alfdogg

I was going to wait until next week to start this, but the suspense is killing me. Here's some questions for you guys, if you don't mind. 1) Who will win the MVP? 2) Who will win the ROTY? 3) Which team will be most improved in 2005-06? 4) What player(s) is most likely have a breakout season? 5) What team had the best offseason? 6) What team had the worst offseason? 7) What one move will make the biggest impact? 8) What was the most surprising move of the offseason? 9) What was the most underrated move of the offseason? 10) What was the single worst move of the offseason? 11) What team(s) will move into the playoff picture? 12) What team(s) will fall out of the playoff picture? 13) Who is the best player in the league at each position? 14) Will Isiah Thomas still be with the Knicks after this season? 15) Will Kevin Garnett still be with the Wolves after this season? 16) Will Allen Iverson still be with the Sixers after this season? 17) Division winners: 18) Eastern Conference Finals: 19) Western Conference Finals: 20) NBA Finals: 21) Make one bold prediction. Note that when I say "best/worst moves", I'm referring to players.

I won't count out the possibility that he actually has that many kids.

Take it to the Socket, kids.

Didn't he also tear both of his hamstrings in one match, or something. That's probably not right, but I know hearing of one match where he suffered multiple muscle tears.

Burger King overall has better breakfast, but their biscuits are a bit dry sometimes. I've never had this problem at McD's.

Done.

No.

No duplicates outside of The Chocolate Socket, period. We're still deciding how we should deal out punishments, should this be violated. EDIT: This includes already existing ones, as well.

I've got the next three picks in the topic subtitle.

Yes.

Just kidding. It was, in fact, subliminal_animal.

DerangedHermit

All the same person.

oh. I didn't pin it.

what

But Kingofthe909 is.

FBTG wasn't Gheyme.

*insert graphic* The crowd goes CRAZY as the lights go out and the Chamber lowers from the ceiling, showered by strobes. (The lights in the arena remain out through all the entrances, with only a light illuminating the ring and the entryway, unless otherwise noted.) COLE And it's time for the second incarnation of the Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell! Six men step into this demonic structure, completely encrusted with barbed wire, one man will walk out the OAOAST Heartland champion! *Cut to the back, where Brock Ausstin is shown emerging from his locker room.* COACH And here comes the champ! COLE Let's not wait any longer, let's go to Michael Buffer! *DING DING DING* BUFFER [i]LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen, it is now time for the Invitational Chamber of Hell match, for the OAOAST Heartland championship! Allow me to explain the rules. The six participants received their order of entry by way of random drawing, and in just a few short moments, I will introduce the four participants who will start the match inside the 8x5 steel cells. The cells will then be risen into the air until they reach the top of this chamber, whose roof stands 24 feet from the floor! Afterwards, I will introduce the two competitors who will start the match inside the ring. These two men will do battle for five minutes, at which point one of these cells will be lowered from the ceiling of the Chamber, and another man will enter the battle. This pattern will continue until all six men have entered the battle. Eliminations may only take place via pinfall or submission, and the one man remaining at the end of the match will be the NEW OAOAST Heartland champion! ARE YOU READY?[/i] *crowd cheers* BUFFER [i]San Antonio, Texas...ARRRRRRRRRRRRE YYYYYYOU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADYYYYYYYYYYY?????[/i] *crowd cheers louder* BUFFER [i]Then for the thousands in attendance here at the Alamo, and the millions and MILLIONS watching around the world...there's only one thing left to say. Ladies and gentlemen...LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRRRUMMMMMMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!![/i] The arena goes black, and [i]Debonaire[/i] by Dope hits and boos fill the arena as Gunner Sharps makes his way down the aisle. He is wearing blue jeans and pushing a shopping cart filled with various weaponry. COLE And here comes the man who will enter the frey after everyone, due to having the best Beat-the-Clock time! BUFFER [i]Introducing the first participant...hailing from Detroit, Michigan, and weighing in at 375 pounds...GUNNERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHARPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!![/i] COACH The biggest man in the match, and the last entrant in the match! That's got to give him a big edge! The official opens the door for Gunner, who walks in and steps into his cell, taking his cart with him. COLE And obviously Gunner doesn't like to share! Gunner's cell raises to the top of the cage, and [i]Renagade[/i] hits as the arena goes black again and the boos escalate. When the baseline kicks in, the entryway and ring lights come back on, and Reject makes his way out. He's attired in light blue jeans and ripped, sleeveless Yankee pinstripes. pushing a plastic garbage tote filled with weapons. COLE But I don't think Reject's going to have a choice! COACH Yeah, I don't know if that one'll fit in one of those cells! BUFFER [i]From The Bronx, weighing in at 235 pounds...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!![/i] Reject pushes the tote into the Chamber, then digs out a stapler gun and a barbed wire bat, and takes them into a cell, which then raises up in the air. COACH A little's better than none, though! The arena goes black once again. [i]Magnum Opus[/i] hits, and the boos hit their peak as Alfdogg walks through the curtains, in his normal ring attire, with a red sleeveless flannel. He has nunchucks hanging from each side of his pants, and is dragging a big camouflage bag behind him in his right hand, and what appears to be a case for a musical instrument in his left. He also is wearing a Dirk Nowitzki jersey underneath the flannel, which obviously doesn't sit well with the majority of the fans. COLE And Alf certainly not endearing himself to the fans in San Antonio! BUFFER [i]Weighing in at 240 pounds...he is a former TWO-TIME Heavyweight champion of the WORLD...ALFDOGG!!!!![/i] COACH What could be in those things, Cole? COLE Who knows with Alf...but I somehow doubt he's going to be practicing the tenor sax in his cell while he waits! Alf stops to take off his flannel, then removes the Nowitzki jersey and throws it out into the crowd. He then puts the flannel back on and goes into his cell with his equipment, and it raises to the ceiling. The crowd then goes NUTS as a cold, dark voice begins to speak the ungodly hymn over the loud speakers, as smoke begins to cover the entrance way. "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." [i]Punishment[/i] by BIOHAZARD hits, and Brock Ausstin makes his way out, in his normal ring attire. BUFFER [i]And from Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in at 305 pounds...he is the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST Heartland champion...BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!![/i] COLE And listen to the eruption from the fans in San Antonio! COACH So, now we know that it'll be Thunderkid and Colombian Heat starting us off! Brock, who came down unarmed, hands his belt to the referee, then goes into his cell, which is directly across from Alf's, and the two trash-talk one another from across the way as the cell is raised. COLE Brock came unequipped, but of course the wrestlers do have access to the items underneath the ring, and who knows what you'll find under there! BUFFER [i]And now, ladies and gentlemen, let's introduce the two participants who will start the match in the ring! [i]Gasolina[/i] by Daddy Yankee hits, and fire explodes around the entryway as Colombian Heat makes his way to the ring to a nice pop, pulling behind a cactus in a wagon. He is attired normally, except he has on black cargo pants instead of his usual basketball shorts. BUFFER [i]Hailing from Miami, Florida, weighing in at 180 pounds...COOOOOOOOOOLOMBIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!![/i] COLE And perhaps the most impressive run of the six combatants in recent weeks was made by this man, Colombian Heat! Remember a few weeks ago in that big ten-man elimination match, he was able to score a pinfall on Alf, then last night, when we were live in El Paso, Heat scored a pinfall on Reject in a tag team match! I think this is really anybody's match to win! COACH Interesting choice of a weapon by Heat, I'll say that much for him! Heat rolls into the ring and poses on the second rope, as the crowd cheers. [i]God of Thunder[/i] hits, and the crowd pops big time as yellow smoke fills the entryway, and yellow strobes hit Thunderkid as he makes his way through the smoke and to the ring. BUFFER [i]And from Green Bay, Wisconsin, weighing in at 250 pounds...THUNDERKID!!!!![/i] COLE And another guy who's been on fire since his big win over PRL at AngleSlam! TK is wearing a torn black T-shirt with black jeans. He has his fists taped, and is equipped with a kendo stick, as well as a chest protector which has thumbtacks sticking out in the front! COLE And of course, TK made good use of that one in the first Chamber match, which Alf and Reject were also a part of! TK enters the chamber, then slides into the ring and takes in the cheers of the fans as he stands on the buckles. An overhead shot of the Chamber is shown. COLE What a view, eh? COACH What, are you going Canadian on us now, too? TK and Heat stand across the ring from one another as the referee raises the belt in the air. He then takes it to the timekeeper and tells him to ring the bell. *DING DING DING* COACH This is it! COLE The most vicious match in the history of the OAOAST, back in its second incarnation! TK and Heat circle the ring, and tie up. Both jockey for position, before Heat takes TK to the mat with an armdrag! COLE Nice move by Heat, TK looks a little surprised! TK gets up and circles the ring once again, then the two tie up once again. After a brief struggle, TK tosses Heat right across the ring into a corner! Heat looks at TK for a second, then pops up and charges. TK sidesteps Heat, and sweeps his leg out from under him! Heat charges again, and TK picks him up in a PRESS SLAM~! COLE And TK showing off that power early! TK holds Heat for a few seconds, then slams him HARD down to the mat! Heat holds his back, then TK measures him and clotheslines him over the top to the floor! COACH And we're out on the floor already here! TK follows Heat to the outside, then reaches into the tote which Reject brought out, and pulls out a STOP sign. TK measures Heat, and SLAMS the sign right over his head! COACH Ooooh! COLE And that STOP sign with a THUD right over the head of Colombian Heat! TK then takes the sign and gets a running start, then puts it under his legs as he jumps in the air, and lands on Heat! TK tosses the sign down, then picks up Heat, and whips him into the side of the Chamber! COLE And Heat back-first into the barbed-wire and cage! TK approaches Heat slowly, but when he gets to him, Heat grabs his legs and trips him to the ground. COLE Oh, a slingshot, perhaps? Heat scoots away from the Chamber so he doesn't fall back on it, then delivers a SLINGSHOT, sending TK into the wall! COACH Yes! COLE TK goes with the momentum into the Chamber Wall! Heat then delivers a SUPERKICK to TK! COLE And already we've got blood, coming from the head of TK! Heat picks up TK and tosses him back into the ring, then grabs a chair from underneath the ring. He slides in and lays it across the face of TK, then backs up, and comes in with a quick legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE First cover of the match gets two, as Colombian Heat looking excellent in the early going, just over two minutes gone by! Heat picks up TK, and delivers a vertical suplex! Heat then points to the top rope, as the crowd cheers him on. COACH Heat's going up! Heat climbs up top, as TK reaches for the chair. Heat gets his balance, then leaps off, as TK lifts the chair, and Heat flies right into it! COLE And TK blocking the move with the steel chair! TK gathers his senses, then slides to the outside and grabs the cactus that Heat brought down. COACH He's going to use Heat's own weapon against him! Heat attempts a baseball slide, which TK sidesteps, then delivers a savate kick! TK rolls Heat back into the ring, then follows him. TK delivers a FALCON ARROW~! 1... 2... Kickout! TK slides out and pushes the cactus into the ring, then sets it up in the corner. TK picks Heat up, and whips him into the cactus! COLE And this time Heat into the cactus back-first! TK grabs the steel chair, then charges Heat and dropkicks it into him, smashing him into the cactus once again! COACH Oh, double whammy that time! TK scoops up Heat, and delivers a fallaway slam! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! TK drags Heat over to the cactus, and rakes his face on it! COLE And TK VICIOUS in his attack! COACH And we've got another one bleeding after that! COLE He got Heat good on that one! So, about four minutes into this thing, and already we've got two guys cut! COACH We're gonna add a third guy to the frey in about a minute, Cole! I can't wait to see who it is! TK tries to pick Heat up again, but receives a LOW BLOW~! for his trouble! Heat then pulls the chair over, and delivers a DDT! COLE And a DDT on the chair! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Heat picks up TK, and executes a RUNNING POWERBOMB~! COLE There's the Drive-By, as Heat looks to be setting him up here! 1... 2... Shoulder up! Heat whips TK HARD into the corner, and catches him with a HURRICANRANA on the way back! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up again! COLE And Heat really going for it here! Heat attempts an Irish whip, but TK blocks, then pulls him in for a clothesline! Both men are out of it, as the countdown begins... COACH Here we go, Cole! 10!!! 9!!! 8!!! 7!!! 6!!! 5!!! 4!!! 3!!! 2!!! 1!!! BUZZ~!!!

Yes. Also, no ramps for this show. The Chamber goes all the way down to the floor.

[i]Master Blaster (Jammin')[/i] hits, and the Jamaicans make their way down the aisle, to a nice pop. COLE And Team Jamaica set to make their official debut in the OAOAST! BUFFER [i]The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way down the aisle, hailing from Montego Bay, Jamaica, at a combined weight of 479 pounds...introducing REGGIE LAMONT and DENZEL SPENCER, TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMM JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMAICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!![/i] The Jamaicans climb into the ring and pose on the buckles, getting cheers from the fans. COLE For those unfamiliar with Team Jamaica, they were the Cinderella story of the Tag Team World Cup, making it all the way to the Final Four at AngleSlam, where they were defeated by the Canadians, but they impressed enough to be offered an OAOAST contract, and as a result, here they are on HeldDOWN~! BUFFER [i]Their opponents, at a combined weight of 459 pounds...from Kansas City, Missouri, Dennis Pierce![/i] *jobber reaction* BUFFER [i]And from Omaha, Nebraska, Chuck Clark![/i] *jobber reaction* *DING DING DING* Denzel starts out with Chuck, and takes him down with a drop toe hold. He then goes to a side headlock, as Chuck tries to get to his feet. He does, and shoves Denzel into the ropes. Denzel ducks a clothesline, and delivers a dropkick! COLE Great elevation on the dropkick by Denzel Spencer! Denzel follows up with a axe kick, sending Chuck down and back into his corner! Chuck tags in Dennis, and Denzel obliges and tags in Reggie. COLE Switch on both sides, as Reggie Lamont in there now, as well! Dennis goes for a running shoulderblock on Reggie, but can't move him. He then goes to the ropes again. Reggie leapfrogs him, then catches him with a high knee! He follows up by underhooking Dennis, and delivering a TIGER BOMB~! COACH BIG move from Reggie! Reggie picks Dennis up in a bearhug, then moves him up so he's laying with his midsection across Reggie's shoulder. He then tags in Denzel, who backs into the ropes, jumps up, and completes the SINSEMILLA~! COLE Great double team move by the Jamaicans! Denzel scoops up Dennis, and executes an airplane spin! After four revolutions, He drops Dennis to his back, then tags Reggie back in before dropkicking Chuck off the apron! He follows with a TWISTING PLANCHA~! COACH WHOA! COLE Outstanding move! Reggie has Dennis on his shoulders, as Denzel climbs the top rope...and they execute the JAMAICAN BOBSLED~!!! COLE Put this one in the books, folks! 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* BUFFER [i]Here are your winners...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMM JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMAICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!![/i] COLE Very impressive debut for the Jamaicans, as they look like they're more than ready for World Without End! Let's go to Josh!

I put the draft order in the first post. The up-to-date rosters are right underneath.