That's how I feel, though I'm a bit less vehement than you. I can watch one here and there. I would rather watch Monk for an obsessive detective who's always right, at least he doesn't garner confessions by cocking his head to one side. I also don't like how it was billed as being more from the criminal perspective, and it's really not at all.
SVU is the one I watch most often, though only in reruns. I like Chris Meloni as an actor, so I can sort of forgive the way he tries too hard. Ice T's always good too. It seems like they overreact too much though. Every thing that happens, it's "Oh this is so terrible. The world is sick, I don't know if I can take it anymore." Real cops do get used to their job eventually.
I've only seen a handful of episodes of the original. It seemed alright, I could watch more.