Guest Shoes Head Report post Posted October 8, 2004 It all started when I was 12. I was in 7th grade, with Incandenza in my class. Frequently I caught myself staring at him while he wasnt looking, then when he would look up, I would look away in haste. I always wanted to sit next to him on the bus when we went on field trips, but I never really knew how to strike up a conversation. FAST FORWARD 4 YEARS..... 16 years old, contemplating suicide. I look at my grade school yearbook in a desperate attempt to make myself remember how good I have had it these last 16 years and.... then i see him. Incandenza. I start dreaming of him, but it isnt sexual, much like the time i slept in michael jacksons bed. It was usually just us having a picnic in the park with a blanket; Madonna was performing live for us fully clothed in a nun's attire. FAST FORWARD 6 MONTHS..... First wet dream. It hits me that I'm a fag for the very first time. This is extremely weird and makes me want to commit suicide again. Well, good golla Miss Molla I decide I have to die, so I go to school the next day planning to drink a gallon of antifreeze, which was mistakenly available in the soda-pop vending machine. Taking the plunge and scribbling down my suicide note at the end of gym class, I behold my dear, sweet...WONDERFUL INCANDENZA. I had no clue he still even went to my high school. I didnt think he even knew me because i had always been so scared to talk to him, and really what the hell would I say, "Which girl do you think is hot on MTV?" I CAN'T RELATE TO THAT STRAIGHT SHIT!! SO I LEFT IT ALONE. Well I start staring again and consider ripping off my clothes and jumping him, but in some cultures that's considered rude. The locker room is just us two. As I'm staring he walks up to me, ass naked and says "Howdy!" We talk for a little bit and I tell him that I'm gay and I want to committ suicide. I tell him about my infatuation with him and he hits me with a bomb. He says he is not gay, although in order to save me from myself he will have sex with me repeatedly. I go to his house the next weekend and he's tense, as am I. he starts massaging my shoulders and takes my shirt off. He then tears my pants off (I was wearing a Nation-of-Islam style tearaway suit with bowtie) and sees me in a "KISS ME" thong. I tell him its his turn to get naked so he turns on that "hold me closer" song by Elton John and he strip teases for me, until he gets down to his boxers which read "PUMP ME UP" and have a little heart over the crotch that if you put your mouth on and blow the heart gets bigger. Along the strap up top it says "MY LOVE GROWS HERE" (sexy huh?) and stuck his erect penis (at a full 2 inches) into my shit hole. It was very uncomfortable and actually made me want to kill myself again. IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE FOR ME!!??!?!?!? Then the greatest thing on earth happened! Incandenza said he feels too gay and said I should just anally violate him so that if anyone asked about his enlarged asshole at school the next week he could just say he was hit with a baseball bat and then raped while he was unconcious. I put on the ky so that he wouldnt experience the same pain I did. IT ROCKED!!!!!!!! However, I forgot to call the next day. Incandenza, I'm SORRY!! CAN'T YOU LET ANYTHING GO?!?!?!?!? YOU INSENSITIVE LITTLE HONEY GERBIL YOU!!! I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! END OF STORY EDIT: Typos, grammar. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted October 8, 2004 You put entirely WAY too much thought into that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Winter Of My Discontent Report post Posted October 8, 2004 I didn't read a single word you said, but I am still laughing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted October 8, 2004 I Love You Typos, grammar That's all I read and that's because I didn't scroll down fast enough. Care to give a recap, X? And also, did you ever reply to my last response in that one thread where we had a pseudo-minimum wage debate?... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted October 8, 2004 It's not worth recapping, and I wouldn't be able to provide one anyways since I just skimmed over it. And yes I did reply. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krankor 0 Report post Posted October 8, 2004 (I was wearing a Nation-of-Islam style tearaway suit with bowtie) I demand the 5 minutes back that I wasted on this thread. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Black Lushus 0 Report post Posted October 8, 2004 (I was wearing a Nation-of-Islam style tearaway suit with bowtie) I demand the 5 minutes back that I wasted on this thread. no, you don't get the 5 minutes back, in faact you should get slapped for wasting 5 minutes on a thread Shoe's Head started! *slaps self* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted October 8, 2004 And yes I did reply. I want to continue the discussion since you probably said some socialist hippie shit. Which thread was this in again? I can't remember... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0 Report post Posted October 8, 2004 We talk for a little bit and I tell him that I'm gay and I want to committ suicide. I tell him about my infatuation with him and he hits me with a bomb. He says he is not gay, although in order to save me from myself he will have sex with me repeatedly. Incandenza would never be that considerate...believe me Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justsoyouknow 0 Report post Posted October 8, 2004 You could have just said Inc has a small penis and you fucked him in the ass without all those unneccessary words, you know. I give your creative writing assignment an F. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Quik Report post Posted October 8, 2004 Meh. It's better than "Raise Your Voice". That's pretty much it, though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted October 9, 2004 And yes I did reply. I want to continue the discussion since you probably said some socialist hippie shit. Which thread was this in again? I can't remember... I think it's in the job thread in General Chat... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest subliminal_animal Report post Posted October 9, 2004 This was dumb, but that doesn't mean I understand why everyone hates Shoes Head. Do all you guys hate Shoes Head? Maybe I confused him with someone else. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 Well, any poster so universally hated by this message board must be liked by MrZsasz. Which could mean... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 I think it's in the job thread in General Chat... Ok, found it. Eh, nothing really worth responding to. I can continue if you want, but I think we've both said our points... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Shoes Head Report post Posted October 9, 2004 ^^ How did my thread turn into KKK and X's personal Nextel? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Black Lushus 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 SOMEONE had to negate your stupidity... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted October 9, 2004 Because you made the dumbest fucking post ever, probably. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AboveAverage484 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 ^ Who is this idiot? ^ Did he just show up one day and decide to be the SmartMarks new most hated poster? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Black Lushus 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 well it's better than usethesledgehammeruh just suddenly going from decent poster to out and out fool... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 When did that happen? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLAGIARISM! 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 I leave you guys alone for two weeks.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Black Lushus 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 stop leaving us alone dammit! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Open the Muggy Gate 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 Um...umm... what the hell? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
1234-5678 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 Because you made the dumbest fucking post ever, probably. I dare you to attempt to come up with something dumber. I doubt it is possible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vitamin X Report post Posted October 9, 2004 ^^ How did my thread turn into KKK and X's personal Nextel? Because this thread is.. ..Done. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 ^^ How did my thread turn into KKK and X's personal Nextel? Because I'm trying to make some use out of this thread. And by the way, is that Bible is True thread worth reading? I posted 6 posts into it and don't think I went back in... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 It's a discussion about the bible that doesn't involve using it as fireplace fodder or toilet paper So no Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 Can it top that one with the Legos re-enacting lines from the Bible (I doubt it, but that's the standard I'm using)? That was a good thread... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted October 9, 2004 Absolutely not Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
