Toshiaki Koala

*Reads match again* HAHAHAHA! The bell comes after a pin attempt. Awesome!

It's true, though.

I was considering saying, in my promo, "men like Toshiaki Kawada and Shinobu Kandori," but Kandori is somewhat more obscure than Aja, as well as more feminine and not so great a worker.

Ouch! Surely there is a nicer way of putting it than that... Anyway, I'm too lazy to post a lot of comments, but I'd like to say that the main event was one of the best matches I've read since arriving here. Sooooo intense - my heart was actually pounding in my chest, as much as it embarasses me to admit it. Funny how just last night I was talking about how matches should have more finger work... And the opening promo was sheer brilliance. And yes, men like Aja Kong.

A whole promo resulting from something I wrote in a match. I feel so important! It's teh intensity, too.

Is this a joke or something? What the hell is view-spamming?

I would cut her head off and then fuck her. But then, that's what I usually do.

Nippon Budokan? This show must feature a cameo by Danny Williams! ... Oh, right.

1-800-364-TITS Ask for Desirée.

It's funny how they made Jacobs wear boring tights because his real ones would totally upstage the tights of everyone else on the roster. You know they would.

Of course, that would also make you a liar and a thief. ! *Plays illegal ROM of Super Mario Kart* Yeah, I guess I'm not really one to be lecturing people on honesty. Goddamned banana peels!

Of course, that would also make you a liar and a thief.

Wow, the first show in weeks where I'm fully available to write, and I'm not booked. That is NOT a complaint, by the way. Merely an observation.

There are only two more episodes? What the fuck?

Mu...? ...zz. A joke is all it was.

You'll change your mind tomorrow morning, I promise.

Holy crap, I actually won?

I guess he doesn't. I'm stupid. Fuck, I'll just edit the comment so nobody calls me a racist or anything.

Main Event – TRIOS LOCOS~! Ejiro Fasaki, Arch Griffon and Manson vs. Revolution Zero (“The Critic” Scott Pretzler and JJ Johnson) and “The Dean of Professional Wrestling” Jay Hawke © Yes, the belt takes this one. Sub-Main Event – Battleground Rematch! “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins vs. ??? If Mu... er, the mystery man, doesn't make any statistical errors this time, I'd bet on him. Brotherly Love? Lil’ Buck vs. “The Franchise” Mak Francis It will be close, but I say the Franchise teaches that crunkifyin'... crunkifier a lesson or two in getting his ass whipped. Or not. Cruiserweight Rules Non-Title Match Wildchild © vs. Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix WC seems to have a knack for beating everybody. Opening Spot-O-Rama “Maniac” Bryan Rodgers vs. Martin “Big Country” Hunt The n00bulator.

Everything > Soccer > American Football

Despite the crushing pressure of the AP exams, I somehow managed to craft a ***** classic and possibly the best match in SWF history... and somehow, it lost! I don't know what the mods are smoking, but please hook me up - this epic speaks for itself, and it speaks volumes. ------ “Ladies and gentlemen… the following match is the Brawl-O is San Paolo! In this match, the ring will be removed from the field, and pinfalls, knockouts, or submissions will count anywhere!” The ring is indeed nowhere to be found. Suddenly, Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony plays and Scott Pretzler emerges to a chorus of boos. “Introducing first, from Toronto, Ontario, weighing two hundred twenty-six pounds… SCOTT PRETZLER!” He strolls out uncomfortably into the middle of the field. This is not what he is accustomed to. “And his opponent, from Hollywood, California, weighing two hundred twenty-five pounds… ‘HOLLYWOOD’ SPIKE JENKINS!” Spike appears in the entryway accompanied by the crashing guitars of Lamb of God’s “Black Label.” He pauses and drops to one knee, raising one arm into the air, before standing and crossing both over his head in an ‘X’ to symbolize his straight-edge lifestyle. He proceeds down the ramp and stands facing Pretzler. *DING DING DING!* As Spike advances toward Pretzler, his foot comes into contact with a banana peel that had been sandwiched under the ring. Despite the fact that it has rotted, the peel has lost none of its slippery-ness, and Spike is quickly thrown into the air as it slides out from under him. WHAM! He flips over halfway and lands flat on his head. Knocked out instantly. Pretzler covers. ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING!* “Here is your winner… SCOTT PRETZLER!” Victory is sweet. In this case, it is fruity.

Owen was part of the best match in WWF history; if Pete Rose can be in the Hall of Fame, he can.

My name is Christian The King of Crunk I'll take you to school And you gonna flunk! - Christian, Royal Rumble 2005

That was really difficult to read, especially near the end. Just so depressing. I feel like crying now.

Verne Gagne is alive? Well, color me ignorant!