kkktookmybabyaway

Don't know what I was thinking -- I must have been on drugs. Were you really theneocon?

No he wasn't. So he was the premature fetus that was the abortion called "theneocon." My condolences.

• So the weather is nice outside, and that means the groundhog that lives under my shed is starting to venture out, much to the dismay of my next-door neighbor, some old guy named Steve. He doesn’t care too much for the groundhog because he has this mini-garden in which I guess the groundhog helps himself to every now and then. When I first moved here in 2004 Steve told me that there used to be another groundhog living in my yard, along with some baby groundhogs. After successfully catching the female groundhog in some cage trap, he killed it and took the babies out to some field. Now I like Steve and all, but he seemed taken aback when I replied, “Why did you have to do that for?” Seriously, what was the point of letting out some baby groundhogs after you killed their mother? I could understand leaving them all out in a field, but you pretty much gave the younglings a death sentence. This may be the hippie inside of me speaking, but why whenever we’re inconvenienced in the slighted by some animal just trying to survive there’s this inclination to kill? If only we could be that flexible with the human race. A while back I talked about this in a TSM thread, and my opinions on this matter haven’t changed; in fact, they probably got worse in regards to my feelings on the human race. Here's what I said: As for the male groundhog, I saw him out yesterday afternoon munching on some grass, walking right by the trap Steve has laid out for him, which is on my property. I doubt he’ll go into that contraption, seeing what it did to his former shed-mates. However, if I ever do see him in that cage, he's going to be released, not killed. • So before this years’ NFL draft there was talk around Shittsburgh about getting Lendell White from USC with the Steelers’ first-round pick. However, the problem was, at least to all the so-called “experts” around these here parts, that White came with some personal baggage (or something of that nature; I don't know this player so I'm just repeating what was said around here). So with their first pick, Shittsburgh picked some receiver from Ohio State. And what does this guy do over the Father’s Day weekend? Why, he gets arrested for domestic violence. I’m sure a contemporary, understanding family like the Rooneys will understand the hardships of today’s NFL players. Contract talks should be more interesting; at least this got Big Ben’s motorcycle accident off the front page for now. • Speaking of Pennsylvania, I heard that the Speaker of the House who helped organize some bitch-ass legislator pay raise a year or so ago held a recent news conference. He defended this raise, which took place in the middle of the night, by saying that cow milkers in one county made $55,000/year. This article went on to say that the average Pennsylvania wage was $38,000 in 2005. However, even if a cow milker did make $55,000 – so fucking what? You bitches in Harrisburg make more than $70,000/year, and this doesn’t include the per diems, free vehicles, mileage, and other perks. Oh, and this line made me laugh, too. Once again, so fucking what? If that tattoo shop owner provides a service that his customers appreciate, runs his business, pays his taxes, and makes a nice profit from this profession, then more power to him (or her). What has the Pennsylvania legislature done, besides raise my taxes? Faggot-ass bitches. Here's another gem this asshole said: If my state representative can’t make do on $70k/year, then I sure as hell don’t want him to oversee fiscal responsibility of the ENTIRE STATE. Then again, maybe this is just on-the-job training for a Congressional or Senate campaign.

My guess is that he's talking about that goodness otherwise known as a triple cheeseburger. The bun turns to mush from all the grease before it even gets to your table.

So I guess the wedding is off, huh?

If karma really exists, then at the minimum your that friend will have triplets.

Don't you want to see his reaction to when MikeS... err, some of the more conservative posters on the list get mentioned? I know you do.

When you gotta go you gotta go.

• Yeah, you heard me, Smitty. I’m tired of your fucking power trip. Make fun of me because I have a liking for soccer. Goof on the fact that I contribute nothing in terms of intellectual discourse to this place. However, all your “queer” jokes got thrown out the window after I read this little gem. Napoleon Dynamite? I bought this movie for $5 last year because I heard good things about this film. And then I actually watched this piece of shit. What was the fucking point of this movie? The whole time I’m waiting for some payoff that will make the 90 minutes I spent viewing this unfunny crap worthwhile, and what do I get? Some white boy who makes me look like finalist to the show “Breakdancing with the Stars.” One reason I do not trade in movies, CDs or video games that I purchase is because I always say to myself there will that time in the future when I’ll feel like watching/listening/playing this forgettable purchase. Napoleon Dynamite is really making me take a long, hard look at this policy. And this is coming from someone who has purchased (and still has!) Shaq Fu: The Return. • OK, I feel for people who fall onto hard times, but there’s a difference between “hard times” and “being an idiot.” I was reading Sunday’s local newspaper, and there was this article about how more people are getting their homes foreclosed (damn you George W. Bush and your tax cuts for the rich). The reasons? Well, there are layoffs. I’ll buy that one. Cost of utilities? OK, now you’re starting to lose me. If you can’t afford a rise in your electric bill or afford gas that’s a dollar or two more per gallon than it was a few years ago, then you certainly can’t afford, and shouldn't have purchased, a $100,000+ house. However, what made me outright yell at this article was the following: Well no fucking shit. Anyone that gets an adjustable rate mortgage has no reason to bitch when interest rates go up and you have to pay more for your mortgage payments. That’s the whole point of an adjustable-rate mortgage; to fuck you over when interest rates increase. If I ever was put in the situation of having an adjustable rate, I’d sure as fuck be aware of when my rate would increase. It’s bad enough property and school taxes constantly get increased; you don’t need the biggest purchase of your life to drastically fluctuate in cost due to a tweak of a percentage point or two. It got even better. Just below this article was one by columnist Jeff Brown of the Philadelphia Inquirer talking about the risks of adjustable rate mortgages. In his second paragraph, he says that more people than ever are applying for adjustable-rate mortgages. I guess this means that in another year or two, we’ll hear about how the wretched economy is kicking people out of their homes when in fact these people did it to themselves. I also bet these people bought SUVs, only to bitch when the cost of gasoline rises. • Because I wake up at the BUTT crack of dawn for work, I normally don’t get to watch sporting events that take place past 10 p.m. However, several times this NBA season I got to watch the Finals on replay early in the morning. But this I don’t get: ESPN cuts the running time of the previous night’s Finals game because of time constraints. Understandable. But what don’t they cut? The 20 minutes spent taking time-outs at the end of a close game. Can’t we skip the sideline huddles and watch more on-the-court action; even it wasn’t taking place during the last minute of a game?

Bill Plaske is sticking up for Phil.

Forgot about that one. I will be forever in your debt (or at least for 10 seconds) if someone can find that animation of the Fresh Prince getting kicked out of a house.

Might wanna rethink that list. In his defense, he didn't exactly say what I brought.

Your satire is what regulates the tides of poo being washed ashore.

I heard last night that the reason the first penalty kick was called off in the Ghana/Czech game was because the ref hadn't blown his whistle yet. That's a good reason to waive the goal off, imo.

It's Canada -- probably amounts to $1.50 USD. But serioulsy, $50? And here And I thought PNC Bank was bad.

Uh, Whoosh? EDIT: How am I to know that's what the Other Place is called?

KKK's Top 103 Posters Number 84: Crono T Every now and then a poster comes around that changes everything, that rewrites all the rules. With the number 84 spot I proudly announce the emergence of one CronoT. Now I know what you're saying, "How in the hell did Crono make this oh-so-prestigious list?" The answer is simple. Not many people have been able to produce the kind of quality than our very own Mr. T used to. Let us take just a brief trip down memory lane. -- Czech, I'm tired of your fucking power trip. -- A fucking moron writes a GTA:SA "Walkthrough." -- Commenting about the view-to-reply ratio of his threads. Example 1, Example 2, Example 3, Example 4, Example 5, and Example 6 -- Not being able to survive without TSM during Monday Night Raw. -- Looking out for the welfare of our children by fighting televised obscenity. -- Weeping over a very emotional flash movie. -- Going after illegal video game distributors at your local mall. -- Refusing to take part in America's civic duties. -- When not bulking up by pushing shopping carts back into Wal-Mart stores, Crono was making fun of the Sony corporation for premature advertising. While some are glad Crono is gone, I am not one of these people (although there are rumors that he has returned under a different name, however, it won't be the same). Hell, it's not everyday that someone on this list gets their very own entry. And if it wasn't for Crono T, I would have no idea what the "Frog Ending" means. So, with a tip of the cap and a moment of silence, let us take this time to remember a former cornerstone of our TSM family. When you're good enough to get the Best Ending, the Frog Ending, and the Secret Ending, then we'll talk. Until then, keep on digging, Watson. And now a word or three from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From SFA Jack: From Porter: From King of the 909:

The Conservative Faction is "green"? I think a better color combo would be Blue for the libs and Red for the cons. That way, you have the Red state vs. Blue state thing going, and when they form like Voltron it turns purple, which would be appropriate on a number of levels. Wow, I thought through this way too much.

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 85: Ant 7000 In honor of Bill Lester, who will be mentioned later on in this entry, I’d like to say that Ant700 is THE FIRST BLACK POSTER TO MAKE IT IN KKK’S TOP 103 POSTERS LIST SINCE WILLIY T. RIBBS 20 YEARS AGO. I normally don’t agree with Ant on race-related issues, but he speaks so well. Besides, he knows his rap music. I may not know who today’s young rappers are, but I’m with Ant in saying peace out to Ol' Dirty Bastard. Also, he tries his hardest to answer that age-old question: "Why do black men go after fat white girls?" And now a word or two from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From Carnival: From EricMM: • Someone from the Associated Press is reading my blog. How else could you explain the lead in this article? (Look here for the orgins of where this stupid joke came from.) • While watching Ghana stun the Czech Republic 2-0 earlier today, I couldn’t help but think back to when I laced up the cleats and participated in this regional soccer tournament back during my school days. Every year this college about an hour or so from where I lived hosted this tournament, and its rules were pretty much the same as the World Cup’s; we played three games from our group (although each group had more than just four teams) and then the winner of our group played the winner of the other group in our division. In our first two games we won by scores of 1-0. Even though we didn’t lose and allow a goal, we were still in danger of not advancing because there was another team that was 2-0 in group play and had scored more goals than us, which was the first tie-breaker. We won our third game 3-0 and managed to advance to the final game. Funny enough, we were playing against another team that was also from our area/township. In 90+ degree heat we played to a scoreless tie. We then played four overtime periods, which also went scoreless. The game ended in a 0-0 tie, and even though we didn’t “win,” this tournament was a great experience for me because during my soccer days I played the position of defenseman. My team may not have won the whole thing, but when you play good defense you can be assured that you won’t lose, either. Well, at least you won't lose before tie-breakers are factored in. Anyway, the reason I got a flashback to this tournament years ago was because in the Ghana/Czech game there was a penalty kick which was whistled off and had to be re-done. The same thing happened in my championship game. Our team got awarded a penalty kick, which would have sealed the deal for us. When the players got lined up, our forward kicked the ball into the net. However, the referee called the goal off because about 20 seconds before the kick someone FROM THE OTHER TEAM walked across the space between the kicker and the goalie (our player missed on the second attempt). To this day I still don’t understand the reasoning for the call back, especially considering that once the penalty kick was taken, play got stopped and the defending team got the ball back in the form of a goal kick. But in the end I got my medal, so it's all good. • I'll say this about the referee in the U.S./Italy game. If he called a game in South America like the way he called tonight's match, I don’t think he’d be leaving the field alive. Oh, and earlier in this game I could have sworn I heard a “bull…shit” chant. Other countries sing, dance and play musical instruments at the World Cup; we yell “bullshit” over a bad call. Then again, I’m sure the other countries are saying equally obscene phrases, along with probably other chants like “Death to Israel” and “Jihad Jihad Jiahad” it’s just that I can’t understand what they’re saying. Finally, as I type the U.S. still hasn’t scored a goal yet in a game-and-a-half. The only goal they registered was from an Italian player putting it into his own net. I know we Americans have to import just about everything we use, but has it gotten so bad that we need to start importing soccer goals, too?

That's pretty bold there, raz. I would have Ghana winning by at least 5.

2-0 Ghana.

With the skill level of the teams I was on/faced, plenty of goals were scored in my games.

Went to Chuck E. Cheese as a kid for my one b-day. I can't remember a thing from it.

The baby in the microwave and second shark picture were some of my favorites.