Corey_Lazarus

I'd like the future additions to the SmackDown series not be ghey with the no DQ rules. Just because a wrestler knows the match is no DQ doesn't mean they need to go and use weapons all the time. I was playing SD vs. Raw today (rented it), and the match was Benoit/Flair, with me as Benoit. It ended up going about, oh, 12 minutes, but hot damn it was awesome. Only big downside was Flair constantly going for sledgehammer and chairshots, which he never really does.

That's "cleaning up his work," as it was more than just flashiness and stalling. And RVD's ECW work before the leg injury was actually pretty solid. Stalling? Yes, but it was all done in character. Spotty? Hell yes, but he hit them all with finesse. Redundant? Only a little bit, as odd as it may seem, as Van Dam didn't yet rely on Rolling Thunder and the Five Star all the time. The match with Lance Storm from Guilty As Charged '99 was a pretty decent **3/4-*** bout, and didn't even feature a win from any of RVD's trademark moves (in fact, he used a bridged German Suplex to end the match). As for the RVD/Lynn series...I've grown to hate them over the years. Lynn's done much better work with Justin Credible, AJ Styles, and Steve Corino, and RVD's done better work with Lance Storm, Sabu, and Jeff Hardy. The only matches really of note are from Living Dangerously '99 and Hardcore Heaven '00, as those are the only two RVD/Lynn matches that don't repeat every single spot from the prior match in a different order (Living Dangerously because it was their first PPV encounter, and Hardcore Heaven '00 because it was during Lynn's big push and the segue into the RVD/Anton feud). Personally, I think these should be the matches: RVD vs. Sabu - Stretcher Match (yes, it's on ECW Hardcore History, but how many people own that?) RVD/Sabu vs. Hayabusa/Jinsei Shinazki - Heat Wave '98 (THE tag spotfest archetype in the States) RVD vs. Lance Storm - Guilty As Charged '99 (**3/4-*** match, as stated before, and was a nice change after RVD had been primarily in tag bouts on TV) RVD vs. Jerry Lynn - Living Dangerously '99 (simply for ECW historical significance) RVD vs. Scotty Anton - Heat Wave '00 (for the debut of the Van Terminator alone) RVD vs. Rhino - Anarchy Rulz '00 (one of RVD's only singles losses in ECW after April '98, and also a pretty damn decent match) RVD vs. Jeff Hardy - InVasion (as said before, the match that MADE Van Dam in the WWF/WWE) RVD vs. Chris Benoit - SummerSlam '02 (for the mandatory addition of Benoit to any WWE DVD) Can't think of any other WWF/WWE matches of note that haven't already been released...

**obligatory and ridiculously expected COREY LAZARUS PIMPS SHADOWS FALL post**

Slayer, I know how you feel about the playgrounds, man. Fletcher's Field is a park down the street from my house, and 4 years ago, it was made of steel and wood. The ground was made of pebbles blocked off by the concrete walkway by old pieces of wood nailed together, and there was even two merry-go-round's: one that was designed like a color wheel on a completely even surface, and another that was rusty and brown and on a slant with only three bars to hang onto. Guess which one was more fun? We'd play on that playground for hours on end. When we were little, it was just running around. When we developed the means to convey our imaginations, it was playing Aliens, Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles, war, and even Exo-Squad or Night of the Living Dead (yes, we played zombie-based games down there). Now? It's all made of foam and plastic, the pebbles replaced with wood chips, the monkey bars only a foot wide and 5 feet from the ground (it used to be about 7 feet high, and 2 1/2 feet wide), and the merry-go-round's have long since disappeared. Hell, the only thing remotely similar about how it once was is the bleachers for the baseball games, and the dugouts. That's it. Everything else was renovated "for the safety of children." Bullshit. You want your kids to be safe? Let them break their arm when they hit the ground after falling off of the top of the monkey bars that they were standing on. Have them learn at a young age that consequences come from every action. And please, for fuck's sake, BRING BACK MERRY-GO-ROUND'S. Oh...and this bitch? Give her a detention, and then a week's detention. If she don't wise up? THEN suspend her. It's almost as much bullshit as my gym teacher telling us that dodgeball - fucking DODGEBALL, where you throw air-filled spheres of rubber at one another - was too dangerous to play, so instead we're playing street hockey.

Not to this guy.

What else is new? You having no fucking clue what people are talking about, I mean. Of course, that's usually because you're too busy shoving your face between Swiggy's legs, but alas.

When Michael Sain hit a Fireman's Michinoku Driver II onto Frankie Arion to become the two-time NECW Heavyweight champion, since the month prior Arion only won because his big brother interfered on his behalf.

It's a bridging double chickenwing. Danielson applies a double chickenwing, almost as if to go for a Tiger Suplex, and then forces his opponent face-down onto the mat, rolling his own body forward and planting his toes on the ground, arching his back to stretch out his opponent's arms. Punk's Pepsi Twist sounds a whole lot like Garrison Cade's move, the Blue Thunder Bomb/Rock Bottom thing.

I ran. I ran so far away. I ran. I ran all night and day. I had to get away.

Inheritance A thrash/death metal band out of my hometown of Franklin, MA. Originally known as Spinecast, they changed their name to Inheritance because there was already another death band named Spinecast. Reminiscent of Morbid Angel, early In Flames and Dark Tranquility, and Slayer. I highly recommend them, as I went to high school with the singer/lead guitarist, Ricky Zampa; worked with the lead guitarist/backup singer, John Crawford; and grew up with the bassist/backup singer, Pat Matheisen. The drummer I don't know at all, but the rest are pretty cool guys. Save for Pat, who's a major cocksucker. And even though they broke up due to creative differences... Sound Like The Hu-Man Rap. Funk. Hardcore. Death metal. Folk. Industrial. Indy rock. Psychadelic. Prog. All of these make up the influential styles of Sound Like The Hu-Man. With Steve O'Neill on guitars and his younger brother Daniel O'Neill on drums, and Mike Roberson on bass and their friend Nathan Peavey on vocals, the band had a unique sound, probably best described as "Fugazi meets Cannibal Corpse." Very experimental, often heavy, and always good to groove out to. The band's name is derived from the classic b-movie Robot Monster, and the band's lyrics come from satire of "I hate my life" bands, b-movies, and even episodes of The Twilight Zone (as the song "Twilight" is based off of the episode where the woman is in a coma due to a high fever, and dreams that the Earth is heading too close to the Sun, but in actuality, the Earth is moving too far from the Sun).

Take That. And Zack, I got your back on loving 2Gether. Because, yes, the hardest part of breaking up, actually, IS getting back your stuff, because then there's the awkward glances, the small flirting, the post-breakup sex, and then the arguing while you bring shit out to your car, and you end up speeding home, but then remember when you enter your driveway "hey, my jacket's still over there...FUCK!"

I don't think "Sweet Dreams" would work. Maybe "Dope Hat," considering the video for that IS the Tunnel Ride From Hell, only done all shock-rocky, since it is Manson, and all. And who the fuck is that above Veruca? And what does Mike Teevee look like?

Skindred > Muse

I don't care if that was a joke. Say that again and I'll kill you. </Swiggy's mother after finding out her son WASN'T straight after all>

Hey, TNA, here's a hint: DO NOT PUT ANYBODY ON YOUR PROGRAMMING WITH BIG PLANS FOR A BIG ANGLE THAT INVOLVES THEM WITHOUT HAVING A LEGALLY BINDING WRITTEN CONTRACT WITH THEIR SIGNATURE ON IT FIRST. Hogan fucked them over like this, and now, so has Savage.

You must have really hairy balls.

My answer should come as no shock considering I've been saying they should be in the main event for the past, oh...year or so? AJ Styles, Raven, Ron "The Truth" Killings, Jeff Jarrett (needs to be because he runs the show, and IS slightly over as a heel), Christopher Daniels, and Abyss.

Actually, they didn't. Manson expressed interest, because he's been obsessed with the movie and book ever since he was little (hell, an entire chapter in his autobiography is dedicated to his love for the movie), but Dahl's family said they wouldn't allow it if Manson was cast.

Green Jelly really didn't have much of a gimmick, man. They wore whatever they came to the show dressed in, only had props in their music videos (well, all the videos for Cereal Killer were claymation), and played songs as a way of making fun of everything. Call it musical satire. That's not so much a gimmick as it is being true to themselves. Because, you know, using your definition of a gimmick, GNR was a gimmick band too, considering Slash always had the hat and the sunglasses and the cigarette, and Axl was the primadonna that would stop a show if he felt the need to order a pizza. It's the "loose cannon" gimmick.

Waltman WAS impressed with AJ, and the two matches they had made me like Waltman again. He busted his ass in the ring with him, sold all over the place for him, and even did a somersault plancha, which is something he hadn't done in, oh...6 years at that point? If Nash/Hall give AJ the rub, and Jarrett/Jarrett/Dutch finally decide to push AJ as the focus of the show? I'll start watching again. Now, all we need is for Hall and Truth to become pals, and hang out all the time, so that way Truth can get his just deserves.

I have a feeling that Nash won't be impressed when it comes time to do the J-O-B for Styles. Unless, of course, Nash is impressed with Styles in that "hey, we'll need a little guy on our side, just like we used to have with Waltman" sorta way.

Nah. Blackman at least had some charisma to him, although that was mostly his charm of lacking a personality. Most uncharismatic wrestler? I'd go for Michael Shane, actually.

I heard one song by them, "Nobody," and I mistook it for a KoRn single. I'll pass, thank you.

Actually, Agent, that's not really true. They were serious about making music that you could laugh about, which they succeeded at very well. Hell, 333 has a song on it called "Fight" that BLATANTLY makes fun of hardcore, and "The Theme Song" off of 333 is a perfect parody of power ballads. And how can you hate Gwar? I mean...they're fucking GWAR!

Dames, you know as well as the rest of us that Jarrett's head is permanently planted near his colon.