kkktookmybabyaway

I'm just more of an accepting internationalist than you.

Since your buddy's the groom he probably won't care. If your friend was the wife, then she'd probably bitch about it until the day she dies. (I'm half-joking here; probably at the worst she'll make a note of what you gave and will give the same to you when you get hitched, which is perfectly fair, imo.) $50 is just fine, especially if you're going to be there by yourself (no guest). Even if you brought someone, that's still good. And if Hawk sent back my $50 gift I'd say, "thanks" and pocket it. In addition, gift cards are a GREAT wedding gift, along with buying stuff that's, you know, are on the person ACTUAL WEDDING REGISTRY. And if you're going to get a gift card, make it to a place they want to shop at. (Note I'm speaking from personal experience on all of this.) And for all the "$50 haters" out there, my old man's wedding table of eight gave me and the better half $40 TOTAL. When we were counting up the money afterward, most of the money gifts were $50. One of my groomsmen gave us $100 and there were a few $20-40 amounts, too. It was nowhere near the amount of money needed to pay for the wedding/reception costs, but whatever. I'm only going to have to do all this shit (hopefully) once.

My two males would run away from a bird.

That three-thread saga you and Mike had was more entertaining, imo. Mike's banning was a shame, too, because what some call "derailing" others call "entertainment."

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 89: Olympic Slam I guess you could classify Olympic Slam as a pilgrim in an unholy land. He’s more conservative than me yet lives in California. That alone should make him the Michael Savage of TSM. Considering he loves said talk-show host, I think this indeed makes him the Michael Savage of TSM. Either way, I have no problems with the chap. • Once again America is sticking its middle finger up to the rest of the world and saying, “Fuck you all, we’re going to do what we Americans want.” Is this because we’re going to invade another country? Not that I know of. Are we thumbing our nose yet again at the United Nations? I wish. No, it’s World Cup season, and despite other countries shutting down to watch their team run around a field for 90 minutes kicking a ball, we here in the United States just give out a collective yawn. I’m one of the bigger oddballs in this country because I like the game of soccer. I played it for 14 seasons as a kid, and ever since 1990, when I was 14 years old, I have tuned into this tournament. Granted, I have no idea who any of the players are, but sometimes you watch a sporting event for other reasons. For example, one spectacle of the World Cup that I enjoy seeing is the spectators cheering on their team, waving flags, singing and rattling off noisemakers. The actual game itself is not that bad to watch, either. I don’t think I’d be able to watch soccer on a regular basis, and I don’t tune into that American MLS league; once every four years tends to provide me with an ample fix. Back in 1990 I remember West Germany winning the World Cup after beating Argentina 1-0 on a cheesy penalty kick late in the game. I also remember England having a really old goalkeeper, Italy getting pretty far, and some guy from Cameroon with black sweatpants. What I remember most about this tournament, however, was that several times the only goals scored in a game were done during TNT’s commercial breaks. There’s nothing more gratifying than watching a game for an hour or two only to have the game’s only goal come while you’re watching an ad for some airline or sports drink. When you got back from the break you saw a bunch of players jumping on top of each other with the announcers saying, “While we were away, Italy just scored the first goal of the game. Here’s the replay.” Sorry, but watching a replay isn’t the same as seeing the real thing live. Is it any surprise that by the time the 1994 World Cup came around the games were interruption-free? Rather than go to commercial breaks, the games just put a sponsor’s logo in the corner for 20 minutes or so. Four years later the World Cup was hosted in the United States. Some things I remember about this event were the U.S. upsetting Columbia thanks to some player scoring in his own net. The U.S. eventually lost to Brazil 1-0, but if memory serves, Brazil was playing shorthanded thanks to a red card, so instead of going with the mainstream opinion of "our boys played tough," I always thought they should have upset the Brazil squad. The success of the ’94 World Cup was supposed to show Americans how great the sport of soccer is. It didn’t. The 1998 World Cup was probably the worst ever for America. Not only did the Frenchies win the whole thing, but the United States lost to Iran in group competition. America fared much better four years later when they went out in the quarterfinals to Germany, the tournament’s eventual runner-up. From what I’ve heard about this year’s tournament, the U.S. is in a tough bracket and may not make it out of group play. Big deal. Just because America can’t dominate one kind of sport that doesn’t mean that sport should be ignored. Besides, it’s always nice to have other countries dominate the world’s stage every once in a while. Who am I going to pick for the World Cup? Well, I always go with Brazil followed by the host country as a sleeper pick.

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 90: Masked Man of Mystery He’s masked and he’s mysterious. He’s the Masked Man of Mystery and he’s occupies the 90 spot on the list. There are two reasons he is on this list. The first is that he’s a Professional Otaku, and no list is complete without one of those. The second is that he said one of my all-time favorite lines at this place. After getting his feathers ruffled by an anti-Muslim remark by MikeSC (big surprise there) he said: Surprisingly enough, he returned, and even posted, in the above-mentioned thread. Not only that but he also educated us on who that hot piece of under-developed ass is in his avatar. I still have no idea what a Professional Otaku is, but damnit I know I just have to have one. And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From lovecraft321: • Well today was the suq. I noticed last night that Max was having some issues with using the litter, so today it was yet another trip to the vet. Turns out he has another urinary tract infection and has to stay overnight. Hopefully with the new diet we’re going to put him on he won’t have this trouble any more, or as much. There’s some other trouble brewing as well because the way the better half and I trick him, Dessa and JJ into their carrier no longer works. For years one of us would pick up whoever had to go to the vet and the other person would get the carrier. By the time the captured realized that they had been tricked it was too late for them to escape. A few years ago, they began to get wise to practice, so we went with Plan B. We give them scheduled feedings – a quarter cup of kibble when we wake up and right before bedtime. They have this schedule down pat, but whenever we needed one of them to get in the carrier we would put food in their dishes. When the three of them would romp into the feeding room thinking they were getting second breakfast, the better half would close the door and I would go get the carrier from the basement. This tactic worked about a half dozen times. Notice I said “worked.” Now when it’s not early in the morning or late at night and we’re putting food in their bowls, they hover around the room’s entrance waiting for us to leave before entering. Today was even worse. Not only did Max totally stay out of the feeding room, but also he took off and hid underneath some chairs in the kitchen. Of course after I moved the chairs he scampered off and hid under the dining room table. Once that was moved, he went under the living room coffee table. After that it was under a corner table between our two living room couches. Once I rearranged half of the living room’s furniture he made a dash to the basement and behind the staircase, which he has pretty much his own lair. Because I couldn’t reach him anymore I had to flush him out via squirt bottle, forcing him to get out in the open. But did that ploy work? Nope. The little bastard ran upstairs into the spare bedroom. This was a good news/bad news situation. By going into the spare bedroom he was limiting his escape options. However, if he got under the bed it would be a pain in the ass to get him out. I was able to nab him before he made it under all the way under the bed and then it was off to the vet. • Having two lawyers settle a dispute over the location for a witness statement with a game of “rock, scissors, paper” is cute, but I would have preferred pistols at dawn. • Entertainment Weekly made some hippie list about the 25 Most Controversial Films OF ALL TIME, and the Passion of the Christ tops the list. Other entries include A Clockwork Orange, JFK, Natural Born Killers, Fahrenheit 9/11, The Da Vinci Code , United 93, Deep Throat, The Last Temptation of Chirst, The Deer Hunter, Basic Instinct and Do the Right Thing. Uh, ok. This seems a little too Vh1-ny for my taste, and I really don’t know what to about the appropriateness of these listings, considering I didn’t bother to watch most of these movies.

Chaos was the man -- not every fighting character uses vomit and farts as attack moves. Although his ending was one of the lamer ones. Sauron's was great. I also didn't like fighting Blizzard and Vertigo. Diablo and that hippie spiked thing were the easiest for me.

This is your memory on drugs.

I'm sure it's a nice place if you want to be left alone.

Chaos was my n*gga. Don't EVER mess with a character that will pee on you for a finishing move. I have this game on PS2 with one of those "best of" collections I buy, play once, then never play again. Talon was a bitch to fight.

The better half bought a bunch of crappy insta-meals (Or whatever those things are called; "insta" for a slow cooker? Yeesh.) and they were shit, which meant I had to wind up eating it all. Did ribs one time and that went over rather well.

I doubt it. Ann's the flavor of the week now. Maybe Mikey G should have waited a few weeks or something.

KKK's Top 103 Posters Number 91: Paul Stanley I don't really talk to Paul all that much, but I seem to remember him going through some troubles in life, from family to job situations. If he's been laid off already for making too much money, here's hoping he finds something that pays him more and has him working less. He seems to be a hit in the Music Folder, particularly when it comes to concert reviews, but since I don't venture much around those parts, I really can't say much more about him. • So now Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is dead. Bye bye. What I think is funny is that Michael Berg, the father of one of Zarqawi's beheading victims, said that not only did he "learn to forgive" Zarqawi for lopping his kid's head off, but he also said that, "I have no sense of relief, just sadness that another human being had to die." Goddamn did the wrong Berg go over to Iraq. • Speaking of commies, it seems that the Jersey Girls caught Ann Coulter's ire, and the conservative skeletor then said some not-so-nice things about these harpies. If you don't remember, these bitches used the memories of their husbands, who died in the 9/11 attacks, to repeat some Democrat talking points in the '04 election season. Of course Ann's comments are causing outrage, with even Hitlery getting in on the action. I'm not a huge Coulter fan, but to these "Witches of East Brunswick" I say too fucking bad. If you are going to exploit your dead spouses in hopes of electing your boy Kerry as president, then get ready for some backlash. Like I've said before regarding this issue, if I had to wake up next to and listen to anyone of this group day in and day out for a prolonged period of time I probably would have jumped from the World Trade Center before 9/11/01. However, I have to take Ann to task on one premise, and that is when she said, “I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much.” When it's my turn to say "what's up" to the Reaper, just wait and see how quickly my life insurance policy gets cashed in. • I might as well complete my insensitive trifecta by talking about a local story. Apparently, some bad heroin (as opposed to the "good" kind found in the organic section of the crack house/meth lab/wherever this shit is made) has been shipped out to the Shittsburgh area, killing some users (and even a few people from the *gasp!* suburbs). Cops have been trying to figure out where the source is coming from, and they're hoping to collect as much of the bad heroin as possible. I say why bother; let the addicts kill themselves. Hell, give me a bag and I'll deliver one (or ten) to my crack-whore sister-in-law’s place of residence, provided that she hasn’t been evicted yet. Also, wouldn't it be better to have this shit out on the street? Maybe it will scare some people out of trying this stuff out. Oh, and from what I heard the bags this deadly dope is in have labels printed on them titled "Get high or die tryin.'" At least its producer can’t be accused of false advertising.

Bored, if you're going to type anything longer than 100 words, do it on a different application (Word), then copy and paste. I learned that lesson a long time ago.

For the record, I'm not "upset" over the Dixie Terrorists, but if they bitch about having the right to speak their mind, I have the "right" to call them by my altered title and make fun of them. Freedom of speech is a two-way street. And I like the "hippies line" for the randomness, too. I was watching it going "what the hell is this," then they went to the hippies shot and I began cracking up. It's a shame they don't actually show one getting vaporized.

• Well, 06/06/06 has come and gone, and the apocalypse did not take place. However, I don’t plan on the Anti-Christ taking any action until she decides to leave her senator's seat in New York and run for president, but that’s another year or so away. Actually I’m rather encouraged about Satan not taking over, seeing how the Angles pounded the Devil Rays 12-2 yesterday. In addition, the Pirates lost last night, so that means all is normal with the world. • For at least six months I have been trying to get the better half to agree with me to switch our phone service over to Comcast from Verizon. Every time I bring this up she says “no.” The reason? She thinks it will be “weird” having phone service with a cable company. Yeah it’ll be weird. It’ll also be cheaper. Yesterday this sales rep from Comcast came to my door and let me know of some special deal where not only would we have our cable internet connection and a cheaper phone service than Verizon's, but also we’d get digital cable all for $20 less a month than what we’re currently paying for standard cable, internet and Verizon phone service. In fact, even after this 12-month promotion expires, we’d still be getting these services for a lower rate than for what we're paying now. When I told Mrs. kkk about this deal she expressed doubt due to the fact she doesn’t like the Digital Cable remote. When we moved back to Pennsylvania in 2003 we signed up for some special deal from Comcast that gave us digital cable for six months free (or something similar). The service wasn’t bad, but I didn’t really care for it, mostly because I didn’t give a crap about the extra channels (although I did tune in to HBO's OZ). However, I care about saving $20 per month, so I’ll deal with the hippie remote. After explaining to the better half that we’d be saving money every month, along with paying for all three services in one bill, I think I got her on the ropes. If this doesn’t work, I could always beat her, but I hold off on spousal abuse as a last resort. Well, maybe not last, but close to last. Well maybe more along the lines of when I don’t feel like bloodying up my work clothes… • Well Steve McNair is going to be traded to the Ravens. I feel for him. McNair put his heart and soul into the Titans for years, playing through pain and injury, only to be told “well you make too much money so off with you.” I understand the NFL is a business, but fuck it; if a team signs someone to a contract, and they have to restructure the deal later on because they promised that athlete more money than the salary cap will allow, then screw the team. I don’t blame the player for wanting what’s coming to him. It’ll be interesting to see how the Ravens play this year with McNair at the helm, or at least until he gets hurt. • So one kitten was reported as rabid at a PetSmart store. Now they are suspending their pet adoptions for the mid-Atlantic region? What, did the cat infect the entire area? From the article: “PetSmart has arranged more than 3 million adoptions in its 17-year history, and has only had one other rabies case, said Paul Amirault, district manager for PetSmart.” So now other cats may have to be put down because they couldn’t find a home via PetSmart. Fuck that shit. I wish we took such drastic measures on humans. So little Bobby has been caught beating up some kid? Time to give his 10 brothers and sisters, plus crack mom, the needle.

I don't care for onions or peppers, so I'm content with just regular ol' tacos.

Won't happen -- too offensive. That special-interest group known as "The Race" will claim it's offensive. Although, on a semi-related note, I found this funny.

"Whiteface." I like that. The scary thing is now he's married and going to be a father soon.

He did after I told him a few seconds later. And he was pitching on three day's rest in the clinching Game 6 of the Series, according to Baseball Reference's Web site, or one of those places.

Even if I'm still around in 2066, I'll never remember what day it is anyway.

Always bet on Brazil, with the host country (sans USA) as the sleeper pick.

So children will benefit from Palmer's cornholing. And I wasn't deemed qualified for a communications-related job while I lived near Cincinnati, but whoever the people picked to name this event the "Cornhole Classic" are? Oh, and if something is being done for the first time, it can't be an "annual" event.

KFC's like Pizza Hut in the sense that every time you have their "food," you swear you're never eating there again. Then a few months later your grease tank needs a fill-up so you return only to repeat this magical process again.

• I get that the NHL isn't the most popular league out there. I get that their cable home, OLN, isn't high up on many people's station line-ups. But for God's sake Michael Wilbon, if you can't figure out how to search for a freaking cable channel then thank Christ you aren't registered to vote in Palm Beach County. And before you go bitching about the length of the Stanley Cup playoffs, check your calendar to see when exactly the NBA Finals conclude. For the record, I consider myself a casual fan of hockey; the only people I know in this Stanley Cup finals are Mark Recchi and Glen Wesley, and that's because I remember both back in the early 1990s when Mark was a Penguin and Glen was a Bruin. It's a shame that the Stanley Cup Finals isn't getting more recognition because Game 1 was fantastic. Too bad Edmonton's goalie got hurt and, from what I heard on the radio earlier today, is out for the rest of the playoffs. Because of this, it looks like Carolina is sure to win it all now. However, one never knows in the NHL; if the Oilers went by conventional wisdom they would have been eliminated in the first round. • Speaking of the Stanley Cup Finals, the WWE broadcast a commercial on OLN pimping their next appearance on RAW in Shittsburgh. Of course, the ad was aired at 9:08 p.m. on a night that Raw was making a stop in the city. Since the Oilers/Hurricanes game was in an intermission, I tuned over to USA just to see what I have been missing. I stopped watching wrestling several years ago, so I am out of the loop when it comes to storylines. I got to USA in time to see Terry Funk (?!) get into the ring, along with a bunch of other ECW'ers I remember watching 10 years ago. Wow. That's all I'm going to say on this matter. Well, that and time can be quite cruel when it wants. • I love Boston Red Sox fans. Sometimes I wonder what they like more, seeing the BoSox win or the Yankees lose. Then again, maybe I'm just jealous. After all, in Shittsburgh, the biggest rival to the Pirates is the .500 mark. Actually, years ago, Lloyd McCleandon said that he considers the St. Louis Cardinals to be the Pirates' “rival” because the Cards are the best team in the NL Central and the Pirates aspire to become the Cardinals one day. Oh well, there's always the Browns/Steelers, or would that now be Ravens/Steelers? Either way, I dedicate this entry to the following AIM conversation I had with my one BoSox pal from earlier today: If you don't know the answer to the question posed in the last line of dialogue, go talk to Bored or Al Keiper. They'll be more than glad to help you out, as well as tell you the win-shares of the last 30 NL stolen base champions.