Mr. S£im Citrus

Does that mean he's quitting the fed?

Oh yeah, lest I forget... :: kneels before Lord Zed ::

Somebody made Ejiro a mod? Of the WWE Folder?

To the best of my knowledge, Crow never formally retired; hence, he's still being used...

Does this mean a return to the announce table?

SWF Sunday Night Frost and HOLT report February 1, 2004 Cleveland, Ohio at Gund Arena Report by Michael Respert of Detroit, Michigan Smartmarks.com reader I won these tickets in the giveaway promotion that the fed was doing a few months back; this is my first ever PPV match; I am so freakin’ pumped! I had floor seats right up front, and I even got to do a little interview for SWF Magazine about my experience! Frost: - Jamie “Jay Dawg” Drazon beat Silent in 4:15 on a fluke pin, courtesy of a handful of tights. - There was a video package featuring Michael Craven, and the events of the last few months between Craven and Mark Stevens. Following the video, Bobby Riley conducted an interview with Michael Craven. Riley asked him about being the number one entrant, and Craven claimed that he was the victim of politics. He went on to say that the reason that Stevens hated him so much was because Craven reminded him too much of himself, and he said that he would win the Clusterfuck in order to force Stevens to face reality. - Crow and Dante Crane beat Déjà Vu in 8:36, after hitting Total Elimination on Kross. - Another sweet video package that contrasted Tom Flesher’s technical expertise with Wildchild’s aerial artistry. Then, Ben Hardy did an interview with Wildchild, who talked about how his quest to become the best cruiserweight wrestler has been the driving force behind his entire career. Ben Hardy commented on Wildchild’s history in ladder matches, specifically referencing a European Title match in the JL against Ejiro and Tim Dillon, where he elected to try a high-risk move off the ladder, despite having an uncontested shot at the title. Wildchild laughed and said that he couldn’t promise that he would pass up an opportunity to show the crowd something special, but he did say that establishing himself as the best cruiserweight was very important to him, and that he was going to give Flesher his best tonight. - Judge Mental and Fugue beat Bemani Cross Wizards in 11:08, when Fugue put Ced in Harmony. Afterwards, the two former Magnificent 7 teammates got into an intense bickering match. Fugue was all set to leave Hearford in the ring, but Judge spun him around and hit him with the Surprise Witness. - Another video package, showing a very abbreviated history of the SJL, culminating with the JL’s parting shot of Landon Maddix winning the JL Heavyweight Championship. Kevin Cole interviewed Landon Maddix, who said that he was going to make the rest of the boys stand up and take notice of the JL’s final graduating class, starting with tonight, when he beats Sacred in the Unification Match. - Renegade beat Xcalibur in 6:41 with the Renebreak. - The final video package encapsulated the ongoing rivalry between Va’aiga and Danny Williams, ending on Va’aiga’s challenge to a ‘Kings Road’ Match. Cyclone Comet conducted a heartfelt interview with Danny Williams, who spoke about the history of Japanese Puroresu. He went on to list the names of the legendary Japanese stars that have influenced his wrestling career, and spoke of the significance of the ‘Kings Road.’ He made it clear that he had no intentions of losing the Championship tonight, and said that he still had a few tricks that he hadn’t taught Va’aiga yet. - CIA won a “first fall wins” Four Corners match with Ann Onita, Michael “Spike” Spaster, and Xstasy, when he hit Xstasy with Air Canada. - A final video package aired, glossing over the card, as Frost went to fade. Clusterfuck: - I’d never really been a fan of Wildchild before this ladder match; I’ve always been more for the technical types, and wanted Taamo to win, but the kid made a believer out of me. Wildchild left the ring through the crowd; it was amazing to see how well he connected with the fans. - Spike Jenkins got a bigger pop than I ever thought he would in a WF ring for going after Craven from jumpstreet; I don’t know whether that’s a bigger indictment of Craven or a compliment to Jenkins. - While the action was going on, a couple of EMT’s ran down to the ring to scrape Jake Helmsley up; he had to be taken back on a stretcher. - Craven was inconsolable; Soapdish asked him to leave the ring so that they could set up for the Main Event, and he hit him with the Gulf Coast Crunch! He then got out of the ring, threw Funyon and the timekeeper over the barricade, and trashed the ringside area, demolishing that poor Japanese announce table! Finally, Grand Slam sent about a dozen armed police officers down to ringside to forcibly escort Craven out of the building. - This probably happened off the air, but just seconds after hugging Danny, Va’aiga turned on him by waffling him with the belt! He kept screaming “TOLD YOU,” and “WHAT’S MY NAME” at Danny over and over, before he and Duran finally went backstage. Danny got up shortly afterwards, clearly disappointed by the outcome of the match, and was treated to a standing ovation all the way back to the back. Biggest Pops 1) Danny Williams 2) Wildchild 3) Tom Flesher 4) Insane Luchador 5) Dace Night Most Heat 1) Va’aiga 2) Michael Craven 3) Charlie Matthews 4) Todd Royal 5) The Memphis Eel

So, where do you get the avatars?

How'd you do that?

.... And I thought I was in a bad mood after I lost the Hardcore title...

I'm really not that good with analysis and stuff, so this will be short, but: Wildchild vs. Tom Flesher, Ladder Match I don't really have a whole lot to say about it... I didn't realize at the time that I was writing it that I used the word "gingerly" so much; I usually catch stuff like that in the edit, but I was waaaay too tired to even pay attention. Anyway, I hope that it was well received; the first person to guess what my favorite spot was gets put over on Frost. Andrew Blackwell vs. Landon Maddix, Unification Match Did I read that correctly? Did Comet actually comment on the narrative? Anyway, I liked the match; good job of putting over the significance of the match, and making Roach out to be a threat to Sacred. The heel/heel dynamic has to be difficult to write, but it came across fairly well. Danny Williams vs. Va'aiga, World Heavyweight Championship Match As a former Boy Scout, let me just say that I totally marked when I read that! I'm sure that the whole no-selling thing near the end of the match is an allusion to some great Puro match, but me being the Puro virgin that I be, I didn't get it. The match was very well done, though; I'm a little concerned about what could possibly be interpreted as hot-shotting with the World Title, but I suppose you'll have to cross that bridge when you get to it. I'm sure someone will be able to provide better analysis than that, but I just wanted to get that out; let you guys know that someone actually read your matches, and whatnot... - Dub Cee

:: Imagines Muzz's head being made out of brick :: I. Don't. Drink. Either. I haven't had a drink since I was twenty-six. I was extending an invitation, so that you wouldn't have to not-drink alone.

You don't have to drink alone, Muzz; like I said, I used to drink... Unless, of course, that's just your thing...

A few, he says... that was two months pay...

My first legit singles win on PPV... Oh. My. GOD! And, in other news, Va'aiga just flushed Ejiro's bid for Rookie of the Year down the toilet...

Now you're talking; back before I quit drinking, Vodka was my drink.

... So, what's it like to be unemployed?

:: shrug :: I stand by my last comment...

Eh, just ignore 'em, Thugg; I do. For example, while I ask people for ideas for the HOLT reports I do, I never actually ask people for permission to put them in it. Eff 'em if they can't take a joke... - Dub Cee

:: stage-whispers to Johnny :: It will not, in fact, be on at Storm; I need to spend this week working on my transfer package, and have asked for the show off. But, as far as Lockdown goes, sure...

Just out of curiosity, would it be cheating to ask who CC is writing as, or are you guys just fucking with us?

Sent; such as it was...

That's the thing about the C'Fuck; it's a wonderful match, in theory... until you actually have to sit down and try to write it.

.... Thanks...

As a matter of fact, let me break down my PPV history for you, so that you can see just how bad I suck: ================== 1. SJL Malice in Wonderland: vs. Ejiro Fasaki, SJL Heavyweight Championship Match result: win Writing result: co-write 2. SWF Clusterfuck '03: Clusterfuck match Match result: loss Writing result: no-show 3. SWF From the Fire '03: vs. Jamie Drazon, Cage Match Match result: win Writing result: loss 4. SWF Battleground '03: w/Johnny Dangerous vs. Justice and Rule vs. Déjà Vu, SWF Tag Team Championship, TLC match Match result: draw Writing result: loss 5. SWF 13th Hour '03: vs. Danny Williams, SWF Intercontinental-Television Championship Match result: loss Writing result: loss 6. SWF Ground Zero '03: vs. Ejiro Fasaki, SWF United States Championship, Cage Match Match result: loss Writing result: no-show, with pre-arranged agreement to job for storyline purposes 7. SWF Genesis IV: vs. Johnny Dangerous, SWF Hardcore Gamers Championship Match result: win Writing result: co-write 8. SWF Ashes 2 Ashes '03: w/ Johnny Dangerous, Tom Flesher & The Boston Strangler vs. Michael Craven, Erek Taylor, Ejiro Fasaki and William Hearford Match result: win Writing result: win 9. SWF The Fight Before Christmas '03: vs. Michael Craven vs. Crow vs. Xstasy vs. Linchpin, Away In A Manger Match Match result: loss Writing result: no-show ============ Final PPV statistics to date: Match record: 4-4-1 Writing record: 1-6 (no-shows counted as losses, co-writes not counted) Who sucks more than me? Nobody, I'll bet...

Yeah, right. I'm one of the few people here who do better with shorter matches; the longer the word limit is, the worse I get, as evidenced by my 1-3 record on PPV in the matches that I actually wrote in competition with other people. In fact, my only legit PPV win was that 8-man tag at A2A. Yeah, I wrote 11K, but I can practically guarantee you that at least half of that is Grade-A hot gäbbage.