kkktookmybabyaway

Hey shit-for-brains, you think any of my people will be falling for this obvious bear trap? Fuck no. The moment there's any kind of racial issue that's addressed and not met with the approval of you and your liberal comrades will pull the OMG RACISM~! card. I was born at night but it wasn't last night. If I was I'd be some kind of prodigy for typing this up instead of sucking on some titties. 9:30 p.m. • So here’s the latest from the crack-whore niece-in-law. She knows this guy who lives about 4-5 hours away. Nineteen years old. No job. Doesn’t go to college. He paid a long-distance booty call. How did he get to my neck of the woods? HIS OLD MAN DROVE HIM. Anyway, the crack-whore niece-in-law took her two-month old kid with her to the hotel room for a night of passion. Where did the kid sleep while her mother got her freak on? The gentleman caller brought a crib. It must have been in storage or something because apparently it was moldy, and now the kid’s sick because of it. Remember, whenever you hear a politician/activist claim that we don’t do enough for the poor, keep in mind that not everyone who takes public assistance is a hard-working provider for a family of four that recently lost his job due to the factory moving to Mexico.

I guess 909 just wants to get a good seat the next time the Raiders make a Super Bowl run.

What an appropriate date.

Wasn't there so I can't tell you. But the crack-whore niece-in-law got knocked up the first time because she was too lazy to go to Target and get her birth-control, even though my mother-in-law would drive her to pick up the pills. Oh, and she got the birth-control free from us.

One page later and I'm still laughing at that picture. Good work.

I will NOT be going back and changing all the times I typed... to... or... Now, onto your regularly scheduled programming.

Roy can say whatever he wants. This, like Smues said, means he probably roided up.

This is too long to type out to make a “comment” when I can milk it for an actual post. The cats are fine for the most part. We have the two males in one room upstairs and the two females in the other upstairs room. They haven’t been around our cats for the most part because the “Welfare Four” have never been fixed or taken for a vet appointment. We also don’t want them getting into trouble with the various wires around the house as well, so for now they are quarantined. What’s funny is that the three litter mates (two males/one female) aren’t a problem at all. However, the mother is a pain in the ass. Much like her owner, she’s a whiny cunt that always wants out and constantly scratches the door and cries at the top of her lungs. Every time I hear her it reminds me more and more about the crack-whore niece-in-law. Earlier this week we introduced her to Max, who is always hanging around the two closed rooms. Of course, after a week of trying to get out and interact with the other cats of the house, this little bitch starts growling and hissing. Integrating her with the rest of the group is going to be a joy – while Max just stood there dumbfounded, if she pulls this shit with JJ or Dessa, the result will be different. Ha. Even as I’m typing this, the mother cat (named “Princess”) is swatting her female 8 month-old kitten because she went up and sniffed her. Man, Princess is so much like her owner it’s hilarious. (Guess I could make the comment here that both parties went out and got knocked up.) Semi-related story. I’m actually amazed that our three cats haven’t been carrying on with the new additions. They HAVE to know something is up, what with the closed doors and meowing. Last night I was cleaning the house and noticed JJ on the living room couch looking outside with his tail puffed out – a sign that something was out there. Sure enough it was another cat. Sure enough I was correct. About 15 minutes later I was cleaning the female’s upstairs room, and in order to do that whenever I went into one room I herded that room’s occupants to the upstairs bathroom. When I did this with the female’s room I kept the door open. JJ came in and looked around. Now even though the scent of foreign cat was in the room, along with a multitude of other “clues,” the first thing he does is go over to the food dish and start eating. No puffy tail. No investigation into the bathroom, which was closed and had meows emanating from the inside. No nothing. Christ is he dense.

In.

Here is not how to make nice with the mother of who you are are banging. You need to read the 2/4 entry to get some backstory. And "Angie" is the "name" of the crack-whore niece-in-law. The following took place during a phone conversation. You can figure out who is who. "Angie wants Princess (one of the female cats) and Buddy (one of the male cats) back when she gets her apartment." "Angie is NOT getting Buddy because he's the most adoptable cat out of the lot. She will get Princess back, and if there's another cat left over it will be Stripe (the other female cat) because she's the least-adoptable of the group. The two males are probably going to be taken first and I'm not going to stop that. And when is Angie going to get her welfare pad?" "I don't know. Probably sometime in May?" "What?" "Probably sometime in May." ***This is when I start getting pissed and the Hulkkk transformation takes place*** "I thought it was going to be March. Well then ALL FOUR cats are up for adoption. Unlike other people I'm not her servant." "Who are talking about ... 'her servant'?" ... F U C K Needless to say it went downhill from there. Sad thing is I wasn't targeting the mother-in-law with that remark, because it's not just her that caters to every whim of the crack-whore niece-in-law. However, upon further review I realized that the father-in-law and better half pretty much bend over to the crack-whore niece-in-law at the request of the mother-in-law. When Mrs. kkk heard about this exchange, she said I needed to apologize. Apologize for what? I'm not sorry about what I said because it's the truth. And you know what: If the mother-in-law is more pissed about me saying this than she is about the crack-whore niece-in-law dropping out of school, going on welfare, having a bastard child with another person who needs sterilized and taking NO responsibility for her actions then too bad. In fact, I think that's the problem right there. The crack-whore niece-in-law has pretty much been allowed to do whatever she wants, and everyone caters to her demands. Except me. Back in 2003, the crack-whore niece-in-law had some mid-term/term paper due. Even though she had months to work on this, she waited until the last minute. And the paper, due on the Monday after Super Bowl Sunday, needed sources and all that other good stuff, meaning the crack-whore niece-in-law needed Internet access. And guess who was the only one that had such a technological marvel? Yep. Just hours before the Super Bowl, I was asked if the crack-whore niece-in-law could come over and use the computer. My response: No. And here's why. -- A few weeks prior, the crack-whore niece-in-law was arrested at Wal-Mart for shoplifting. I was going to watch the Super Bowl and I didn't trust a thief alone in my residence. Besides, the crack-whore niece-in-law wouldn't know what to do half the time, and she would be calling me in for help every 5 minutes. -- The better half offered to "watch" her, but Mrs. kkk had already made plans to go out with one of her friends. I wasn't going to have the better half cancel her plans with someone she infrequently sees; keep in mind these plans were made WEEKS in advance and the crack-whore niece-in-law's request was made the afternoon of Super Bowl Sunday. -- As I said above, this research paper was due THE NEXT DAY. And I was asked about this SUNDAY AFTERNOON. Now if I had been given just a FEW DAYS NOTICE about this, I would not have had a problem. But I was not about to turn my life around for this irresponsible brat. Now before you say, "Boy, kkk, you don't care about anyone else but yourself," I want to point out that ... well, you're probably right. Actually, whenever a genuine need to alter life's schedule arises I have no problems. A few months back I was at the dentist's office when the better half learned that the mother-in-law fell and hurt her knee. I told Mrs. kkk to take her to the emergency room and pick me up afterward. After my appointment I was roaming around the local shopping complex for 4-5 hours while waiting to hear of an update. Sure my afternoon/evening was shot, but big f'n deal. An emergency took place and needed dealt with. Where the hell am I going with this? ... shit ... Oh well, might as well finish with the usual quality send-off...

I always defended you from the haters, but you're on your own with this one.

Do you really care where the maple syrup comes from? That is unless you want to find out how to have it mask the general stench of your city even more than it already does. 7:30 p.m. • President Hussein doesn't care about Kentucky-ians. By the way, how come our president hasn't done more for the fine citizens of the Midwest? Oh, that's right. Because there aren't any welfare recipients standing around going "now who's going to pay my bills?" Then again, why would they -- it's f'n COLD outside.

You're a fighter. Stay on the court for another four, maybe eight years, before stepping down. 10 a.m. • This is one fucked up story. And don't even bother with the "Big Beaver" jokes. I beat you to the donkey punch. The last sentence is ... well. Just read.

We're taking them in and will do everything in our power to give them away. Our three is more than enough.

You're talking about raising taxes AND bailing out the two Philadelphia daily newspapers. Is it 2010 yet? 3:15 p.m. • So for those itching for a fix of what’s been going on with the kkk household, here’s an update. -- The crack-whore niece-in-law squirted out a kid in December. -- The crack-whore niece-in-law walked in on her baby’s daddy having sex with another person … in the house they live together at … while the crack-whore niece-in-law was fully awake. -- The crack-whore niece-in-law, along with her bastard child, is now living with my mother-in-law. -- The crack-whore niece-in-law has gone to more welfare offices than I knew existed this past week, and the better half told me that the commonwealth of Pennsylvania will be charging the baby’s daddy with the hospital bill for the bastard child squirting out. (Oh, and because the crack-whore niece-in-law smoked and did drugs during pregnancy, the bastard child was brought into this world strung out and needed medical attention right off the bat.) The total cost being sent to the baby’s daddy? $20,000. Now here is where I come in. Am I offering any aid, assistance or comfort to the crack-whore niece-in-law? FUCK NO And if you thought otherwise, just how long have you been reading this blog? What I am going to do is rescue the four cats that are still at the baby’s daddy house. Why are there four? Because the crack-whore niece-in-law adopted a cat, did not get it fixed, and it ran off and got knocked up. Gee, that sounds awfully familiar. Who says pets don’t take after their owners? Anyway, the crack-whore niece-in-law is at yet ANOTHER welfare office today, so I’m not sure when the kitties will be arriving at the kkk household. Why are the cats going to take refuge here? Because we are more than convinced that once the baby’s daddy gets the $20k bill those cats are as good as dead. The better half told me that the medical bill will be arriving in his mailbox sometime next week, so I’ll be expecting the new arrivals either today, tomorrow or sometime this weekend. While I’m on this subject, how come the baby’s daddy has to foot the ENTIRE medical bill? How about splitting it down the middle between him and the crack-whore niece-in-law? Oh, that’s right. The crack-whore niece-in-law is a leech to society. Man, whenever my mother-in-law keels over, the crack-whore niece-in-law is in some serious trouble. My father-in-law, if he doesn’t keel over first, won’t be doing jack shit for her, nor will the kkk household. She’ll have to fill out her cash assistance forms all by herself. Oh noes. And just think. Whenever you hear a politician or advocacy group say we don’t do enough for the poor, think of the crack-whore niece-in-law.

He's not a welfare leech, but he's a fucking idiot and we think he's borderline retarded. His house is about to be foreclosed on anyway, especially after he finds out he's in the hole for $20k. The reason the better half thinks he's a danger to the cats is that his ex-girlfriend and he got a kitten some years back and the kitten died a day or so later. I wouldn't put it past him. Still waiting for the cats.

Que?

In today’s editorial titled: "Drop Dasschole: The health nominee is not up to Osama's standard," your editorial board starts out with the following: Now after a few paragraphs of “blahblahblah” I notice this passage: Now let’s look at today’s editorial headline one more time. Drop Dasschole: The health nominee is not up to Osama's standard I’m curious to know why there isn’t any concern about Osama’s “standard." You even took the time to list the gang President Hussein thought would be ideal to tell us how to lead our lives -- Mr. Holder, Mr. Geithner and Mr. Lynn. How come no "concern" is expressed about Mr. Osama's judgment in people? Oh, yeah. I remember. Because your publication is nothing more than left-wing trash and is in financial dire straits. At least one good thing has come out from all this. For years you liberal faggots whined about being called "unpatriotic." Well, after having the current vice president tell us that paying taxes is "the patriotic thing to do," I completely understand why President Hussein's posse don't bother to fulfill their civic duties when it comes to filling the public coffers with their hard-earned money.

For each week of the playoffs, participants need to not only predict the winner/spread-cover of each round's worth of games. You also need to predict the score of each game. You must also PM me your picks, and for God's sake, DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN YOUR SELECTIONS. If you want, send them to me earlier in the week and let me know that you are going to possibly update your picks later on in the week. If you do this, I won't post your selections until your updates or kick-off time should you forget. If you don't send in picks, you lose. Below is how the scoring takes place. Any questions, just PM me. This information was taken from last year's contest, so the teams/posters aren't up-to-date. PLAYOFF SCORING: Whoever picks the most correct winners in each matchup advances to the next round. Wild-Card Matchups: JAX/PIT, TEN/SD, WAS/SEA, NYG/TB Example: * Cuban Linx picks JAX/TEN/WAS/NYG to win/cover the spread. * Bob Barron picks JAX/SD/WAS/TB to win/cover the spread. * JAX/SD/WAS/TB win (meaning they covered the spread). * Bob Barron beats Cuban Linx 4-2 Below is what I wrote explaining the rules for last year's game. The same rules apply this year. If there is a tie then the first tie-breaker will be whoever was more accurate in picking the total scores for all four separate games. Example: * Steve Rogers picks Pittsburgh to win 20-0, San Diego to win 21-14, Washington to beat the spread 14-17 in a loss to Seattle, and New York Giants to win 10-0. * Cena's Writer picks Jacksonville to win 20-10, San Diego to win 30-20, Seattle to win 20-9, and New York Giants to win 30-10. * Pittsburgh wins 20-3, San Diego wins 10-0, Seattle wins 30-3 and the New York Giants lose 12-13. * Steve Rogers and Cena's Writer are tied at 2 and move on to the first tie-breaker. * Steve Rogers had 20 points selected in the JAX/PIT game (20 for Pittsburgh, 0 for Jacksonville), Cena's Writer had 30 (10 for Pittsburgh, 20 for Jacksonville). The final score total is 23, so Steve Rogers wins that game. * Steve Rogers had a total of 35 points selected in the TEN/SD game, Cena's Writer had 50. The final score total was 10, so Steve Rogers wins that game. * Steve Rogers had a total of 31 points selected in the WAS/SEA game, Cena's Writer had 29. The final score total was 33, so Steve Rogers wins that game. * Steve Rogers had a total of 10 points selected in the NYG/TB game, Cena's Writer had 40. The final score total was 25, so Steve Rogers and Cena's Writer tie that game. * Steve Rogers defeats Cena's Writer 3 games to 0 with 1 tie in the first tie-breaker. If there is still a tie after the first tie-breaker, the second tie-breaker will be combining the total points of all four games and seeing who is closest to the total score of all four games – the first tie-breaker had all four games counted separately. The third tie-breaker will be seeing who is closest to every team score. If there is still a tie after the third tie-breaker I’ll flip a coin to determine the winner -- heads the “road” team wins, tails the “home” team wins.

I heard your comment about Bud Selig making $17 million in 2007. Nobody deserves to be paid that much? Don’t worry, I’m sure YOUR BOY President Hussein will make your wish come true. I know you're a commie and all, but you do entertain me on PTI. And to your credit, you do keep your unAmerican comments at bay for the most part. 8:30 p.m. • So the city of Shittsburgh was involved in some game the other day. I caught a few minutes of it. Here’s some stuff: 1) Great game, but not THE BEST OF ALL TIME. Get a grip, ESPN. 2) The Harrison beat-down that got 15 yards isn’t an eject-worthy offense. Jesus Christ, I’ve seen MUCH worse in terms of beat-downs during punt coverage. 3) Santonio Holmes deserves to be the MVP. Yes, Ben made the throws, but Holmes made the catches. And there were a number of catches that Santonio made during the game that he turned into big plays. 3a) Actually, Kurt Warner should be the MVP of both teams. After all, he had just as many touchdown passes to Steeler players as did Ben. 3b) One of the things I like about Ben is his movement in and out of the pocket. It’s amazing to see him avoid defenders and make a throw. Sometimes the results are disastrous, but no pain no gain. It was interesting to see Ben do what he did all game and then to watch Warner try to do the same thing on Arizona’s final play of the game. 4) The Cardinals beat themselves. They should have won that game. 5) That roughing penalty on Ben Roethlisberger was bullshit. That roughing penalty on the field goal holder later in the drive wasn’t. 6) When the Steelers kicked the second field goal deep in Cardinal territory I knew there was going to be a comeback. If the Cards would have won this game, the decision not to go for the touchdown early in the first quarter was going to haunt Tomlin for quite some time. 7) Holmes' feet were both down on that touchdown catch. And I did get a laugh out of his LeBron impersonation. I’ve heard “why wasn’t that excessive celebration penalty enforced.” I don’t know. Here’s a thought, though. It looked like Holmes’ back was to the field; my guess is that the officials just thought he was going to spike the ball or something mild and thus weren’t paying attention to Santonio’s antics. 8) I still don’t know what’s worse: “One for the OTHER thumblol” or “Six-pack.” 9) Since when did President Hussein become a Steelers fan? Stop sucking Rooney's cock -- the election is over. And for the record, the Cards were actually a Chicago team once upon a time, so you should have been pulling for your relocated loveable losers. 10) Broadway Joe, you can present all the Lombardi trophies you want. I'll always remember you for this: 9 p.m. • Holy crap. Scott Keith's Biggest Fan is a prophet. Link.

The Harrison punch stuff or Tyler looking like a douche?

Do they have to keep their helmets on even when leaving the field?

I usually get enough fruit and veggies to last a week, so the extra "protection" those bags do seems to work for me in case I have some salad mix or fruit lasting another week or so. No way I'd keep food like that in those bags for as long as those commercials claim. Only thing I vacuum bag is meat.

Tyler, did you know 9/11 was an inside job?

I don't know what's more amazing. The actual touchdown or the fact nobody could get him after 100 yards.