So with all the issues facing Shittsburgh...
* The RECESSION~!
* The fact that the city had no money before said RECESSION~!
* Toledo having more residents, thus showing how all those with a shred of common sense have left this shit hole. Oh, and Mud hens > Pirates. No, seriously. The Hens would beat the Bucs. In a best of seven.
* An increasing homicide rate, which may not be a bad thing because at least the welfare rolls are getting thinned out.
What is the number one topic on the news this week?
...
In other news, Pizza Hut is now going to be known as Pasta Hut.
OMGAPRILFOOLZROTFLMAOTERRIBLETOWEL2009~!
For those of you who wonder why the location in my user profiles reads "Just outside the county line that encompasses Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania," now you know. Truth be told, I really don't care. Cities do this dumb shit all the time. What is more pathetic than the "name change" is the local media coverage this received. Good Christ, this was in the LEAD STORY segment of the local news that Mrs. kkk was watching earlier this week.
Upon further review, I never really noticed the "Ravens" in the boy mayor's last name. I am now genuinely surprised that he was able to win the Democrat primary with that last name. Then again, the primary season doesn't take place during football season. The November general election is just a gimmie to Democrats anyway, so the real action takes place during the primaries.
And these are just some of the reasons why I love Westmoreland County.
Remember that you're playing against the team that didn't want your services at the helm. For God's sake please beat the Steelers, if only because if the black and gold win I'll have to deal with local stories like, "OMG DAN ROONEY IS GOING TO MEET PRESIDENT HUSSEIN IN THE WHITE HOUSE" once the winning Super Bowl team heads to D.C. Yeah, ol' Dan sure loves Osama -- that's why he was trying to sell the Steelers before President Hussein could jack up the capital gains tax. That old bastard should have to pay out the difference anyway; do as I say not as I do indeed.
8:45 p.m.
• So I don't know what's funnier. Hearing the better half yell "fatass" whenever the Arizona Cardinals did something good in today's game against the Philadelphia Eagles ("fatass" is her pet name for our Philly-based governor; she hates everything from the City of Brotherly Love now), or hearing her shout obscenities whenever there’s yet another ad/reference to President Hussein and his big day.
• I'm glad the Steelers didn't score any points at the end of the first half. That "roughing the punter" call was utter bullshit.
Nice to see you have enough time to go on late-night television and fill out a March Madness bracket -- It's not like you have anything better to do, o' favorite Son of Kenya. On second thought, if this Bread and Circuses routine keeps you distracted for any length of time from implementing your socialist schemes, I'll ask you to fill out a bracket for the remaining NIT rounds. Actually, during the whole Clinton impeachment period, I was all for the process. It wasn't partisan; it was more because it kept Congress and the Prez from doing anything else.
Speaking of which, I need to fill out MY brackkket. Oh who am I kidding? I haven't even posted last year's baseball results from that annual competition I have with that pseudo-baseball expert we have at this place.
• So the NCAA Women’s Final Four is over and done with. Go Maryland. Actually, I don’t care about women’s basketball on the collegiate level (or any other level for that matter), but if other people like watching it, and there's an audience for this market, then more power to them. I was watching some highlights this morning of the final game and something caught my eye. Schools have female cheerleaders for women’s sports? Odd. If I was a male athlete, I don’t know how I’d feel if every time I scored a basket a bunch of guys in matching outfits and pom poms sitting under the hoop would get up and dance around – not that there’s anything wrong with that mind you. Oh, and I am sincere when I say congratulations to Maryland for winning the women’s title – I don’t like college sports, but any team that beats Penn State or Duke is OK by me.
• Lovecraft is still waxing poetic on faux hippies, and he reminded me of a college experience. Back in 1998, before he became the first boss of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge was a Republican governor of Pennsylvania. Even though some of his critics, particularly the union crowd, dubbed him “One-Term Tom” he was for the most part a popular governor, and the Democrats really didn’t have anyone to go up against him for his re-election bid. The Democrats brought out some old guy by the name of Ivan Itkin who had no shot at beating Ridge. Itkin came to our school one night to do a taping for our student television crew, and I spoke with him afterward for an article in our school newspaper. He seemed like a nice guy, and although I had no intention of voting for him, I felt he genuinely believed what he was saying. Of course, this guy had no chance of winning; in fact, his campaign strategy was to go around in only a dozen or so counties pimping what he could do as the state's next governor. The problem was Pennsylvania has more than 60 counties. Granted some counties are bigger than others, but with a strategy like that, especially when your opponent is reasonably well-liked throughout the state, you are destined to lose.
After his television segment was over, and before I was about to talk with him, I was chatting with some blonde chick that was part of the student TV production crew. I was waiting for Itkin to arrive outside the studio, and she was waiting for a nearby elevator to come to our floor. For some reason she must have assumed I was a lib just like her because she began saying what a great guy Itkin was and how he’d make a great governor. Obviously, she hadn’t been reading up on current events, because even the more liberal media in the Shittburgh area were questioning Itkin’s chances of victory against Ridge. I had to break it to her that her guy had no shot of winning this election. When she asked why, I explained to her his pisspoor campaign strategy, lack of a war chest and the fact that the evil Republican governor wasn’t so bad, at least in the eyes of the Pennsylvania voters. At that moment she got a dejected look, the likes I have only seen in former blind dates when they realize that I’m the person they’re going to be spending an evening with, and said, “Oh, no. That means we’re going to have four more years of Governor Tom Ridge.” It was at that moment the elevator door opened, and as she walked into it and hit a floor button I said to her, “You’re saying that like it’s a bad thing.” As the doors closed, you should have seen the look of fright and disgust on her face; you would have thought she had encountered the Anti-Christ, or, worse yet, George W. Bush.
• Oh, and for those who wondered what I did on my 30th birthday yesterday, here’s a quick rundown: Went to work, made a vet appointment for Max, who is having issues with going to the bathroom. Left work for a few hours to get him to an appointment slot that was available that day. (If you have a cat, particularly a male, who is struggling to urinate, get them checked out ASAP. Chances are it’s just a urinary tract infection, which is what Max has, but other times it could be more serious, and even life-threatening, as was the case with my in-law’s cat, who had his pee hole clogged up.) Went back to work. Ate at a ghetto all-you-can-eat pizza chain store called CiCi’s. (It’s one of those places I eat at every six months or so, and every time I do I swear I’m never going back. But then whenever I need to intake some more disgusting, greasy food I return and the cycle starts all over again.) Went grocery shopping (saved $40 off a $110 order for those keeping score at home). Picked up Max from the vet. Unloaded groceries. Laid in bed swearing that I’ll never go back to CiCi’s again. The End.
Thanks for stealing my joke that was going to be used at just the right time. Oh well, you may have those fly rhymes already posted, but you ain't got deez skills. Now chiggety check yo' self befo you wriggety wreck yo' self.
Aw hell no. Damn remixes...
5:11 onward is how it goes down in the hood.
You're a fighter. Stay on the court for another four, maybe eight years, before stepping down.
10 a.m.
• This is one fucked up story. And don't even bother with the "Big Beaver" jokes. I beat you to the donkey punch. The last sentence is ... well. Just read.
Remember a while back you asked which ESPN nimrod I was talking about regarding this past entry?
Saw him again this morning and got the name: Michael Hill.
I heard your comment about Bud Selig making $17 million in 2007. Nobody deserves to be paid that much? Don’t worry, I’m sure YOUR BOY President Hussein will make your wish come true. I know you're a commie and all, but you do entertain me on PTI. And to your credit, you do keep your unAmerican comments at bay for the most part.
8:30 p.m.
• So the city of Shittsburgh was involved in some game the other day. I caught a few minutes of it. Here’s some stuff:
1) Great game, but not THE BEST OF ALL TIME. Get a grip, ESPN.
2) The Harrison beat-down that got 15 yards isn’t an eject-worthy offense. Jesus Christ, I’ve seen MUCH worse in terms of beat-downs during punt coverage.
3) Santonio Holmes deserves to be the MVP. Yes, Ben made the throws, but Holmes made the catches. And there were a number of catches that Santonio made during the game that he turned into big plays.
3a) Actually, Kurt Warner should be the MVP of both teams. After all, he had just as many touchdown passes to Steeler players as did Ben.
3b) One of the things I like about Ben is his movement in and out of the pocket. It’s amazing to see him avoid defenders and make a throw. Sometimes the results are disastrous, but no pain no gain. It was interesting to see Ben do what he did all game and then to watch Warner try to do the same thing on Arizona’s final play of the game.
4) The Cardinals beat themselves. They should have won that game.
5) That roughing penalty on Ben Roethlisberger was bullshit. That roughing penalty on the field goal holder later in the drive wasn’t.
6) When the Steelers kicked the second field goal deep in Cardinal territory I knew there was going to be a comeback. If the Cards would have won this game, the decision not to go for the touchdown early in the first quarter was going to haunt Tomlin for quite some time.
7) Holmes' feet were both down on that touchdown catch. And I did get a laugh out of his LeBron impersonation. I’ve heard “why wasn’t that excessive celebration penalty enforced.” I don’t know. Here’s a thought, though. It looked like Holmes’ back was to the field; my guess is that the officials just thought he was going to spike the ball or something mild and thus weren’t paying attention to Santonio’s antics.
8) I still don’t know what’s worse: “One for the OTHER thumblol” or “Six-pack.”
9) Since when did President Hussein become a Steelers fan? Stop sucking Rooney's cock -- the election is over. And for the record, the Cards were actually a Chicago team once upon a time, so you should have been pulling for your relocated loveable losers.
10) Broadway Joe, you can present all the Lombardi trophies you want. I'll always remember you for this:
9 p.m.
• Holy crap. Scott Keith's Biggest Fan is a prophet.
Link.
My n*gga.
11 p.m.
• While some may think President Hussein may be able to walk on water, he sure can't walk through windows/doors/walls.
Remember when a certain ex-president made such a flub?
• Boy, it's a good thing Osama didn't pick this former senator to head anything in the Treasury department. That would have been embarrassing.
• If Bruce shouldn't have made a deal somewhere, it should have been with his vetting team. Who WOULDN'T think a deal with Wal-Mart would go over well with the commies he frolics with?
• OK, if you can't see the writing on the wall here, then you deserve to show up to work one day and find the doors locked.
Perhaps the "real killers" are already in jail, making your quest to find them all the easier.
9 p.m.
• So the home furnace went bye-bye last night. Awesome. DAMN YOU BUSH ECONOMY~!
Yeah, the financial hit sucks, but you know what? That's why there's something called a RAINY DAY FUND. This way, when something like this happens you go, "Oh shit. Well, now it'll take a bit of time to work my checking account back up to the amount I want it to be at a minimum." Rather than "OMG I CAN'T AFFORD IT FORECLOSURE FOR ME DAMN YOU GEORGE W. BUSH~!~!"
But here's the best part of the whole ordeal.
While I was at work, the better half told the furnace guy was over and told her we had one of two options. One was a patchwork deal that would last a few years before something else on the furnace goes on the fritz. The whole contraption has about 4 years left. The other option is to replace the thing. Now Mrs. kkk is having a fucking MELTDOWN over all this, although to be fair most of it was because of her layoff. So I'm trying to be the rational one and telling her what are the plusses and minuses of getting a new furnace and doing a stopgap.
My preliminary decision was this: I wanted the new furnace. However, I did not want to spend the money for it right now. We had more than enough in the bank, but because Mrs. kkk hasn't gotten gainful employment, I didn't want to chance making a purchase like this, especially when the initial "estimate" had a $2,000 margin of error. Until we got a more accurate estimate/price quote, I was leaning to the stopgap measure. That way we'd be fine this winter and we could go an save for a new furnace over the next year or two.
Mrs. kkk's reaction? "GWWARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR." And I didn't even know she was a fan of the group.
After talking with her in this state of mind, I said I wanted to think about this. We had time because the "more accurate quote" would be done later that day. I wanted my boss' opinion on the situation, so we talked for a few minutes. It wasn't a "woe is me" type conversation. I just wanted to get her insight on the whole thing. She then tells me that I was going to get a $1500 Christmas bonus this year, and after hearing that my mind was made up on getting the furnace.
So after our chat I told the better half of this development. And what were her first words upon hearing this?
"Why are you getting such a large amount?"
"Why are you getting such a large amount?"
The fuck? Because I don't work for a bunch of dickheads anymore, I bust my ass and I'm actually APPRECIATED for what I do. Good Christ.
Today we had to take Dessa to the vet. Having done this for about seven years now, the better half and I have devised an efficient way to round up whoever needs to go and get their shots. A while back I read somewhere that cats can understand a few words, and if this is indeed the case, “time to go to the vet” has to be one of those familiar phrases. Every time one of them has to go in the carrier, they all seem to have a sixth sense that something is up.
Most of the time when we get home from work, the three of them get up from the spots where they spent the day sleeping and meet us at the front door, hoping we will go into their feeding room and give them some Meow Mix. However, today JJ was under the dining room table, Dessa was under the living room coffee table, and Max was behind some chairs under the kitchen island. And none of them wanted to move. While Mrs. kkk rounded up the unlucky kitty, I went downstairs to get the carrier, which is large enough to comfortably fit a medium-sized dog. After getting confirmation that the target has been picked up, I picked up this contraption. This is when the fur hits the fan. The two cats that aren’t tied up make a beeline for underneath a bed, either in the master bedroom on the first floor or upstairs in the spare bedroom. The cat that is picked up tries to get away, but to no avail (usually – JJ can sometimes wrestle away if given enough space). Once we drop the contained cat into the carrier, they start immediately with the crying, like that’s going to make a difference. “You know, Max, we were going to take you to the vet for your rabies and distemper shots, but after that last whimper you convinced us otherwise.”
Fortunately, Dessa checked out with a clean bill of health, but she could have been in much worse shape on the trip back home. I’m a pretty defensive driver, and one thing I HATE is when another motorist is trying to direct you when they have no control on impending traffic. A good example of this is when you are at a stop light at a four-way intersection and want to turn left. Across from you is a motorist in the left lane of their two-lane road and is waving you on to turn. There’s just one problem: YOU CAN’T SEE WHAT IS COMING IN THE OTHER LANE! These people are the embodiment of liberalism. They have good intentions, but if you follow their path you will surely regret it.
Well, this sort of thing happened to me on the way home from the vet. While driving along the left lane of Rt. 30 West, which is a two-lane highway, I noticed this vehicle in the right lane that had its right blinker on and had slowed down to a near halt. As my eyes were focusing back on the road, I noticed the motorist was making a “waving” gesture, and suddenly I realized this person was probably letting someone pull out. I slammed on the brakes. There was no screeching or the smell of burnt rubber, but there might as well have been. Suddenly this old guy in a red four-door car pulled out in front of me and the bitch that had waved him out. Had I not stopped, I would have plowed into him head-on because he was trying to cross our two lanes to get on Rt. 30 East.
I wasn’t mad at him as much as I was pissed off at the person who said it was OK for him to pull out in oncoming traffic. It wasn’t worth shouting at this bitch because my windows were up and she was already halfway into her turn to the parking lot when I snapped out of my “Christ this could have been a bad accident” trance.
On a side note, while we were at the vet, I couldn’t help but laugh at this black lab that was freaked out by having to be in the vet’s waiting room. You could tell he didn’t want to be there because his tail was in-between his legs and he wasn’t walking but rather being slid across the linoleum floor by his owner. But when his owner took a seat, the dog sniffed the lady next to him, and just like that his tail was wagging and he was having a great time being petted. Of course with Dessa all she does is just sit there and pout in her carrier; even when we take her back home, she bolts out of the carrier and hides under a bed for a couple of hours. The two males we have aren’t as bad, but they won’t be mistaken for that black lab anytime in the near future.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 84: Crono T
Every now and then a poster comes around that changes everything, that rewrites all the rules. With the number 84 spot I proudly announce the emergence of one CronoT. Now I know what you're saying, "How in the hell did Crono make this oh-so-prestigious list?" The answer is simple. Not many people have been able to produce the kind of quality than our very own Mr. T used to. Let us take just a brief trip down memory lane.
-- Czech, I'm tired of your fucking power trip.
-- A fucking moron writes a GTA:SA "Walkthrough."
-- Commenting about the view-to-reply ratio of his threads. Example 1, Example 2, Example 3, Example 4, Example 5, and Example 6
-- Not being able to survive without TSM during Monday Night Raw.
-- Looking out for the welfare of our children by fighting televised obscenity.
-- Weeping over a very emotional flash movie.
-- Going after illegal video game distributors at your local mall.
-- Refusing to take part in America's civic duties.
-- When not bulking up by pushing shopping carts back into Wal-Mart stores, Crono was making fun of the Sony corporation for premature advertising.
While some are glad Crono is gone, I am not one of these people (although there are rumors that he has returned under a different name, however, it won't be the same). Hell, it's not everyday that someone on this list gets their very own entry. And if it wasn't for Crono T, I would have no idea what the "Frog Ending" means. So, with a tip of the cap and a moment of silence, let us take this time to remember a former cornerstone of our TSM family.
When you're good enough to get the Best Ending, the Frog Ending, and the Secret Ending, then we'll talk. Until then, keep on digging, Watson.
And now a word or three from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From SFA Jack:
From Porter:
From King of the 909:
So you retired from coaching to focus on ministry stuff. Best of luck to you, bro. I have always been a huge fan of yours. How much of a fan am I? If Tony was ever to find KK's Korner and read some most all of the stuff I post here, I might actually feel ashamed of myself. ... I said "might."
For as much as a Dungy fan I am, I will say this: He should have been fired from Tampa Bay. I remember when the Bucs got rid of him all the ESPN talking heads, among others in the sports reporting biz, were shouting OMG RACSIM BLAHBLAHBLAH~! Fuck that. It was the right move. Did Tony turn a joke of a franchise into a contender? Yes. Was he able to get this team over that hump to advance in the playoffs? No. Bringing in the asshole-ish Gruden got the Bucs a Super Bowl win in his first year. Of course, that's all he's done, but would you rather have one Super Bowl win or none? And when Dungy was fired, I said to those who would listen (all three of them, and they had no choice because we were all at the same bus stop) that he'd get hired again and all would be right with the world. Turns out I was correct. And now both Dungy and Gruden are unemployed.
Now before you think I just point out my correct predictions, I'll provide equal time for something I was way off base on this past NFL season: I thought Matt Ryan was a poor draft selection for the Falcons. Happy now?
10 p.m.
• So I was flipping through channels today and noticed that CNN is having nine hours of coverage on the "Osama Express;" his choo-choo ride from wherever to D.C. And then I saw some promo for cBS television on "Yes We Can Monday" that featured the cast of "Two-and-a-Half Men" getting that Soviet-style red/blue portrait President Hussein's followers plastered all over the country. Just for shits and giggles, I wonder if I can find this anywhere. Well that only took one Google search, and half a cyber-kettle of tea brewed.
Good Christ. I think I'm going to be playing DVDs and video games Monday.
On a side note, at what age does that kid have to be in order for the show to no longer be called "Two-and-a-Half Men"?
• And here I thought shooting for "Notorious" wrapped up months ago.
In today’s editorial titled: "Drop Dasschole: The health nominee is not up to Osama's standard," your editorial board starts out with the following:
Now after a few paragraphs of “blahblahblah” I notice this passage:
Now let’s look at today’s editorial headline one more time.
Drop Dasschole: The health nominee is not up to Osama's standard
I’m curious to know why there isn’t any concern about Osama’s “standard." You even took the time to list the gang President Hussein thought would be ideal to tell us how to lead our lives -- Mr. Holder, Mr. Geithner and Mr. Lynn. How come no "concern" is expressed about Mr. Osama's judgment in people? Oh, yeah. I remember. Because your publication is nothing more than left-wing trash and is in financial dire straits.
At least one good thing has come out from all this. For years you liberal faggots whined about being called "unpatriotic." Well, after having the current vice president tell us that paying taxes is "the patriotic thing to do," I completely understand why President Hussein's posse don't bother to fulfill their civic duties when it comes to filling the public coffers with their hard-earned money.
7:30 p.m.
• So there is this poster WHOSE NAME WILL NEVER BE REVEALED UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH that is recapping his trip to some overpriced corporate theme park. Reading his entries of unforgettable family moments got me the thinking of the time I went to the Magic Kingdom.
I can’t remember how young I was, but my old man was in-between his second and third marriage. After he married my old lady, she divorced him (probably for good reason) and sold the house that he spent YEARS fixing up. Serves him right. Before marrying wife number three he spent some time with this other woman. He was with her for quite some time, actually. Enough time to completely renovate her basement into an apartment that she got to charge rent to tenants. Oddly enough, she dumped him afterward. If I were even somewhat observant, I’d be detecting a pattern here.
Well anyway, I was going to Disney World with him and Wife 2.5. I can’t remember if there were any other people with us. There might have been; I just can’t recall. Before going to Disney World we stopped at some diner for breakfast, which is surprising enough considering the old man HATES to eat out. Now I didn’t like eating eggs, especially ones that are sunny-side up. When that yolk breaks it just looks so … blech. I wanted to order this other breakfast deal that included a muffin and a few other not-so-messy items. This drove pops over the edge because I guess not eating eggs for breakfast is just one step away from turning queer. So he threw one of his usual fits of rage and REFUSED TO TALK FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. Now if this were to happen today, I would find it funny as hell. But when you’re a kid this stuff freaks you out. I also overheard him bitching to pseudo-wifey later that night when I was supposed to be asleep about me, which just did wonders for the rest of our time in Florida. The only thing I can remember from the actual trip was that Small World. And from the MYSTERY POSTER’s recap of this ride, it seems like not much have changed. But whatever, I’m on a roll talking about the old man.
For as crappy as every trip with the old man has been in my life, nothing could compare to the time he went to Florida with his soon-to-be-wife-number-three and her bratty grandsons. I think I was in 8th-9th grade when he asked if I wanted to go with him and company to Florida for another round of family fun. Vividly remember my previous experience many moons ago I respectfully declined. Can’t remember the reason: I think it was “this was my first summer not having to go to summer school in some time and I wanted to just stay at home.” Yeah, I was/am quite the scholar.
A few weeks later the old man called me and told me about his trip. Here’s what happened in a nutshell. They got a hotel some distance from Disney World. No surprise there. (What, you think I got my cheapness all by myself?) The grandkids got mad because they wouldn’t have breakfasts/dinners at the theme park due to the prices. Once again, no surprises. After a day or so the grandkids then called their mother (the daughter of my future mother-in-law) to complain. The next call was to a local Child Youth Service agency (or something similar). The AUTHORITIES paid dad a visit and said the kids in his care were citing abusive behavior and squalor living conditions.
Wow.
All I have to say is that after this experience, I think dad appreciated me just a smidgeon more than he used to. Sure I was/am a fuck-up, but damn… Damn.
Family – lol.
So I was watching ESPN today and saw some stupid ad talking about how the Dominican Republic or some other second-tier country that's really good at baseball had an AMAZING RUN in the first-ever WBC. The title of this ad was something like "Great WBC moments." This is the SECOND FUCKING TIME this baseball exhibition has been played. Even the Fu-Schnickens went through two albums before putting out a "greatest hits" CD.
• So I’ve been listening to this financial guy on RIGHT-WING RADIO Dave Ramsey for a while now, and it’s a pretty enjoyable show. Basically, he talks to people about their money matters. I don’t learn much, if anything, from this program, but goddamn are some of his callers funny. There was one the other day that was great. This lady called and said that her and the hubby have more than $200,000 worth of student loan debt between them. The husband went to law school, passed the Bar exam and then became a stay-at-home dad once they produced a little crumb snatcher. Sorry, but when you go to law school you don’t get to be a stay-at-home anything unless it’s a private practice. But the best part was when Dave asked her what she did for a living. She said that she spent more than $100,000 for her Master’s Degree education. And just what was that Degree in? Non-profit Money Management. You can’t make this shit up.
• Is it any surprise that more than a billion of dollars worth of fraud is now coming to light in wake of the Hurricane Katrina aftermath? I’m surprised the amount is that low. In a way I feel for the faceless administrators and pencil pushers that gave away this money like it was water, but not the kind that strands you on your rooftop. After all, if they actually took their time to research each claim and determine whether it was legitimate or not, they would get the third degree for being cold-hearted and dragging their feet while dead bodies were piling up in the Superdome freezer.
• Darryl Hannah, in a show of protest or something, climbed up some tree to prevent a private property owner from getting rid of this hippie garden where illegals grew crops or something. God forbid this guy do what he wants with HIS property. This sounds like another case for the Supreme Court. I think the funniest thing from all of this is that with the Hollywood celebrities who came to the garden’s defense (Hannah, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ed Harris and Martin Sheen to name a few), you think they could have all chipped in and purchased the land with the $16 million price its owner was asking for. However, the biggest story in all of this is that the Los Angeles Times actually wrote something I agree with.
Now you don’t read stuff like this everyday from this commie publication. Whatever could be the reason for this turn to common sense -- could they be trying to put a somewhat normal face on this rag to prospective buyers? Nah.
• And with all the shit that Philadelphia is dealing with – crime, poverty, failing government schools – it’s nice to know they’re going to come down hard on a guy operating a cheesesteak place just because he has a “Speak English when ordering” sign.
• Wow. The Poland/Germany World Cup game is on and Poland is trying to eek out a 0-0 tie. This would be a win for them because one of their players got red-carded earlier in the game. In the 90th minute two German players, just a few feet away from Poland’s goal, took point-blank shots and hit the crossbar each time. Well this all doesn’t matter because as I’m typing this Germany just scored. Having played several games of soccer as a kid, I can say giving up a goal in the waning minutes of a tied game is probably one of the worst feelings you can get when playing this sport. Well that or unsuccessfully trapping a rock-hard ball with your inner thigh in freezing weather without wearing a jock strap. I think the worst thing about that whole experience was I couldn’t just kneel over and cry, even though I wanted to more than anything else at that moment in time. After I cleared the ball from my area I tried “walking” the pain off. Didn’t work. Not by a long shot.
This is too long to type out to make a “comment” when I can milk it for an actual post.
The cats are fine for the most part. We have the two males in one room upstairs and the two females in the other upstairs room. They haven’t been around our cats for the most part because the “Welfare Four” have never been fixed or taken for a vet appointment. We also don’t want them getting into trouble with the various wires around the house as well, so for now they are quarantined.
What’s funny is that the three litter mates (two males/one female) aren’t a problem at all. However, the mother is a pain in the ass. Much like her owner, she’s a whiny cunt that always wants out and constantly scratches the door and cries at the top of her lungs. Every time I hear her it reminds me more and more about the crack-whore niece-in-law. Earlier this week we introduced her to Max, who is always hanging around the two closed rooms. Of course, after a week of trying to get out and interact with the other cats of the house, this little bitch starts growling and hissing. Integrating her with the rest of the group is going to be a joy – while Max just stood there dumbfounded, if she pulls this shit with JJ or Dessa, the result will be different. Ha. Even as I’m typing this, the mother cat (named “Princess”) is swatting her female 8 month-old kitten because she went up and sniffed her. Man, Princess is so much like her owner it’s hilarious. (Guess I could make the comment here that both parties went out and got knocked up.)
Semi-related story. I’m actually amazed that our three cats haven’t been carrying on with the new additions. They HAVE to know something is up, what with the closed doors and meowing. Last night I was cleaning the house and noticed JJ on the living room couch looking outside with his tail puffed out – a sign that something was out there. Sure enough it was another cat. Sure enough I was correct. About 15 minutes later I was cleaning the female’s upstairs room, and in order to do that whenever I went into one room I herded that room’s occupants to the upstairs bathroom. When I did this with the female’s room I kept the door open. JJ came in and looked around. Now even though the scent of foreign cat was in the room, along with a multitude of other “clues,” the first thing he does is go over to the food dish and start eating. No puffy tail. No investigation into the bathroom, which was closed and had meows emanating from the inside. No nothing. Christ is he dense.
KKK’s Top 103 Poste_s
Numbe_ 72: The Th_ead Kille_
I didn’t know much about this guy until he came out of the closet. Is he a homo? I don’t know. Howeve_, he admitted something that’s much b_ave_ than that. He admitted to being a fan of mine. That could get you black-balled in some places. Too bad he’s olde_ than me and not a hot chick whose panties got wet eve_y time I said the magic wo_ds “OMG FAUX NEWS LOL2003/4/5/6!” Maybe he does wea_ panties and get them wet wheneve_ the ph_ase of the day is said, but that’s going down a path I’d _athe_ not t_avel – not that the_e’s anything w_ong with taking that _oad, it’s just that it’s a bit on the bumpy side, and my shocks a_e ve_y sensitive. He also “saved” the othe_ place, so that’s anothe_ plus. I don’t know if he’s an economist, but since he’s Canadian he would only be a f_action of what TSM’s Ame_ican mic_o/mac_o numbe_ c_unche_s a_e. Neve_theless, I’d still like him, but only in a plutonic sense.
And now a wo_d f_om the expe_t panel I have put togethe_ to comment on the people I’ve listed.
F_om Cance_ Ma_ney:
• So W finally decided to exe_cise the powe_ of his veto pen. And he came so close to going two te_ms without using it. Of cou_se, instead of x-ing out one of those bloated budgets he goes against emb_yonic stem-cell _esea_ch. Now I’m p_obably on the w_ong side of this issue, but the_e’s just something c_eepy about this. I can’t explain it, so if anyone wants to go “OMG U P_O-LIFE EXT_EMIST U WANTED CH_ISTOPHE_ _EEVE TO STAY IN THAT WHEELCHAI_” then go _ight ahead. And while Bush’s veto is going to supposedly kill millions upon millions of people, what just got _ejected? A bill pimping adult stem-cell _esea_ch. Why? Acco_ding to the a_ticle:
Yet _epublicans a_e the only ones playing politics with this issue.
• Hey, Bush is doing anothe_ fi_st. He’s going to add_ess the NAACP at thei_ convention fo_ the fi_st time. If a bomb went off at NAACP headqua_te_s I wouldn’t shed a tea_ – fuck that g_oup. What they did to W. du_ing the ’00 election was despicable when they _an an ad that compa_ed him opposing hate c_ime legislation to the (at the time) _ecent d_agging death of a black guy. Fuck these bitches. In the so_ta-wo_ds of black commentato_ Julianne Malveaux when she opined on Justice Thomas (just so I can’t be accused of being _ACIST): “You know, I hope the spouses of NAACP leade_s feed them lots of eggs and butte_ and they dies ea_ly like many black men do, of hea_t disease. Well, that’s how I feel. This is an absolutely _ep_ehensible ‘civil _ights’ g_oup."
• I liked the Cle_ks movie, although I only bought the ult_a-special DVD and not the supe_-10-yea_-you’_e-not-a-_eal-fan-if-you-don’t-buy-this-one edition. I’ve _ecently seen some p_eviews fo_ the sequel, and I wasn’t encou_aged. Well now I’m a bit mo_e optimistic. Still won’t see it in the theate_, though. A su_e-fi_e DVD pu_chase.
• The Ba__y-Bonds-is-getting-indicted talk is getting p_etty heated. I hea_d today that if this we_e to happen because he didn’t pay some hippie taxes, o_ whateve_ the case is, Majo_ League Baseball could suspend him, vi_tually squashing any _emote hope he has at catching Hank Aa_on’s home _un _eco_d. I hope this suspension doesn’t happen. No, I haven’t had a change of hea_t towa_d this asshole. I have my _easons. _eason 1) You a_e always innocent until p_oven guilty in this count_y, [unless you’_e Tom Delay] and he should be allowed to make a living. 2) I don’t want him in any way to become a sympathetic figu_e. 3) You thought the fan _eaction to him in the ea_ly pa_t of this yea_ was funny? Man, it’ll be kicked up a notch o_ th_ee should he get indicted; keep the funny signs coming.
• I’ll tell you what, wheneve_ I find this cocksucke_ I’m going to kick his ass. G__________________.
You may now pelt me with _otten pe_ishables.
KKK's Top 103 Posters
Number 83: BDC
He likes to kick some liberal ass and doesn’t consider lethal injection to be one of the dirtier forms of offing a convicted murderer. In addition, he’s the unofficial ninja of the Conservative Brigade. How can he not be on my list?
• Rick Santorum, I love you and all (in a non-homo way, of course), but letting us know that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq isn’t going to erase that 18-point lead Bob Casey, Jr. has on you in the ’06 election. Face it, there’s no way you are going to beat the son of a popular former governor. Not only did you piss off your base by supporting Arlen Spector in the 2004 GOP Primary over conservative Pat Toomey, but the moderate Democrat voters are going to side with Junior because he calls himself pro-life, which I guess passes as being “moderate” enough to be a moderate Democrat, even though I'm sure he'll just tote the party line in any abortion-related vote to reach the Senate. Add to this mess that Ed Rendell will be bringing up the dead in his ’06 re-election bid and you’re looking at a recipe for an election-night loss. You served two terms. Good job. Now go out, get a more lucrative job, and feed your 20 kids while this state continues to go down the shitter by electing Democrats.
• Back when I used to watch wrestling, I remember that Torch Web site had this feature when Wade Keller would let us all know how wrestling had been accepted into the mainstream every time some actor bodyslammed a villain on TV or when some kids at a local mall would tell girls walking by to “suck it.” I have no idea where I’m going with this but Hulk Hogan has just put his mansion near Tampa on the market for $25 million.
• The other day I talked about my groundhog-killing neighbor. Now time to talk about the other residence next to me. When it comes to neighbors I’ve learned that it’s best to just keep to yourself and leave them alone. If they want to be friendly and chat every now and then, that’s fine, but it’s been my experience that most people don’t want to be bothered. Anyway, ever since these people moved in about a year or so ago I haven’t said two words to them. Their dog, on the other hand, won’t shut up any time I come in within 200 feet of her; the dog’s name is Clowly, so I’m guessing it’s a female. So last night I was watering this portion of the back yard that has recently been re-seeded, and Clowly gets let out on her chain. Of course she barks the entire time I’m out there, which doesn’t bother me. However, as I was wrapping the garden hose up and taking it into the garage, these neighbors start yelling at the dog for barking and take her back in. Uh, you did NOTHING for the 10 minutes I was out there when your dog was yapping away, and now that I’m done you decide you can’t take the noise anymore and bring the dog back in? If you would have waited another minute or two, your dog would have quieted down, and you wouldn’t have had to try and pretend like you give a shit about your pet, or what she does outside.
7:30 p.m.
• So another blogger WHOSE NAME I WILL NEVER REVEAL did this Worst *fill in the position* of all time. Now I don’t want to pee in his cornflakes (that’s something nl-asshole would do, the sick bastard), but I felt some of these stats didn’t tell the whole story. For some positions like 2B and SS I’m sure a team would allow the suckitude of a person’s OPS+ (or whatever that thing is) if the player was good defensively. Then again, I have no idea if Don Kessinger committed more errors than Hal Lanier. What, you expect me to actually look this shit up? Just how long have you been skimming through my words just to see pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt or my cats reading my stuff?
Why am I talking about this? Because I’m in a baseball mood today, baby. You see, this other blogger WHOSE IDENTITY I WILL TAKE WITH ME TO THE GRAVE decided to start a thread where you build a MLB team using your favorite club’s draftees. To my surprise, nobody decided to do the Pirates. Well, since the SBuccos are my hometown club, I’ll see what I can do with the renowned Pirate scouting system.
Ohh, there’s Barry Bonds. And Moises Alou. That’s a sure meaty heart of my lineup. Jason Kendall – I always liked him (seriously); Tim Wakefield, too.
…
uhhhh.
Who the hell is Jonathan Albaladejo?
I give up. Besides, anyone remotely good will be traded away to the Yankees or Red Sox in exchange for more prospects, who, if they are any good, will end up with the Yankees or Red Sox a few years later anyway. And the cycle starts all over again -- like welfare clans.
Why am I talking about this? Because another blogger WHOSE NAME I WILL NOT SAY EVEN IF YOU SHOVE HOT POKERS IN MY CRACK-WHORE SISTER-IN-LAW’S EAR pointed this out to me.
OMG TAXPAYER MONEY SQUANDERED. You know what, at this point I don't care. I say good for Mario. If this were one of the Marvel "Civil War" things that popped up at TSM a while back where you had to pick a side, I'd side with number 66 than any Shittsburgh public official. I've talked about this issue before and my opinion of building a new arena is a better idea than some hippie baseball stadium or field for the Stiilers. Go do a search or two and find the info yourself. I'm tired of linking up past entries.
Oh who the hell am I kidding. You all are lazy pieces of shit.
Now this part of the article is great.
She was SHOCKED. Of course this is the representative of the "Hill District." And by "Hill District" I mean "ghetto." Yeah, I bet she was SHOCKED. In fact, her reaction was probably that of an audience member of the Maury Povich show when the crowd gasps upon hearing that an upcoming guest on a show called "Out of Control Teens" does drugs and has sex. Where the hell am I going with this? No clue.
Say, this part of the article is greater.
"More competitive." Where have I heard that line before? Oh, yeah. Back in the mid-1990s when the Pirates wanted a new stadium. Why, they would move to RALEIGH if they didn't get a new stadium to be "more competitive." The Pens were horrid in the early 2000s -- they never went above 30 wins from 2001-2002 to 2005-2006, but were the Stanley Cup runner-ups last season. And they don't even have their new arena yet. The Pirates have had a new stadium since 2001. Let's see what their records have been since this cash-cow was built.
2001: 62-100
2002: 72-89
2003: 75-87
2004: 72-89
2005: 67-95
2006: 67-95
2007: 68-94
If that is "more competitive" I'd hate to see them phoning in a season.
Here's a not-as-great part of this article. Wow, Fast Eddie decided to stop by the western part of the state. Stay away you piece of shit.
Yeah, money from a slots casino that is becoming a bigger clusterfuck than I thought possible.
Read the rest of the story if you want. Long story short: this whole casino/slots stuff is a joke. But whatever, it's going to SAVE THE SHITTSBURGH REGION. Well, if it keeps most of the ghetto trash away from where I live then I say build that casino ASAP.
And I'm spent.
11:59 p.m.
• Now there was this other blogger who YOU WILL HAVE TO TWIST MY NIPPLES UNTIL THEY ARE PURPLE BEFORE I REVEAL HIS IDENTITY that did a bunch of reviews about hippie horror movies nobody has ever seen in-between his “calling out” of posters at the TSM board. “Marvin, Glenn Beck is gay, lol.” Or worse yet, commenting about “OMG Marney is sure CrAzY~!” Seriously, what is up with those one sentence posts that talk about the zany happenings over at message board part of our happy Internet community? I mean, talking about other posters on a BLOG that nobody reads is just…
is just…
…
Goddamnit.
Anyway, since the conclusion of my Top 103 Posters countdown I have been trying to think of another countdown-ish thing to do. Part of me wanted to do something regarding movie franchises while there were a few television DVD sets that have been screaming for my kkk-ommentary. However, thanks to the awesomeness that is the tune called “Dawn Raid on Fort Knox” I think I have just found the next project to distract me for a time (or at least until I get distracted again). If you can't figure it out by now, don't bother -- it will scare THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of you.
OK, I'm stopping now. No way I'm doing 20 more of these retarded puns. You might as well get the MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN to put two in my head.
19...
7 p.m.
• I said this at the other place, but it bears repeating.
This return-to-Washington-gimmick doesn't give me tingly feelings about McCain FIGHTING FOR ME, but Letterman's logic doesn't make any sense. (If "things get tough" wouldn't the "suspension" be leaving Washington and blaming everyone else for the country's woes?) And of course McCain's opponent is a guy known more for voting "present" than actually doing anything of substance. (Then again, I'd rather have Osama do nothing than try to get his agenda pushed...)
• OMG more liberal bias: RePuBliCaNz r DuM.
Son, just because you go to college doesn't mean you're smart. To further prove my point -- I'm a college grad.
• Speaking of "dumb" and "reporters," let's ask an ACTOR who played a WALL STREET MEANIE his opinion of the REAL-LIFE financial zaniness.
Makes perfect sense to me. Like Douglas would know anything about currency speculation or other fancy words that I just put next to each other. Say, what was he doing at the United Nations anyway?
:bonk: :bonk: :bonk: :bonk:
