8:30 p.m.
• So I had the interview today. Eh. The odd thing about this one is that when I was left I thought to myself, “You know, maybe I don’t hate my job all that much after all.” Then again, I don’t hate my job – I hate my dumb-ass management. Wasn’t my best performance, but wasn’t terrible either. One red flag that went up for me was when they said, “You’d be in charge of some hippie computer program and the consultant we’ve had for over a year is leaving in a few weeks.” Translation: We’re going to expect you to know just as much as a professional in the IT field and we’re going to pay you much less.
But here’s the best part: When I got home, I waited for Mrs. kkk to call me and let me know when I can pick her up from interviewing some crazy person at her job. She called. I drove. On the way home, she was making some smart-ass remark about how she has a “surprise” for me and I’ll never get it. Then the DJ on the rock radio station says the following:
“Don’t forget that comedian Ron White will be appearing at the Benedum Center October 6.”
Wow was she pissed.
• Here’s the difference between men and women: A few days ago the better half threw a shitfit because some pen exploded and she got ink on her ratty gray sweatshirt/jacket thing. You can even see the shit and she’s bitching. Today, I realized after my interview that my one pen blew up and got shit all over my hands and blue Wal-Mart t-shirt. My reaction? “Oh, so I didn’t need to try lick that stain because I thought it was my blue raspberry-flavored Go-gurt.”
Yes, I eat yogurt. I remember years ago my old man was bitching about my choice of snack, saying that this stuff isn’t healthy and contains all these chemicals and shit. My response: “I don’t care. I eat it because I like the taste.” My old man’s response: Nothing. Of course this is the same guy who freaks out over anything that isn’t wheat-grass juice. When I was a kid I remember he showed me this article about how something-or-other was bad for you and we were all going to die and the only thing you can eat nowadays is dirt. It was around the time of hazardous movie theater popcorn butter. Anyway, I grabbed a spoon and was ready to go outside when he asked, “Where are you going?” My response: “Out back in the yard for dinner.” Families.
9 p.m.
• So sad. I was putting a portfolio together when I decided to fuck around instead. Damn you Internet. Oh, for as much bitching about stupid commericals, I have to admit I like this one. And it deals with
This one's good, too, but I like the first better.
6 p.m.
• What punitive damages? You were a shitbag before this story which did you in.
• My vote would be to asterisk the ball.
Blasting it off into space just seems too… eh. I wouldn’t be convinced that it actually happened. The ball would probably just be hidden in some backlot, only to appear when I’m in a nursing home and making me even more skeptical of this world.
• Damn, now EVERYONE is getting tasered (well, actually this happened last year, but whatever).
Hey, just because someone is in a wheelchair that doesn’t mean they should get any special privileges. Remember, “disabled” doesn’t mean “unable.” Besides, those wheelchairs can hurt. I should know. During my theater days some frequent customer who everybody hated got pissed at me one day and drove this motorized beast into my shin. I didn’t really care, and actually thought it was funny, but it gave me an excuse to act “faux pissed” at him, thus giving me an out in never having to deal with him. I mean, I could only fuck with his mind because it appeared that God already beat me to the physical part.
Oh, yeah. Back to the story at hand. Fuck this family. Next time some psycho family member is on a relative's private property with weapons, the cops should just stay away and let them sort it out with hugs.
• The only thing weird ever to come out of my bunghole was string during my adolescent days (still trying to figure that one out – yeah I ate some string but not that much, and not that color). Now the things that have gone into my browneye – that’s another story.
7:45 p.m.
• So I was driving from work en route to pick up the better half, and I noticed this plane flying around with some banner attached to it. What was it? A picture of one of those cavemen with “Geico” printed. So a car insurance company is promoting itself by appearing in a way that will make motorists look up and away from traffic. Brilliant.
• Moron.
MikeSC was talking about this over at the other place, and I really don’t care. This douche brought it on himself. I say zap him some more. I love it when people go, “Don’t do anything/I’m not resisting,” but yet are resisting.
• I was in Target today and walked by the book section. There I saw Bill Clinton’s latest book titled “Giving: How Each of Us Can Change the World.” What was the book next to his? I don’t know, but it was titled “Quickie.”
9:30 p.m.
• Thanks to Al Keiper for reminding me of this.
So the Mexican welfare family on the better half’s side of the family will have its patriarch soon celebrate his 57th birthday. And the welfare household whose annual Memorial Day cookout is an annual event I completely dread will be having a surprise party. We got an invitation. Uh, no. But that’s not where this story ends. We also got a notice that there is a Wal-Mart gift registry for this event, and Mrs. kkk and I had to see what was on this list. Five and a half pages worth of stuff. Here are the highlights:
Motor oil.
Metallic-looking boxers.
Rose-petal bubble bath.
Pressure washer -- $100.
Various kids gifts.
Lavender bubble bath stuff.
Windshield wiper fluid.
Batteries.
Computer virus protection.
Even though we’re getting these people jack shit (they already get a gift from us on the first of every month), I was seriously considering getting several family members together to chip in for a bottle of Pennzoil.
9 p.m.
• Let’s see, what’s going on. Got an interview for Thursday for a resume that was received today. Has potential, but whatever. Let me stress again that the best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Sure it would be great to burn your bridge whenever you’ve had enough of your workplace situation, but unless you live with mommy and daddy, you got bills to pay. Something tells me this could be another “you’re overqualified” experience, but there’s nothing wrong with polishing up your interviewing techniques. I remember reading a while back former Bears great Mike Singletary, now an assistant coach, was asked why he wanted to interview for a head coaching job he had no chance of getting and was called only because of the NFL’s hippie “interview a token minority” candidate. He replied that the opportunity to interview was reason enough. More power to him. For the record, my place of employment, which has had an opening for several months now, will be calling people that sent in resumes back in July for interviews. You gotta love organizations that do this sort of thing. Any candidate with half a brain will realize that a place which calls you in for an interview regarding a resume you submitted months back had several preferred candidates flake out. If the candidate has three-fourths of a brain, he/she will figure out that there’s probably some reason the preferred candidates chose not to work at this place.
• Oh, man. No wonder the liberals love Hugo. Now he wants to take over private schools.
And just what will the kiddies be learning?
And just how is this any different from the government schools and universities in the U.S.?
• Well many people thank God when they score a big touchdown or receive some award. Why not sue the guy upstairs?
But this part caught my eye, too.
• I swear to Christ if I hear another "It's the mirrors" ad one more time I'm breaking one of those "mirrors" and slashing the throats of everyone involved with producing this tripe. And while I'm at it, I'll take out a few people who thought up this godawful "Caveman" show. I don't care if it hasn't aired yet. Some public airwave conceptions should be aborted in their first trimester.
8:30 p.m.
• Well everything came and went without much of a hitch. Although it was funny to point out to the better half that, when she let the nieces and nephew play with my exercise equipment, that I got the third degree when I babysat them a while back and let them goof around with that stuff.
11:45 a.m.
• So the last few days have been hella crazy. In a few hours we will be hosing a cookout for a few people, and on Friday the better half and I went to get some stuff. Did we go to the grocery store for meat? Nope. We had to go to the local butcher guy who lives in the backwoods. Next it was onto Sam’s for some cock breast chicken. I think we got some other stuff, but I can’t remember. We also went to a few other places that I can’t remember, which scares me a bit. Anyway, we did all this shit right after getting home from work, which has been hectic for me this past week. We left for work at 6 a.m., then left for shopping at 4 p.m. It was now past 8 p.m., and I was starting to crash. What made me grumpier was knowing that I was going to have to go into work Saturday morning, and goddamn am I a spoiled brat, considering I used to pull 16-hour shifts with regularity back in the day. But I digress. It was 8 p.m., and Mrs. kkk asked if we should just get alcohol now instead of waiting for Saturday. I’m a person that likes to get things over with, so I agreed. Now did we go down the main road of our area to a place that sells beer? No. We took these backroads that added 10-15 minutes onto what is normally a 5-minute commute. Why do people do this shit? Well, I was already grumbling a bit when we pulled into the Pizza Hut. Yes, Pizza Hut. Pennsylvania has this ass-backwards law that makes it next-to-impossible for places to sell booze, but for some reason this PIZZA HUT has a little cooler to sell beer. I don’t know. I’m not going to try and figure it out.
When we pulled in, Mrs. kkk said “when you go in there get Busch beer.” Wait, why do I have to go in? “Because the man gets the beer.” WTF? When was this a rule? And I’m not a “real” man. When I bother to drink, I drink wine coolers and Kahluas. I don’t hunt or fish. I know dick about automobiles. And you know what? I’m proud to admit this shit, which probably makes me more of a man than you. But now I’m getting off track. I go into the Hut and look in the cooler. I have no idea what these brands are they are selling, and they were all in at least a 12-pack. There’s no way I’m buying these tax-saturated products for one-two people max. Fuck that. I went to the “real” meat shop for this event. I get back in the car and tell the better half that they don’t have Busch. “Well can’t you get something else?” Why then did you tell me to get a specific brand? Look, I may not be a man’s man, but I’ve been around enough to know that some males are just as picky with their choice of adult beverages than women are with fashion design labels. She then tells me to just get whatever, because now fatigue is starting to hit her. I go back in and get two big cans of Coors. Hey, this is our house and it’s not often that we bring booze into it. Anyway, now I get to the point of this story.
I put these two big cans on the register, and the cashier has no idea how to ring them up. She makes some comment that must have been bad, because she got real apologetic with me. Too bad I was zoning out and wasn’t paying attention. The manager comes over and both are trying to figure out how to ring up this transaction. Then the manager says something that snapped me back to reality real quick.
“These two cans are $2.25 each and their ringing up as $4.50 total. That’s not right.”
R’oh?
And no, she wasn’t talking about taxes. And no, there wasn't a line or any reason for them to get frazzled.
Yes, this whole saga was leading up to a customer service story. Feel shortchanged? Too bad. I had to live it. Now if you will excuse me, I have to vacuum and put in another load of laundry before the guests arrive. No, I’m not making this up. And I’m going to be bbq’ing shit this afternoon. At least it’s with my two charcoal grills. Propane is for communists.
12 a.m.
• After working 9:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. behind a computer, there’s nothing I like better than coming home to … type behind a computer. Goddamnit.
Atlanta @ Jacksonville (10.5)
Man, I knew I’d be hating these spreads when I first posted them. Sure the Jags will win by double digits.
Buffalo @ Pittsburgh (9.5)
OK, Buffalo has a bunch of injuries, and Pittsburgh won big last week. But they played Cleveland. What do I do? Do I jump on the bandwagon now and have them not cover, or do I stay with the other team and watch the Steelers win big again. Oh, I’ll be a homer this week, although the black and gold don’t always impress at home. 20 points.
(7.5) Cincinnati @ Cleveland
LOL – the Browns traded away their starting quarterback from last week already. I’ll take the Bengals offense to score bunches, even though this is the BATTLE FOR OHIO~!
Green Bay @ N.Y. Giants (1.5)
Hmm, I’m not sure how long Emily will be out, if at all. I’ll go with the NFL’s IRON MAN.
Houston @ Carolina (6.5)
Interesting. The Texans surprised me by winning last week. I think Carolina will win the game, but I’m hoping it’ll be close.
(7.5) Indianapolis @ Tennessee
Here’s hoping Indy stays on that roll from last year’s Wild Card.
(3.5) New Orleans @ Tampa Bay
The Saints didn’t play all that well in Week 1, but here’s hoping they rebound against a divisional foe.
San Francisco @ St. Louis (3.5)
I thought Arizona would win last week due to the air attack. Here’s hoping the 49ers can keep it close.
(3.5) Dallas @ Miami
Uh, yay Cowboys?
Minnesota @ Detroit (2.5)
Sure Detroit scored bunches of points – it was against Oakland. Yeah, the Raiders had a "good" defense last year, from what some people on TV said, but was it one of those defenses where the other team just scored a bunch early and let the offense play catch up all game? You know, much like a crappy team can have a “good” pass defense because after a team builds a 30-0 lead all they do is run the ball against the pass defense in the second half. Let's see, how many points they the Raiders give up last year?
27, 28, 24, 34, 13, 9, 13, 16, 17, 17, 21, 23, 27, 20, 20, 23
Is that good? I dunno. All I know is that the Raiders offense didn't score more in most of those games enough times to warrant the top pick in the most recent draft.
(3.5) Seattle @ Arizona
They’re still the divisional champs. Respect due.
Kansas City @ Chicago (12.5)
All the Bears have to do is kick four, err, five field goals. I’m confident.
N.Y. Jets @ Baltimore (10.5)
Hmm, the offense sucked dong last week. I’ll say the Ravens get the home vibe going and win.
Oakland @ Denver (10.5)
I’ll say the Broncos because even if they get up on their rival they’ll want to score more points.
San Diego @ New England (3.5)
Shit. Does spy-gate rally the Pats or distract them? I’ll go with the latter.
Washington @ Philadelphia (6.5)
I think Philly will win, but I’m hoping not by much.
9:30 p.m.
• It's a shame Mark Madden wasn't on his ESPN radio show today. I was looking forward to his take on the Pats-spying-on-Jets story. Especially since it now has a Steeler angle.
Having remembered those championship games, it was more than "stealing signs" that got the Pats those wins. I'm still trying to figure out how they stole the sign for "returning a punt for a touchdown." Then again, it wasn't me that busted my ass all year for a chance at the Super Bowl only to get beaten twice by the same team. I'd probably be bitter, too. Hell, I'm bitter now.
Oh, and the Pats got off light, imo.
6:30 p.m.
• Boy it's a good thing Greg Oden stayed in college and didn't opt for the NBA and all those millions of dollars. Why, he could bring Ohio State a March Madness title!
Nevermind.
• I think there's a type-o in this article. It said reduce crime.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 11: sfaJack
After you think about it for a while, you realize there’s nothing really spectacular about sfaJack. But that’s not a bad thing. We all can’t be part of a fraternity, get arrested on a frequent basis, molested by uncles or have indy fed wrestling experiences. There’s a large number of us that have insignificant, boring lives. But that’s OK. It’s people like us that make this country work. If it weren’t for saps like sfa and myself getting up for work, paying taxes and keeping this economy humming, then Pedro wouldn’t be sneaking across the southern border to pick lettuce and Mohammad wouldn’t be sneaking across the northern border to blow up a commerce center. I mean, Jesus, I can’t think of a single thing Jack has posted that warrants reflecting on. But that’s OK. It’s people like Jack that make up the “silent majority” which have helped keep the commie faggots from trying to socialize every part of our lives, and I don’t mean socialize in a Myspace sort of way. I’m sure after a short while of wedded bliss, sfaJill will squirt out a few kids, and Jack will continue punching that timecard until his timecard gets punched out by the man upstairs. But that’s OK. We’re all on the job for a limited time, and because I still can’t think of one worthwhile thing Jack has posted, I dedicate the following to my kkk Bowl participant that always hits the glass ceiling come playoff time:
Well I can stand beside
Ideals I think are right
And I can stand beside
The idea to stand and fight
I do believe
There's a dream for everyone
This is our country
Now I’m going to go and say
Some left-wing hippie shit
Because GM won’t bother to promote
This verse one little bit
George Soros is my hero
And Hitlery gets me hard
This is our country
From the east coast
To the west coast
Down the Dixie Highway
To the Great Society that got washed out
This is our country
Here’s another stanza
That will go unheard by Chevy
And now it’s time for my ideology
To get real hot and heavy
And I love Blacks and Gays and Latinos
As long as they don't move next door
This is our country
From the east coast
To the west coast
Down the Dixie Highway
To the Great Society that got washed out
This is our country
The dream is still alive
Some day it will come true
In 2008 it’s a real possibility
To folks like me and you
So take the underclass to the polls
And promise them free cheese
This is our country
From the east coast
To the west coast
Down the Dixie Highway
To the Great Society that got washed out
This is our country
And if you don't understand what you read above, then you don't read many of my posts do you, Abdul?
4:15 p.m.
• Damn you George W. Bush. Next time you try to destroy a city, you better do it right.
• Wow. JaMarcus Russell is a genius. Sign a big-ass contract and get out of playing with the Raiders for as long as possible. Good job.
• I'm curious to see what the bad-ass commish has in store for the spying Pats.
Hey, if you don't take surveillance on the opposition, the terrorist have already won.
• Ever have one of those days where you worked your ass off, looked back at quittin' time and thought, "What the hell did I just do for eight hours?"
9 p.m.
• Well, so much for the "fire Ozzie" talk I have heard in the sports media.
I bet "Around the Horn" panelist Jay Mariotti loves this news. I bet he loves this web site even more. Wow. I mean, I goof on Racist Dusty, among others. But I haven't devoted a web site to these people. At least not yet.
7:45 p.m.
• So now there's some talk in the media about MTV losing it's appeal.
I can tell you the exact time when I said "fuck MTV." It was during a video awards show in the 1990s. The Beastie Boys'
was nominated for video of the year. What won instead? Aerosmith's
Seriously, WTF? I guess it could have been worse. That piece of shit "Everybody Hurts" could have won instead. I have nothing bad to say about "Heart-Shaped Box." I was indifferent to Nirvana back then, but I'll listen to them every once in a while today.
2:30 p.m.
• Today truly is a somber day for America. Collectively, we must all bow our heads in sorrow and never forget the evil that was unexpectedly thrust upon us.
But enough talking about the final season of “Charmed,” which get released on DVD today, and that godawful Billie character the writers created. A national tragedy indeed.
8:15 p.m.
• OK, I've officially given up on the ESPN Monday Night Football experiment. I gave it time. After all, it takes a while for an announcing crew to mesh, but enough is enough. The refs threw a flag for too many men on the field, then recanted. Mike Tirico goes, “What is this, the Florida election?” LOLSTEELERS34BROWNS7~! Tony then brings the hilarity by saying something like, “Well, there were hanging chads in Florida. We have CHAD JOHNSON~!” Jesus Christ. I admit it. I liked ESPN’s Sunday night crew of Patrick, MacGuire and Theismann and McGuire. Sure there were some faults – Patrick can’t find anything wrong with anyone, Paul was Paul, and Joe would yell at players during the preseason – but that was way better than listening to this shit. And guy's, ESPN Monday Night Football ain't the same as ABC Monday Night Football. Give it up already. Please. For the children.
6:15 p.m.
• I didn't watch Britney's performance, but I guess she was doing things in outfits that she shouldn't have been doing.
If this were an average chick out on the street I would have no problem thinking she's good-looking. However, the average chick isn't parading out in a skimpy outfit in front of millions of viewers and crtics.
3 p.m.
• So after watching the first week of NFL action, all I can say is wow. I am so on the nuts of NBC’s “Football Night in America.” I’ve said in the past I’m a Bob Costas fan, and the addition of Keith Olbermann is a huge plus. Yes, I said Keith Olbermann. Sure the guy should be hung for treason, and I’m certain I’ll be calling him a commie by Week 4, but I always liked him on ESPN. Just because I don’t like a person’s politics that doesn’t mean I have to hate everything he does. Also, I know John Madden is past his prime, but he’ll be retiring soon enough. I also like Al Michaels. If there is anything I would like to see “improved” it is this: Get a defensive-minded person to speak alongside Tiki Barber and Chris Collinsworth (sorry Bus), and get a better sideline reporter. I’ve made it long known that I don’t like female sideline reporters. Sorry. Too bad. Tony Siragusa and, let’s say, Deion Sanders, would complete my “dream” announcing team, but now I’m just nitpicking. Besides, if Tony joined NBC then he wouldn’t be on that Fox team with Dick Stockton and Daryl Johnson.
• During a “holiday week,” my trash collection gets moved back one day, meaning my garbage gets picked up on Saturday this past week. Sadly, no garbagemen drove past my residence. None on Sunday, either. When I saw my neighbors’ trash cans were also untouched, I gave my refuse collector a call. Problem was, there’s nobody in the office during weekends. To make matters worse, the electronic message box was also filled. Looks like someone screwed up. I called them this morning and I guess there was a problem of some sorts. The representative said our route is getting collected today. I said to him before hanging up that I’ve lived at this address for three years and this is the first time such an incident has occurred, so keep up the good work. I figured this poor guy was getting bitched at by enough angry customers. Besides, one missed collection in 150 weeks is a pretty good track record. God bless the garbage collectors.
12:15 p.m.
• I read about this in the ESPN sucks thread, but I just saw the first video teaser for this shit.
I wonder if some black kid just came up to Tom Jackson and ask if he could, someday, have his own NFL Countdown segment. I knew that running gag would eventually have some sort of payoff other than the hilarity it brings every time I use it.
8:30 a.m.
• Spoilerz 'n stuff ahead: I was in the mood to watch some shit yesterday, so I went into my OnDemand/DVR library and pulled out a few time-fillers. One was the "Hills Have Eyes 2." Not the crappy remake sequel. The crappy sequel to the first one made in the '70s. As I was watching this shit-fest, I wondered torward the end where the heck Ruby was. No way she could have died just from falling down and hitting her head on a rock. Yeah, I know in real life someone can actually die from that, but this is the f'n movies! People had their throats slashed, backs broken and harpoons shot through them. Falling five feet onto some hippie rock, especially since she was a carry-over from the first movie, is soooooo weak. Sadly, after going to IMDB, it appears that this is how she went out. Gay. At least the dog lived. I think Beast should get his (or is it her?) own spin-off.
Before watching this, I gave "Return of the Living Dead II" a look-see. I couldn't remember if I saw this one years ago or the first one. All I remember about that one is "Send... more... paramedics" and that the place gets nuked in the end. I have to say that I really liked this one. There's something to be said when a film knows its stupid and has fun with it. And Doc has been placed unusually high for a first-time viewing on my list of "characters I like." Great character.
6:30 p.m.
• But the big question is: What political party is this guy from?
This place is in Kansas, and he's offering to resign, so I'm guessing he's a Republican. However, the article doesn't indicate what party he's affiliated with, so he could be a Democrat. However, small-town elections don't have the same oomph when it comes to political parties (the article says this guy has another job, after all). If the area is made up of Democrats/Republicans, then most local positions will be registered as that party for election purposes. Also, one headline I saw had this as a "RACIST porn e-mail." Uh, how excatly was this the r-word? Then again, if he sent this e-mail at home on his personal computer and not on mayoral time, then OMG KEEP HIS PRIVATE LIFE PRIVATE and all that other crap I heard during the Lewinsky years.
8 a.m.
• Not sure what the legal stuff is regarding celebs and having their images sold for profit via greeting cards, but I would consider Paris a public figure so my first thought is "tough shit" to her lawsuit.
Remember when everyone goofed on Donald Trump for trying to trademark "You're Fired"? If anything, Hallmark should be sued for producing shitty cards.
11:45 p.m.
• This just popped into my head. The other night I was watching O’Reilly and he had some pro-invasion feminazi bitch on spewing the usual shit about “they’re not illegals” and all this other nonsense. She then started talking about how immigration cops ILLEGALLY storm into the houses of these undocumented employees. Yeah, doesn’t that suck when people illegally enter a territory?
• I was watching one of those “look inside at jails,” and normally I don’t tune into all that long to these shows. But this one featured Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, so I figured I’d give it a look. Jesus Christ. Whenever I hear people bitch about “overcrowed jails” and “where are we going to house all these people,” my response is “build more prisons.” No way in hell I want them living with me. Well, I’m from the suburbs. OK, so I don’t want them driving through my neighborhood and scooping out my house. My favorite pare of the show was some black guy bitching to Arpaio about how terrible it is to be a prisoner in Phoenix, (Joe has this extension of his jail that’s outdoors), and how the conditions were much better in a prison back in Kansas City. Joe responded by saying, “Well go back to Kansas City if you want to break the law.”
Ha. He's also not endorsing his state's senator John McCain. (Article's a bit dated.)
7 p.m.
• So now that the case is over, Mrs. kkk is telling me all about her time as a juror. Yes, she didn’t talk about her hippie case until it concluded. Anyway, it just reinforces the fact defense lawyers are scum. Long story short: some idiot robbed a store with a bb gun that looked real. He then went on a high-speed chase. From what it sounds like, he didn’t want to take a plea agreement, which would have probably required a bit of jail time. Instead, now he’s found guilty on all counts and is facing at least 5 years in the hole. Good for him. This incident took place more than two YEARS ago, and now his trial began on Wednesday and ended Thursday. The funny thing was the better half is guessing the defense lawyer picked her for jury duty because she is a Master’s graduate and dealt with family members that abused drugs. I guess he though she’d be all touchy feely when the defense team brought up the defendant came from a broken home. This lawyer couldn’t have been more wrong. Ha. My favorite part of the case, as was told to me by Mrs. kkk:
The criminal gets out of his car to flee on foot. The cops eventually get him. The criminal asks why the cops have their guns drawn. When the cops answer, the criminal says, “Didn’t you see me drop my gun back there (during the car chase in which I was going 90 mph in residential neighborhoods)?” I bet that plea agreement seems like a good deal now.
kkk’s Top 103 Posters
Number 12: Bigolsmitty
With his freedom-hating views he should be called Bigolshitty, but yet he managed to crack the Top 12. How was Smitty able to accomplish such a feat? Take a lesson, commies. If you’re going to hate the country that gives you the freedom to whine about $3/gallon gas and then vote for politicians that want to tax this same resource $4/gallon, please do it right. (If you’re not from America, then I don’t give a rat's ass what you think of my country. No matter how many protest marches you engage in, you bitches will be the first ones at my doorstep pleading for help once Abdul and his 30 junior jihadists start blowing themselves up in your market square.) What separates Smitty from most of the Marxists here is that he’s actually funny with his shtick. And by funny I don’t mean C-Bacon funny. He also has a sense of humor. Then again, he thinks Napoleon Dynamite was good. Where do I go with this one? Oh hell, I already typed it up; I'll just leave the last few lines as-is. Smitty is also one of my favorites for good arguing in favor of the ideology that wants unregulated freedom in bedrooms and abortion clinics but total government control everywhere else. I just pray he isn’t glazedham over at the other place, because if that's the case I may have edit this entry.
7 p.m.
• Alrighty. It’s now time for the first week of NFL pickkks. Long story short. I take the matchups from week 1, use the point spreads in my TSM contest, make spur-of-the-moment decisions on each game and pretend the really awful selections I made never happened.
New Orleans @ Indianapolis (5.5)
Indy lost a lot of people. I don’t think New Orleans will be as good as they were last year. Could be a close game, but I think the Colts will cover the spread at home.
Atlanta @ Minnesota (3.5)
If memory serves, Minnesota had a good run defense last year. That’s all I need.
Carolina @ St. Louis (0.5)
The Panthers pissed me off last year by having a crap-tastic season. Fuck them.
(3.5) Denver @ Buffalo
All I know about the Bills is that they lost some cornerback that got lots of money from the 49ers.
Kansas City @ Houston (2.5)
Oh I’m tempted to take the Texans in this one, but I just can’t fathom Houston a favorite in anything.
Miami @ Washington (3.5)
I have no idea who the Redskins have on their team. Why am I picking them?
(6.5) New England @ N.Y. Jets
The Pats will probably win, but I have to take that spread. Then again, I heard a bunch of starters aren’t going to play for New England.
(3.5) Philadelphia @ Green Bay
When will Favre retire?
(4.5) Pittsburgh @ Cleveland
Tricky. Knoll and Cowher both won their first games as Steeler coaches. Cleveland may indeed lose, but crazy stuff can happen when Pittsburgh goes to this place. Steelers will score 27.
Tennessee @ Jacksonville (6.5)
I don’t think the Titans will win, and I don’t think they will be as good as their late-season hot streak showed last year. It’s a spread thing.
Chicago @ San Diego (6.5)
Years ago when the Bears played the Vikings on opening day, I heard a commentator say that in Week 1 a good offense will often best a good defense because there’s still a “surprise” element many teams use for a trick play or two. And the Chargers have a pretty good defense, too.
Detroit @ Oakland (1.5)
My first thought for this game was that South Park “giant douche/turn sandwich” episode.
Tampa Bay @ Seattle (6.5)
I think this spread will bite me in the ass, and I think the Seahawks have numbered days atop the NFC West, but it’s only Week 1.
N.Y. Giants @ Dallas (5.5)
Uh. I have nothing. Boo Emily.
Baltimore @ Cincinnati (3.5)
Remember that “good offense” comment I made above? That’s why I’m going with the Bengals at home. I’m hoping the Ravens can’t run the ball with shit.
Arizona @ San Francisco (3.5)
Remember that “good offense” comment I made above? Remember that Bills cornerback to San Fran comment I made above? Well, the Cards have two other good receivers that the 49ers have to cover.
4:30 p.m.
• Oh boy, more work stories! So someone from upstairs calls me because some guy’s on the phone and my co-worker thought that maybe I could help out. Sure. The caller wasn’t related to my department, but then again, it could have been. I took it. Long story short. It actually dealt with something I did, but I’m not responsible for the actual project. I just take what’s given to me and do my thing. Long story short: a month ago the idiot boss said to this caller that he’d get back to him regarding a certain issue. He never did. This caller phoned in again a week ago. Same story by the idiot boss, “I’ll get back to you.” Bwahahahahaaha. So I say, “I regret the unprofessional treatment you have received. If that had been me I would have acted on your request right away.” I’m sure word will get back to the idiot one way or another. Good. Then again, the idiot might stay away because the truth is involved in this one. He doesn’t like that sort of thing. It's great when my response to a scolding is, "Sorry for telling the truth. I won't do it again."
You may notice I said “regret” and not “apologize.” I hate it when people say the “a” word over something they have ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER. Fuck that. I’m going to apologize when I fuck up – not when I have to clean up someone else’s mess. Here’s something that’s fun to do. When somebody does the “OMG I apologize” for something that they can’t do anything about, respond by saying, “Well you better not do it again.” Yeah, bitch. You bring my food out to my table. I’m sure you have authority as to when the cook actually bothers to put my grub in the skillet and fry the dead cow up.
8:15 p.m.
• And just how many farting cows had to be raised in order to provide beef for this global warming Big Mac deal?
Next thing you know, we'll be producing gas that takes more energy to produce than it provides in better mileage over other Big Oil products. Uh, nevermind. For those of you that didn't get the last sentence, don't worry. It was corny anyway.
8 p.m.
• So someone I know in Ohio sent me the following e-mail:
Knowing that clicking on any the links he gave me in his e-mail would make for some interesting reading, I did so. I wasn't disappointed.
My response to the e-mail first sent to me:
7:30 p.m.
• So I was flipping through some channels today and came across a preview for some program that was done shortly after 9/11. The preview said something like, "provocative movie directors from around the world talk about the effects of the terror attacks on America.” Who was the director featured in this preview? Sean Penn. Wow, what a shock. This special is being aired on the Sundance channel.
• "Around the Horn" talked about this today. And all the panelists were OUTRAGED at these comments made by Cincinnati radio talk guy Bill Cunningham.
Sadly, J.A. Adande echoed the first thoughts in my head as I heard this story: Thank God he didn't say this about Ken Griffey Jr. If so, he'd be a RACIST~! Whatever. It was probably an off-the-cuff comment. I've heard much worse.
3 p.m.
• So the brother of one of my co-workers died and she’s taking the week off to do funeral stuff. This brought about a discussion between me and my co-worker in the next office about company policy during a death in the family. I contended that a person could get the day off without pay in these matters while my counterpart thought that these days off are with pay. I asked another co-worker about this topic and figured that she would give use the correct answer since her father passed away a few years ago. Her answer was this: Because she “didn’t abuse” this benefit prior, my idiot boss said she got to take her father’s funeral day off WITH pay. This of course brings up the question of “abuse.” How does one abuse a benefit such as this?
“Boss, I need Monday off because my dad died.”
“You used that excuse six months ago when your mom died. No day off for you.”
Of course, when my grandma died earlier this year, I had to stay later than my scheduled half-day off (which I used sick time to fill in the remaining four hours of that shift) because my idiot boss has no management skills and asked me to drive to a nearby Kinko’s to price-check on something that has nothing to do with my job. Here’s how this gem of a chat went down.
“kkk, I need you to go to Kinko’s and find out how much this proposal will cost with and without binding.”
“But I’m going to my grandmother’s viewing service now. It’s at 1 p.m. and it’s going to take me at least 30 minutes to get there (note: the time was 12:30).”
“Can you do it real quick?”
Now normally I jump at the chance to stay away from my family, but not at the expense of mingling with this fuckwad. But in the end it all worked out. I saved a half-hour of sick time that I used elsewhere, I got a nice story that will be going into my eventual resignation letter that will be sent out companywide and I stayed away from my family for an additional 30 minutes. T’was a good day, tater.
Oh, and just to show I’m not being a paranoid asshole about my workplace situation (well, not as big a paranoid asshole as I already am), my co-worker recently attended this multi-day event as his job title dictates. Now all this guy put down on his expense report was mileage and hotel expenses. No food, drink or other miscellaneous costs. The day after he submitted his form, our one boss asked him, “In what capacity were you in attendance at this event?” What really makes this hilarious is that my co-worker deals in sales, and he’s never allowed to go anywhere. Well, he’s “allowed,” but he has to foot the bill for everything. This despite having a budget for this sort of thing that he’s not allowed to use. But to be fair, I have a similar budge for my department that I wouldn’t be able to tap into even with a sledgehammer.
7:45 p.m.
• kkk Bowl V is under way in the sports folder. If you have a team, make your picks (don't forget the Thursday game). If you don't and want to play along, just do so in the thread. Remember, anyone without a team that goes the entire season making picks gets first shot at claiming an open team next year.
• Bwahahaha. She got picked. And even after she told the legal people about her crack-whore sister and niece. When she asked me how she could have gotten out of jury duty, I replied that she should have commented on how these experiences have tainted her opinion of the legal system whereas her crack-whore sister doesn’t see a lick of jail time for all her law violations but Mrs. kkk could be held in contempt by saying she thinks jury duty is nothing more than a waste of time. In a way, I’m looking forward to my next stint just for the fact I will be using the terms “red diaper doper baby” and “lawyer dressed in a robe.” I also want to share my thoughts on how the justice system is so broken that if anyone breaks into my house I will do my best to make sure they don't get out alive because I don't want some scumbag defense attorney trying to convince a dozen of my so-called peers that just because the perp's mommy didn't give him iced animal crackers as a kid he should be allowed to roam the streets as my equal.
2:45 p.m.
• So the better half is at the local courthouse trying to get out of jury duty. She just phoned me and said the government workers asked her group if anyone knows someone who was convicted for robbery and/or is a heroin user. Oh man, this will be a cakewalk.
7:30 p.m.
• So the better half was a bitch all day and whenever this sort of thing happens I just ignore it the best I can. Usually in these situations any guy will tell you that asking these headcases what’s wrong will get you the obligatory “nothing.” Then, hours later, they’ll do the usual, “honey, I have to tell you something.” Well, snookums, what is bothering you today – A loveless marriage? Not having any kids you can’t afford or will shake to death at the first sign of an all-night screamfest? One of the cats on a weeklong medication? Nope. She’s “uneasy” about going to jury duty tomorrow.
Oh Jesus Christ.
Look, jury duty is an abomination, but there’s nothing worth moping about for days prior to the event. You show up. You sit. You read. If you’re lucky, you go home. If not, you waste your time hearing some DUI case. I had the misfortune of being on a jury once. If you didn’t read the thread I posted in where I talked about my exquisite time performing this civic duty, here goes.
9 p.m.
• So earlier today I had ESPN on – pretty sure it was the “Sports Reporters,” if not then it was one of their talking heads – and one guy on there says that MLB’s western divisional races are the best stories not being told. He then said that he can’t wait for the postseason so we can see these teams in the Pacific Time Zone play on a regular basis. Uh, these teams could be out in three games during the playoffs. I wouldn’t call that “regular.”
• I spent this weekend cleaning the house – I know, I make a great housewife. And while doing this I typically have sports on as background noise. After the Cubs beat the Astros, I was flipping channels and came across this show on the BBC America channel called “How Clean is Your House?” Long story short: these two British chicks go to messy houses, yell at the occupants, show them what a petri dish they are living in and make everything nice and tidy. Holy crap are these houses bad. Another thing I observed was during the commercial breaks the station was pimping it’s newscasts saying something like, “it’s the best coverage on America.” Riiiiiiiiiight.
• Video of crazy cats. My favorites are the ones where children are the victims.
2:30
• So I just watched another NBC “To catch a…” special, but this had nothing to do with adults wanting to bang 13-year olds. This one deal with identity theft, and while it wasn’t as bang-bang-bang in busting pervs and scam artists, it was entertaining in its own right. I think the funniest part of the whole thing was seeing the stupid Americans fall for Internet relationships and shipping thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of merchandise for them. Jesus, are these people pathetic. The best part of all this? During one of the commercial breaks, the first ad to air was from Ditech and started with the sentence, “People are smart…” Oy.
I don’t understand how people can be duped into such obvious scams. Hold on a second while I check my Myspace inbox. Oh, a new message. Who could this be? She says she’s Abigail.
Well, hello to you.
Well why would you want to be e-mailing me, especially since my profile says I’m married?
Oh, I see. I think I know where this is going.
And here I thought I had a chance.
Cool. She must hate Democrats, too.
That's OK. Nobody’s perfect.
Now you got my attention.
Yeah, I know what you mean. This whole Myspace messaging application is the suq, even though you sent this message through Myspace.
No, thank you. I’m just glad you didn’t ask me to sent any money due to an inheritance you can’t get access to because the account is in Nigeria and you have bad credit over at the Dark Continent. If that were to happen, I might think this e-mail could be fake.
10:30 p.m.
• Zoo for you.
Translation: Some horse fucked an idiot to death. And when it was discovered that it’s legal to frolic with a barnyard animals in Washington, Larry Craig said, “Damn, I should have been a senator one state over.”
Oh, and did you know there is a Roadhouse 2 out there? From IMDB's trivia section:
My guess is that the script had Dalton V2.0 not cerebral enough.
10 p.m.
• So today we took JJ to the vet, which he wasn’t very happy about. Now whenever one of the kids has a vet appointment, we try to sit in a secluded area of the waiting room. Today we weren’t able to get “our spot” and had to sit with other people and pets. Now one trick I do which seems to work is when we’re situated, I open the door to their carrier. This way they aren’t “confined” but rather able to roam but choose not to due to the fact they are scared shitless because they are away from home. Actually, I do this more for my sanity because when that door is closed Dessa, JJ and Max won’t stop crying. Well, I noticed something rather stupid on this trip. We were sitting across from this lady with a golden retriever. Nothing major. Then this woman comes in with her cat and sits, in a near-empty waiting room, RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOG. The dog goes over to check out the carrier and the cat flips out, causing must bewilderment to the cat’s owner.
After we got JJ’s meds and took him back home, Mrs. kkk and I went shopping for some stuff. We stopped at Wendy’s for lunch, but the better half didn’t want to wait in line seeing how there were 10-12 people already in front of us. No big deal, I thought, for this reason: there weren’t any children. This is key. Why?
1) Some parents want their kids to order for themselves, much to the chagrin of the poor cashier who can’t understand what the brat is trying to say. The mom and dad think it’s cute. Fuck them. There’s other people waiting in line.
2) Kids get kid’s meals. When I worked fast-food I HATED these fucking things. Not only were many of the smaller portions more difficult to fill (Oh those small McDonald’s fry bags. Grrr.) but if you had to put together a box, those bastards would never fold right.
3) Most times when getting a family’s order together, the kids would be out of control, and the money transaction and getting these people out of line would be a pain in the ass because the parents could never effectively handle their end of the situation.
Turns out my theory was correct, for the most part. The line went rather smoothly, except for the old people that were complaining about something or other. Old people are a toss up. If there’s a gray-hair in line by himself, you might be in trouble because his conversation with the cashier might be his only human interaction for the entire day. Hey, grandpa, I don’t care if your family hates you. Shut the fuck up and go sit in your corner table where you look at everyone and wonder what happened to your measly existence. Now if the old person is with family, you might get away with minimal waiting. The only danger in this scenario would be if the old person has finished bothering the kids/grandkids and turns onto an employee with inane chitchat. Fortunately, this day wasn’t any of these cases.
On the way home we stopped at Kmart to get some cleaning supplies and charcoal. The cleaning supplies weren’t difficult to find, but I was having some difficulty getting charcoal. I asked this one employee who told me to go to customer service. I went to customer service and they told me to go to layaway (?). I went to layaway and they had this look of confusion as to why I would be directed to this part of the store. I shrugged and let her know the name of the CSR who passed the buck. After I got back with Mrs. kkk at the rendezvous point, she noted that she saw an empty shelf where the charcoal would have been all along. I figured as such. From my experiences, Kmart isn’t known for its ample supply of sale items. Ha, I remember back during my Middletown days this only lady flipping out because some advertised item was out of stock. This was around the time the big K announced bankruptcy, and this chick was screaming, “I hope you people go out of business!” No offense, but if you’re that devastated about not being able to get something from Kmart, then you got some issues. Then again, this is coming from the same person who once wished cancer on a bagboy so I’ll put down my briquette before I toss it through my glass front door.
10 a.m.
• I love it when libs in the States whine about how we should be more like those little socialist utopias in Europe. The government tax system. The government health care. The government transportation. The government immigration policy.
12 a.m.
• So I’ve been watching a number of preseason games on the NFL network the last few weeks. What I find interesting are the broadcast teams and the way other places around the country promote their station’s local programming and stuff. I know I’m odd.
• Oh, man. Now I'm starting to like the terrorists.
• More people are making wills for their pets. So? What do you want them to do after you croak -- fend for themselves out in the wild?
If anything were to happen to me and the better half, our three angels would be living at the in-laws house. I can't even imagine the chaos that will ensue from that, especially with the in-laws having a kitty of their own. I'm just glad I'd be dead and not have to worry about cleaning all those litter boxes. If you don't have a family member you can trust to take care of your pets after life takes care of you, I've also heard of nonprofit organizations that will work with you to care for your animals should you die before them. If I were to do this, I'd have to volunteer at the place for a while to see if they are indeed an honest organization.
5:30 p.m.
• Suspended for THIS?
Here's the
Christ, when I was in school there were “problem kids” that would get into nasty brawls that would sometimes involve pummeling any teacher trying to break up the melee, and these hoodlums would be lucky if they got a day off school as a result.
• This country really is in trouble when you got TEXAS halting executions.
It is kind of weird that the getaway driver would be treated the same as the trigger person, but don’t mess with Texas. Well, I guess now you can a little bit.
7 p.m.
• Yet another fun day of work. This time I got into a heated argument with the idiot boss. What caused this? My quest for the truth. Basically, my primary, time-sensitive job duty -- the job I was hired to do -- needs to be done during the middle of each month. (That might be a reason why sometime I post an entry during the weekend at work during the 2nd-3rd week of a month.) Well, turns out I now have a new duty for the next six months. Take a wild guess when it’s due? Yep. Every 15th. So today, for the second time in two days, I ask the idiot what takes priority – the job I was hired to do or this new one. No answer. For those who work, you may have had experience with what I call the “ostrich supervisor.” That is, the boss who, when faced with bad news or a question he/she doesn’t want to answer, just doesn’t say anything. Yeah, that’ll make it go away. (Actually, I just made the “ostrich” term up 30 seconds ago, but whatever.) Well, I kept asking, and finally this douche said, “both.” Uh, no, fuckwad. One has to come before the other. As I refused to let him off the hook in front of all his little minions in the office, the atmosphere got more and more awkward. Did I mention that I haven't directly looked at him since last June? That’s always a fun thing. It’s always hilarious to me when shit-for-brains employers get afraid of things like the truth and direct questions. Oh, and the cherry on this sundae is the fact that he waited a week-and-a-half to tell me this, when had he informed me of this new duty when it was first conceived I would have it done already. However, now I have to deal with both duties under a much tighter deadline period. (My monthly romp of fun began earlier this week, and from this week on it's a miracle that I get the amount of work I do done in just under three weeks.) Oh, and why wasn't I informed of this when I actually had some "spare" time to work on this? Because at yesterday's meeting where he first told me of this was the first day when another co-worker got back from a weeklong vacation. A co-worker WHO HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY NEWLY ASSIGNED DUTY. So he waited a week and change to tell me something at an "official" meeting that he could have just said to me when it was first created. Actually, I prefer e-mail correspondence because being in his mere presence for longer than 5 seconds makes me ill. Thank Christ my interaction with him is limited due to being two floors below his cubicle of despair.
• So Michael Wilbon was talking about Mike Mussina on PTI today and he mentioned that Mussina had never been a 20-game winner. Really? I’ll be damn. He hit 19 twice and 18 thrice.
• I saw the first “Hitlery” bumper sticker on the way home from work today. Ugh.
• Oh John Edwards. Don’t ever change.
10 p.m.
• Guess Larry the Cable Guy's "fake money/fake titties" idea isn't so good after all.
• Remember that post yesterday about the South having the most fatties?
7 p.m.
• Looks like JJ might have a case of feline acne. We’ll find out Saturday when we take him to the vet. Oh he’s going to love that. Of course having said that the crap near his chin is probably some advanced form of cancer.
• So Mrs. kkk is pissed because the grocery store pulled a fast one on her. She thought she was getting a deal with these hippie melons at 99 cents a pound when they normally retail for $4.99. However, I questioned if this fruit was on sale because the weekly circular advertising this sale said the “golden” melons were on sale, and she was scanning “regular” melons. Turns out I was right. In fact, these magic melons were nowhere to be found; even the “weekly special” special tags weren’t on display. Conspiracy. That’s OK, because I had the audacity to talk to a woman later on in the shopping trip that was easy on the eyes, which of course means I was trying to bang her. It wasn’t that I was asking if she had seen this particular item that the better half had been spending THREE WEEKS trying to find and this person had several boxes of this item (in a different flavor) in her cart and was looking for more. No, that couldn’t have been it. I was trying to get those digits. After all, with me in my five-year old Wal-Mart t-shirt and black shorts I’m sure I looked like a real catch. Then again, I’d rather hear her bitch about this than that goddamn tv dinner with the egg roll.
3 p.m.
• So I was just at this meeting and my idiot boss was talking about preparations for an upcoming seminar. The question was when should it be held – in the fall or next spring. Now I’ve said before in this blog that this moron lives the mantra, “That’s what the last minute is for,” so he was telling those in the room that if a seminar was to be conducted in the fall that there wouldn’t be much time to prepare. So when it was decided that the seminar would take place in April, he said, “Good, now we can push this off to the side,” adding that this gives him more time to prepare. Yeah, and seven/eight months from now you’ll be frantic about how this project snuck up on you. I got to get the hell out of this place.
• Idaho? You da ho. I've been waiting all day to say that.
Actually, this brings back the memory of an ebonics joke about why there can never be a Miss Ebonic pagent. Nobody wanted to be a certain state known for it's potatoes and crappy movies.
9:45 p.m.
• Well, today was “mow the lawn” day. It stopped being humid and I decided to take advantage of the situation. This was also the first time all year I bothered to crank up the ol’ BBQ. Holy fuck do my grills need cleaning. I know all that gunk makes the food more flavorful, but these things resemble stalactites more than ashy flavor-enhancers. Wait a minute: Is stalactites the ones that hang from the top of something, or is that stalagmites? Whatever, you get the idea.
• Hey, another story about how the South has the most fat people.
But this is what made me laugh.
What the fuck – Obesity policies? How exactly is there a “policy” for obesity? And all this time I thought it was people’s choices that made them fat. You know, the bad food, the laziness, the bad food. Can’t wait to see how Big Brother will try to make us all a little smaller. What they ought to do is treat fatties more like smokers and jack up premiums for those that break a sweat waddling to the nearby refrigerator for a between-commercials snack. Don’t like it? Then get on a treadmill.
2 p.m.
• Oh dear God. (Here's the
Sad thing if she went straight from high school into the workforce she'd make more as some exec's eye candy than I do at my job. Actually, she's probably a very smart girl. I think there's a good chance she got spooked for being in front of a national television audience and I think we're all being a bit mean to her. Why am I defending her? I heard she was 18 and figured I might have a chance to get this ditz on her knees, or better yet on all fours, and not get arrested. Because I'm sensitive like that.
• Sure I could talk about the Vick case, but why bother when you have this?
• And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). This chick called in to complain about her lesser half’s small business, which doesn’t make any profit. The “nursery” brings in just enough money to keep the business running – that’s it. When asked what this man did before to support himself, the caller’s response was “he lives with his mother.” And that’s where this couple is living at this moment.
11 p.m.
• Wonder if this will be on their Vh1 show?
Looks like the tree no-sold the crash. I don't care about tasteless jokes -- the kid was speeding. I'm just glad no bystanders were affected by Nick's act of stupidity (or his friend's; the article didn't say who was driving).
7 p.m.
• Well the better half and I had yet another epic debate last night. Yesterday we went to my niece-in-law’s residence for her 11th birthday party. For those keeping score at home, this is the daughter of my crack-whore sister-in-law and little sister of my out-of-control niece-in-law. Thankfully, this one lives with her dad and step-mom in a relatively normal environment. This was the first time Mrs. kkk and I had ever been over this house, and when we got there we sat on the deck with a few other people. I had a rare bout with car sickness on the way over, so I was feeling a bit queezy. I figured getting up and eating some food would be the cure, and I was right. The hostess was asking everyone if they wanted nachos, and I agreed to pass out the food. I went into their kitchen, grabbed a few nacho trays and handed them out to everybody. About 30 minutes later I went back into the kitchen, which is located right next to the deck, to get a second helping because I hadn’t had nachos in a long time and they were so f’n good. About an hour or so later, a bunch of us went into the kitchen to sing “happy b’day” to the birthday girl, and I stay in the kitchen to eat my ice cream cake because of the heat and humidity that was outside. On top of that, there were about a dozen kids around taking up space (they had been swimming for most of the time so now deck space was at a premium), so I figured staying indoors would ease the congestion. Besides, they had central air.
On the way home, we were talking about a number of things, and then the better half said the following: “I was uncomfortable with you going into a house we had never been at before.”
Que?
Oh I had a field day with this. First off, it’s not like I kicked open the door, checked out all the bedrooms and took a dump in the main bathroom with the door open. Besides, the door to the deck/kitchen was OPEN. There was FOOD. I must be an odd host, because I’d actually want people to do things like getting up from their chairs to go over and get food to eat. You know, it’s not even worth it to go into any more detail over this. The oven’s pre-heat timer just rang and now it’s time to put in the fishsticks.
All in all, it was a good enough day. The niece-in-law had the happiest reaction from the present Aunt Better Half and Uncle kkk got her, and considering Mrs. kkk actually keeps track of present reactions, I guess that was a good thing. Yes, she bitches when the presents she we get one of her nieces or nephews doesn’t get the happiest reaction at the party. I’m sure I’ll go into more detail about this sometime down the road.
10 p.m.
• Holy crap. Tim Wakefield has 16 wins?
Awesome. I have always been a Wakefield mark ever since he made it to the bigs. Here's how old Tim is: He pitched for the Pirates when they were a playoff team.
• Weird, considering I just saw "Snakes on a Plane" tonight.
12 p.m.
• Yet another way I know I’m getting older. Comcast has a variety of music channels that range from rap to rock to stuff from the 1980s and 1990s. What’s my favorite category? Old School Rap. I don’t think it’s a regular channel but rather is on a channel that plays different music for a day or two, and one of the genres in its rotation is hip-hop from the 1980s-90s. I absolutely LOVE this channel. This morning they had some old Queen Latifah track, Special Ed’s “I got it made,” Beasties’ “The new style,” Del’s “Mista Dobalina” and several other songs I hadn’t heard before but liked nevertheless. Funny thing is when I got over to the contemporary rap channel, I can only put up with 30 seconds or so of whatever’s playing. I’m not hating on today’s rap, but it just doesn’t do anything for me. Then again, I’m sure back in the early 1990s when I thought Ice Cube’s “Death Certificate” album was playing there were people who grew up on Parliament who would cringe at lines like “Because you let a Jew break up my crew” and “So pay respect to the black fist or we’ll burn your store right down to a crisp.” Just a generational thing, I guess.
• Finally saw "High Noon." Not the TNT remake some years ago, but rather the original filmed in black-and-white. Wow, if I was the marshal I'd be bitter, too. Oh for fuck's sake.
Can't we have one movie where there isn't some commie subplot? Well that explains why it is ranked #27 on the American Film Institute's greatest movie list.
I'm sure there's a joke to be made about the women in this movie and "High Noon" but he's been out of office for six-plus years now and I'm not exerting the effort.
