from the idiot asking me to – surprise -- print him another copy of this ad. Oh, yeah, we also found out today through an “informant” that when he becomes head honcho he plans to make my aforementioned co-worker into his own “department.” Uh, let’s not get too far, Tex. How about starting off slow, like, say, allowing him to utilize his marketing budget, which is only ¼ used because he’s not allowed to travel and bring in business. Oh, yeah. It’s been several months and we still haven’t replaced another co-worker who died because the idiot can’t find any “administrative professional” willing to work a shit job for a shit boss for $8/hour. Damn Bush economy.
Oh, yeah. My current head boss told another co-worker who's been working at this place for 20+ years that she makes more money than a publc school teacher. Yeah. If the teacher was back in 1950.
• So I just found out this cunt of a professor/advisor I had back in college just had her husband pass away. Sadly, my first thought was “Guess he couldn’t take any more and took the easy way out with cancer or heart disease.” Christ I’m such a horrible person.
11 p.m.
• Let’s see: Get into work at 10:30 a.m., leave at 9:15 p.m. Why the hell do I do this? Oh, yeah. Because whenever I’m here on the weekends, I won’t be there sometime during the week. That’s why. Besides, the drive home was great. No traffic, clear night, had the NLCS on ESPN radio. Only regret was missing my football games today and I didn’t get to go through my Sunday papers/coupons/etc. Oh well, that’s what tomorrow is for.
But the real fun began when I got home. No, Mrs. kkk wasn’t bitching at me for being at work all day – she was already asleep. The fun came about 30 minutes later when I realized my wedding ring wasn’t on my finger. The fuck? When did this happen? Good thing the better half is asleep. Time to backtrack. Did the ring fall in the sink’s drain when I washed my hands in the bathroom? I can’t remember if I still had it on at that time. I normally take it off and put it on the spice rack when doing the dishes. Problem was it wasn’t on the rack when I cleaned the dishes. Well the cats aren’t playing with anything shiny on the floor, so that’s a plus – but did the already bat it under a couch or major appliance? Yikes. Could it have fallen outside when I was on my way inside the house? No clue. Fuck. It’s been 30 minutes and I can’t find this goddamn thing. I’ve looked everywhere I’ve been so far tonight. The car, the walkway, the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room, the dining room, the bedroom. I’ve sifted through the garbage can, looked in several cabinets, peered down into the bathroom sink’s drain, and peered into a bunch of crevices. No luck. Wait a minute. What about my drawer in which I keep a bunch of useless shit, including my cell phone’s AC adapter, which I took into work with me today. When I opened the drawer I heard a “clink.” Oh thank God.
Now it’s time for bed.
7 p.m.
• So I'm roaming the wires, and this got a chuckle out of me. Two articles are next to each other, each with the same lead. The first headline reads:
and the second reads:
That's all I got.
• I just heard on the television that not only is the "Caveman" show still on, but now the next show will introduce the first CaveWOMAN~! Find the people watching this shit and sterilize them. NOW.
7 p.m.
• Oh boy, western Pennsylvania.
The long-standing rivalry between Coke and Pepsi took a physical turn Friday when a Pepsi deliveryman allegedly punched his Coke counterpart in the face at a western Pennsylvania Wal-Mart, state police said.
Could this be in my neck of the woods?
Nuts. Indiana is to the east of me. Oh well, maybe next time.
10:15 a.m.
• I just got done watching part of the “Fast Food Nation” and boy was I not disappointed (when I feel motivated, I'm going to have to check out IMDB's message board section about this masterpiece). I read bits of the hippie book, and while thumbing through its pages I thought “Boy I sure wish they would make a movie out of this.” If you want a laugh, check it out. My only regret was that Esai Morales and Bruce Willis were in it. Esai I understand because I’m under no pretenses that the guy’s a commie. However, I like him anyway. I didn’t see Bruce’s character, so I at least hope he played some evil greedy right-wing corporate exec. Otherwise, when I saw his name in the credits I went, “Why Bruce why?” Like I said before, I didn’t see this genius in its entirety, but I saw enough. Slaughterhouses, corporate greed, oppressing the underclass and invaders undocumented American citizens, pseudo-hippies. “Well I can't think of anything right now more patriotic than violating the Patriot Act!” Fuck you Paco. My name translates into Paco in Spanish, too, and you’re no Paco. Well, actually Paco is a “nickname” of my formal wetback name, but whatever. I remember back in middle school there was some “rhyme” in Spanish that involved the word Paco, and I was the only one in my grade who could say the entire verse in less than 3.5 seconds. This of course didn’t take away from the fact I HATED that class and failed. Then again, I failed a bunch of classes back in my middle school days. I had the same teacher for my Francais class the year after, and I flunked that, too. Christ, was I a miserable little shit back then. Two years later when I was in high school I was studying Francais yet again just before a girl’s volleyball contest when my former aforementioned teacher, who was sitting in front of me, made some remark about my studying, and at that moment I just smiled and thought, “How the hell did she put up with me back then?”
Where was I going with this? Ohhhh, shiny object.
10:15 p.m.
• Yeah, I know there's more to this story, but the lead paragraph just sounds funny to me.
9:15 p.m.
• So on the way home from work today we were driving through the black people part of the trip and went past some guy with a colorful jacket that featured patches of each NBA team sewed on. I didn’t notice it because I was too busy looking at traffic and shit, but Mrs. kkk did. The following conversation ensued. You can figure out who is who.
Hey look, it’s Jamal and the multi-colored robe.
Huh?
You know, Joseph and the multi-colored robe? From the Bible?
What?
You don’t know the story of Joseph and the multi-colored robe? The one where he gets sold into slavery by his brothers and they tear up his robe to show to their father?
The fuck?
*Goes on to tell the story up to the point where the robe is returned to dad*
Jesus Christ that’s depressing. Did Joseph at least get his revenge?
I don’t remember, but I think the story is about forgiveness.
Fuck that shit. I’d be pissed.
Well, his bones got returned back home with Moses.
I thought Moses didn’t make it back because God fucked him over about something.
That’s correct … sort of.
What exactly did Moses do?
He was trying to get water from hitting a rock. God said to do it one time and he did it twice.
That’s it?!
Yes. God said that showed a lack of faith on Moses’ behalf.
So he roams around in the desert for 40 fucking years, and God doesn’t believe he’s of faith? No wonder God’s a Jew.
What?
When it came time to pay the bill for Moses, God Jewed him, "Thanks for all your years of service, Moses, but you violated Page 490, Section XL, Article 4a, line 20 of our agreement. No promised land for you." If God tried to Jew me like that, I’d send all his people away to Detroit.
Why am I talking about the Bible with you?
Because you commented on Jamal’s mulit-colored coat.
THE END
That coat was pimp, too, what with the old Hawks logo. Jamal's, not Joseph's.
8:30 p.m.
• So earlier today I became one of “those customers.” I was going out for a few things, and I decided to get one of these new burrito things that Taco Bells was pimping. You know, the one with the “I’ll stop the world and melt with you” ads. Hey, it’s got meat, cheese and sour cream – can’t be all that bad. Problem is, when I approached the drive-thru I couldn’t remember what this product was called. No problem. There will probably be a sign or ad pimping this new item. No such luck – some hippie crap about putting chili on nachos. Now the drive-thru speaker lady is talking. Fuck. Scan that menu. It has to be on there. Nothing. Oh Christ, I have to say it.
“Can I get that burrito that’s been advertised a lot lately?”
“You mean the Cheesy Beefy Melt? Do you want that in a combo?”
Grilled stuffed burrito. Sonofabitch. Oh well, it was worth the humiliation. Well, I wasn't as bad as the old lady at the Burger King drive-thru years ago asking my co-worker if we had fish sticks or macaroni, among the dozen-plus other items we didn't have because she hadn't left her house since the Truman administration (it was a Lenten Friday -- God did those shifts suck).
• Swift Terror brought up Land of the Dead, and it finally forced me to think back to when I saw it a few months back. I liked it. I’m not what you consider a zombie movie fan. I have nothing against them, but I’m nowhere near a fanatic like some others are with this genre. Then again, if that’s what they like to see, then more power to them. Anyway, the whole “Dead” film series is mostly “eh” to me. “Night” was there, and it’s probably my favorite of the three. I never really cared for “Dawn,” and “Day” was OK. I remember as a kid a classmate always saying, “Fucking ‘a, biggest piece of meat in the cave,” and never knew where he got it from. So with this in mind, I always had “Land” pegged as one of those movies that I was in no hurry to see but wanted to get around to doing so before dying. Well now I can rest in peace, I guess. Wasn’t too bad. Yeah, it was a bit cheesy with the whole zombies-of-the-world-unite thing going, and I’m sure there’s some social commentary with the whole “Uniontown” thing that I missed because I’m an evil right-winger. However, there is an actual Uniontown about an hour or so from Shittsburgh, or whatever the city was called in the movie, so I’ll give this a pass.
• So the better half has been sporadically watching that Bret Michaels Flavor-of-Love rip-off every now and then, and this evening she had the FINAL DECISION EPISODE on. Long story short: this guy had to choose from the stripper and the psycho. Longer story shorter: Bret couldn’t decide between these two up until the very end, so he asked each if they wouldn’t mind sharing him with the other. The stripper said sure, the psycho said no. The psycho won. Jesus Christ how stupid can some people be? And if you’re looking for “true love,” wouldn’t you know before asking two chicks if they wouldn’t mind being part of a threesome? I just pray everyone on that show doesn’t vote.
• Al Gore got a Nobel Prize. Yay, and stuff.
What a prestigious award. Too bad Arafat’s dead – they could have been BFF.
• Uh oh, don’t you know that …well, whatever the hell is going on here…
…is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male?
8:45 p.m.
• For as much as I want to goof on Joe Pa and Sappy Valley, I must say I’m impressed.
At least he didn’t blame the brake pedal for making his vehicle go twice as fast as it plowed into a car/pole/building. I saw him once while living in this shit hole. I was at an ATM machine and he was walking buy. Some guy said something to him and when he replied I turned and saw him. Uh, yay and stuff.
• So I finally got around to seeing “Wishmaster 2.” I liked it, especially with that goofy white guy being the “costume” for the bad guy. Please note I liked it due to the sheer awfulness of the whole thing. God, I have so many bad horror movies saved up on my DVR it’s not even funny. But do know what was funny? This.
“The South Will Rise Again.”
And sometimes, the IMDB reviews are funnier than any script out there.
10:15 p.m.
• So I had the Pitt/Navy game on for a bit tonight. My God how does Lou Holtz have a broadcasting job? And how can executives listen to him and think, "yeah, people would want to hear this"? He could get shit-faced before going on-air and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. How could his players take anything he said seriously?
7 p.m.
• You know what got me irked about Matt Leinart? His whining about not playing quarterback full-time. I’m sure it’s an ego thing and shit, but Kurt Warner was playing better than you; be thankful you were in a situation where you had a teammate that didn’t mind splitting time with his inferior (at least this is how it seemed outside of the locker room).
Aw, too bad.
• I’m not a Yankee hater, but can we focus on the teams still in contention for a World Series championship?
• See, who cares about all this SCHIP contraversery? It’s not like the little bastards are getting decent care anyway.
You know what this means ... FREEGOVERNMENTHEALTHCARE.
Wait a second, what's this in the next paragraph?
• Speaking of losers, my crack-whore niece-in-law tried offing herself again this past weekend. Then again, telling her boyfriend-of-the-month via text that she took a bunch of sleeping pills probably isn’t the best way to fade out into a permanent slumber. God, just die already.
9:30 p.m.
• So we went grocery shopping tonight, and we were by the meat section. I was eyeing up some 92 percent lean ground beef on sale when some old broad starting bitching about the price of pig's bone, or whatever the hell that shit was. She then started bitching to me and the better half about how you have to be a "millionaire" in order to feed your family. It took every fiber of my being to hold back, and Mrs. kkk took the brunt of this "back in my day" shit because she knew I was about to piss someone off big time. You know, if you're trying to feed your family, I don't think you'd be buying a BONE.
2:15 p.m.
• Call me John Kerry on this issue, but I really don’t fault either Trent Green or Travis Johnson for their actions in Sunday’s game. Here’s the story.
From what I have heard, and according to the article above, Green threw a legal block, but a player getting cut like that could suffer a season-ending injury. So when the defensive player starts yelling at the downed quarterback right after the play, I don’t blame him one bit for doing so. And that “scarecrow” quote is my line of the week.
If the NFL really wants to do something to better the league, then they should do something about cut-blocking, or whatever it’s called, instead of teams calling “time out” right before the other team’s kicker boots a pigskin through the uprights.
On and regarding Keith Olberman, would he have called Green THE WORST PERSON IN THE NFL if Johnson would have been carted off and the Dolphins quarterback got up without a scratch?
11:45 a.m.
• Long story short: So the idiot boss is the head of some publicity/marketing committee that is putting some event together outside of work. Now my co-worker and I know this guy who is part of planning for this event (which is doomed for failure), and our “deep throat” told us that our boss volunteered to head up this committee because he “has connections” within the media. Guess what I got 20 minutes ago? An e-mail from said idiot. What was the e-mail about? Him asking for my list of local media contacts. Yeah, he’s got connections alright. Oh, and speaking of publicity, he hasn’t given me any information about this event for publication in our mailing material, and the next mailing will be going out after this event’s RSVP deadline. God I love this place.
7:30 p.m.
• So sfaJack is having to do some painting or whatever because the Cubs lost. It's amazing what our better halves want to do with the places they live at. Like I said the other day in my entry about those people buying houses just to tear half of it down, why bother? I remember when house-shopping with Mrs. kkk I wanted to do the least amount of renovating possible due to being a lazy bastard. Well, when we settled on our house I was quite glad the amount of refurbishing was minimal. We got new carpeting for the upstairs, but that shit needed a face-lift. Otherwise, I've done jack shit. Mrs. kkk on the other hand...
The highlight of her meddling came regarding our first-floor bathroom. I've mentioned before that she repainted this room from a pleasing brisk blue to a shit brown, and she did this when I was out of state for a few days on business. Of course she didn't get the project complete, so imagine my pleasant surprise when, after driving 5+ hours and having to take a monster poop, I ventured in the house and saw plastic all over the place and a ladder in the middle of the bathroom's walkway. Thank God for upstairs toilets. Oh, and here's said bathroom.
Now why would some do such a thing? One reason was so it would match our towels~! The second was so she could stencil this shit on the wall.
I may have talked about this before, but the search function is busted. If you heard this story already, blame Mole.
Why do I have no desire to make home improvements? I said above that I’m lazy, but there’s some probably some childhood trauma I have to consider, too. When I was a kid, my parents bought some big-ass three story house that my dad said they couldn’t afford. My mom busted out the tears and they got the house. I was a kid at the time, but this house needed a shitload of work, and boy did my old man work on this residence. I remember him remodeling the third floor and doing a bunch of stuff with paint, wires and other stuff that’s found inside of walls. What was his reward for all this? A divorce that saw my mom sell the house. Ouch.
11:45 p.m.
• Some of this stuff made me chuckle. That's all I got. Just Google the headline if you want a source.
8:30 p.m.
• So this weekend I saw some MSNBC pseudo-“To Catch a Predator” thing that dealt with child sex shops in Asia. Holy Christ was that messed up. Eight-year-olds promising blowjobs you’d like or your money back. Funny thing was they busted some guy from Oklahoma. He was giving the undercover guy there some “tips” on how to get away with banging kids, and when he was confronted on this back in the States (actually, it was Guam but whatever) you could see his face turn pale once he found out he was busted. Anyway, after this show was some “American Runaways” show, where these idiot teens were homeless, despite having ample opportunity to get housing. My favorite was some trans-sexual/gender who got booted out of her government-funded apartment because he/she couldn’t follow the rules. You know, oppressive things like get a job interview, visit a food pantry and not bringing Johns back to the pad for prostitution. And I’m supposed to feel bad for these people?
12:30 p.m.
• So we went to see Ron White last night. Eh. Why the hell were people laughing at material he has already sold on millions upon millions of DVDs? Oh well, if it makes them go home happy, then so be it. Actually, there were several events that happened earlier in the day that made me laugh even more than the two hours I sat at the Benedum Center.
Before leaving for this event, Mrs. kkk and I were watching some house show where several people buy houses and the former owners talk about what they liked about their houses and the new owners talk about all the wholesale changes they are going to do to said living residences. This episode centered around several people from New Jersey. Enough said. Jesus were these people annoying. But what got me laughing was that some of these families were getting their houses and making serious changes to it. I’m not talking about a new carpet here and a new paint job there. This one family totally flattened the second floor to the two-story house they purchased. My question is if you’re going to do this kind of remodeling, wouldn’t it have been easier to just find a different house? This couple bought the house for $500,000 and they had a $150,000 budget to remodel. You know what I would do with a $150,000 budget to make remodeling adjustments? I’d buy a big television, PAY OFF my house and put the rest of the money in the bank. Oh well, it’s not my money.
After watching this show, we left for downtown Shittsburgh for dinner. Mrs. kkk took me to the Hard Rock Cafe – the first time I’ve ever been in one of these. Overpriced food, but whatever. This was her plan. What was funny is that she made reservations so when we got there we only had a 5-10 minute wait. While waiting, there were a handful of groups, ranging from 2-8 that tried to get seated only to be told there was an approximate 30-minute wait. Uh, people, this is a SATURDAY EVENING in one of the more happening parts of an urban center. Do you expect to get immediate seating? The best moment came with the family of 8 learning that there would be a considerable wait and the husband/dad threw his arms up in the air. Yeah, that’ll do something. Jackass. There was another group of young people who must have been doing something homecoming-related that went in and out in a matter of minutes. Seriously, RESERVATIONS. They are your friend.
10 a.m.
• So about a week ago we bought a new comforter at Targert on clearance. I was a little skeptical about this keeping the better half warm, especially it wasn’t as “thick” as our current comforter, which is on is last legs. However, I must say this mo fo’ is doing the job. Several times already I’ve woken up in a sweat due to this thing. The real test will come in January, but for now it’s coming through with flying colors. When we were at Target, I suggested getting two or three of these comforters because they were on clearance. Mrs. kkk said “Why would we need more than one?” Well this morning JJ threw up on this dry-clean only comforter. Guess where we are going later today? Yep.
9:30 p.m.
• I don't know if this guy was any good at his job, but not a "cultural fit." What, was he a Republican?
9:30 p.m.
• The hell?
I always thought he was Mormon, not Jewish.
Back to reality.
• It’s funny how your opinion about an album can change over the years. Take for example the first disc of 2Pac’s “All Eyes On Me.” Oh, I’m sorry, “All Eyez On Me.” When I first got this album back in 1996, my favorite tracks were “All About U,” “Life Goes On” and “No More Pain.” However, whenever I put this disc in I’ve found myself leaning more toward “2 of Amerikaz Most Wanted” and “Heartz of Men.” Man, I remember back when this album first came out “Life Goes On” was blasting in just about every car/jeep in my corner of suburbia. Thuggin’ ain’t easy. If you ain’t home in time from playing gangsta you’d get grounded. Odd thing is I can’t remember the last time I’ve listened to the second disc of this album. Same goes for the “Remember Me” double-LP that came out after Pac died. Now that I think about it, I can’t recall the last time I’ve listened to a second disc of multi-LP. Let me scan through my CDs.
…
There’s that Ramones compliation and the ACDC Live album, but I forgot all about Rush’s three-disc Chronicles concert album. Damn that was one good purchase.
8:15 p.m.
• Week 5, look alive.
(3.5) Arizona @ St. Louis
I have no reason other than that the Cards had a big win last week, and the Rams have to win sometime – or at least lose by three.
Atlanta @ Tennessee (8.5)
Do I think the Falcons will win? No. I just think the Titans won’t win by a lot.
Carolina @ New Orleans (3.5)
OK, what do I do here? Both teams have fucked me over so far this year. I guess I’ll go with the Saints because the Panthers have boned me more, so now I have to give the Saints a chance to play catch up.
Cleveland @ New England (16.5)
The Pats have to slip up one of these weeks, but I might as well ride this horse until it breaks a leg or two.
Detroit @ Washington (3.5)
Hmm, the red people screwed me over against the Giants, but this should be the time of the season when the Lions start showing us why they get so many high first-round picks.
(2.5) Jacksonville @ Kansas City
For some reason I think this is a steal. Someone from Jacksonville must be hurt or something.
Miami @ Houston (5.5)
Wow. I was about to go with Miami under the “they must win sometime” rule, but why bother. I kinda feel for Joey Porter playing on a shit team like this, but he’s got his ring and he’s got his money. I just hope he doesn’t suffer some terrible injury while finishing out his career.
N.Y. Jets @ N.Y. Giants (3.5)
I wonder how much of a home-field advantage the Giants have this game?
Seattle @ Pittsburgh (5.5)
Hines Ward is out, as is a few other starters. Maybe now Seattle will stop bitching about the Super Bowl. Yeah, the officials hosed you, but you guys lost. Game over. Steelers will score 21.
Tampa Bay @ Indianapolis (10.5)
My first hunch was to go with the Bucs. I decided against it. Let’s see if I should have went with my first instinct.
(3.5) Baltimore @ San Francisco
Bummer. And I thought the 49ers were going to take things to the next level. Oh well.
San Diego @ Denver (1.5)
OK, I’m tired of waiting for the Chargers to turn things around.
Chicago @ Green Bay (3.5)
I am really tempted to go with the Bears on this one. The Packers are coming off a big week, and this is a divisional game. However, I heard a few people are out on the Bears defense.
(10.5) Dallas @ Buffalo
LOL – this is the MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL game? Boy did ESPN get dicked over this “Monday Night” agreement. The only two things I can think of in a positive light regarding this abortion that takes place every Monday night is Ron Jaworski – I like him. Plus the game is on at an earlier time.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 8: Ripper
Wha-? Rippers #8? That’s right n*ggaros and n*ggahoes. Actually, he was first pegged in the teens, but thanks to a few bonus points for diversity concerns he moved up, knocking a few crackers down in the process (figuratively and literally). Ripper and I didn't exactly get off to the best of starts, but over time he realized that I was nothing more than some dopey white guy that, like him, didn’t care too much for stick figures. Now even though there are still a number of important issues we don’t agree on, I can deal with most of them. (If he wants to be daddy to some kid that’s not his then who am I to stop him?) Besides, there are so many other things we can find common ground on – like saving kitties and keeping bathroom habits out of the bedroom. However, for the last time, black people don't tip. That's a fact. And pork chops dipped into applesauce is hella good.
9 p.m.
• Christ. I heard on the radio tonight that cub scout badges are now being recalled due to lead from ... China. Forget about forming a better army, all these people have to do is fuck with our consumer goods.
5 p.m.
• Normally I don’t remember my dreams, but last night’s was a doozy. Well, not really – but I remembered it. I was in this classroom with a few other people I had never seen before. Then Michael Savage comes in and says we have to read our homework assignments to the class. Seeing how I wasn’t around when the homework assignments were given out, I was a little perturbed. After all, I don’t want him to get mad and tell me to die of the AIDS. A few people were to go before me, and from what I heard it seemed that this assignment was to take a person we liked and a person we didn’t like and explain our feelings toward both. When it was my turn I took a blank sheet of paper and pretended like I was reading from that. I began ad-libbing, hoping to make this shit up as I went along. Because I didn’t have time to pick a person I liked and a person I didn’t like, I went with a SWERVE~! And said I was going to take one person and explain what I liked and didn’t like about this subject. My person: Bud Selig.
I started with “Good Bud.” I liked the wild card, which made the baseball playoffs more exciting. Also, it allowed more cities to catch the pennant fever in September and gave teams with good seasons the chance to play onward through October. Savage chuckled. I added that attendance has gone up and revenues have been solid, especially considering the state of America’s National Pastime back in the mid-1990s. Then I talked about “Bad Bud,” which got yet another chuckle out of Savage. I didn’t like inter-league play and the Commissioner’s office treating Barry Bonds like he was the only player who roided up during the past decade. The fact Bud turned a blind eye to when home runs were shooting out of ballparks in the late 1990s only made him look worse when he acted like the end-all solution to baseball’s steroid problem was with Bonds.
It was about this time that my alarm clock went off, and instead of hitting the snooze button 20 times like I normally do I decided to get the hell out of this unconscious state. Sadly, I’ll never know what my grade ended up being. He seemed interested in the topic, although I think he also knew I was making this shit up as I went along. When compared to the other students that read their reports, I deserved the top grade – at least a B+ if I was to be penalized for, you know, not actually doing the assignment.
• In other news, I think I caught a chick checking me out today at a red light. Her windows must have been tinted from the inside.
1 p.m.
• Yeah, because no gal EVER wants her dad to give her away at her wedding.
Christ, when I started dating the future Mrs. kkk 10+ years ago I saw this book with a list of her future flower girls, ring bearers and all that other shit that people do at weddings.
10 p.m.
• This is why I didn't major in math.
9 p.m.
• The hell's wrong with people.
• So I guess the lesson here is if you bust black people breaking the law, you're a RACIST.
4:30 p.m.
• Gee, you can’t tell this dipshit used to be a high-ranking politician.
Jimmy Carter flexing his muscles. Weird.
• So I was listening to Mike and Mike this morning, and the skinny Jew was bitching about the MLB playoff games being on TBS because that means some kid whose family didn’t have cable couldn’t watch the games on television. That’s what a radio is for. Besides, I remember a few years ago there was bitching about the games being on too many stations – FX, some family channel, TBS (I think). So shut the fuck up already. Having today’s games on TBS is fine. And if some poor family can’t afford cable, they should be working more anyway. Poor people piss me off.
9:30 p.m.
• There are times when you read something and another thought from long ago pops up. That happened with a recent Drudge headline. When I saw this:
I thought back to an old Willie D song with the following verse:
Weird.
7:30 p.m.
• So I was reading Jack's blog and I remembered that the MLB playoffs are coming up. Seeing how I batted a perfect 1.000 last year (not getting a single matchup correct in the first round), I might as well do this again. Because I don't want anyone accusing me of copying Mr. SFA, I stopped reading his entry and decided to do my picks before continuing Notes From Cubicle 348J3-29$43*903=284A9@0sP. Let's see:
NLDS:
Cubs v. Diamondbacks
Fuck, I dunno. I'm kinda rooting for the Cubs just so they can win without Racist Dusty. I'm sure Lou will play a lot of white guys when the weather turns cold. However, I totally screwed up my pre-season prediction of the D-backs, so I'll go with them. On second thought, I want to talk about Steve Bartman later on. How's that you stat freaks? D-backs in 4 Cubs in 5.
Rockies v. Phillies
Both teams played good, and fuck Philadelphia for screwing up my contest with Al Keiper. I might as well jinx these faggots and pick them to move on. Phillies in 3.
NLCS:
Cubs v. Phillies
Great. Two liberal towns. I don't know much about the Daly machine, and Philly gave me Fast Eddie. Kiss my ass Phillies. I heard Chicago is talking about jacking the sales tax up to the highest in the country, but I don't live there so what do I care? Besides, you live in a blue state, you deserve what you get. Wait, I live in Pennsylvania. Sonofabitch. Cubs in 7.
ALDS:
Angels v. Sox
I actually like the Angels, but I heard that roided-up Gary Jr. is hurt. For shame. Hey, I'm actually making a guess based on baseball news. Sox in 3.
Yankees v. Indians
Cleveland. Pfft. Come on A-Rod, hit the goddamn ball in the postseason. I'm one of your biggest supporters, so don't punk out on me. Hell, Barry Bonds played solid when the Giants went to the Big Show earlier this decade. You can do it, too. I'm sure the Indians are the better team, but the East Coast Bias will make sure we get Yanks vs. Sox Part 3498209. Yankees in 4.
ALCS:
New York Yankees v. Boston Red Sox.
I want the Yanks to win just because they get branded with that evil empire shit. Fuck that. George S. wants to win, so let the man spend his money. Hell, if the Pirates got a TV deal like the Yankees have, those Jews will just pocket all the money anyway. I would have went for the Sox to win, but since they broke their hex a few years ago, that would be no fun to pick. I want the Yankees to move on, but if I pick them that would spell certain doom. Then again, I picked them in the first round so they're probably fucked already. No matter. Sox in 6.
WORLD SERIES:
Cubs v. Sox
Just to give the middle finger to Racist Dusty and to let Steve Bartman off the hook, I'll go with the Cubs. Now I get joking around with the "die Bartman" jokes, but if there are any Cubs fans legit mad, then you losers deserve a team that hasn't won shit for God knows how long. The only good thing to come out of this Bartman thing was when some Howard Stern caller got on SportsCenter and punked out the network. Cubs in 6.
Hey, Jack and I picked the same team to win it all. I bet our reasons why are similar, too.
4:30 p.m.
• You know you could just move up there. Yeah, I know, political statement and all.
I've seen some of the women up in Canada. She's got her work cut out for her. Please note that's a compliment for the femmes north of the border.
7 a.m.
• While Smues is talking about technological gizmos to improve his job, let me tell you one gadget that I need on my job: fingers. Fingers to stuff envelopes. Yes, instead of investing in a stuffing machine or outsourcing the labor, every three months my employers give us a big ol’ stack of envelopes to stuff. And of course even though I know these stuffings are coming, I never get told of them until after there’s a stack under my in-box. Why am I talking about this now? Because today was supposed to be an envelope-stuffing day. That is until I discovered THE ENVELOPES WE USE TO STUFF OUR FINANCIAL STATEMENTS IN ARE OUT OF STOCK! Then again, it's possible the person who has to order the envelopes wasn't told of this quarter's great envelope stuffing drive. Once again, I repeat: How does this place manage to stay in business? Then
6:15 p.m.
• Well we donated blood at a local church for some kid with leukemia and afterward, Mrs. kkk fainted. This of course caused a scene much like the shit you see on any medical drama, only less intense. And with uglier nurses. Always got to cause I scene. She’ll live. What was more dramatic was when I thought there might be some trouble with the computer, only to discover I needed the mouse replaced. I’m such a techie.
I also took the day off work hoping to get in some good video-gaming, only to discover the better half decided to take a “me day,” too. Fuck. The only thing worse than when this happens is on Sunday when I have the football games on while doing odds ‘n ends around the house and I get to listen to her bitch “Is this all you’re going to do today?” Let’s see, what did I do yesterday while the games were on: Made 40 bottles of Crystal Light. Clipped and sorted through coupons. Did three loads of laundry. Exercised for 90 minutes. Computed the monthly budget where I document everything we spent and everything we earned. Made dinner. What did she do? Watch “Lord of the Rings.” Married life, folks. Someday this will be you typing.
3 p.m.
• So Swift Terror was bitching about the new Jew tactic teams are doing at the end of games when a field goal kicker is about to boot the pigskin and the opposing coach calls “time out.” I don’t really see the big deal. Yeah, it’s lame, but like Mr. Terror said, just wait until the “timed-out” kick goes wide right and the mulligan goes through the uprights. If the NCAA and NFL want to “ban” this, then whatever. The only thing I object to is the potential for injury when play is stopped right when the ball is snapped. Just let them play out the down and let them know a time out was called before the play. Besides, teams should know by now that the opposing coach will probably employ this strategy and just treat the whole thing as a warm-up routine. But to get “offended” over all this, which is what I’ve seen on a few ESPN/NFL pre-game shows, is just a bit too much.
10:30 a.m.
So when the baseball season began Al Keiper and I made predictions as to win totals for each baseball team. Time to see the damage. Teams in bold were correct predictions. Actual wins are in ().
Al kkk-eiper's picks
NL EAST
Philadelphia Phillies 88.5 UNDER (89)
New York Mets 88.0 OVER (88)
Atlanta Braves 81.5 OVER (84)
Washington Nationals 66.5 OVER (73)
Florida Marlins 78.5 UNDER (71)
NL CENTRAL
Chicago Cubs 85.5 UNDER (85)
Milwaukee Brewers 81.5 UNDER (83)
St Louis Cardinals 84.5 OVER (78)
Houston Astros 78.5 OVER (73)
Cincinnati Reds 76.5 UNDER (72)
Pittsburgh Pirates 71.5 UNDER (68)
NL WEST
Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 UNDER (90)
Colorado Rockies 74.5 OVER (89)
San Diego Padres 84.0 OVER (89)
Los Angeles Dodgers 88.5 OVER (82)
San Francisco Giants 81.5 OVER (71)
AL EAST
Boston Red Sox 90.5 OVER (96)
New York Yankees 97.0 UNDER (94)
Toronto Blue Jays 86.5 UNDER (83)
Baltimore Orioles 73.5 UNDER (69)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays 67.0 UNDER (66)
AL CENTRAL
Cleveland Indians 84.5 UNDER (96)
Detroit Tigers 87.5 UNDER (88)
Minnesota Twins 83.5 UNDER (79)
Chicago White Sox 86.5 OVER (72)
Kansas City Royals 67.5 UNDER (69)
AL WEST
Los Angeles Angels 89.5 UNDER (94)
Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88)
Oakland Athletics 84.5 OVER (76)
Texas Rangers 81.5 UNDER (75)
Total Correct = 15
Al Keiper's picks
NL EAST
New York Mets 88.0 OVER (88)
Atlanta Braves 81.5 OVER (84)
Philadelphia Phillies 88.5 UNDER (89)
Florida Marlins 78.5 UNDER (71)
Washington Nationals 66.5 UNDER (73)
NL CENTRAL
Chicago Cubs 85.5 UNDER (85)
Milwaukee Brewers 81.5 OVER (83)
St Louis Cardinals 84.5 OVER (78)
Houston Astros 78.5 UNDER (73)
Cincinnati Reds 76.5 OVER (72)
Pittsburgh Pirates 71.5 OVER (68)
NL WEST
Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 OVER (90)
Colorado Rockies 74.5 OVER (89)
San Diego Padres 84.0 UNDER (89)
Los Angeles Dodgers 88.5 UNDER (82)
San Francisco Giants 81.5 UNDER (71)
AL EAST
Boston Red Sox 90.5 OVER (96)
New York Yankees 97.0 UNDER (94)
Toronto Blue Jays 86.5 UNDER (83)
Baltimore Orioles 73.5 OVER (69)
Tampa Bay Devil Rays 67.0 OVER (66)
AL CENTRAL
Cleveland Indians 84.5 OVER (96)
Detroit Tigers 87.5 UNDER (88)
Minnesota Twins 83.5 OVER (79)
Chicago White Sox 86.5 UNDER (72)
Kansas City Royals 67.5 OVER (69)
AL WEST
Los Angeles Angels 89.5 OVER (94)
Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88)
Oakland Athletics 84.5 OVER (76)
Texas Rangers 81.5 OVER (75)
Total Picks = 16
Now I guess I could say that if I would have gotten just one of the 15 incorrect picks right, then I would have tied our board's baseball expert, but I'd rather make it sound more dramatic. If the Phillies would have lost just one more game we would have tied! Yeah, that sounds much better than pointing out some of my gems:
Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 UNDER (90)
Cleveland Indians 84.5 UNDER (96)
Chicago White Sox 86.5 OVER (72)
Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88)
9:45 a.m.
• OK, time for this week’s NFL pickkks:
(4.5) Baltimore @ Cleveland
Hmm, will the former Browns tear shit up or will the Browns give them a game? If I go with last year’s divisional winner getting the ship straight, then they won’t. If I go the other way, this will be the Week 1 Browns that had four different penalties on one play, not the Week 2 team that scored 50+ points. The Ravens secondary is better than Bengals. I’ll go with the former.
(3.5) Chicago @ Detroit
Shit, another similar conundrum. Will having a new quarterback spark the Bears or will the Lions play them tougher than they did with the Eagles last week? I’ll go with the latter in this case.
(2.5) Green Bay @ Minnesota
I have a feeling this one will bit me in the ass. I typically go with the Vikings at home against Favre, but I heard some stat on “Around the Horn” earlier in the week about the Packers quarterback having good games at Minnesota the last few years.
(3.5) Houston @ Atlanta
The Falcons didn’t play that bad last week, did they?
(3.5) N.Y. Jets @ Buffalo
I have no reason for this one.
Oakland @ Miami (4.5)
I don’t even know if the Dolphins have won a game this year. I just chalk it up to another selection for no reason.
St. Louis @ Dallas (13.5)
Even though this has all the makings of a “let down” game, the Cowboys have been blowing out teams they should be beating this year. Why change now?
(2.5) Seattle @ San Francisco
Normally I give the division champ the benefit of the doubt, but here’s hoping this will be the “changing of the guard” over in the NFC West. I’m tired of the Seahawks finishing first over there.
Tampa Bay @ Carolina (3.5)
I thought picking up David Carr was a good move, but I’m wondering if he’ll need a week or three to get into the Panther groove. I’m hoping the Carolina defense can hold the fort until then.
Denver @ Indianapolis (9.5)
I was going to go with Indy, but called an audible at the line of scrimmage. Oh I hope this doesn’t come back to haunt me.
Kansas City @ San Diego (12.5)
I don’t like the spread, but if there ever was a game for the Chargers to get back on the winning track, it’s this one.
(6.5) Pittsburgh @ Arizona
I have no stats for this one. It’s been my experience that the Steelers always have trouble at Arizona.
(2.5) Philadelphia @ N.Y. Giants
I’m still pissed at that Giants win last week. Go Donovan.
(7.5) New England @ Cincinnati
Only 7.5 points against a defense that gave up 50+ to the Browns? Sign me up.
4:15 a.m.
• Better late than never I guess, you academic asshole.
• Earlier today I watched ESPN's college football show for the first time. I might watch future episodes. My favorite part was the sign in the background that read "Lou Holtz for Prethadent." Man that's cold. "O.J. stole my tickets" finished second, but I've watched too many wrestling shows in my lifetime that had similar signs in the crowd. I hate to say it, but for the past year or so I've gotten more interested in watching college football. I don't actually care about any of the teams (although I wanted Texas to beat USC a few years ago), and the fact there's no official playoff system makes these contests nothing more than exhibition games, but in regards to just to "watching football," it's been a surprisingly enjoyable experience.
8:45 a.m.
• So recently some college football coach went off on a columnist for writing a mean column about his one player.
Here’s the column in question.
I’m rather indifferent on if the coach should have called out this columnist – the PTI boys didn’t approve (wonder why). However, I will say this: Whenever these stories pop up, and the argument of “OMG the reporter has a right to free speech,” doesn’t the coach or representative from the team have a right to call out the writer? It’s hilarious to witness, whenever an incident like this happens, how the reporters in the room just stand there and take it, and even though their expressions are not shown on camera, I’m sure many of them have a deer-in-headlights-look. It would be great if a journalist would just respond back, “Yeah I wrote that – prove me wrong, bitch.” Hell, get up on stage with your accuser and have a field day. Now that would make for great television. On a somewhat related story, I remember last year Tony Kornheiser got all pissy when some in the media bashed him for his "Monday Night Football" announcing early into the season. I agreed that it was a bit too early to say he was terrible at this, but is it still "too early"? Amazing how critics/commentators have some of the thinnest skin.
Having read this column, all I have to say is that if a reporter is gonig to say things like "If you believe the rumors and the rumblings...", "Word is...", "Other times, though, Reid has been nicked in games and sat it out instead of gutting it out," then you better have the evidence to back this up. Otherwise, get ready to defend yourself. At least she was able to prove that this quarterback does get the jitters before games.
Oh, and here's the best part of this whole story. From the AP.
• The starting U.S. goalie in the women’s world cup thing got benched for some chick who played good against Brazil several years ago. The starting goalie, Hope Solo, then bitched about being benched after America lost 4-0 and trashed her coach and teammate.
Solo had no reason to be benched due to her play. Now there’s the “she’s a whiner/threw team under the bus” talk, but in this case I don’t blame her. She was probably still pissed from losing, and to make matters worse she had to watch the carnage while sitting on the sideline. If I was her teammate (outside of perhaps the goalie who replaced her), I’d rather have her get pissed off over this than just sit there and say the usual “oh, it’s OK we’re a happy team go U.S.A.” crap.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 9: Mr. Rant
Rant and I go back like receding hairlines. Well, maybe not that far back. But far back enough to remember classic moments like this. Rant can be a bit of a mystery. The same person who posts material like this will recoil and show the claws at the slightest mention of his crumb-snatcher. Oh, yeah, when he’s not posting god-knows-what (I know better than to click on any link in a thread titled, "This completely ruins a good cum bath, NSFW"), he’s helping our computers stay virus-free so we can see just what completely ruins a good cum batch. While I'm on this subject, is it really necessary to put a "NSFW" warning to a thread titled "THIS COMPLETELY RUINS A GOOD CUM BATH?" Did I mention he also has a soft spot for a certain kind of household pet and doesn't care for a certain sect of our society?
6:30 p.m.
• Had the interview this morning. Will I get invited back? No idea. Like I’ve said before, when you already have a job going to interview at another place is much easier. When you’re unemployed or trying to get something that is somewhat related to the 4+ years of post-high school study to took the wait to get a call back is nerve-racking. When you already have a 9 to 5 and you’re waiting for a response there’s actually somewhat of an annoyance to get a response because now you have to dip into vacation time (although I didn’t this time because of the 13 hours I put in the other weekend). I think this was one of my better interviews – much better than my first outing. My time was cut short because they had another interview scheduled – some twenty-something chick. Oh well.
You know what I am jealous of in regards to chicks? When dressing up, they can go a number of routes – pants, dress, blouse, sweater, etc. For guys it’s a coat, tie and pants. Then again, it’s good to be simple. So far I have been treated relatively well by this place. It’s amazing how unprofessional some places can be in the job-hiring process. Yeah I know I’m the job seeker and the company is the job holder, but sometimes I wonder if the hiring people have any idea how awful it makes their organization look when they don’t return calls or drop correspondence after giving their word to contact someone with the results of a hiring. But what do I know. I don’t have a human resources degree.
Best-case scenario: I get a job I’ll probably bitch about a year or so from now. Worst-case scenario: I got some new dress clothes on clearance and updated my portfolio. Either way, I also have Monday off. Yay and stuff. And always remember: There's always someone out there who can do your job better and cheaper than you. The trick is to get hired before the interviewer finds them. That way, you can at least collect unemployment if you get canned.
• You know what I’ve thought about doing? Making a profile on eharmony.com. No, I’m not thinking about cheating on Mrs. kkk. My reason for this is because I’m curious to know what a “match” would be for me. I know I’m going to regret finding the estrogen version of me, but it’s one of those things that you can’t get out of your head. That is until you see the opposite gender of you. I’m sure after that it’ll be one of those things I wouldn’t be able to get out of my head even though I’ll make every attempt to do so.
• So there has been road construction in my neighborhood for the last two weeks, and the better half has been bitching nonstop about them not putting a “ramp” thing by our driveway, which they stripped before the repaving process. I’ve been telling her for the last 10 days they’re probably going to “re-ramp” everybody’s driveways when everything else is done, but instead of hearing “you may have a point,” I’ve been getting, “I better not be driving over that bump in front of our driveway/this is bullshit.” Well guess what the construction people did about 10 minutes ago? Yep.
• John Edwards, if you can make good on this promise, I just might vote for you. But I want results first.
"What he can do about inner-city kids partaking in violence." Good God.
10 p.m.
• Earlier today I went clothes shopping at Kohl's.The last time I bought more than one article of clothing at a time was several years ago, so I don’t do this often. However, I think I may start stopping in more often after having paid a visit to the clearance rack. I wanted to get a new interview outfit (or two), and I did at a great discount. I don’t consider myself a finicky shopper, but when it comes to clothes I really don’t like going anywhere else but Kohl’s or Sears. The brands comfortably fit and are worth the price once a sale starts up. Two dress pants, two belts, two dress shirts and a dress shirt/tie combo – about $115 total with a retail markup savings of $160. I’m sure all this actually cost about $5 to produce, but whatever. Like I said before, it fits and the quality is good.
Afterward, we got a new comforter for Mrs. kkk – at 30 percent off of course ($70 down from $100). She then asks me the question of the week, “Will this comforter be warm enough for you?” Uh, you’re the one that always bitches about being too cold. She then asked what size we should get – the king or queen. Having no clue what size we currently use, she said that the one currently on our be is a king, even though our bed is a queen size. I then opted for the king comforter. Christ, we fight over the covers enough as is – actually, it’s not much of a fight as it is her trying to push/loosen my grip on blankets during the middle of the night. I can’t imagine what carnage a smaller comforter would produce.
5 p.m.
• So yesterday I was driving home on the parkway and this truck was in front of me. The truck had some pipes/wood planks/something tied to the roof. Didn’t look too stable. Because of this I gave the truck some space between us. I was hoping this way in case something flew off at me I’d have enough time to react and get out of the way. Well, the driver behind me did the “OMG WTF” gesture. What is wrong with people. It’s not like I was going 30 mph. I was still going just over the speed limit – there was just a car length or two between me and this truck. I would have been more than happy to let this person go between us, and I would laugh when one of the planks flew threw his windshield and crushed his larynx.
7 a.m.
• So on the drive to work this morning I drove behind this care with the bumper sticker "I miss Clinton." Hey, I give credit where it's due –– it got a laugh out of me. However, I think the laugh was less about that bumper sticker than the new, catchy bumper sticker slogan I had just then thought up in my mind.
"I missed Clinton" with a sniper's scope replacing the dotted i's.
Then again, seeing how this family threatens to sue people that hang their daughter's picture up in a restaurant...
... if I actually produced this kind of ingenius hilarity and you don't read any new entries from me in a while, check for me at Ft. Marcy Park.
3 p.m.
• Pirates got a new general manager. Why in the hell would ANYONE want to come here, unless that person is jobless to begin with.
• Oh there are so many jokes to be made with this I don’t know where to begin.
• Well, at least she’s not whipping out her tit and having the crumb-snatcher suck away during the test. Trust me, wait until you see a picture of her.
Actually, with the speed of our justice system, I'm surprised the kid's not 20 years old now.
8:45 p.m.
• I was never really a Britney Spears "hater," and it's pitiful to see what she has done to herself over the last few years. I also don't get this joke by Sarah Silverman at some award show she did.
Mistakes? If memory serves she squirted both out while married. Now granted the "mistake" was getting married and not getting ready to take on the challenges of parenthood. However, to call these two kids "mistakes" is just not funny. And this is ME who's saying this!
8:30 p.m.
• So I was reading one of my favorite threads -- 1000 Reasons Why ESPN Sucks -- and found this gem from a few days ago.
Well, Ol' Mikey sure can't call Vince a RACIST~! I was already a Vince Young fan. This only solidifies it even more.
2:45 p.m.
• Figures. The one job interview I actually wouldn’t have minded a “don’t call us we’ll call you” response from called me for a second round. Do I really want to do this? Sure I hate the assholes I work with, but I love what I do. How do I know that the work I do at another place will feel just as rewarding? How do I know this place’s management won’t be as bad or worse? Jesus, this is what Stockholm Syndrome must feel like to those abducted by the Mohammads of the world. Perhaps I can make my current situation work out. Perhaps there is a light to the end of this tunnel. Perhaps…
Hmm, what’s this? A CD-Rom full of stuff that I have to work on from the idiot boss is my mail slot. It wasn't there when I left work yesterday but was in there when I got in this morning. Oh, what’s this? The creation date for these files is dated more than 10 days ago. Oh, what’s this? An e-mail from a co-worker telling me the idiot wants to know when these will be finalized because they should have been done yesterday.
...
So my second interview is for Friday at 8:30 a.m.
9:45 p.m.
• Sonofabitch. I donated $10 for some fundraiser helping homeless animals, and this raffle was to use numbers from yesterday's "Big 4" state lottery. Two of my eight raffle numbers had "3" and "4" matching up, but that's it. Boo-urns.
• He wasn't checking out child porn. He was ... scouting.
• My God is the lip-synching for "Monday Night Football" terrible. The players introducing their teammates is so off.
1 p.m.
• Yeah, but we'll ask him the TUFF QUESTIONS!
Good God what a joke. I can only pray that this wacko is just scouting out the best spot in America to let off a nuke. Hey, Ahmad-whatever, there's some primo real estate over in Berkley if you're interested.
• Well, Toyota, expect to get a better market share after this gets played out.
7 p.m.
• Oh for Christ's sake, they're going to be dead soon anyway. Let them enjoy their snacks.
“No, Mrs. Johnson. Don’t eat that pastry – we want you to live another 10 years just so we can change that many more diapers.”
Funny story: whenever my grandma was still alive (dad's side) and still had her wits about her, my old man would always sneak candy in for her. Hell, she had no teeth -- a piece of chocolate would keep her busy for hours.
12:30 p.m.
• More wedded bliss. It’s getting to be that time of year when the air conditioner and windows alternate. If it’s humid out, the AC comes on. If no, then we open all the windows. One problem is if the windows are open overnight, it could get hella cold in the morning, much to the chagrin of Mrs. kkk. When it gets time for bed, she always tells me to close the windows to the second floor of our house. I don’t know how this equates into a cold house, but whatever. Anyway, she bitched about it being cold this morning and that I didn’t close the upstairs windows (I didn’t). I then commented to her that our two bedroom windows were wide open. Surely THAT could have contributed somewhat to our chilly living quarters.
• Oh God. James Brown on the CBS pre-game NFL show just did this mini-editorial about how we all don't know what it's like to be Donovan McNabb until we've walked a mile in his shoes, or some shit like that. He added something about having an open dialogue with this shit. You all should know my opinion on this matter by now, so it's not worth rehashing it again.
• Speaking of racial harmony.
3:30 p.m.
• Time for Week 3's pickkks.
Arizona @ Baltimore (7.5)
The only reason I’m going with this is because the Cards coach is the former Steelers offensive coordinator and I’m hoping that he’s able to keep it somewhat close. Then again, I remember what happened last year when the Steelers played the Ravens. Oh, shit.
Buffalo @ New England (15.5)
Here’s hoping the Pats have a “fall-off” game to a divisional rival after clearing away the Chargers.
Detroit @ Philadelphia (6.5)
I just don’t see the Eagles going 0-3.
(6.5) Indianapolis @ Houston
I heard that one receiver for Houston is out.
Miami @ N.Y. Jets (3.5)
I’ll go with the Dolphins defense in this one. Does Miami even have a good defense. I have no clue. Then why did I just say that?
Minnesota @ Kansas City (2.5)
Young QB. At Kansas City. There’s going to be lots of runs.
(4.5) San Diego @ Green Bay
This should be interesting. I’m not convinced Green Bay is a playoff-caliber team … yet.
San Francisco @ Pittsburgh (9.5)
That spread just seems too big. I think the Steelers will win, but by single digits.
St. Louis @ Tampa Bay (3.5)
I’m not sure about this one, but I want to see St. Louis crash and burn because too many people were picking them to be a playoff team in the preseason.
Cincinnati @ Seattle (3.5)
The Bungles’ defense can’t get much worse than it was last week’s effort – could it?
Cleveland @ Oakland (3.5)
I’m hoping for the Browns to experience a “fallout” effect from last week’s win. That’s the only reason I’m picking Oakland with the points.
Jacksonville @ Denver (3.5)
Here’s hoping the Jacksonville running game has a good day.
(4.5) Carolina @ Atlanta
I’ve been burned on the Panthers a few times this year already. Perhaps this is their year to win the South, again.
N.Y. Giants @ Washington (4.5)
I’ll tell you what. I have no idea who that Redskins QB is, but I was impressed by him Monday night.
Dallas @ Chicago (3.5)
Both defenses are good, so I’m going with the better offense.
Tennessee @ New Orleans (4.5)
The Saints have stunk it up the first two games, but what about the home opener? Well, they could always win by 3.
I don't know what's worse: The fact I have to do 10 more of these or the fact I've already done 92 of them. Who's left? Who's gong to be placed where? Oh the drama...
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 10: Jobber of the Week
What I like about Jobber is that even though he’s for oodles of commie shit, he tends to be more sensible when the socialist utopias (or Michael Savage fans) creep up in his neighborhood. I wouldn’t consider Jobber a limousine liberal because a limo lib would want everyone to drive on solar-powered cars with lawn-mower engines while they fly around on private jets to and from trans-Atlantic weekend getaways. Jobber just doesn’t want the invaders to get driver’s licenses. And if he would be as fiscally responsible in Congress as he says he is at TSM, then I wouldn’t mind if some of his treasonous ideas got through the cracks. Besides, he has posted many a picture that was worth 1,000 posts. This would be the point where I bust out the “Tecmo Bowl’d” graphic, but sadly it’s no more.
6:15 p.m.
• Uh-oh. Didn't we learn anything from the Mohammad cartoons from a while back?
Translation.
* Boy, what is your name?
- My name is Babu.
* It is customary to mention Muhammed before the name.
* What is your father’s name?
- Muhammed Abu
* What’s this in your lap?
- Muhammed cat
You know who really gets pissed when stuff like this happens? Yep.
Jihads for everybody.
6 p.m.
• Oh boy. Time for another crack-whore sister-in-law story. For those not keeping score at home, thanks to a lifetime of doing drugs and abusing alcohol, the crack-whore is now collecting disability and getting free health care, courtesy of our tax dollars. A few nights ago, the crack-whore visits my mother-in-law’s workplace begging for $50 so she can get a sling for her arm, which supposedly had something wrong with it. The mother-in-law kicks her out. The next day, the crack-whore comes in, her arm in a sling, and begs for $50 because her and her boyfriend need gas for the car. When the question of “I thought you needed $50 yesterday for a sling,” came up, the crack-whore’s one remaining brain cell went into overload. And the best thing about all this – she’s in her 40s~!
So the next time some left-wing faggot in Congress starts whining about DRACONIAN cuts against the POOR, just remember: If we don’t keep pouring more money into this Great Society of our, my crack-whore sister-in-law will be sling-less.
7:30 a.m.
• So I get lots of spam at work, and if I'm not being given sales pitches to claim millions in Nigeria then I am being told how I can enlarge my penis. I've shown some of these ads in the past, but once in a while you get a headline/message that's just as funny. Here's one from this morning:
