kkktookmybabyaway

If you were in bed with a white girl and she said it right after you dropped your pants, I'm sure you would find it acceptable. And don't fly off the handle and punch a wall or something -- we have enough people here trying to con the health system as is.

France is filled with boobs, not to mention pussies. At least when it comes to their government. Anyway, how come the British have such bad teeth, what with Big Government health care and all?

And you people wonder why you're so stereotyped.

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 101: EricMM I was on the fence a bit with whether or not to include Eric in this oh-so-prestigious list, but it's not because he’s a commie. In fact, there are a number of lefties at TSM (and at the Other Place) who I get along with just fine (or at least I think I do). However, Eric suffers from time-to-time with one of the more annoying traits some in his camp have – It’s the old “If you disagree with me then you’re just ignorant” syndrome. Hell, he nearly shit his drawers one time when he learned that I set the grass clippings from my yard out for the garbage man to pick up rather than using this precious Mother Earth resource as some sort of fuel-generating product to power windmills. However I shouldn’t be too negative on Eric because I think he’s just a product of his environment (pun intended); you can’t expect some greenie weenie to just change his colors overnight. And besides, we share some common ground on other issues, like, um, making fun of low-carb dieters. Oh, and we also like the Clone Wars cartoons. Also, he can crack a good joke every now and then, which is why in the end I decided to recycle my original thought of putting him on the list. So there you go, you little green bastard. And now a word or two from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From Carnival: From SFAJack: • Back in the ’88 Vice Presidential debate Lloyd Bentsen told Dan Quayle that he was “No Jack Kennedy.” Well, now Quayle is “No Lloyd Bentsen." That's because Quayle’s still alive. LOLZ. Actually, from what I remember and read about Lloyd, I’d gladly take him over just about every Democrat, and quite a few Republicans, that are in office today. • Here’s something that’s getting on my nerves: the dipshits making jokes about people not being able to find OLN on their cable line-up so they can watch the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Like it’s so hard to go on the TV Guide channel and figure out what station the Mighty Ducks/Oilers game is on. I know humans are lazy and stupid, but jeez. And I say go OLN – just because ESPN has a stranglehold on sports programming doesn’t mean every league has to bend over for them. Is the NHL not getting as much exposure by choosing OLN over ESPN? Yes. But it’s not like they were getting monster ratings when they were on ESPN for all those years anyway. • I'm watching the Ducks/Oilers Game 3 and right after the early 1st Period brawling when several members of the Ducks were in the penalty box, this Oilers fan has a sheet taped to the glass with the line, "I'd rather be golfing" in a bubble (that you see when comic characters are thinking) behind one of the players. I love hockey fans from Canada.

That's just ... awesome. And thanks, Treble. Now I'll have to find something else to bitch about.

Mom, Dad (split up). Mom stayed on her own and found Jesus. Dad got married again. One half-sister (dead), three half-brothers. All from my old man's first wife (I was from the second). I don't bother with any of them, sans one, and the last time I spoke to him was at my wedding last June.

Will your insurance cover some pre-existing injury like, say, your hand?

KKK's Top 103 Posters List Number 102: T®ITEC I don’t see T®ITEC online all that much, which is odd considering Utah isn’t exactly a hotbed of social activity, unless you’re a Mormon with 10 wives and it’s “date night” at your compound. Anyway, I did have the fortune of speaking to her a few times on AIM, and she’s a nice enough gal. Because females are few and far between on places like Internet Message Boards, it’s always nice to get their perspective on relationship issues, and T®ITEC is no exception, considering her high kinky score and the offering of sage advice like “stop trying to fuck anything that talks to you, and aim a little higher.” Another plus is that she’s a cat person, which is never a bad thing. And she hates children, which is always a good thing. I still don't know how to type that hippie ® though -- thank God for "copy and paste." And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From SFA Jack: • It’s been revealed that William Jefferson, Democrat, Louisiana, is on tape accepting bribe money or something. I guess this means in the next election he’ll win by a bigger margin than in previous campaigns. • I normally don’t like Pardon The Interruption’s “5 Good Minutes” segment, but today’s interview with A.J. Pierzynski was great, especially when they started talking about Jay Mariotti and how he never frequents the White Sox locker room. • Just heard on SportsCenter that the horse who broke his leg this past weekend is checking out the chick horses in his stable, which the vets said is a good sign. I say it doesn’t mean anything. Even when a man’s on his deathbed, he’s still going to check out his nurse’s cleavage. • This is what is wrong with people – we’re too fat and lazy to check anything. For example, did you know that a 6.5-ounce serving of YoCrunch Low Fat yogurt with Nestle crunch candy pieces has 210 calories? Let me repeat that: a low fat yogurt with NESTLE CRUNCH CANDY PIECES. I get this brand of yogurt every now and then, but I treat this product more of a snack and know that this isn’t the greatest thing in the world for me. However, it could be worse, I could eat an entire Nestle Crunch bar. • I’m going to defend Congress on this one. According to the article, “The House was to vote late Monday on the bill, which requires that state and local preparedness offices take into account pet owners, household pets and service animals when drawing up evacuation plans.” Being the owner of three cats, I’d make sure they have space on the rescue boat than many of the products I saw of our Great Society during Katrina. At least I know when I give Dessa, JJ, and Max shelter, food and water, they won’t end up stealing my television. Breaking it? Maybe. But not stealing it for crack or some bling.

If you live in an apartment how many floors up are you?

Have you got another job lined up? After reading your entry, I assume you don't.

Exactly how much closer are you moving toward BL? And what was your job?

• KKK's Top 103 Posters List So back a week or so ago I was looking at someone’s favorite something-or-other list, and I suddenly got inspired to do my own list of top/favorite posters at TSM. As I began typing away the names of user handles that popped into my head, I had no idea how many names I would continue with before stopping. I got up to 103 before getting bored, and also because I was too lazy to trim off the three names that would make my list an even 100 number. After looking over this list a day or so later I did a little re-arranging of the order and finalized it. So, without further ado, I kick-off KKK's Top 103 Poster List. Number 103: Sideburnious Sideburnious falls under the category of posters I like but I don’t spend much, if any, time talking to. I think one reason I'm having some trouble coming up with a "favorite Sideburnious moment" is because he’s “TSM Invisible Poster.” However, he’s not invisible enough to make #103 on my list. And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From Carnival: So who will be in the 102 spot? Tune in and find out. • So tonight will bring to an end to “Charmed,” one of those shows that I have no idea why I watch. Actually, I know the reason. A year or two ago the better half began watching this program on TNT with three chicks talking and doing nothing but show off cleavage for an hour before finally vanquishing someone (or something) at the end. After asking her what the show was about and being told that it deals with three witches who do a bunch of stuff I retreated to another room. Months went by and every time this show was on television Mrs. kkk would be there watching it. The few times I saw more than 10 seconds of this program I asked questions as to what the hell was going on. The answers I got most of the time just confused me more. "If Cole is the source of all evil why then did he stop being a lawyer?" "Didn't Shannon Doherty used to be on that show?" How come the chick who replaced Shannon can teleport while the others can't?" "Didn't they already kill those Triads before?" "How come Leo can't heal people anymore?" Anyway, whenever a holiday or birthday would come around, getting the latest “Charmed” season released on DVD was always an easy gift choice to get. Because the better half watched these shows nonstop I inevitably started watching them, and once the show came back for a final season on the WB I watched it along with her. Now it’s the series finale and I’ll be hoping that Billie dies a miserable death. If you don’t know who Billie is, don’t ask. Trust me, you’ll be better off that way.

I heard they're going to make Kight Rider into a movie. And if it was a boat, would "goliath" be a tanker?

That was nothing. No "terrorist" crack, no swearing, nothing. And I hate those customers who barge into an ongoing customer transaction. One of the few exceptions to this rule is fast-food when an order is wrong and the customer wants it corrected.

Become a maid at Rush Limbaugh's house. I'm sure he's got some left over. Or go to a doctor.

• Well today was one of those days where I had to go into the office early at 7 a.m. Then it was off to a quarterly board meeting at 9 a.m. that didn’t get out until 3 p.m. Then it was back to the office where I stayed until 10:30 p.m. working on stuff (including this entry ). While many people hate to work weekends, I don’t really mind it. Hell, for most of my life working weekends was considered the norm. But what I really like about working Saturdays now is that I’m by myself in the building. This means no phone calls to deal with, no bosses giving me assignments that they will never get around to doing anything with, no rush-hour traffic to navigate when driving home, and no golf shirt and Dockers (although I’d rather wear these kind of clothes than jeans, there’s nothing quite like wearing shorts while typing at your work station). Also, because I’m not a salaried employee these eight non-meeting work hours mean comp time, which I’ll be taking off sometime this week or next week. Here’s a tip for my fellow hourly employees; when you work the extra hours, don’t keep them around; use them ASAP. And don't forget to write down the times you came in early or stayed late. The reason for this is if you wait a while to take that three-day weekend, your boss will strangely forget the extra work you performed. It’s amazing how bosses forget things like the 16-hour workday you put in or how you worked a 50-hour workweek. I learned that lesson the hard way a few years ago at this place, which really pissed me off because I'm usually pretty good at keeping documentation of what I do. After working four days out-of-state where my workday always began at 5-6 a.m. and finished at 1-2 a.m., I was “fortunate” enough to get ONE FUCKING COMP DAY out of the whole thing. Oh, and this was around the time when I was moving into my house back in ’04. So instead of having three days to comfortably get situation in the biggest purchase of my life, I got to do several days' worth of moving in one 24-hour period. But onto happier stuff: Whenever I decided to take a day off from work, I prefer it to be a Monday. Most people I know like having Fridays off, but I’d rather stay up late on Sunday night (especially if it's football season) and enter the workweek with only four more days to go until the next weekend. • I know NOTHING about this hippie Da Vinci Code. The only think I’ve heard about this book and the resulting movie is that it’s supposed to show us how Jesus had a wife or something. I don’t care about this stupid premise, but I’ll play along. No matter what “proof” is out there, there’s no way Jesus was knocking boots with the Mary chick (not his mom mind you, but the other one with the funky last name). My proof for this? If Jesus was married, he wouldn’t have been saying shit like “Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?” while on the cross. Like any married man, he’d be saying, “Come on, God, kill me now! Damnit, now she’s nagging me about dripping blood onto my clothes and how these stains won’t come out in the wash. Now you're letting me live to hear her bitch about how I never listen to what she has to say? You really are a cruel God!” Then again I could be all wrong; maybe Jesus was hitched. After all, it’s not like he stuck around here on earth to hang with his disciples after he was resurrected. He probably wanted to get the hell off the planet since the morning after he did the deed with Mary M. • If the people of New Orleans re-elect Ray Nagin as their mayor, then I hope Pat Roberston really does have some inside info as to what kind of havoc God will wreak on us as a nation.

[joke mode on]It's not. Women don't iron anymore now that Pedro is willing to do so for a quarter per hour. Why their husbands bother to pay for people to perform housework when they have perfectly fine wives to do so is beyond me.[/joke mode off]

Probably depends on how many black people live in the area.

Yeah. Good job, Genius.

• So one of the better half's friends works at a day care center. Actually, her dad owns the place, however, he pays his daughter about $15k to run it, and by run it I mean oversee just about every responsibility out there. On top of that he charges her rent to live in the basement of his house. I love this man. Anyway, Mrs. kkk just told me that every year her friend holds a PRESCHOOL GRADUATION CEREMONY for the little brats in her center. A PRESCHOOL GRADUATION CEREMONY. I'm not sure if this includes the ol' cap and gown, but in this day and age who the hell knows. Anyway, a big brouhaha by the parents took place when it was revealed that each kid was only allowed three tickets. I don't know what's worse: PRESCHOOLERS having a GRADUATION CEREMONY, or parents pissed off because they can only have three people attend this thing. Believe it or not, I actually have a memory of my PRESCHOOL GRADUATION CEREMONY. What did I do? My mom picked me up and I was driven home. Another memory I have is taking some kid's coloring picture and scribbling it up. One of the teachers saw me do this, yelled at me and when I took my coloring picture up to show her she said that she didn't like it. I think my preschool had naptime, but all I remember is laying on the floor. • I was just flipping through the channels and came across one of the 20 Jesus channels on my cable lineup. Normally I just skip over these stations, but for the brief moment this station was on my television I saw the words, "Mike Sweeny." Mike Sweeny of the Kansas City Royals? I put the clicker down. There's this hippie interview show with some friar interviewing Sweeny. Good lord is this guy a Jesus freak. The most memorable experience of his life was his high school confirmation weekend retreat where he found Jesus Christ? Oh man. HA -- he just said that his high school team won the state championship because they prayed together, and teams that pray together win together. I'll take this time out now to let you make your own joke about his team's current situation. • Once a week the better half and I go grocery shopping. Now many of you know that if I don't have a coupon for something and it's not on sale, then I don't get it. Mrs. kkk, on the other hand, has no sense of fiscal responsibility, which explains why she's up to her eyeballs in debt. Anyway, she was called in to her second job at the pizza place on the day we normally shop for groceries, which left me in charge. I swear to Christ I'm as bad as a valley girl at the mall when it comes to grocery shopping by myself. To top it off, chicken and steaks were buy one get one free this week. After much coupon selecting and sale item pricing, my $131.86 bill went down to $70.15. Score one for the cheapskate this round. • Instead of shooting them, shouldn’t we be encouraging these people to get out of the United States? Either way, I think the Mexican goverment should be concerned with the way they treat their guests south of the border before telling us what to do with ours. • Only community services? These people should be dragged out and shot for what they did. Oh, and my favorite part of the story is in bold, especially since one night back when we were living in Ohio JJ got outside at 2 a.m. when I went to put a letter in the nearby mailbox (don't ask) and the better half found him the next morning by the backdoor crying – I’m surprised he even figured that much out. Don't fuck with a cat that has "Mr." in his name.

The funny thing about the last season or two of NYPD Blue was that I found it quite enjoyable. There really wasn't a regular character on there I disliked. I also liked the way they wrapped up the series with Andy as the boss and everyone saying "good night" to him one last time. My only gripe is that Medavoy's "retirement" was anti-climatic, but then again he gets to make more money and bang a hot real estate chick, so I don't think he cares if there was no traditional "bar send-off."

Who was your favorite Andy Sipowicz pairing? Caruso, Smits, Silvers Spoon, or Saved by the Bell? And Medavoy was my n*gga.

This thread is about what kind of computers we have, not steal. You big silly.