Edwin MacPhisto

It's Target and Best Buy. You don't need to wear a tie. I worked at Target for a few years and they'll just put you wherever. Depending on how old you are you might get stuck pushing carts, working at the food place, living on a register, or running electronics. You will get hired, though, as long as you have some indication of being a competent human being. You don't need to suck up too much; just be confident. Target and Best Buy are good places to get started...just hope you don't end up there for too long, cause it can get pretty damn monotonous after a couple years.

Well dudes and occasional dudette, it's been grand, but I don't have the time to be involved with CC anymore. Between this semester's course load and my freelancing job, I'm pressed for time to the extreme. I don't have enough time to give your matches, cards, and so on the real attention and effort they deserve, so I'm unfortunately turning it in as an active member of WFCC. It's been a great pleasure bouncing stories around with many of you, marking a wealth of astonishingly sweet matches over the past few months, and having a hand in how everything's come together. I will, of course, still float around and make snide yet profound comments about promos, but my position as Bookerman hereby ends. However, I think you'll enjoy very much the labors of my successor...the one...the only...Z! He'll be taking over Storm shows and Lockdown cards, and I encourage you wholeheartedly to make his Fridays a festering, soul-crushing, e-wrestling cesspool. See you in hell, Zenon! I will go eat lunch now.

Oh, I picked up on it. Just didn't want to give you the satisfaction. Ahahahaha! Further thoughts: I think the more stand-alone nature this season is supposed to fall into will work pretty damn well, even if there is no epic story to push it along. The chemistry of all the major characters in their new roles, plus the surprise addition of Harm and now Spike's return...there's really enough to explore there situationally without even having to worry about the huge story arcs. I'm also kind of glad that Spike is going to be back in the mix immediately. It would have been cool to have a big, dramatic build-up for him, but we all know he's going to be on the show and we're all dying to see how the interactions play out. May as well get us in the door right away.

Yeeeah, and a little disturbing, too. I'm surprised it was such a throwaway moment; it's not really his policy to kill humans even if they are evil. Perhaps that's what they'll have to do with Wolfram and Hart to make it work, buuut...still a bit sketch. Admittedly, it was awesome. And I suppose that Hauser or whatever his name was pulled the trigger on his own - he just wasn't really expecting the barrel to end up right under his chin.

Blondie bear! Ahahahaha! Good stuff. Keeping up a lot of the excellent fight choreography and cinematography we saw last year. Holden the vampire lives on in Knox form! Harmony is hilarious, Gunn is incredibly interesting, and the new girl Eve is...well, kinda dull so far, but hot in a "I just turned 18!" way. Still wish it was Lilah, but I'll settle.

Let's start with that American Gladiators match, which I had the pleasure to mark. Truly great, truly sweet - and a great internal storyline in the winning match with tag partner mayhem, and the BEST USE OF A CARGO NET EVER IN AN SWF MATCH!!! ...Okay, that kinda goes without saying, but man, the cargo net spots are pretty incredible nonetheless. Congrats boys!

You didn't threaten to sue anyone. It's good, but it doesn't beat Blazenwing. Now, if you'd gotten a chainsaw driven through your knee, THEN we'd be talkin'.

Queens of the Stone Age, "I Think I Lost My Headache." If I ever kill someone, it will be to this song.

Holy shit! That's my boy! Now rename it the ML title and we've got something! ML PRIDE finally comes through!

Oh, look. 23,000 words to mark. After you're done killing Silent, someone please kill me too. You guys make me cry.

::drops a monster deuce on Silent:: Imma whoop yo ass, boy.

O Fortuna Fred Durst Remix! You heard it here first.

"Could you give me a ride somewhere?" Snicker. I can't tell if I want this to be Janus coming back into action...though, uh, that might mess other things up...or just a really cool PPV bonus. PPV bonus, yes. With fursuits.

::sends in his ballot as "Guy Who's Cooler Than Thugg's Ballot"::

Whoa, kudos. Talk about flashback city. In hindsight the Violator promos are a bit fruity if essential, but I'm still proud of most of what's there. The best thing to come out of all of this, though, was Strangler's comment on "Frontier Psychiatrist": Still cracks my shit up. Woo.

A lot of Big Boi's disc is similar to "The Way You Move," in that it's very rap-heavy, funky, etc. "Hey Ya!" isn't really representative of Dre's side, which is much more slow-groove or atmospheric as a rule; there are probably only 2 or 3 other numbers that keep the pace as up as that song, and he only truly raps maybe 3 or 4 verses on his whole disc. I'm still very much liking it though, if it is overlong. I don't think ?uestlove is involved at all, but all the Dungeon Family guys are there--Killer Mike, Cee-Lo, Sleepy Brown, and Big Gipp all have a few verses, and a lot of outsiders like Jay-Z, Ludacris, Norah Jones, Kelis, and Lil' Jon show up in various places.

Dace, walking painting of death. I like it. I fear for Bastion and Craven. Their collective ass is HEAVILY TROD UPON GRASS! Or, uh, lightninged grass, with the storm and all. Very cool to get a series of promos from a guy who hasn't done a ton of promos in the past. Dace is really stepping into the spotlight.

My roommate's from Hampton Roads, WC, and his family had power last night. Not sure if everyone's got it though. A lot of stuff in Richmond is just getting turned back on today so I wouldn't be surprised if patches of VA Beach were still mussed up.

Dre's my personal fave too. I love them both but Dre takes the cake for me. The comparisons have been made in tons of reviews about this album in particular, but he reminds of my mild demi-god Prince in the variety of stuff he can pull off. Here's hoping his side keeps up that impression in me.

Whoops! Sorry, Mak. All your other ones were labeled Promo and I lost this one in the shuffle. I've edited it in right at the end of the Mak/Duran match so as to avoid having to move have the show around. And now your match makes a lot more sense, too! Just whoa on the show. I read all the promos as they were coming in and got blown away again and again. I'm going to try to take some time to go over a few matches in detail too, but no guarantees yet. Until then...kick-ass show. Especially the Mark/King/Thugg angle. The guys who are going to be in the match get set up *great* on this show and are going to get a lot of the PPV, I think.

I haven't hit Dre's disc yet, but Big Boi's is in-fucking-credible. I thought Stankonia's production sounded cool, but it's got nothing on this. Yowza. This album is all over the place but still flows unspeakably well. I can't get the pianos on "Flip Flop Rock" out of my head.

....Sweet. This card makes me twitch with glee. Writing, marking...that's right, folks. Crown Prince does it all. ::cries at his weekend of thousands of words::

Outkast (but really Big Boi), "Flip Flop Rock." This album is awesome. Check that piano rhythm. Buy it when you wake up. That's an order.

Results! ...good GOD. NINETEEN PROMOS. THAT'S A LOT OF PROMOS. G4 looks *amazing,* plain and simple. Everyone should read this show top to bottom--don't skip around, or you'll miss promos. A lot of them are very short, but very excellent, and very to the point. Mix in a few very impressive matches, a couple returns to TV, and the final setup on the King/Mark/Thugg angle, and we have one hell of a show. Thanks for this one guys; I enjoyed putting it together. The Genesis card will be up sometime late tonight or in the morning. Course, most of you already know what you're doing. Sit tight, rest your fingers, and get ready for the big one.

As SWF Smarkdown continues on, a very tired Boston Strangler comes barging through the locker room door and takes a seat on a bench in front of his locker. Strangler looks up, and sees a nearly-naked Xero come walking through the locker room from the showers, causing Strangler to look away in disgust. “That’s what I miss the most about being champion around here…getting your own damn locker room” growls Strangler to himself as he contorts his head as far away from Xero as possible. Strangler roots around in his locker, looking for a bottle of water, when he comes across a small package, tightly sealed in an envelope. Strangler pulls out the tape and looks at the envelope, which has no markings on it. Strangler flips it over, revealing the word “STRANGLER” written on the side in extremely non-descript handwriting. “Hey, Strangler, your dealer stop by a little earlier today?” cracks a thankfully-clothed Xero from across the room, with a grin on his face. Strangler’s face wrinkles up in disgust as he looks over at Xero with contempt on his face. “Shove it, jobber boy. Win something, then talk” retorts Strangler, which wipes Xero’s grin from his face. Xero walks out of the room, obviously miffed with Strangler, as Strangler starts to tear at the package. “Goddamn tape…” murmurs Strangler as he momentarily struggles with the packaging before he rips it open. Strangler pulls out the contents of the package, which turns out to be……something, wrapped in a hell of a lot of taped-together bubble wrap. “Fuck it all…” grumbles Strangler as he starts pulling away at the tape, which is much less forgiving than the first round. Strangler struggles with it for a good 10 seconds, and only manages to twist the tape and bubble wrap into a huge mess. Strangler smashes his fist into the package, triggering a couple of loud popping noises, then reaches into his locker and quickly emerges with a pair of scissors from his medical kit. “Tape’s gonna die now!” exclaims Strangler in a somewhat muted tone before he quickly clips the tape, and slides the bubble wrap off. Strangler finally finishes pulling the bubble wrap off the tape, and reveals a shiny black videocassette, with no labels whatsoever on it. Strangler looks around the room and spies a television with a VCR attached. He reaches down to pick up the tape, only to find that the tape is still wrapped in a tight plastic package. “Goddamn son of a bitch!” cries Strangler before ripping the plastic off the tape in one fell swoop. Strangler tosses the plastic to the ground, then walks across the room and pops the tape into the VCR. The VCR whirs into motion, and a dark image pops onto the screen. The tape displays a room, with very little light. The only person visible in the room is a dark, shadowy figure sitting in the middle in a barely-visible chair. No noise comes from the television, and Strangler quickly checks to make sure the TV isn’t on mute. As he looks down, a voice eminates from the TV, which quickly gets Strangler’s attention. “Well, well, well. The Boston Strangler.” The voice is obviously masked, with the dull robotic tone giving no indication who the speaker is. “It’s been a long time since I saw you, Strangler. I guess the last time we were together was back when you were in the Magnificent Seven…those were the good ol’ days, huh? Although I suppose you didn’t leave on the best of circumstances…” Strangler breathes sharply, tensing up slightly at the mention of his less-than-glorious departure one year earlier. “But regardless, Strangler, you annoyed me back then. And when I took my leave of the SWF, I still had some unfinished business with you…too bad you had to go and get yourself hauled off to rehab before I could put you in a hospital bed. But guess what, Strangler? I’m on my way back. And this time, I won’t leave anything unfinished.” The shadowy figure goes silent, and suddenly the picture disappears from the television screen. Strangler remains sitting on the bench, staring at the screen as the last bits of light slowly fade from the dark black template. A solid ten or fifteen seconds pass in total silence, with Strangler’s eyes registering the only movement in the room as they look from side to side, thinking madly. Strangler finally reaches up and withdraws the video tape, and remains sitting in front of the television. Finally, he starts to stand up, but not before he’s mouthed one word, silent to the world around him, but ringing loudly in his mind: “Wilson”.