Mr. S£im Citrus

I appreciate that, Thugg; I have so much shit to do in the next 18 days it defies description...

WHOO! Tech wins on a GW from Jarret Jack! Bring on Duke! GO JACKETS!

Garnett must have stopped minding his P's Q's...

Bah; if I can't get deadlines posted in Hawaiian Standard, then screw you limeys...

I'm certainly going, Annie; I transfer in 29 days. The only question is whether or not I come back...

You just wish that there were matches so that you could predict me to lose and be wrong again.

Indeed; that crowd would have to be heavily papered.

Add me to the list of people around here older than you...

I more or less echo Zed's sentiments, aside from the "greatest tag team ever" part; I take exception to that. As for me, personally, you know how I feel about the Ejiro character; bloody hell, you single-handedly made WC famous. It's extremely hard for me in particular to think about all of the history our two characters have together, and then try to think of you as somebody else. I also agree with Zed's concern about you being able to be as spectacular with Coy as you were with Ejiro; this isn't due to your failure as a writer on any level, but because I don't see Coy having the same depth and intensity of emotions. Do you remember this promo? It's probably one of my favorite of all time, ever. No disrespect, but does Coy even have the capacity for that kind of emotion in him?

I'm considering making this a PPV-only thing, just so that I can keep the concept fresh; besides which, I'm much more likely to be able to contribute something every six weeks once I get to my next command than I am to be able to contribute something every five days.

The "By Popular Demand" edition! ================ SWF Sunday Night Frost and From the Fire HOLT report March 7, 2004 Los Angeles, California at Staples Center Report by Al Dougherty of San Diego, CA Smartmarks.com reader Frost: - Renegade beat Adian Redmond in 5:18 with the Renebreak. - The opening video package highlighted the Tag Team Championship match, beginning with the House of Todd’s beatdown of Wildchild following his Cruiserweight Title defense against Landon Maddix, and leading up until Todd and Wildchild’s match on Lockdown. Afterwards, Ben Hardy conducted an interview with Wild and Dangerous; Wildchild did most of the talking (in broken English, of course), and seemed really pissed about some of the false prophecy that Todd’s been spitting in the back, claiming that he predicted that Wildchild would lose the Cruiserweight belt to Alan Clark. He promised to do something to Royal tonight that would cause Todd to always remember him. - Ced Ordonez beat Mike Van Siclen in 7:04 by making him submit to Cross Lightning. - The second video package centered on the feud between Terrence Bailey and John Duran, showing how these two had been at each other’s throats ever since before Clusterfuck. Kevin Cole interviewed Terrence Bailey, if you want to call it that. It was pretty short; Bailey said that he’d had enough of Duran’s BS, and that when he got him in the cage tonight, he was going to cut loose and let it all out. When Cole asked him if that meant that we would see Janus tonight, Bailey just stared at him and left without saying a word. - Ann Onita came down to the ring, and she was looking PISSED! She talked about how much she had looked forward to returning to Staples Center and putting on a show for the fans in Los Angeles, which got a big pop. She said that she’d been working hard for two weeks to prepare for her Stairway to Hell match with Jay Dawg, but that the son of a bitch was too chickenshit (her words) to even cross the border and come down and face her. She told the fans that she came to LA to fight, though, and laid an open challenge to any SWF Superstar in the building, past or present, who had the balls to get in the ring and fight her… So imagine her surprise, and the surprise of everyone else in the building, when “The Grudge” began to play, and MERCURY ( ) came down the ramp! He totally took her by surprise and nearly overwhelmed her, but I think that the ring rust started to show late, and Annie countered the Spellbound to make him tap out to Triple C in 10:22. I went online after I got back home to see if there was anything about Mercury coming back, but I guess it was just a one-shot deal; apparently, he contacted Suicide King when he found out that FTF was going to be in LA and told him he’d like to be involved, so King called in a favor and got him put on the show. - After the show came back from commercial, they did a third video package, this one showing all the drama between Alan Clark and HVT. Cole interviewed Thugg, who kept it simple, saying that he was going to teach Clark the meaning of the word respect, and that tonight, in front of millions of people that he was going to… (wait for it) Wreck His Shit! - Xstasy beat Judge Mental in 4:55 with a Soargasm. - The final video package encapsulated the rivalry between Va’aiga and Charlie Matthews. Cyclone Comet interviewed Charlie Matthews, who started out by thanking James Matheson. Comet looked confused, until Matthews explained that if Matheson hadn’t fired him from the Unnamed, then he might never have seen Va’aiga and the rest of the Unnamed for the whiny bitches they are, and that he wouldn’t have had the clarity of purpose to come into Los Angeles tonight, and walk out with the World Heavyweight Championship! - Tom Flesher beat Michael Craven in 16:31, when Tom stopped him from hitting Kingdom Come, and countered into the Boilermaker. - A final video package aired, glossing over the card, as Frost went to fade. From the Fire: - Jessica Simpson sang the National Anthem. I don’t know how good a job she actually did singing… but fuck, does she have a rack! - The rest of the crowd wasn’t sure how to react to Matthews at first, as he seemed to be reverting back to his old self, but as the pace picked up, both men were getting cheered regularly...You’d think that IL spent all week watching old tapes of Xero, with all the DDT’s he was throwing around. After the match, Matthews looked a little disappointed with himself; I think that he genuinely expected to leave with both belts. But he gave IL his props, and left him in the ring alone to celebrate as he went backstage, presumably to focus on his World Title match. - Oh my God, I hate Todd’s Angels SOOO much! If the beers didn’t cost so much money, I’d have thrown mine at them… I’d just like to say that Wild and Dangerous may be the most innovative tag team I’ve ever seen, at least in terms of double-team maneuvers; I mean, they were all over the place, and that superplex senton was sick… But Holy Shit, did you see that finisher! They fucking killed Todd dead! He had to be taken out on a stretcher! - I’ll say this for Coy West; the guy can take a beating! Sacred can probably thank Dace for ripping Coy’s face open; When West started to take over late, all of the blood loss caught up with him, and gave Sacred an opening to come away with the win, but Coy surprised damn near everyone by coming back strong and scoring the upset! Even though the Slingshot is the gheyest finisher this side of the sleeper hold, the crowd was digging Coy, and was excited when he won. - Duran got CRAZY heat for coming out with Grand Slam’s bat! As for the match itself, it was fucking brutal! Two fucking Wildebeests throwing bombs at each other for fifteen minutes; it was like a battle scene out of Braveheart or something! We were all shell-shocked when Duran kicked out of that Rage Unleashed; I was SURE that was it! I couldn’t BELIEVE that Duran escaped with the win, but he damn sure didn’t stick around to celebrate; he hauled ass to the back almost as soon as the ref counted three, and Janus was right on his heels giving chase, or whatever you would call it at that speed. - While the ring crew was tearing down the cage, Funyon directed everyone’s attention to a luxury box where TNT was watching the PPV with a few friends. We gave him a nice little standing ovation. - I’m telling you, this Toxxic kid is going to be something special! Aecas put an absolutely whipping on the kid, and he took ever lick, and asked for some more! This match was bloody as hell; in fact, a couple of guys in the front row wore raincoats throughout the whole match, like they were at a Gallagher concert or some shit! I don’t know if it was ever verified that they actually used 200 tubes, but I know those two crazy bastards are going to be picking shards out of their asses for a week; it took FOREVER to clear all that shit out of the ring! - I’d nearly forgotten how tough Thugg was, but I had NO IDEA how much punishment Clark could take! HVT beat him like a left-handed, redheaded stepchild, and looked to have the match well in hand… until Clark got a hold of that pipe… I was totally marking out when he managed to put Thugg through that glass door! After Thugg came back, though, and trapped Clark inside of that bus, I was sure that he’d close it out, but he never saw that sledgehammer coming! When he jumped off the bus to hit that cannonball, I was all like, “HOLY SHIT!” - The fucking roof BLEW off when “Jester’s Dance” kicked off. Danny and Dace then put on one of the finest technical performances I’ve ever seen live. I’m not really a fan of that style, but let me tell you, when Danny Williams is in the ring, you know you’re watching greatness. I’d almost forgotten that Dace could even wrestle a technical match, but he was sensational tonight! It was amazing to see all of the interplay between the two men; they knew each other so well, that they just kept countering each other for what seemed like forever! I thought that when Dace couldn’t hold on to the bridge for that German, that he was done, and when Danny kicked out after that Tiger Driver to the outside, I nearly shat myself! That sleeper suplex was choice! When Dace finally won, you could practically see the torch getting passed… One thing that got my attention for some reason was seeing Soapdish call the match. He’s officiated practically every big match of Danny’s career, so if he’s really done, it seemed somehow fitting for him to call this one, too. TNT came down from his luxury box to pay his respects to Danny after the match, and I was glad to see two long-time rivals able to show respect for each other. Maybe they’ll go into the Hall together… - The match started out fairly slow and, considering that Grappler already had a match earlier that night, it was probably to be expected. Things started to pick up in a hurry after Va’aiga hit that lariat. When Va’aiga didn’t stay down after that SECOND Wake Up Call, I didn’t think that Grappler had a chance in hell… and that top rope armdrag? Who the hell does he think he is, Wildchild? It was so, SOOO sweet to hear the big, bad Maori tap! The whole building went apeshit over that! Dace, Aecas, Wild and Dangerous, Coy and IL all came down to the ring to help Matthews celebrate. Biggest Pops 1) Charlie Matthews 2) Danny Williams 3) Alan Clark 4) Wild and Dangerous 5) Dace Night Most Heat 1) Va’aiga 2) John Duran 3) HVT 4) The House of Todd 5) Mercury

Are you drunk, or are you just having problems spelling tonight?

Ever since I discovered the SWF over a year ago, I spend nearly all my time on this board down there but, since I didn't see that as a option, I went with La Parka. Is there anybody on this board besides Marney that doesn't like wrestling at all?

Happy 18th to Dace F'n Night!

The SWF (us e-fed guys at the bottom of the board) just completed our From the Fire Pay Per View. If you have some time to kill, and don't mind reading short stories about wrestling, give it a once-over, why don't you? SEE! Charlie "The Grappler" Matthews challenge the Maori Menace Va'aiga for the World Heavyweight Championship! SEE! SWF Legend the HVille Thugg take on the SWF Cruiserweight Champion Alan Clark in a Street Fight! SEE! SWF Legend and USJL Champion Andrew "Sacred" Blackwell defend his title against fast-rising newcomer "Coyote" Coy West! SEE! Future SWF Hall of Famer "Deathwish" Danny Williams pass the torch to his protégé, "The High Priest of Horrorcore" Dace Night, in his final match in the SWF! SEE! Charlie Matthews pull double-duty as he opens up the show by defending his ICTV Championship against the Insane Luchador! SEE! The Aussie Giant Terrence "Janus" Bailey and "Notorious" John Duran try to destroy each other from within the confines of a Steel Cage! SEE! Rookie Sensation Toxxic stun the world with a thrilling upset of "The Black Angel" Aecas for the Hardcore Championship! And last, but hopefully not least... SEE! Me and my tag team partner Johnny Dangerous defend our Tag Team Championship against the House of Todd, in what may very well be my final match on Pay Per View! Seriously, it was a pretty good show; you should check it out, if you have the time...

I'm glad you liked it; since I didn't know if I'd ever get to have another Tag Team match on PPV (or even another PPV match at all), I wanted W&D to do a spot that we'd never done before; It's a move that strikes me as being physically possible, and I wonder why I've never seen it done before. And yes, Todd should probably be declared legally dead... but, in true Messianic fashion, he shall likely rise in four days time... EDIT - I dubbed Dace "Horrorcore," and I have now dubbed Todd "the Messiah." I'm on a roll...

.... You wouldn't have won, anyway...

*SNORT* You're just lucky I'm leaving, punk...

Technically, my "most days with title" record for the Hardcore Title should be 143 days, counting both my reigns.

ACC only. GT, muh-fucka!

Damn, damn, damn... And Indiana clinched a playoff berth when they beat Utah last night.

:: shrug :: Hikki remixes > Ayumi remixes, but that's just me. Plus, I don't actually speak Japanese, so I'm partial to Hikki simply because I think that she's a much better singer; her voice, to me, is superior to Ayumi.

I like Ayumi; I think that Hikki's better, though.

Entirely possible, I suppose; it's just that I've been hearing people around here bash Johnny for over a year now, and it's way past being lame. One of the reasons I quit going to chat is beacuse I got sick of listening to people trash Johnny behind his back, so I guess I'm not inclined to give anything that could come off as a "diss" the benefit of the doubt.

What in the hell is that suppose to mean? That a tag match should feature both team members? And that WC's had a lot on his plate recently and might not be able to make it if something goes wrong? I think that what Johnny's trying to say is that quote seems to suggest that he can't win unless I carry him... which, quite frankly, offends me, too; I have a damned good tag team partner, thank you very much.