Hank Kingsley

My personal low-point was forming the CWO or Cole World Order with DJ Jeff and The Ruthless Aggressor. Pretending to like a subpar wrestling announcer and associating myself with DJ Jeff. Egads.

What the fluorescent fuck is LAX?

There's only one person you need to ask: =) Man, I haven't done that in a while. It felt good.

Circuit City has "save $5 on the purchase of both vol. 1 and vol. 2" which comes out to about $30, so I guess that's the closest.

All of the store ads today have this DVD listed at $15.99. However, Best Buy has a deal where you can get Vol. 2 and the Jackie Brown collector's edition for $25, which is a hell of a deal. If there isn't a Best Buy near you, Circuit City has the same price for Vol. 2, and Jackie Brown for $9.99, so it's almost the same.

Yeah, because a wacky face/heel tag team wants respect despite never teaming before!

They actually filmed the alternate pie-fight ending, didn't they? I wish they had included that on the DVD, because that would've been awesome to see. In case you haven't heart about it, Here it is from imdb.com

...uh, okay, that's a weird team.

You're worse, because you're also riding my coattails to tag team gold & glory in the WF~ (emoticon)

You bastard, I was just going to do that. Although I'd use the same ratings, anyway (except I'd probably give Part One a 9).

Yeah, I think Duran's Battleground main is my favorite match this year, so far. ...you bastard.

Flow! It's so awesome to have you back and writing columns again!

Also, I was Martin "Big Country" Hunt.

I remember Thugg getting mad when I had him eliminated from the Clusterfuck in about 2 minutes. In hindsight, I'm glad I did, because he hasn't been here since. Now that's selling anger!

"Does this look like a Q to you?"

The answers you WANT~

The Flaming Lips - Wastin' Pigs is Still Radical (1991) 1. Talkin' Bout the Smiling Deathporn Immortality Blues - 9 2. All That Jazz/Happy Death Men - 7 3. Jets (Cupid's Kiss vs. the Psyche of Death) - 10

And happy birthday to Rev0's Sean Davis/Jackie!

Slightly off topic, but still: August 24th! I'm glad I didn't buy the old version of it.

I only saw Alonzo's, but it was fucking awesome.

That promo was SO awesome. And pulling a Dukes of Hazzard into a VW Beetle? Well, that's just plain perfect.

Can we afford to have a mineshaft gap?

Man, this new CWM reminds me of Kenneth, the bad-ass mail clerk with a heart of gold.

Duran vs. Grand Slam? Awesome!

Comment time! This is random crap I think of as I read a match, so take it with a grain of salt. MALL BRAWL V! OMSNAUSAGES IT'S STRANGLER! Frost and Leon Sharpe cameos? Awesome. Dustin tricking everyone with the fake gold balloon is a great twist, and the big brawl over it was a nice spot. NTD HAS PANTS! MIDGETS FIGHTING IN AIR VENTS! MIKE TYSON USING BIG WORDS! The one thing that would've made that better would be Danny Williams (the wrestler!) knocking Tyson out with an elbow. Petey and Dustin fighting in penguin suits is great. Oh my god, Martin Lawrence? Runteldat! I saw the 'survey prize is the balloon' thing coming from the time it was introduced, but it was still pulled off nicely with the Yankee fan winning it. Holy fuck, it's Cutthroat! Oh man, this is nuts. That's the most fun I've had reading a match in a long, long while. Kudos, Strangler. You've still got it, you old bastard. Awesome little John Duran promo, as he wants to get back into the main event and prove himself. Well, it's about time, Duran. Win the title again, or something. CANDACE vs. ...THE SNOW DEMON! Well, your writing has improved, but some of the detail is unneeded. For example, Funyon's attire and how much it costs = unnecessary. Still, the description feels a little polished. Again, it's better, but you need to work on your transitions - it's just the little things to get from spot to spot so it doesn't read so much like "missile dropkick, arm drag, buzzsaw kick". Nice to see you've got a good grasp of the commentators, as well. The interaction between Frisco and Cortez just seems forced and awkward. I'm all for seeing low blows in matches, but it's odd that the referee doesn't notice it. Also, you might want to rethink using a diamond cutter as a finisher - we already have Ace Lezaire and Manson using it as a finisher. The 'top rope to the outside' spot needs some better description, because I can't tell exactly what it was. A superplex? How does she 'dive' out of the ring? Again, it's just a little awkward. The finish...well, the finish was unique, at least. Still, I don't get why the referee didn't disqualify one of the parties for the amount of interference they did. Solid second effort, and as long as you can improve your grammar and transitions, you'll be good to go. OH SHIT, THE THREE MOST CHARISMATIC SUPERSTARS EVER EXPLODE! Great, great interaction between Todd, Mask, and Mike, written superbly by Mike, if I do say so myself. The tag title situation is getting increasingly interesting, and I'm glad to be a part of it. THE BIG CUNT AND THE BIG BLACK GUY DO IT HARDCORE! Well, that certainly is a...long-winded opening to the match. I understand real life got in the way (believe me, it's happened more than once to me), but 1.5k or so for pre-match stuff is kinda nuts. And, hey, for what the match is, it's good. Neat double team by Spike and Sean, and a big bump to cap it off. It's too bad you couldn't flesh out the match more, because I like both characters (Hunt & Davis that is. Spike sucks). I'd like to see a rematch. Cool promo video for the USJL Title match! A VETERAN! A ROOKIE! A PRESTIGIOUS CHAMPIONSHIP! AN UNWITTY TITLE! Again, seeing Manson motivated and writing matches again is so neat. Pretty pedestrian start, but it quickly picks up. The commentary is kinda blah, but it's not a big deal. One thing that struck me as funny: "(Comet) The fans, this crowd coming alive for MANOSN!" You should make Manosn one of your nicknames. It'd be awesome. Anyway, like King mentioned, you have a good amount of description, and you tell a good story in the ring. The finish was kinda out-of-the-blue, but it worked with the context of the match. Again, if you had time, you probably could've fleshed it out a bit more, but it's still a good little match. And that's the first half of the show. I don't feel like reading 40-thousand more words right now, so the last three matches will have to wait until later.