The Amazing Rando

I would carry Bob Barron around in my pocket, or have him dance and make clothing for me like one of the mice from Cinderella. I could also list a great deal of serious answers to the question asked by this thread, but the image of Bob hastily rushing around my house with a needle and thread and munching on a skittle the size of his upperbody makes me giggle uncontrollably.

one question.... is this outdoors????

Who knows, Landon... the "final" chapter of ye olde long ass feud may actually be for cruiser gold. Who the fuck knows.

sonofabitch... I read your PM as Aecas TAKING the shot... d'oh. oh well...I guess it all worked out in the end.

Editted for ego.

My name is Amaz.in.Grand.o

Have A Magical Day.

OOC: So, I became a bit distracted and couldn't get my promo in...so I modified it into something that seems to take place before Storm would come on the air. Or whatever. Just read it...and I apoligize for it being late. --------------- The Storm ring is lit up more than usual before the show gets underway …and there seems to have a lovely new addition in the form of a large podium. The crowd murmurs with anticipation as to why exactly the podium has been placed in the ring, but soon all becomes apparent… …as there is a storm on the horizon. With thunder and lightning crashing over the soothing sounds of acoustic guitar, the crowd gets on their feet in unison, looking toward the entranceway. Finally, with one word, he arrives. “…smile.” The hard driving beats replace the sounds of thunder, and the arena goes into a frenzy as Alan Clark steps through the curtain and into the aisle. This seems to be no ordinary Alan Clark, as he is clad in a suit and tie, and carrying a book at his side, walking slowly to the ring, pausing to say a few words to the fans and shaking hands before stepping up the stairs and through the ropes. Alan walks to the center of the ring and behind the podium as the music fades out to nothingness and the crowd begins to calm down, wondering what Clark will say. “Ladies and Gentlemen. I stand before you a changed man! I stand before you a revitalized soul! I stand before you a new Alan Clark…and I have only one man to thank for it all…” Alan pauses, leaving the crowd wondering for a few seconds as he takes a deep breath. “Landon Maddix…” The name causes boos to ring out, but Alan throws up his hands, telling the sold-out arena to let him continue. “You see Landon, all day today I have had people come to me and ask me why I thanked you after our match. They ask me why I would show you any kind of respect. Now I would like to tell the world what I told all of those people. I did it because it’s the truth. I do thank you, Landon Maddix. I would even go so far as to say that I respect you! Do you know why that is? Because win or lose, no matter what, today you are the same as you wear last week – nothing more than a simple Disciple. An unnamed man hiding underneath the thoughts and wishes of another. I respect you because even though, deep down, you knew that my words rang true…you still went tooth and nail with me in that empty arena. You still tore me up, bloodied my face, even tried to take me out with my own moves…but in the end you failed. I didn’t want to beat you, Maddix. I didn’t want to leave you unconscious in that ring as I did. But I felt it was my duty to do show. I can only hope when you woke up that you saw the light in the distance. I only hope that you saw the truth. But if you haven’t…if you still are stuck in the shadows, if you are still hiding behind a wall built by that false idol Todd Royal…then I have something to share with you…” Alan holds the book high above his head, showing it to the world as he speaks… “The Book of Clark!” The crowd roars with approval of Alan’s flawless and extremely quick publishing capabilities, and Alan goes back to speaking, book still in the air. “Yes, Landon…the Book of Clark! No longer will you have to suffer. No longer will people refer to you as a Disciple. They will see you as I saw you last November. They will see you as someone to be respected and looked up to. I hope with time that you come to your senses…I hope that when you looked into my eyes over the weekend that you saw the truth. Step away from Todd’s grasp and his egotistical ways…come with me…to the Clark Side!” Alan stops as the arena erupts in bursts of laughter, and he can’t help but smile. “Okay, I’m sorry…that was so corny.” Alan starts once more, “I apologize. The truth is, I don’t care what you do anymore Landon. I went into Battleground to prove a point, and in that arena we proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Alan Clark and the Book of Clark is above the House of Todd and all it represents. I took Royal’s JL championship in December, and a few days ago I took your conscious thought in one blow. I left you lying just as I said I would. I will leave you now with one thought…maybe Landon Maddix is bowing down and kissing the feet of the wrong person.” Alan winks into the camera, pausing as the crowd again erupts in cheers. “Moving on, the other question I received throughout the week has been what Alan Clark plans to do next. I have thought about it long and hard, but I really do not know. I will go ever my Book takes me, the highs and the lows, …working to create a legacy that all of my Clark Marks can be proud of. I know some of you look up to me now, and I want to tell you to stop looking up to me. I am just one man, a simple professional wrestler, an entertainer – You are the ones that come and pay your hard-earned money to see me risk my body and my mind night in and night out. For that, I should be looking up to you. You made Alan Clark what he is today. You make each of the wrestlers in the back what they are. Even Landon Maddix…I’m sure he can come out here and say that it was you, the fans, which made him turn his back. But most of all, I’m sure that the next time I see him backstage or in this ring…or even on the street…that he will shake my hand and thank me just as I said he would last week. He will look into my eyes and simply say…Thank you, Alan Clark…Thank you…” With those last words, Alan steps away from the podium and turns to face the crowd, who stay somewhat silent as he puts his head down and walks out of the ring. He is accompanied by no music…just his footsteps hitting the ground as he walks to the curtain, pausing for just a moment to look back out over the crowd and hold the Book high above his head once more. He smiles once more before disappearing backstage.

Congratulations, Taamo. now go get seriously drunk if you haven't started already.

I live in Western Maryland...and these are for my home county: You MUST be from Allegany County if: 1. Your idea of a traffic jam is the entrance to Walmart. ~ meh. 2. "Vacation" means going to Hershey or Deep Creek Lake for the weekend. ~ not me, but others. 3. You measure distance in hours. ~ yep. 4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once. ~ yep. 5. You often switch from heat to "A/C" in the same day. ~ Ooooooklahoma. But yeah, i've done it. 6. You use a down comforter in the summer. ~ not me. 7. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph thru 13 ft. of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching. ~ not mine, but others. 8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events. ~ yep. 9. You install security lights on your house & garage & leave both unlocked. ~ we don't, i know people that do though 10. You carry jumper cables in your car & your wife knows how to use them. ~ i'm not married, but everybody knows how to use fucking jumper cables 11. You think of major food groups as deer meat, fish & McDonalds. ~ yuck...i hate deer and fish. 12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Sheetz. ~ seen it. 13. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. ~ it does snow on Halloween every few years. 14. Driving is better in the winter because potholes are filled with snow. ~ hell yeah 15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks & flannel pajamas. ~ i'm not THAT bad. 16. You know four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and 4th of July. ~ basically. 17. It takes you 3 hrs to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop & talk to everyone in town. ~ this is my mother. 18. You have been to every bar in town at some time or the other ~ before I was 18 too. 19. You have dined at every restaurant in town at least a dozen times. ~ nah...we're moving up in the world! 20. You call the grocery store a market and the shopping cart a buggy. ~ i do NOT call it a fucking buggy. "market"...sure. 21. You think there is a "t" on the end of once and twice. ~ nope. 22. You know what seasoned lettuce is on a hoagie or steak sub. ~ i know what it is period. fuck hoagies. 23. You either work for the rail road or make near minimum wage. ~ i'll talk near minimum wage to block. 24. You think homecoming is a holiday and actually decorate your house for it. ~ not me, but others. 25. You know what a boss of soda is. ~ no idea. 26. You really think of My Place as a night club. ~ this place is just a crappy bar. 27. You have crossed 3 state lines while driving in a matter of 15 minutes. ~ hell yeah... well... two state lines and three states. though i'm sure if I started in VA, I could go through WV and MD and hit PA in a matter of 45 minutes to an hour. 28. You think Sheetz and Ames end with "iz." ~ hell no. ...but Sheetz fucking RULES. It's like a Wa-was, only about a million times better. I'm sure both those names will go over most heads, but southerns should know it. Sheetz only goes into southern VA.

and that response was?

^ that's my stance on... at the time he was probably doing it in character, but I think it should have been built up that way through the match...with them saying "who is the third man? is there a third man? could it be one of our guys? is it one of our guys?! could it be ___, or ____, or _____?" and then have Heenan pipe in with "It's Hogan...he's such a scumbag" and then have the announcers tear him one so that later when it happened Heenan could have looked like the smart one.

I'm rooting for the return and championship win of El Gran Luchador~!

the Ramones can be considered the first american "punk" band... but you can't deny bands like the Bullocks as one of the first punk bands to get any kind of attention, until they were eclipsed by the Sex Pistols.

You know who he will face... EL... GRAN... LUCHADOR... oh yes... edit: damn you.

it didn't go down your throat...it went under the tongue and then the thumb (on the underside of the chin) and the fingers would clamp together. Try it just a little...it fucking HURTS

i count that... so there. *runs away*

I personally consider Foley using Mr. Socko more of a protection thing than a waste of time. Think about it, by the time he re-became Mankind after being Dude Love in 1998, he no longer had the finger covering that he used for his fingers as the Original version of Mankind. Mr. Socko was that covering's replacement. Yeah...but according to Foley (in his first book) the Mandible Claw couldn't be countered by biting because it just completely shocked the nervous system (a piece of kayfabe that was forgotten kind of quickly, but i always thought it was a great little bit of story and made Mankind a devestating character in that sense) So yeah...I see the point...but it originally wasn't like that, and the covering as just to make his hand looked deformed

I see the 6 sided ring as basically two rings put together... and by that i mean... a 6 sided ring is simply a regular ring with two more half rings stuck to either side. so I don't think it would be a problem for them to find a way to just hook two more halves onto another ring and add two more sets of ring ropes or something.

Well there are alot of silly time-wasting moves out there... Rocky pulling off the elbow pad Foley and the sock GMS and his goggles Sweet Chin Music set-up HHH pausing after getting the arms hooked THE STRAP PULL DOWN~! You could go so far as to say that even when Macho man used to throw his arms up in the air before dropping the elbow. i'm sure i'm forgetting a few...

jesus.... this whole thread and there were THREE MASH references...and I was the first about 2/3rds down the first page... it's like the greatest fucking ending ever... and shit... what about Gilligan's Island?

I always considered the "waiting" to be some badass ego stroking thing... like "i could beat you now, but i'd rather wait and be a dick about it"

i'm pretty sure DDP and Malone won that one. it's like that time Leno tried to wrestle. Oh that Crazy Russo /cue theme song

did I *say* it was a bad smell? You are reading into things.

Pffft...you people and your logic..throwing it around like it means something... They are probably just recycling booking napkins and "two weeks" keeps popping up. /jaded smark. In affect...it is a great idea... and everyone will tune in next week to watch Benoit/HBK... though maybe not Dinsmore/Conway in two weeks unless they can do something to make the fans care... I mean...having him as Bisch's nephew means that heels can not attack him, or they would face the bosses wrath...so it's really hard to make people care about that match... cause he's (in affect) a FACE with HEEL backing. That's just fucking odd. That's like if the Jericho that is around right now had Paul Heyman for a manager.