Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!
Lois: Oh, look, Meg, it's your little baby booties. Oh, and your little bronze hat. And your tail.
Meg: My what?
Lois: Nothing.