bob_barron

SNL Review- Paris Hilton/Keane After my review I have two retro reviews from the 2000-2001 season. The Lucy Liu/Jay-Z episode and the Charlie Sheen/Nelly Furtado episode: SNL MOMENT #10: 10. Tell me more, tell me more tell me more The 2003-2004 season was Jimmy’s last under contract. Speculation ran rampant that he would be leaving the show even though Jimmy denied all the rumours and said he wouldn’t make a decision until the summer. No one really believed him and many people expected The Olsens/J-Kwon to be his last show. After the dress rehearsal the speculation continued after Weekend Update ended with Jimmy staring into the camera saying nothing and a skit that many people thought was a tribute to Jimmy. At the end of Weekend Update, Jimmy announced this was his last ever Update and that this would be his last ever show. Stunned silence filled 8-H. At 12:50, there was one skit left to go and it would turn out to be a great send-off for a damn good castmember. THE MOMENT: The skit begins with Rachel and Maya sitting on a bench with Parnell, Darrell and Seth behind them. Amy walks in, lamenting the end of the season and Fred comes in all excited. There’s a huge party at Rachel’s house! This is news to Rachel. The bell rings and Seth is happy- it’s summertime! Horatio, Parnell, Finesse and Kenan start snapping their fingers and singing ‘Summertime.’ Maya and Rachel start singing about what they no longer have to face. With the coming of summertime, sayeth Amy, there are no more orgies Thursday night. Horatio announces he’s going on vacation to New York which is followed by Maya and Amy mispronouncing his name as ‘Horacio’. Horatio starts singing ‘Summer in the City’ and is joined by Fred. Horatio loses his breath and the song comes to an end. This whole time Darrell is just standing in the back motionless. Will and Amy come in and duet to ‘Summer Breeze’ and Maya performs the instrumental version of the song. Tina walks in, dressed like Sandy from Grease, walks in clutching her notes. The girls ask Tina if she’s seen Jimmy and she hasn’t seen him since Update. She’s been in the cafeteria eating her feelings. (A Mean Girls reference) Jimmy walks in, with a leather jacket, acting all cool as the crowd roars knowing this is it for him. The opening bit of Summer Loving plays and the boys and girls get all excited that Tina and Jimmy are near. Jimmy and Tina start singing and dancing to Summer Loving as the cast does the Tell Me More part. Jimmy’s exaggerating Grease style dancing is hilarious. Jimmy asks Kenan to cool it after he does a sexual motion. They sing the final verse of Summer Loving and at the ‘Tell me what he/she’s doing now’ part they collide in the centre of the stage. Jimmy’s puts his hand on her face but accidentally almost knocks off her glasses. He then runs his hand down her chest but stops when he touches her boob. Tina looks surprised and both him and Jimmy stifle a laugh. Jimmy improvises and puts her chest in front of her chest, I guess to prevent anymore accidental groping. Everyone all sings ‘Those Sat-ur-day niiiiiiiiiiights’ and everyone sings the Tell Me More part. Jimmy is jumping up and down soaking in the crowd’s energy as they all know they’ve witnessed his last skit ever on SNL. Jimmy then gives Tina a kiss on the cheek- his final assignment as a castmember on SNL over. The crowd continues to applaud as Jimmy, a massive SNL fan favourite, gets his due after 6 good years. And throughout all this- Darrell is still back in the corner doing nothing. Sports Report- Nets- Looks like the Nets are starting to find their groove. They’ve won 4 out of 5, and VC is starting to find his touch. I’m happy he’s playing so well but I kind of feel bad for Raptor fans because a) Their Raptor fans and b) VC played like crap for them and since he’s gone to the Nets his FG% has gone up 5 per cent. And Eric Williams has just been total crap since going to Toronto. Mailbag!!!!!!!!- [email protected] wrote two letters- Hey Bob- It's Ken from Voy again. I've been surfing around a bunch of wrestling websites, and I've found various rumors concerning Wrestlemania 21 this April. I was wondering if you could give your thoughts on what is being planned for 'Mania this year. From what I've discovered on the Internet and seen on RAW (I don't get SD!), the WWE has the following matches in the works: HHH v Batista- World Title JBL v Cena- WWE Title HBK v Angle- Interpromotional Taker/Kane v Heidenreich/Snitsky- Interpromotional Foley v Flair Now, I've never liked Batista, and I don't know why they let him win the Royal Rumble and are giving him a big push. I saw the JBL-Cena feud coming from miles away, in light of the year-long buildup Cena was given. It's safe to say that April 3 is when JBL finally drops the belt- provided that Vince thinks the right way. HBK v Angle wouldn't really help anyone- they're obviously trying to recapture HBK v Jericho from WM 19. I don't know if they're still planning to turn Foley and Flair's real-life feud into an actual match. And to have that Taker/Kane tag match would be an insult to all that is holy about 'Mania. So, Bob, what do you think about the WWE's current plans for WM 21? Thanks, Ken Hayashi Hey Bob- Sorry- I left out some things when I emailed you earlier today. P.S.: Apparantly, Vince and Rock had a falling out. So Rock probably won't be at WM 21. At the same time, Stone Cold seems to be back in the picture. But I don't know what his role will be at 'Mania. Plus, Vince doesn't appear to be all that eager about letting Brock Lesnar back into the company. What do you think will happen in these situations? Later, Ken Hayashi Don’t be hating on Batista. He’s crazy over with the fans and his work in the ring has much improved. The fans really want to see him kick Triple H’s ass and Vince has got to pull the trigger at Wrestlemania. JBL v. Cena is whatever- I don’t care for either guy. I would’ve done Eddy v. JBL again and have Eddy finally beat JBL and get revenge for all the crap he pulled. Taker/Kane v. Heidenreich/Snitsky is fine with me. As long as they keep it under 10 minutes, it’s a quick and easy way to get the crap in the match and to keep Taker’s WM winning streak alive. HBK v. Angle should be a fun great match with lots of heat- I’m looking forward to it. It doesn’t look like Rocky is coming back which is a real shame since I LOVE The Rock. Hopefully Austin will just be an enforcer or ref this year since he can’t work anymore. I hope they bring Brock back but I’m not really holding my breath. Wanna be in the mailbag???? Email me at [email protected] And now the review.... Cold Opening Cast- Maya Rudolph, Chris Parnell, Amy Poehler, Horatio Sanz, Fred Armisen, Will Forte, Rachel Dratch, Kenan Thompson Thoughts- I don’t really watch American Idol. I mean why watch AI when NBC shows The Most Outrageous Moments in Live TV- I love that stuff. Anyway, I did catch a few seconds of it and I saw a mime. Now why wait all this long just to go and be a freaking mime? The kid who did a bad James Brown and Paula had a conniption over whether to include him or not was pretty funny. Anyway- back to the skit. This was pretty good. Some of the bad auditions didn’t really work (I thought Horatio’s went on for too long) but I liked Fred’s audition and the comments from all the judges regarding the bad auditions they were forced to endure. And Rachel as the mutated child always makes me laugh once or twice. *** Monologue Cast- Paris Hilton, Thompson Thoughts- Tinkerbell got more airtime this episode then Rob Riggle has all season. That’s hot. Well that’s not really hot- it’s more sad. I didn’t want to laugh at this but I laughed at Kenan’s dog in spite of myself. Paris Hilton looked really bad, which isn’t surprising since she’s an ugly disgusting hoebag. Kenan’s dog had some good lines but the rest of this was pretty bad as expected. ** Cheapkids.net Cast- Parnell, Seth Meyers, Poehler Thoughts- This was evil but very funny. It’s always great to see Seth and Amy together and as usual they worked well together. This was a very funny idea for a skit and I thought it worked for the most part. Sadly SNL wouldn’t know that this only worked once. ***1/2 Versace Cast- Hilton, Rudolph, Sanz, Finesse Mitchell Thoughts- Seriously- why do they keep bringing Versace back? And even worse- why must it be the first skit of the night? This was horrible. Usually Versace has at least one or two bright spots but this had nothing. Not even Horatio as Elton John could put a smile on my face. They also repeated the exact same bit from the cut DeNiro skit and that wasn’t funny then either. Hopefully this is the last we ever see of Versace but I’m not getting my hopes up. You know, considering it is the one year anniversary of the Jeff Richards firing, Lorne should’ve celebrated by firing Maya Rudolph. I guess it was the politics of firing her during Black History Month and all that. DUD Stahkisha Cast- Hilton, Meyers, Parnell, Thompson, Mitchell Thoughts- Okay- this was pretty bad as most Stahkisha skits are. Any attempts of Paris Hilton to be funny will also mostly result in me saying this was pretty bad as well. But Kenan saying, “YOU JUST GOT BUGS BUNNYED!” may be one of the funniest lines of the season. I thought that and then when Kenan said that I laughed really hard. It’s a shame they had to waste such an awesome line on such a horrible skit with a horrible premise with horrible people performing it. Kenan with his attempted thefts and the Bugs Bunny line totally saved this skit from the depths of suckdom. *3/4 Cheapkids.net Cast- Parnell, Meyers, Poehler Thoughts- Unfortunately, this commercial really only worked once. Since this was the exact same advert as the first one it didn’t seem as evil, nor as fresh and not as funny. *1/2 Exclusive Connections Cast- Hilton, Poehler, Tina Fey, Armisen, Rudolph, Sanz Thoughts- The first half of the skit was really funny. Amy using Dungeons and Dragons as a way to get a guy off was really funny and I enjoyed all the D and D lingo she used. I don’t play the game or anything but I found it funny nonetheless. Tina in the Princess Leia getup doing Star Wars dialogue with Fred was another thing that made me laugh. After Tina’s Star Wars bit the skit went downhill. Maya as the Star Trek phone sex lady didn’t work at all as the lingo she used just wasn’t as funny as Tina and Amy’s bit. Paris Hilton’s long rambling bit on Dr. Who totally went over my head. I’ve heard of Dr. Who but I know next to nothing about it so everything Paris said was totally lost on me and it badly killed what could’ve been a good skit. **3/4 Trump Cast- Hilton, Darrell Hammond, Rudolph, Armisen, Meyers Thoughts- Darrell’s Trump is funny. Other cast-members trying to do their own Trump impressions- not so much. Plus Donald’s wife is hot and Paris Hilton is an ugly hoebag. (I had to say it again) Seth did a pretty good Donald impression but Fred and Maya were horrible. This skit also used the worst thing about the Trump promo skits, where Trump says, “Here’s what I’m gonna do, etc…” stuff. Trump claiming his photoshoot was going to be the top selling In Style ever was a nice nod at the Donald’s exaggeration proneness but the rest of this was really bad and it was too dead in spots. Leave the Trump impression to the master. *1/2 Keane ‘Somewhere Only We Know’ Thoughts- I didn’t really know who Keane was when they were announced on SNL but I know I’ve heard this song the few times I’ve listened to CHUM FM. This is a good song even though as my friend forewarned me, they did sound like the second coming of Coldplay. I like Coldplay, it’s just on TV, they can be a bit boring. Also the keyboardist bothered me for some reason even though I’m really tired right now and totally don’t remember why. Anyway, Keane was really good. ***1/4 Weekend Update Cast- Fey, Poehler, Armisen, Dratch, Thompson, Mitchell Thoughts- Joke #1 involved Tina’s usual bad Bush joke. Joke #2 involved them ripping off the Daily Show. Certainly not an auspicious start to this Update. It got better and I will admit that Amy and Tina had some real good jokes along the way, particularly the Al Sharpton KFC joke. The Donovan McNabb-Mrs. McNabb bit was alright- Kenan seems to have a knack for playing loud black women and the rippings of Donovan were funny. I laughed at the 56-4 line (They’re gonna get two safeties). Just when I was starting to actually like Weekend Update they had to do that awful Fred and Rachel bit. How does crap like this get past dress rehearsal? How can Tina and Amy justify putting bits like this on the air? We couldn’t have had anything else instead? The point/counterpoint was okay- I don’t know what the hell Tina was doing but I’ve never really heard anyone in Philly talk like that. Amy, for the first time in approximately forever, was actually funnier then Tina in something. This Update had a lot of potential but like most Tina/Amy pairings it eventually fizzled out. **1/4 Merv the Perv Cast- Hilton, Parnell, Rudolph, Meyers, Dratch, Poehler Thoughts- Whoa! MERV THE PERV!~ RETURNS!~ I don’t know why I love this guy but I really do. Plus we get a Merv the Perv FLASHBACK!~ These skits are just so stupid and Parnell has so many dumb double entendres that I can’t help but laugh at everything that comes out of his mouth. Given that the skit took place in 1985, I wonder why Merv was still into Jennifer Beals since Flashdance came out in 1983. You would think he would’ve found a new chick by then. This had the usual funny lines from Merv and thankfully Paris didn’t ruin it. Best skit of the night. ***1/2 Cheapkids.net Cast- Parnell, Meyers, Poehler Thoughts- Yea- the joke is pretty dead. Parnell talking about how painfully sick kids were a pain in the ass was really funny and the rest of this was just a poor rehashing of the first commercial. ** Computer School Cast- Hilton, Armisen, Rudolph, Thompson, Mitchell, Rob Riggle Thoughts- Poor Riggle. I feel bad for him knowing this was his only role of the night. Maybe it was good that Rob Huebel wasn’t hired on SNL since it would really hurt me to see him wasted like this. Apparently this was cut from the Giamatti show and I see no reason as to why they had to do this again. There were a couple of funny lines from Fred but for the most part this skit was flatter then Paris Hilton’s chest. * Barbie Cast- Hilton, Poehler, Forte, Rudolph Thoughts- 3 years ago this week, they did a Barbie skit with Britney Spears the day before the Super Bowl. While the skit wasn’t memorable in the slightest it does have mega sentimental value with me because during that skit I was in New Orleans on the phone buying tickets to the Super Bowl to see the Pats v. Rams. This skit had some potential but never found it and died off rather quickly making the rest of this skit a chore to watch. Much like episodes of the Simple Life. DUD Keane Thoughts- This sounded just like the first song which is a good thing, even though it was a bit slow for 12:40 am. Still, once again the band lived up to their Coldplay-esque billing and I’m not going to complain. *** At the Bar Cast- Hilton, Rudolph, Meyers Thoughts- I’m going to assume Seth wrote this skit because of the Steelers references and if so- he did a great job considering this was the last skit of the night and he was working with Paris. Seth’s Bill Cowher impression and his story about the mini-fridge was funny and I liked his attempts at kissing Paris Hilton and his comments after he was rebuffed each time. This was great for last skit of the night and a good job by Seth. *** Bear City Thoughts- I heard there’s a Bear City that involves wheelchairs. Show that one since crippled people are funny. DUD Bottom Line- Avg. skit was ** making this a thumbs down show as everyone predicted. Paris Hilton was just not cut out to host SNL and they never should’ve asked her in the first place as it had bad idea written all over it. The show wasn’t a complete disaster so we have that to be thankful for but there was just way too much crap here. Thankfully, next week Jason Bateman is hosting the show. I have very high expectations because I LOVE Arrested Development and I really hope they can deliver. Thumbs Down Welcome to the second SNL Retro Review. This is Lucy Liu/Jay-Z. Lucy Liu was hot off Charlie’s Angles which had become quite the hit while I’m sure Jay-Z was plugging some album. The 2000 election had finally ended and SNL still had one more week to milk some Gore v. Bush humour. Cold Opening Cast- Will Ferrell, Darrell Hammond, Chris Kattan Thoughts- The election had just been decided that very week with Bush coming out on top after the Supreme Court ruled in his favour. SNL still had one more week to talk about the election and of course being SNL they had to milk it another week. This skit sees Bush and Gore going to meet at Chi-Chis with the usual Bush-Gore humour thrown in. One funny note is Bush talks about how he would like to start a war which is a nice bit of foreshadowing from SNL. This was the usual good cold opening. One thing I miss about Ferrell is that with his Bush impression, you were usually guaranteed a ***1/2 cold opening every week and now that luxury is long gone. The usual good opening between Bush and Gore. ***1/2 Monologue Cast- Lorne Michaels, Lucy Liu, Tracy Morgan, Kattan, Horatio Sanz, Molly Shannon, Tina Fey, Jerry Minor, Rachel Dratch, Hugh Fink Thoughts- Ahhh racial stereotypes- one of my favourite ways of getting a laugh. This is your standard ‘let’s run through every Asian stereotype we can think of’ monologue and they get them all in there. Being a massage girl with the feet, doing the nails, the only thing that was lacking was Lucy Liu solving an extensive math problem. This was a nice fun monologue as it appealed to the racist in me. *** Priceline Cast- Hammond Thoughts- Priceline.com was one of the biggest winners of the dotcom burst in the late 90s as the name your own price thing (even though there was lots of catches) and the weird ads with William Shatner singing made them very popular. Here is SNL’s spoof of the ads. Hammond does an alright Shatner but the commercial drags on for way too long and the laughs stop coming towards the end. Plus it wasn’t that funny to begin with. ** Gemini’s Twin Cast- Liu, Jimmy Fallon, Ana Gasteyer, Maya Rudolph Thoughts- Gemini’s Twin was a spoof on Destiny’s Child. Back before Destiny’s Child became really big they went through a revolving door of members (at one time there was four in the group) so they when they became big it was media fodder. Of course I don’t think anyone really remembers that there were people in Destiny’s Child other then the current members so this skit was pointless after like one airing. That didn’t stop SNL from beating it into the ground long after it ceased to be funny. Jimmy’s Carson Daly is funny as usual and one of my favourite impressions he did just because he played it so low key. The rest is the usual Destiny’s Child spoof stuff that never did it for me. *1/2 Celebrity Jeopardy Cast- Liu, Ferrell, Fallon, Hammond Thoughts- How did Lucy Liu get to do a Celebrity Jeopardy? I mean it’s not like she’s like famous or anything. Lucy does an okay job with Catherine Zeta Jones but this is all about letting Jimmy run wild with his Robin Williams impression and he does a hilarious impression. Half of the skit is Jimmy acting like a spaz and going off on nonsensical ramblings that are just like what the real Robin Williams does. Of course Will stands there as Alex Trebek giving him his usual exasperate look. Sean Connery gets his usual great zings on Trebek as well. Sean Connery: What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore. The part where he asks Robin if he’s legally retarded is another winner. Lots of great stuff here, you really can’t go wrong when it comes with Celebrity Jeopardy. ****1/2 Pretty Living Cast- Liu, Shannon, Gasteyer, Morgan Thoughts- Remember how I said that you can’t go wrong with Celebrity Jeopardy? Well you can always go wrong when it’s Pretty Living or any Molly Shannon skit post-1998. Molly was truly a cancer on the show- a lot worse then Maya is today or Amy on Weekend Update. She would get a fair amount of airtime to show off her stupid and unfunny characters and then to top it off she would laugh her way through them. It became pretty embarrassing and at times was badly hurting the shows as much as Weekend Update was helping it. This is really bad and goes on for a long time. Thankfully Molly would announce she was leaving a month later. DUD Jarrett’s Room Cast- Liu, Fallon, Sanz, Parnell Thoughts- This is the first ever Jarrett’s Room. This also began a three and a half year running gag where every Jarrett’s Room I would hope that Jeff Jarrett would come out and El Kabong Jarrett the stoner. Unfortunately that never happened. Jeff Jarrett went from being on top in a floundering WCW in 2000 to booking himself as the God of a floundering TNA in 2004. The more things change, the more they stay the same. I was never a big Jarrett’s Room and it wasn’t until they added Seth as DJ Jonathan Finestein that I thought the skit truly had the potential to be good->great. Unfortunately they never really used Finestein much anyway. I’m rambling again, sorry. This was not a bad beginning for Jarrett’s Room. Lucy Liu pretty much added nothing but Gobe was pretty funny and Parnell rocked. 2000-2001 was a great year for Parnell as you’ll see. In fact it was so good that he got fired. A pretty solid beginning to what would become not of my favourite recurring characters. **1/2 Weekend Update Cast- Fallon, Dratch, Kattan, Fey Thoughts- When Weekend Update used to be good- the memories. The ending of the presidential election gave Fallon/Fey lots of good material to work with this week and they took advantage of it as there are some really fun jokes. The commentary with Rachel Dratch as James Madison is kind of weird and drags on a bit too long but is pretty funny for the most part. The changing of the diaper on the New Year’s Baby is the fun bits that I miss about Fallon/Fey that Fey-Poehler can’t just do right anymore for whatever reason. Well I think I know the reason: Amy sucks. Even though I hate him with a passion you kinda have to admire Chris Kattan for being willing to throw away his dignity. I always love Jimmy’s song parodies and him riffing on Bono and going crazy around 8H as Tina looks on in amazement never gets old. Overall a fun Update. **** Jay Z ‘I Just Wanna Love You’ Thoughts- This was pretty awful in a terrible sort of way. The songs Jay-Z sang tonight weren’t really any of his hit songs. It’s mostly just him standing there with a bunch of other black guys rapping about random stuff as I debate whether to fast forward or not. Jay-Z is hit and miss on SNL and this one definitely falls in the miss section. DUD Ornaments Cast- Liu, Fallon, Shannon, Kattan, Ferrell, Sanz, Dratch, Rudolph Thoughts- Another crappy Molly skit! Don’t worry though- we only have three more shows to put up with her crap. This skit sees a bunch of Christmas ornaments discussing their fate as Christmas ornaments as they are being hung on the tree. This is one of those SNL skits that really bother me since I don’t really get what I’m supposed to be laughing at. This seems to just want to be cute and make us smile and it fails on every account. ½* Robert Goulet Cast- Ferrell, Jay-Z Thoughts- Will Ferrell’s Goulet is another one of his recurring characters that his fans love. I think it’s pretty funny but I don’t think it’s the world’s greatest or anything. This skit sees him recording an album with Jay-Z called Murder in the Make Believe Ballroom. There are a couple of funny lines here and Will’s Goulet always guarantees a good laugh but this drags on for way too long. Not even Jay-Z dropping the ‘s’ bomb can save it. **1/4 Happy Holidays from SNL Cast- Fallon, Fey, George the Set Guy Thoughts- A short skit that sees FF wish us a happy holiday and then yell at a total stranger. Sharp eyed viewers may notice that the Total Stranger is George the Set Guy who in May 2001 told me that Chris Parnell had left for the night so me and my friend went to the bathroom. When we came back we found that George the Set Guy was drunk and stoned and was wrong about the whereabouts of Parnell and that by going to the bathroom, we missed seeing him and then he was fired. Four years later- I don’t really give a crap about seeing Parnell anymore. Oh- this skit was too short so I’m not rating it. Jay-Z ‘Is That Yo Bitch’ Thoughts- This song is redeemed by Jay-Z and his homies singing some Rick James and going ‘Gimmee that funk etc etc.’ Other then that this was really bad and wicked long. ½* Seasons Greetings Cast- Sanz, Fallon, Morgan, Kattan Thoughts- I give the Christmas song the same rating every single time and of course this is no different. ***1/2 Bottom Line- Avg. skit was **.1 and yea- this sucked a lot. There was some good stuff and a great Celebrity Jeopardy but there was too much Molly and Jay-Z really brought the rating down. It’s a shame to see them not do more with the 2000 Election, but SNL had the Bush presidency forefront which would give them lots of gold to mine for. SNL Retro Review- Charlie Sheen/Nelly Furtado Charlie Sheen had seen his career revived after replacing Michael J. Fox on Spin City and as he showed people his ability to stay clean and to laugh at his past indiscretions. Nelly Furtado had hit it big with the song ‘I’m Like a Bird’ and was currently riding the popularity of that single. The 2000 Election was long over at this point, and Bush was to be inaugurated in a week. Cold Opening Cast- Darrell Hammond, Will Ferrell, Chris Parnell Thoughts- More political humour as SNL deals with Vice-President elect’s Cheney recent heart attack so Cheney comes out and addresses the nation about his health. I’ve always enjoyed Darrell’s Cheney impression and I really enjoyed how he blatantly says that he’s running things and that W. is a figurehead. We get walk-on appearances by Karl Rove who doesn’t really add anything. On a positive note we do get to see Will’s W. which always kicks ass. My favourite is Will constantly cracking up after saying ‘Dick’. I kind of miss the days of guaranteed good cold openings. ***3/4 Monologue Cast- Charlie Sheen, Tracy Morgan, Paula Pell, Steven Higgins, other writer Thoughts- Charlie Sheen is awesome at mocking himself, and this is one of my favourite monologues of that year. You have to love this monologue if only for Sheen making fun of Men at Work. Tracy’s random cameo to buy drugs is another highlight. The bit at the end with the guy soliciting Paula Pell (an aspiring hooker) really doesn’t work that well. The bit where they compare Sheen to W also didn’t work with me for whatever reason. The rest of the skit is just Sheen making fun of himself and you can’t go wrong with that. ***1/2 Fox Reality Shows Cast- Sheen, Jimmy Fallon, Hammond, Chris Kattan, Ana Gasteyer, Parnell, Horatio Sanz, Ferrell, Jerry Minor, Rachel Dratch, Maya Rudolph Thoughts- This was right when Fox was getting a boatload of controversy for Temptation Island and all the other new trashy reality shows they were unveiling. The first show they show is ‘Herpes Island’ which features five men and ten women- with one of them having a venereal disease- who will get it? Charlie Sheen saying: Island Man #3: [ confidently ] Believe me. I will get it. always cracks me up. Second is the show ‘Temptation Trailer’ which has one family alone in a trailer for ten weeks. Darrell highlights this one as the father muttering “Ten weeks is a long time.” Finally we have the Cannibal which has eight men locked in a room with no food for a year. Alas, the cannibal is quickly revealed as Will Ferrell starts eating someone right away. All in all, this was a great parody of Fox’s reality shows at the time with lots of good lines. **** Iron Chef Cast- Sheen, Kattan, Sanz, Molly Shannon, Parnell, Hammond, Fallon, Dratch Thoughts- I guess this was at the height of the Iron Chef which became a hit in Japan and then was shown on the Food Network. The crazy flamed out pretty quickly as you can imagine- but not for SNL to spoof it. Chris Kattan plays the host (with typical bad dubbing) and it pits Horatio Sanz, the Japanese guy, against Charlie Sheen, who plays a goof off American. The rest are the panellists with your typical Japanese stereotype. This skit goes on forever and the only highlight is Sheen as he delivers funny line after funny line. My favourite is at the end, when he wins, and says, “Suck on that, Speed Racer! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” The other awesome part is Parnell as Emeril in a Food Network cares spot where he urges women to check for breast cancer. This seriously needed to be cut down. *1/4 Eric Dickerson’s pregame special Cast- Sheen, Morgan, Ferrell, Fallon Thoughts- After the Boomer Esiason debacle, Monday Night Football went totally into left field as they hired Dennis Miller to be a colour commentator. Hall of Famer Eric Dickerson was signed to be a sideline reporter and quickly drew media scorn by seemingly not being able to speak the English language. Apparently he got enough scorn to be given his own SNL skit. Will Ferrell plays Dan Fouts, a former NFL quarterback, who was another addition to the MNF broadcasting team. Fouts was famous for adding nothing of substance and SNL rips on that with a vengeance. Jimmy Fallon does Dennis Miller and does a pretty good job of it. Charlie Sheen plays his character from the Major League movies and it’s one of his few unfunny performances of the night. The other problem with this skit is that Tracy’s impression of Eric Dickerson is simply not very funny. I enjoyed Ferrell and Fallon here but the rest sucked. ** The Culps Cast- Ferrell, Gasteyer, Minor Thoughts- My biggest problem with this is that takes forever for them to start singing. The banter between the Culps is usually funny but this goes on for way too long and they’ve lost me before they get to the funny part of the skit. I don’t think that Ana Gasteyer knew that calling Limp Bitzkit, ‘Limp Bisquick’ really is not very funny. The song parodies are pretty good. My favourites were the Culps tackling ‘What’s Going On’ and ‘Play that Funky Music White Boy’. Like I said, there was just WAY too much banter here and it really ruined what could’ve been really good. **1/4 Weekend Update Cast- Sheen, Fallon, Fey, Gasteyer, Kattan, Rudolph Thoughts- Ahhh- the days when Weekend Update was guaranteed ****. The jokes here are pretty funny with some good shots at Clinton and Bush. There are a bit too many misses then I would like in an Update, but the commentaries make up for it. Chris Kattan’s Terrible Re-enactments make an appearance and as much as I dislike Kattan, I always looked forward to this. Ana Gasteyer does Katherine Harris again. I wasn’t looking forward to this but her pot-shots at Paul Begala and Bill Maher were enough to turn this into the winner’s column. Jimmy does a hilarious bit where he reviews a Bill Clinton fundraiser at Madison Square Garden like it was a rock concert. With her awkward delivery, Amy could never pull that off. Charlie Sheen has a funny random cameo after a Tina joke even though him missing his cue almost ruins it. Almost. Even Maya isn’t half bad as Marta Mercado, the illegal immigrant who worked for Bush’s Labour Security nominee Linda Chavez. The usual kickass Weekend Update- I just wish it had better jokes. Nelly Furtado ‘I’m Like a Bird’ Thoughts- I thought Nelly Furtado kicked ass when she first arrived on the scene, it’s a shame she was never able to keep her momentum going for future releases. Obsessive fans will note that often my reviews in the 2001-2002 season would be written while the VH1 Top 10 Countdown was going, more specifically when Nelly Furtado’s ‘Turn Off the Light’ video aired which featured her bouncing around in mud. Hey- it was pretty hot and always made me forget that it was pathetic that I was spending my Saturday nights at 1 am (well technically Sundays) watching the VH1 Top 10 Countdown. Anyway ‘I’m Like a Bird’ is a kickass song and Nelly gave a really good inspired performance. It’s a shame she wasn’t famous enough to get two songs as I would’ve loved to have heard her done Turn Off the Light or Shit on the Radio. ***3/4 Patty Marsh Cast- Sheen, Shannon, Parnell, Ferrell Thoughts- Get ready SNL fans- it’s your CRAPPY! MOLLY! SKIT! OF THE WEEK! Molly plays Patty Marsh and it’s basically Molly’s usual overacting and trying to have a funny voice and not being funny in the slightest while the other castmembers had to fight for whatever material they could. Parnell and Sheen getting into a stupid argument over how Molly’s character can wear her hat and Parnell’s character can’t is the highlight of this otherwise horrible skit. ¾* Ted Brogan Cast- Sheen, Ferrell, Kattan, Morgan, Sanz, Dratch Thoughts- Another famous Ferrell skit. Rachel Dratch delivers a baby, who happens to be a 37-year-old man named Ted Brogan. And no, that is not a typo. Ferrell is hilarious here as half the skit he acts like a baby (going goo-goo gah gah) and having Sheen cut his umbilical cord and then he talks about having money on the Steelers v. Ravens game. Charlie Sheen is the doctor who is seemingly not phased by any of this. The skit screeches to a halt when Morgan and Sanz show up playing two other hoodlums also just born. But Ferrell is awesome here and I really enjoy this skit. ***3/4 Fridays Cast- Sheen, Ferrell, Shannon, Kattan, Parnell Thoughts- Another Ferrell oddity. Kattan plays a waiter at Friday’s who is an asshole to his customers. Charlie Sheen tries to get him fired but his father is Mr. T.G.I. Friday and thus that’s not going to happen. Ferrell wearing a ridiculous costume and speaking with a ridiculous accent is pretty hit and miss, Kattan gives a fine performance and I did enjoy Sheen’s reaction to all this craziness going on. **1/4 The Pervert Cast- Sanz, Parnell, Adam McKay Thoughts- This is a short film made by Adam McKay. McKay’s short films usually have clever premises and some good lines but setting up the plot and all of that usually means this films go on for way too long and lose any momentum that they start to have. A group of perverts ostracise one of their fellow perverts when his perversion is that he gets off on the Crème of Wheat guy. That’s enough for ** and the segments dealing with that are funny but the rest of this usual problem that befalls all McKay short films and also befell Anchorman. ** Classic Vaudeville Cast- Sheen, Dratch Thoughts- This is a dirty version of the Who’s on the First bit and even though it goes on a bit too long it’s still pretty funny. I also love the ending bit which goes like this: Charlie: Okay, look. Let's say I want to have an orgy. Who's doing oral, what's using her hand, and I don't know takes it in the kiester. Now, when it's all over, why comes in to collect the money. Fleisy: That's the first thing you've said right! Charlie: I don't even know what I'm talking about! And, you know what? I don't give a damn! Fleisy: Oh, he's my crack dealer! It’s also fun to keep up and try to figure out who’s who and what Dratch believes Sheen is saying. Good skit and very good for a last skit. *** The Bottom Line- The avg. skit was **. 76 making this a thumbs up show. While it did have some crap, there was a lot of good material here and Nelly Furtado’s performance helped a lot. Back in the day, Weekend Update would enhance a mediocre show and give it some momentum and it would carry over after 12:10. It started out good and had a bumpy middle but there was enough good->great material to make this one a good show. Charlie Sheen was a great host as well.

A few months. Please don't say you're naming that- that show was just a ripoff of Bernie Mac

They booked Nash v. Jarrett as their main event. So they're not

I heard the Sid shitting his pants thing happened at a house show and not WM 13

I remember it was supposed to be Sting v. Vader, Roberts took out Vader and then Simmons got his name drawn and won. I thought this all took place at WCWSN and not a house show. The history of WCW site says it was a TV Taping

They also have to have a minimum number of hotel rooms available

Just curious- what was the SD fiasco?

I believe it was 5 Stan Hoopers that never aired. In fact the unaired Stan Hoopers have been airing in England. I'm hoping fakenews.net puts that episode up for download like they've done the other Hoopers. Undeclared was another amazing show

Ron Simmons won at WCWSN- it wasn't a house show

Can anyone repost Hero v. Punk TLC? I tried to dl it a bunch of times and it didn't work and I think it had too much bandwith

I know- but the people who are most affected by him trust him- as evidence by him winning in Texas twice and then winning the majority in the 2004 election. Just because people don't agree with your opinion and voted for W. doesn't automatically make them stupid

I tried dling Punk v. Hero a bunch of times and it didn't work. Can someone repost it or send it to me via IM?

Considering he's won a couple of elections- I think people do trust him.

Good luck Cartman- I intend to keep my winning streak alive

Hmmm: Scott Hall showing up on Nitro in 1996 Bobby Heenan showing up at X-7 The ECW reunion Bischoff showing up Rock showing up to save Foley from La Res that one time- I lost it Evolution turning on Orton

Absolutely not- Seth is the best castmember on SNL right now and he's become their leading go to guy with Forte and Armisen. While Forte really only works in weird skits (see OH NOOOOOO), Seth is much more versatile and can do almost anything. He also finally got some national press with his John Kerry impression and turned Dave Clinger into a very popular recurring character. He also is almost always hilarious when he's on Weekend Update and he brings an energy and excitement to the desk that Amy lacks. Will Forte would be okay on Weekend Update, but he wouldn't be able to be bizzare and wierd, so we'd get a watered down version of him- and that's not good. Better to leave him off so he can do commentaries. Chris Parnell is just 'that guy.' Lorne made a huge mistake firing him after 2000-2001 and rehiring him again in 2002 has done absolutely nothing. I like Parnell a lot but his time has past. Kenan wouldn't work at the desk. Neither would Riggle. Riggle is best at playing screaming drill seargeant type characters- again- that's better suited for commentaries.

Thank you!

I was at the Patriots v. Rams Super Bowl so that ranks as my favourite. Seeing U2 live and all the Rams fans break down and cry after Vineteri kicked the field goal was pretty funny. I also loved Packers v. Broncos, Pats v. Panthers and Rams v. Titans. Giants v. Ravens was so depressing- I was hoping the Giants would somehow pull it out- and they lost 59,392-5.

I know, but the thread was just mole and a few others asking me about why I don't like Tina. I'm sorry I didn't link them to the previous thread

What arguing? I'm not arguing with anyone- I'm just telling people why I don't like Tina (you know- the subject of the thread) and explaining to people why I take Weekend Update way seriously. If you don't feel it's worthy of being discussed- don't post in the thread

Huh?

What part of this did you guys not understand?! Now look at the horror you've spawned. LOOK AT IT LOOK AT IT LOOKATIT [/davidcrockett]. Yes because me presenting my opinion on a subject I'm passionate about is such a horrible thing

I said her Bush jokes had become stale- I don't see how that's using wrestling lingo. I don't see how giving star ratings for something is associated with wrestling. People give star ratings for movies and television shows as well, I don't think that's using wrestling lingo.

I used wrestling lingo? I didn't even notice that

I take Weekend Update way too seriously- I'll be the first to admit that. It was the segment that made me an obsessive fan of SNL and it used to always be my favourite part of the show and the thing I looked forward to all week. I consider Weekend Update to be my baby and it's something I obsess over week after week. And watching Tina, someone who I used to love and admire, and Amy, someone who I like a lot in skits, just completely crap all over Weekend Update really upsets me and makes me angry. I may be completely obsessed with SNL and Weekend Update but hey- at least I'm upfront about it.