Toshiaki Koala

Chip's Challenge. If you've played it, you'll never use the word "hard" in connection with any other video game ever again.

Good. It was.

Buy a microphone. I guess I could be interviewed too. And also pretend to be other people. That would be funtacular.

I don't know what a Cherry Coke Bash is, but I want to have one.

Who/what is Jumping Jack Flash?

Didn't Samoa Joe get squashed by Essa Rios back in 2001 or something? And if anyone can upload the Noble vs. Danielson matches, that would be super.

I was actually planning to call my referee Victor Fleming (one letter's difference), but Toxxic was already using the name Brian Warner so I decided to respect his decision. Extra credit for anyone who know who Victor Fleming was! About Toxxic's gullibility... I had originally prepared a promo similar to that one in which he was slightly more suspicious and standoffish, but it choked down large quantities of beefdart. Not trying to put you on the spot or anything, Toxx...

Without putting much thought into it, here is my Heaven card: MAIN EVENT Ric Flair vs. Steve Austin TECHNICAL TAG-TEAM FUN Bret Hart and Chris Benoit vs. Owen Hart and Kurt Angle (PROMO WAR PRECEDES MATCH) The Rock vs. CM Punk SUBMISSION MATCH Dean Malenko vs. Bryan Danielson ULTIMATE SPOTFEST LADDER MATCH Rob Van Dam, Rey Mysterio Jr., Paul London, and Jeff Hardy vs. Hayabusa, The Great Sasuke, 2 Cold Scorpio, and Jack Evans CAN YOU SAY "INSTANT CLASSIC?" Eddie Guerrero vs. Ricky Steamboat THREE-WAY DANCE, FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE Cactus Jack vs. Terry Funk vs. Necro Butcher BRING ON THE STIFFNESS! Toshiaki Kawada vs. Samoa Joe BATTLE OF THE HOSSES Brock Lesnar and Vader vs. Mike Awesome and Bam Bam Bigelow BLOND HAIR EVERYWHERE! Chris Jericho vs. Barry Windham RING-BREAKING CHALLENGE MATCH The Big Show vs. Andre the Giant And finally... SODOMIZE THIS! Stan Hansen vs. Rob Feinstein

Now you REALLY need to make a losing matches thread, Ghost Machine.

They should do a people version.

Wow, that's really nice of you, Tom. Even though, you know... WC wrote the match. But I was in the main event, and that's something I can always mention when trying to convince people I don't suck. I've been year a whopping four months, so I haven't done too much of note - but I would put that match down as my second favorite moment from my career so far. My favorite? Going over Pope Benedict XVI at 13th Hour, of course. It was truly an honor to share the spotlight with a figure so famous and respected.

Don't diss the AXUUUUUUUUU BOMBAAAAAAAAAAH!

Pardon my ignorance, but what's a boffin?

This poll has nothing to do with brand, texture, or cooking method. It's all about the flavor. If you think potato chips are evil and give you cancer, don't vote or reply. Go and learn the error of your ways, then come back, vote, and reply. I always get a tingly feeling when I eat a jalapeno chip. Always.

Chicken McNuggets give me massive, explosive midnight diarrhea. Chicken Selects only cause minor stomach cramps. Therefore, I vote for Chicken Selects.

Anyone who defends him is obviously unfamiliar with the Matt Hardy Show. He's a good wrestler, yes, but come on. He might as well just get the restraining order placed on himself.

Getting back on topic, I think it would be absolutely fantastic if the ROH crowd booed this psychopath out of the building like they did his brother. And, knowing how they've responded to other "big names" in the past (Jeff and Konnan, anyway), there's a very good chance of that happening.

The only match I've seen on that list is Sasuke vs. TAKA, and it's an easy ****. The highspots are crisp but are connected by fluid transitions, so it never becomes an all-out spotfest. Second-best juniors match in WWF history after Scotty/Malenko from Backlash 2000.

The Pretzler House is very white, and, even when it's raining outside, extremely dry.

The Western Lariat is the best finisher ever. It's so simple and easy to hit but looks absolutely DEADLY because of Hansen's size and the force he puts into it, not to mention the fact that almost no one ever kicks out of it. No other move is so closely identified with the wrestler who uses it; the whole time you're watching a Hansen match, you can't help but think "When will he hit the lariat?" It adds automatic suspense to every match he's in. Plus, it's just a great looking move and can be hit from any position imaginable (check out his matches with Kobashi in 1993 to see what I mean.)

People really need to get a sense of perspective on this. If the ROH title appeared on WWE TV, 95% of the people watching would scratch their heads vacantly and think "What the hell is that?" Of course ROH puts out a better product, but that doesn't mean most wrestling fans are aware of its existence.

By the way, this is the original banner *I* made for Pretzler. Sucks, doesn't it? Yeah, I know your Pretzler banner was in a different thread. But people aren't reading that one anymore.

Just goes to show you what happens when you put Pretzler over. In all seriousness, I'm extremely grateful that you did so, and if I haven't thanked you already, thanks a lot!

Sorry I never responded to your PM about that, JJ. But yes, I'd certainly like to keep teaming with you.

I think Psyc's ugliness may have something to do with those weird fake dreadlocks he was sporting - while he wasn't quite a bastion of studliness at ONS, he didn't make me actively think "Wow, that guy's ugly" like he did tonight. I enjoyed Eddy vs. Rey despite the incredibly annoying (but unavoidable) commercial breaks. Angle vs. Michaels II looks intriguing, but unless CM Punk shows up soon, sitting through Raw will continue to be a physical impossibility for me.