kkktookmybabyaway

I haven't watched Beck's show every night, but I've enjoyed it so far. However, I think if I watched it five times a week I might change my mind. I have no idea what the Da Vinci Code is about, nor do I care. All I've heard is that it deals with Jesus and him getting some poon, or something like that. That's all I want to know.

Thanks, Al, for the Angels history. No, because you'd still have to install Masterlocks on all the lockers in the showers. And I'm sure Mexicans aren't totally banned -- someone has to mow the greens.

• I love so-called experts on television. Sure the political ones are stupid because every little thing that happens in Washington, D.C., spells DOOM for one group of politicians and VICTORY for the other group of politicians. And what a shock: usually, it’s the party that the taking head is affiliated with that can do no wrong. The only thing worse than these nimrods are the sports “experts.” I remember a week or so ago when the New Jersey Nets beat the Miami Heat in Game 1 of the NBA Eastern Conference Semi-Finals that it was gloom and doom for the Heat. Even when Miami won Game 2 it didn’t matter because New Jersey now had the HOME COURT ADVANTAGE. So what did Miami do after this Game 1 loss? They proceeded to win the next four, beating the Nets in five games. • Speaking of basketball, this is a weird postseason for me. I’m not really a “fan” of a team in any league, but once the playoffs start I’ll tune in and cheer for one or two teams. If they lose, it’s no big deal, and if they win, yay, I guess. For example, back in the 2002 MLB playoffs I was pulling for the California/Anaheim/Whatever-They-Were-Called-Back-Then Angels. There was no real reason for this; I just liked their team and some of the players. If they had lost to whoever they played (Bored, Alkeiper, help me out there) I would have found some way to go on. However, I must say that when the World Series started I was really pulling for the Angels, but that was because I didn’t want Barry Bonds to win a ring, along with Racist Dusty getting another championship under his belt. Oh, yeah. And I laughed at the end of Game 7 when Racist Dusty’s brat was crying after his dad lost the big game. Anyway, this year I’m in a bit of a pickle because I don’t know who I want to win in the NBA playoffs. I like the Pistons as a team, but I’m also a LeBron James fan. I also have no reason to hate the Shaq/Wade tandem, too. Over in the West I’ve pulled for the Spurs over the last few years, but also I think it’d be nice to see the Mavs or Suns to finally make to the Finals. Who should I pull for this year? I have no idea. Oh, and in the NHL I've been pulling for the Oilers since they went up on Detroit in the first round and the Hurricanes since the second round. • Here is some more post-election stuff. Although nothing too exciting happened in my district, a few bigwigs in the Republican Party got beat in some of the more conservative sections of the state. Good. If you’re a member of a political party, you should focus more on your party’s primary rather than the general election. I can hear it now, “OMG you’re a Party hack!” Yeah, so what? Look, I may not like Arlen Specter as my U.S. Senator, but who am I going to vote for: a Liberal Republican or a Liberal, period? If I want a Republican out of office, I’ll get it done in the primary election; I’m not going to vote for someone I feel would be even worse in the general election. Now that’s not to say I will always vote Republican for Congress or President, but I doubt I’ll be voting Democrat anytime soon when it comes to the National level. • You know what? In a normal world this would probably be worthy of my scorn, but fuck it; I salute you, sir. If you bitches want to protest outside of Augusta National come Master’s time because it’s an all-male club then no free baseball gloves or reduced drinks for you. Here’s a note to you feminazis: Not everything should be open to both sexes. You think a guy wants to hear his nagging wife or some other broad when he’s out on the golf course? Even though I’m not a golfer, I can imagine what playing 18 holes would be like when you’re being badgered each time you try to make a putt. “Why didn’t you do the dishes?” “Did you take the dog out for a walk?” “Do you know what your son did today?” “Oh no, I broke a nail with that chip shot!” To Augusta I say don’t budge an inch.

Only thing better than Wal-Mart customers are Wal-Mart employees. Great stories, Massito.

Nobody ever said being a Professional Otaku was a high-paying job. Oh, I don't get Sci-Fi but have G4.

And ripped. That is why I don't make fun of him. Out of fear. Also, people who don't like the opposing political party in charge say/do mean things to them? Get out of here.

And some people think I have no social skills. Yesterday afternoon after work I drove to the emergency vet place to pick up Max, who was rushed there Sunday. When I got there I sat down and waited for them to check Max out. Now I normally don’t have good experiences at vet places when it comes to speedy service. But then again, if my cat was in trouble, I wouldn’t want some putz bitching at the front desk telling the vets to hurry it up and wait on him and his dog Fluffy. Anyway, I sat down at one end of the waiting room, and this lady was at the other end holding her kitty. Everything was fine and dandy for about 10-15 minutes, and then the ghetto family showed up with “Coco,” which was some poor dog who got stuck living with this group of misfits. Now it’s no secret that I hate children, and this bunch had four of them. However, as long as the brats are well behaved, I can tolerate their presence, let alone existence. The problem was that these pieces of mini-trash were screaming, running around and causing an overall disturbance. Did the parents try to calm these heathens down? Of course not. Did they try to get them to settle down and read to them one of the magazines that were nearby? Nope – I have doubts that the adults in this mob knew how to read. After at least 15 minutes of this the one receptionist told me that there was an emergency in the back and the vets couldn’t finalize the paperwork to give Max back to me. “No problem,” I replied. I then asked for a pen and piece of paper. I then scribbled down the following: “It’s a shame we have to carry our pets in carriers wherever we go, but yet children are allowed to roam free.” A few minutes later when the receptionist wasn’t answering the phone or talking to customers, I slipped her my note. She burst out laughing and had to run in the back and try to get some control over herself. After a few minutes, more laughter from different people was heard in the back office and when she returned to her desk she nodded toward me and said, “So true.” After dropping Max off at home, I went out to vote. Now I said earlier that Pennsylvania recently got rid of its old voting machines in favor of computerized screens. When I went into the polling station, I got ready for another ribbing over my party affiliation. The last time I voted in the primary season, the volunteers, who are mostly Democrats, do their best to make me feel at home. One example of this hospitality is when they scream to each other across the room, “We have a Republican here!” Today was no exception as I signed my name to the register book. There was one old lady working there who was a Republican, and I know this because the grumpy old man at this place said “He’s your kind, so you show him how these machines work.” After being shown the ins and outs of these devices and entering my votes (Santorum, Swann, and some local school board people) I was walking toward the exit and told her that I thought these machines were unnecessary and frivolous. She agreed with me and then I remarked, “Hopefully it’ll make many of the Democrat voters think they’re voting for Rendell or Casey when they’re actually voting for Pat Buchanan; we need all the help we can get this year.” That line didn’t go over well with the rest of the poll workers there, but that’s just what makes saying stuff like this more fun. As I left the station, I met some young guy who was running for State Representative on the Independent ticket and was looking for signatures. I put my signature down for him and we talked a bit. Even if I don’t support a candidate or referendum, I’ll still put my name down for them if asked. My opinion is that even though I don’t agree with the issue/person I think they have a right to be voted on by the public. My only exception to this rule would be if the measure I’m being asked to sign always got voted down in the general election. For example, if I got approached to sign some paper to support getting a measure on an election ballot that would make gay marriage legal, I’d sign. And when the voters by a margin of 80 percent to 20 percent shoot down the measure, I’ll laugh. Now if these same hippies still tried getting this stupid idea on the ballot for the next 10 years, then I’ll refuse to sign their signature sheet. You lost, get over it. Do what every good activist does – get a red diaper doper baby to make it whatever lamebrain idea they want to impose on an unsuspecting public legal.

Wha-? Ripper's broke?

But why did it take so long for it to come out -- perhaps because they were making it up?

Sorry about your friends. When I get pissed like that I grab a pillow and start punching the shit out of it -- it's better than a wall.

Well today I get to become disenfranchised because it’s primary season in Pennsylvania. A while back the state got rid of its outdated, RACIST voting machines in favor of high-tech video screens that aren’t quite ready for use yet. Oh, this should be fun. I voted in two separate precincts during my stays in Pennsylvania and each time I used the lever machines. They were nice and efficient. You walk into the booth and pull the big handle. This makes the curtains close behind you and enables you to work the rest of the levers. For every candidate you support you push their little lever. If you, say, voted for Bush but wanted to change your vote to Kerry, you had to reset Bush’s lever before yanking on America’s Vietnam War Hero. When you were done with all your voting, you pulled the big lever again to register all your selections. Simple enough. Now I get to stand next to some machine that will probably remind me of when I took my driving license test, and if something doesn’t look right I get to have the 90-year olds who are manning the polls provide tech support. Hell, I might pretend to be confused just to see grandma get up and try to reboot the system or thumb through the machine’s how-to guide (along with bitching about how small the type is in the booklet). There’s really no reason for me to vote in the primaries this year. My State Representative is a Democrat, so I can’t vote against him as an act of protest for the whole pay-raise debacle that took place last year. Even though my Rep didn’t vote for the pay hike, and I’ve voted for this Dem in a previous election, I’m considering voting for whoever runs against him in the general election just to say, “Fuck you bitches – vote yourself a pay raise and I’ll vote for whoever is running against the incumbent.” Around these parts, some people call this “voting for the gorilla.” Anyway, I figure this will be a nice tune-up for the general election that’s going to come in about six months. I’ll find out how to vote for Rick Santorum, who is probably running unopposed, or against a bunch of wackos I’ve never heard of before, and pray that the normally stupid constituents that make up a large portion of the Democrat Party think they're voting for Bob Casey Jr. when in fact they're endorsing Pat Buchanan come November. Speaking of voting against incumbents who endorsed giving themselves a raise, there's a bitch in Beaver County named Mike Veon who not only voted for our state's most recent pay increase, but also defended his actions. Well, he defended it as much as one can without going to the media and explain himself. The funny thing is he's up against some nobody with a shoestring budget and the polls, last time I checked, indicate a close race. Veon, who long has been a popular Democrat Representative in a heavily Democrat area, is advertising on television, which tells me he's sweating a bit. And just to show that I’m not being partisan on this issue, I’m hoping for a few bitch-ass Republicans to bit the bullet in the primary season as well, especially since both branches of Congress in Pennsylvania are “controlled” by Republicans (although it’s hard to tell considering they bend over every time Governor Ed Rendell unzips his pants.

Are the people you're bringing back going to work at a reduced rate from what they earned before getting canned? And tomorrow should be interesting. My one idiot boss should be back from a weeklong vacation and his workplace mantra is, "Well that's what the last minute is for." Thank God I work two floors away from just about everyone else.

At least the Indians won something from those teams in the '90s they had.

• Since message boards and blogs were meant for stupid lists of “favorite” and “not-so-favorite” things, coming soon will be KKK’s Top 103 Posters. A list so exciting, so heart-stopping, so utterly magnificent in production value that you will tune in two, or maybe even three, times to relive the drama and intrigue over and over and over again. Well, maybe not three “overs” because that would mean you tuned in four times … eh, you get the idea. • All I can say is thank God for vacation time/sick days. This morning as I was getting ready for work I was thinking to myself, “Do you really have to do this today?” Of course this week I have a lot of projects due, but I’m one of those saps that likes to get things done ahead of time so I don’t end up running around like a chicken with its head cut off at the last minute trying to get a bunch of pisspoor work turned in. In addition, I get a certain amount of vacation days per year, and they have to be used up by December 31 or else I lose them. Now while many people at my place of employment choose to use a bunch up for a week or two off, I prefer to spread mine around. After all, why take a week off when you’ll end up having to work twice as hard for a week once you get back to work and have finish up the stack of assignments that were put on your desk while you were out and about? But I digress. As I was making my morning commute I was right on schedule at around the 10- to 15-minute mark of my daily workweek drive. However, that’s when everything came to a literal grinding halt. I take Route 30 West, which passes by an Interstate Highway. I don’t go on I-376 West but it’s a nice marker to gauge my commute time. Well, about several miles before the Interstate exit, traffic was at a standstill in a place where it shouldn’t be. With the pouring rain, the better half and I figured this gridlock was probably due to an accident. The time was 6:15 a.m.; we were running a little behind schedule, but nothing serious. The time then became 6:20, then 6:30, then 6:40, and we haven’t moved an inch. Well, to be fair, we did move up a little bit, but that was because motorists in front of me were turning around and driving away. In addition, I was looking a few traffic lights down at this big white truck and noticed that during all this time it hadn’t moved an inch due to the traffic. It was now 6:55 and there was no sign of any vehicles in front of me moving forward. In addition, the traffic reports from a variety of radio stations weren’t mentioning anything about this backup, probably because it wasn’t on an Interstate – damn liberal media bias. Anyway, as a few more vehicles did U-Turns and high-tailed it out of there I was faced with a dilemma: Stay the course or turn around. The reason this became an issue was because if I were to move up I’d be away from the four-way intersection I was next to and unable to turn around if I felt like doing so. I figured it’s days like this that vacation days are made for, I turned around and headed back home. As I was driving back I took a look at the traffic that accumulated behind me up since I began waiting, and quite a lot of fossil fuel was wasted on this day. Another reason I decided to stay home was that an additional accident took place on a road that I have to take to get to work. For those familiar with the Shittsburgh, area, an accident on the Fort Pitt Bridge was bringing outbound traffic to a standstill, and this accident was first reported at 6:30. By 8 a.m. it still hadn’t cleared and traffic was limited to just one lane. Sometimes the Gods make it apparent they don’t want you to work on a certain day, and who am I to question them?

Mine is just straight purple like how they actually are on the Transformer...all that other stuff wouldn't show up right on my skin... Why? The whole Black ink/white skin effect would have been good.

Oh, the tattoo thread. I haven't checked that out yet.

What brought this on?

Even though I like the Jays back then I didn't know any of their players. Like I've said before, that bird was just so darn cute. I knew Stieb was a good picture and all, but by the time I actually started following players/stats/etc., his best days were over. EDIT: Oh, and I have that Quis' Purina photo; it's one of my all-time favorite pictures.

• Well today sucked hard. Not because there was some crack-whore meltdown at the in-laws annual Mother’s Day dining spectacular. In fact, that event was pretty mild, although the stuffed pork chop I ordered left something to be desired. The trouble came earlier in the morning when we had to rush Max to an emergency vet clinic. I mentioned in a previous entry that Max had been fighting a urinary tract infection, and we had him on some medication which seemed to be working. However, we then noticed he was having difficulty going to the bathroom. We took him to the vet again and they told us to change his diet and put him on another type of medication for a few weeks. Everything had been going well; there was no change in his behavior or in his litter habits. We thought he was over his troubles, but when the better half gave Dessa, JJ and Max their late-night feeding Saturday (we feed them twice a day – early in the morning and right before we go to bed), Max wasn’t all that interested in his food. This morning, his behavior got worse, and when he started crying under our spare bedroom we knew it was time to take him to the vet. The problem was that our regular vet’s office was closed, so we called a local emergency veterinarian hospital and took him there. We knew what the diagnosis was already – he was suffering from blockage in his pee-hole, which is a serious condition for male cats. The vets sedated him and got the grit out, which was causing the obstruction. Fortunately, we got him there early and it looks like he’ll be OK; we should be able to bring him home tomorrow evening. I just thank whoever is up there that there was a 24-hour animal hospital around where I live because I don’t think Max would have made it if we had to wait until late Monday morning/afternoon to get him an appointment at our regular vet’s office. What was scary about all this was that we had been monitoring his behavior ever since he was diagnosed with an infection in early April, and he had always shown no real signs of a problem until late last night. So if you’re a pet owner, don’t hesitate to take your animal to the vet if you think something is wrong – if you don’t, the results can be deadly. Also, even if you have a regular vet and you are happy with his or her work, look around and see if your area has a 24-hour emergency center; you never know when you might need to go there. • Wow. I watched live that overtime goal in the last Sabers/Senators game. I know the NHL tightened up the rules but goddamn, you at least have to make an effort to stop your opponent from waltzing in short-handed and scoring the series-clinching goal. I’m not sure what was worse – that or Lebron James’ game-winning lay-up against several members of the Wizards back in Round 1 of the NBA Playoffs. • This is simply ... awesome.

What scares me about the "steak house" ad which is running now is that the Applebee's people saw the "Gilligan's Island" commercial they produced and thought, "Let's make another ad just like that."

• Yesterday I goofed on a few radio commercials, and today I need to vent about some television ads that are pushing me toward the edge. Now I personally think jewelry is a colossal waste of money and that anyone who buys this over-priced crap is a fool. However, I purchase my share of stupid things, so who am I to judge? Anyway, disagree with me about buying jewelry – that’s fine. But don’t argue with me over how annoying some of the ads promoting this product are. The brand that annoys me the worst is Jared. First off, I had no idea until a year or so ago that there was a jewelry store named after a guy who lost weight eating Veggie Delights. And to make matters worse, Jared’s ads are awful. All they consist of is some chick running around saying, “He went to Jared!” with parents, siblings and jealous friends repeating the line in different tones. The worst of the worst has to be that commercial with the chick at some hippie party getting her panties wet over every ring/earring/necklace she sees, with the other women point to their men and saying, “He went to Jared.” At the end of the commercial this bitch walks up to her husband, who has no clue what’s going on, and drops something in his drink. I hope he beats the ever-loving shit out of her when they get home because she needs it; the only rock she should get is one from the backyard right to her dome. But the people at Jared look like a marketing geniuses next to Kay Jewelers. I don’t care too much of Mother’s Day or Father’s Day because, well, I don’t give two shits about my family. However, I can’t wait for Mother’s Day to arrive because I’m getting ready to turn violent over Kay’s one Mother’s Day-themed ad. It starts out with this guy taking his wife to the garage, where their brats are playing music and singing, “You’re the most awesome mom in the world, happy Mother’s Day.” Christ I haven’t heard a more annoying sound in quite sometime, and what kind of fucked up family would do something like this? The gang that lives a house or two down from me symbolizes more what a typical family is like. It was around midnight earlier this week when I got to hear that family talk about how the mother found a stash of drugs in the one son’s room. I wish Kay would make a song from the lyrics I heard that night: “I fucking hate you you fucking twat and I can’t wait until I leave this fucking place!” Oh, yeah. All together now: “Happy Mother’s Day!” • Speaking of Mother’s Day, tomorrow I get to partake in a tradition the better half’s family had engaged in for years. Every Mother’s Day the in-laws gather up the family and we go to some restaurant. I’m not complaining. After all, it’s a free meal, and the entertainment will be provided courtesy of the crack-whore sister-in-law. Hopefully she won’t be totally doped up and start a fight with someone there. I also think that this will be the first time she will be near the better half since our wedding last June; a wedding where she stormed out of the church and caused one of those magical family moments that you just treasure for the rest of your life. Oh, and for the record, the person who stormed out was the crack-whore, not Mrs. kkk, although you couldn’t blame her since she was marrying me. Hopefully there will be some action tomorrow and I’ll be able to have tomorrow’s entry write itself with minimal effort.

After watching that, I hope the Yanks now go out and get Man-Ram.

Racist Dusty tops this list? This guy knows what he's talking about.

Not smiling? And people bothered to to tell mangers about that? Christ almighty. Strap me in, keep the line moving and I'll be happy. (Well that sound just a bit gay.) Have you ever dealt with an asshole customer over their kid not being big enough to ride a roller coaster?

So where are the bad racist jokes? Those were great!