The Czech Republic

OMG! Bill Walton just said something about how the various Yugoslavian nations were formed! whoa

He didn't even intentionally cheat! He's just not very bright!

It's not Snoop Dogg

Yeah I'm thinking this time he throws out his back bending over to tie his shoe.

Yeah they only had the balls to put Tiger Woods winning a bunch of golf tournaments ahead of Wayne Gretzky racking up so many goals and assists than the assists alone outnumber anyone else's combined figure. I think records, I think Gretzky. He's got every major record in the book.

Wait a minute. TIGER WOODS! Why isn't HE up there? Williams Sisters too, apparently when you're black in a white sport you're automatically awesome. Unless you're Jarome Iginla in which you're Canadian, which cancels the black out to make him just a white guy, as if Canadian is just white to a higher degree. It also doesn't help when you play hockey.

If the media was talking to me every day, and my comments were perpetually published, I'd be happier than a pig in shit. Everybody would hear about everything that's on my mind, and I wouldn't have it any other way. To hell with guys refusing the media. I'd flag reporters down! "Hey! Hey you fromt he Tribune! Have I got a quote for YOU!" I agree with most of the ESPN Golden Boys. However, John Stockton was a decent guy and there's nothing to complain about if ESPN recognizes his greatness. Malone, not so much.

Aren't they now trying to be call the rather generic "Rays" and "Jays"? Or did they decide to drop that whole idea? You can call me Ray. Or you can call me Jay. Or you can call me Ray-Jay stupid commercial

Why not just break out "Breakdown" again? That was a cool one-shot PPV name.

Because a Smarkboard turns its lonely eyes to him.

Jay Kerryotti can't go a day without changing his opinion on something. Sometimes even in the middle of a point. Then everyone laughs at him, he points his finger up like "give me the points" and I point my middle finger up going "you made Chicago look dumb again, Jay! WOODY PAIGE IS OUTSMARTING YOU! Though the other day when Woody Paige tried to celebrate the birth of the NBA and said "the National Basketball Associan" and everybody lost it, himself included...that was fine television. Almost as good as: "Woody, you win. The 15 seconds are yours. Go." "Whoa. I didn't think I'd win today. So I didn't write anything."

Los Boricuas! Hands up high! Los Boricuas! We don't know why! I miss the Gang Warz. Not the HD ones. The Vince Russo ones.

Our first order of business is this. Trust me, it's gonna be great. We sneak out of the Olympics in Athens, because the threats of terrorism are too high. At least that's what we tell them. Then we get into a Volkswagen that I bought, and travel from country to country, spreading the wisdom of the Grateful Dead and John Wooden, magnificently synergized in an applied study I like to call Waltonology. It's too complicated to explain right now. I'll give you the gist of it on the way to Istanbul. And what a town that is. Istanbul. You may or may not know this, but Istanbul is actually the third name the city has had. Yes, that's right. Perhaps even more. It's been Istanbul when run by the Turks, like it is right now, but it was also known as Constantinople, for the great emperor Constantine. But there's more, you know: it was also known as Byzantium too. I'd say that's quite a record! And I thought the Sacramento Kings had a lot of former names. Yeesh. But getting back to Turkey. I never understood how you could be Hungary next to Turkey and Greece. But then a wise scholar, far wiser than I, explained that Hungary was named for the Huns, and Turkey the Turks, so thus there was no connection to hunger or turkey. Anyway, meet me in the parking lot. We've got a long, strange trip coming.

Probably has the same grasp of English as the people waiting in line.

The WWE folder is in my pants. Wait. Wrong thread. Wrong FOLDER. Oh well it stays

Oh so he works at the DMV.

It's funny that you bring that up, Mr. Aggression. Because in October of 1973 I had a "threesome," if you will, involving two very special ladies in my life, Rosey Palm and Mary Jane, as the kids liked to say back then. I had Dark Side Of The Moon playing, and was just thinking about life, as I'm inclined to do. Then I decided to get to know myself, if you know what I mean. There was an intrusion, and the sound you heard was quite like what you heard in the classic USA vs. Germany game. Also, part of that sound was a result of me somehow blowing out my knee amidst the witnessed climax. And it just goes to show you that the Los Angeles Lakers are ready for anything that may come their way.

We're beating a dead horse in my pants.

See? That's why we should've offed them when we had the chance! The Tampa Bay Devil Rays, however, are like the hooker in Senator Geary's room in The Godfather Part II: no harm would be done if they died, because they didn't have any fans, nobody knew that they worked at Tropicana Field. It would be like they never existed.

They've gotta give severance for 90 days, or the duration of the contract, or whatever. I don't think it's legal to contractually forbid somebody from earning income.

Fine then. Mike Piazza.

The Dark Horsemen? Why not just cut through the bullshit and call them The Niggers while you're at it.

It would be nice to have 16 and 16, but more realignment? More expansion? Hell, we were talking about 14 and 14, which quite frankly, I wouldn't have minded had the two Florida teams gotten the ax, rather than Expos and Twins. The way things are now is fine for now, I guess.

TABOO TUESDAY? Does that mean the commentary team hsa to call a match without using certain words? JR: And what a move by Paul London, a...um, movement downward of the...not the leg, but the other extremity... King: HAHA! WHOOOOOAAA, be careful! JR: NO NOT THAT! Okay, fire-breathing... King: Dragon? JR: Yeah yeah Dragon, minus the "in" King: Puppies? JR: BAH GAWD IT'S NOT PUPPIES! King: Hurry Jim, the clock's running out! JR: I'M TRYING TO CALL A DAMN MATCH HERE WITH BILLY KIDMAN! King: That's Paul London-- JR: I DON'T CARE! King: I didn't guess the move yet. JR: Okay, you got the drag, now, what your hand is attached to King: Puppies? JR: GOD DAMMIT IT'S AN ARM DRAG! AN ARM DRAG! Eugene: You can't use Arm! You get Buzzed! BZZZZZZZZZZZ! HAHA!