The Amazing Rando

the team name will of course be the "All-American Males"

^ I don't even wanna know. I really really don't.

*applauds* and I thought *I* was deep... you need a floatation device. good to see the boss bringing the promo-age back into the boards. (Y)

damn. Not sure if that beats those 1100 word headlocks though.

That thing is a little too rigid to be riding a Cock...strider. Not a very good ride at all. Should at least be rocking back and forth or swiveling the hips or something. And it needs music. "The Cockstrider Theme"

I didn't see this whole list...but seeing those bands mentioned on the list already piss me off. Someone should injure the people who made the list.

If this show doesn't get a true finale... i'm going to kill someone. Possibly many people. In very disgusting gruesome ways. After stepping on rakes.

"Tell Me A Lie" --- you know, that song from when HBK "retired" ...yeah.... I'd so use that.

HOW CAN THAT BE??!!!

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE BOUT SINGLES MATCH Charlie "Grappler" Matthews© vs "The Notorious" John Duran ~Matthews LADDER MATCH Ann "Ichiban" Onita vs "The Superior One" Tom Flesher ~Flesher LAST MAN STANDING MATCH Nathaniel Kibagami vs Alex Zenon ~YIKES. ICTV/TAG TEAM/HARDCORE TITLE BOUT TRIPLE QUADRUPLE MATCH Wild & Dangerous© vs The In Crowd vs Aecas and Janus© vs Toxxic© and Liston ~ I wouldn't mind seeing Aecas and Janus holding all the gold, but I don't think a marker would like that. I expect at least one belt to change hands though, most likely the tag titles. Look for Toxxic to keep his belt, only for Janus to KILL Toxxic and use his lifeless body to knock out W&D for the tag straps. USJL TITLE BOUT SINGLES MATCH Coy "Wild" West© vs Todd Royal ~ in this situation, I back West. EMPTY ARENA MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix vs Alan Clark ~ just wait and see folks...wait and see. SINGLES MATCH Edward James vs Crow ~ Please...someone write!! SINGLES MATCH "La Sensation Senegalaise" Said vs Tryst ~ Said. SINGLES MATCH Stryke vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins ~ Please...someone write! HARDCORE MATCH Austin Sly vs Insane Luchadore ~ draw after insane blood loss.

DATE: April 20th, 2004 TIME: 11:52 PM It is nearly midnight in Monument Valley. A place that reaches triple digit temperatures during the day is cast in darkness and cold isolation after dusk. It seems as though there is no living thing around for miles, but alas…one man walks alone in the distance. His shadow seems haunting on the horizon as he moves closer and closer to the still camera, and he walks with a purpose through the desolate night air. The shadow moves closer, getting only a few feet from the camera. The entire picture is shrouded in silence, and the aura seems so calming and serene. But in the shadow lies Alan Clark, and inside of him an aura glows that could light the night sky into the brightest it has ever been. But Alan is slow to talk. He takes his time sitting down on the barren rock floor and peers up into the night sky. He stays like this for a few moments, his breathing heard as it grows heavier and deeper, almost as if something is stuck on his mind. Without making any eye contact with the camera in front of him, Alan finally begins to speak. “Monument Valley. They say it is a place where gods walk and mortals dare not tread. But they do. They come here to gaze upon the magnificence that lurks in the darkness behind me. Towering masses that demand your attention and your respect as they have stayed in these spots for hundreds and thousands of years. The only things that can hurt them are the wind and the rain that erode them and break them down. One day they will be nothing, but for now they stand as beings that are almost too good for our eyes to behold.” Alan continues to speak, but takes his time looking at his surroundings. “As I saw these structures, I could not help but be reminded of my opponent for Sunday. Landon, I see you in these rocks. I see someone who looks out over the world and demands attention and respect. I see someone who looks at himself and thinks that he is going to be around forever. You wish you could be around forever, don’t you Landon?” Alan pauses for just a moment before answering himself. “Everyone does. Everyone wants to be a legend. Everyone wants to be remembered as the greatest, as the best, and the most influential. But when I feel the wind rushing through this valley, I am reminded of a different person. I am reminded of Todd Royal.” Alan’s eyes return to the camera with these words, and he seems to grow more intense with nostalgia. “Do you see where I am going with this, Landon? You once were truly a monument in the sport of professional wrestling. I would talk to fans and they would ask me if you are just as good a person backstage as you were in front of the world. And I would tell them the same thing every single time. Yes. Yes, Landon Maddix is a great person, and a person I respect and enjoy working with. I would say this with absolutely no hesitation. But soon the winds would come in the form of Todd Royal. He thought he could get to me. He thought he could destroy what I have worked all my life for. He thought that he could undermine me and make me give up.” Alan pauses once more, taking a deep breath before continuing. “But he got to you instead. Last Fall, you had the brightest future ahead of you. But you were swayed. You never considered yourself the best. You never thought for one second that you would ever win the big one. You looked down on yourself. You became the sand I walk on, completely eroded away from what you once were.” Alan is on his feet now, and walks outside of the view of the steady camera, but his voice is heard ringing clear as he comes back into frame, pacing back and forth, looking to the camera on and off and he speaks. “When you first came in to the Junior Leagues, you went on a streak of winning matches that was similar to what was put forth by our own current World Champion, Charlie Matthews. You defeated everyone, and even when the losses came, you got right back up. But look at you now. You went from being famous, to being unnamed. You went from being a role model to hiding in the shadows. You took your own legacy and destroyed it because you thought it was the right thing to do. You let the wind push you over and drag you into obscurity. You are a shell of your former self.” Alan stops, near the left of the screen, he drops his head and looks to the camera. “How will you be remembered now? Will you be remembered as the last Junior League Champion? I’m sure in some circles you will. I can not deny that. But when fans look at you now, they do not see that champion. They see a Disciple of Todd. They see a man that gave up his name to walk under the name of another. You truly are the epitome of what the Unnamed is about, Landon. Sometimes, when I look into your eyes…when I stand across from you in that ring…I don’t see your name either. I don’t see your face or your soul. I see the face of Todd Royal inside you, guiding you like a simple puppet. He used his words to gain your dependence, but it’s time you realize that actions speak louder than words.” Alan leans down, picking up a rock off the sand. He turns away from the camera and tosses it into the shadows. With his back turned and the wind blowing past him, he continues. “I have spoken a lot lately, using my words to give you insight on exactly what goes through my head when I watch tapes of that last match in the Gund Arena. I use my words to help you understand…and listen closely…that on Sunday I’m going to beat you until those puppet strings are broken. I’m going to beat you until the wind has no affect on you.” Alan is facing the camera once more, moving closer and closer with each word. “I’m going to beat you until the Landon Maddix I used to know comes back. And after I am finished and you lay nearly unconscious on the cold cement at Battleground…I’ll see that trademark smile looking up at me and I’ll hear your voice whisper…” Alan’s face is now almost completely against the screen, his eyes burning and his mouth a smile as he talks… “Thank you, Alan Clark, thank you.” Alan’s smile turns to a smirk, and he backs away, stretching out his arms as he turns and walks into the distance. He takes a few turns in his walk, looking back toward the camera as the distance grows. “And just before you slip into unconsciousness, I will make sure the last image you see is that of Alan Clark turning his back on you, just as you did to everyone else last December. I will make sure that your eyes stay open and your mind can completely understand what it is like to be alone and empty instead, just as we will be together in that arena on Sunday. Your life will be changed, Landon. Your life as you know it will never be the same again…” Alan is nothing but a shadow in the distance now, but a question and answer remain… “And do you know how I know this?” “Do you?” “Because I am guided by a force much greater than Todd.”

***1/2 stars was better than what i was expecting, Dace... and **** for a promo... w00t.

Thanks for the love on teh hype promo, Dace. Took me a good bit of time to work all the kinks out of and to give it the feel I wanted. And about Todd...I *did* see him on the boards yesterday, for a little while too. But I am unsure about his showingness (as I didn't see him on AIM all day)

my god.... Pinky is a champion again.

DUH. Just like Taker still hangs out with Paul Bearer even though the guy FUCKED HIS MOTHER. well...Taker did kill his mom...so all is good and even now. Point taken. Bearer also brought Taker's brother out of hiding after being hideiously scarred emotionally by fucking burning dead people with his not so emotionally scarred manhood...or something.

That was wrong on so many levels...but still funny. You get a gold star. Where did Gail go? I didn't even see her run away. Gail is from Korea...not Japan. (see..that crossed the line. I apoligize)

DUH. Just like Taker still hangs out with Paul Bearer even though the guy FUCKED HIS MOTHER.

Gail Kim was vaporized in the fire...or something

NO! TURN FACE LATER! KILL LITA NOW! FACE TURN LATER! FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!

YESSSS!!

Matt Hardy is idolized in plastic.

and Val plays the face.

Lita needs to be Kane's sacrifice now... pretty please.

Face Doink was never said to be "special"

"Benoit's title win had heart...but T-shirt to the groin had t-shirt to the groin..."