Slayer

The hell, I come back from dinner and Wells is already out? He musta got yanked because he's JUST TOO FAT </scooter>

No, not at all, now if you'll excuse me <grabs random bottle from her liquor cabinet and chugs it down like John Belushi in Animal House>

If you're gonna swerve me from sex with liquor, at least make it good liquor Coffee liquor <shudder> Well you should have known I wasn't talking about sex....I'm not a bad girl....although sometimes I like to be spanked Yeah, well, umm... Texas still sucks. It's like New York City, but with funny hats.

Come on... what 13 year old male wouldn't want a perpetual erection?

If you're gonna swerve me from sex with liquor, at least make it good liquor Coffee liquor <shudder>

Haha

Sure Panty shots... Hooter shots... Maybe flu shots later... What about blowjobs? Well, it's not really a shot... save for maybe a cum shot... But I ain't gonna be picky A blowjob is a shot: Vodka, coffee brandy, coffee liqueur OMG SWERVE~!

Sure Panty shots... Hooter shots... Maybe flu shots later... What about blowjobs? Well, it's not really a shot... save for maybe a cum shot... But I ain't gonna be picky

I sure hope the Jews control the ice cream truck in my neighborhood... coming to my house... I could go for a bomb pop now... <looks outside to see nothing> Aw, nuts...

<tries to avoid patting self on back for POTY nomination> <...pat>

Sure Panty shots... Hooter shots... Maybe flu shots later...

Complete with self-contained Texas-produced beer because Texans are too good for beer from St. Louis or Milwaukee?! ....Just for that, I'll have a Sam Adams (it's always a good decision)

What? You think I want a drink from you? Your kind are the people who drag us down... Your kind cause nothing but problems for society Let me say, there is absolutely no way I am ever... and I mean ever... taking a drink from... ...a Texan ... Seriously, whaddya got?

Oh Jesus Christ, I have no idea what you're talking about

Too obvious Besides, is Goldberg someone you want to be emulating? I mean, he's Jewish! And a shitty wrestler, but still.

And we don't care much for you either! <shakes fist> (nothing but love, Ripper, nothing but love)

<returns the spear while he sleeps>

I got shafted, boo-urns

Back of the line pal <shove> Sheeeiiiiittt. I was here first. *SPEARS~! Angelslayer and makes off with the box of cupcakes* Spearchucker! <pulls out spear from chest complete with own heart attached> ...oh shit

Greek and Scandinavian. My parents were also evil race-mixing scum! So you're either tall, blond with a name ending in "son" or "org", or short and squart with dark hair and a name that ends in "opolus"

Back of the line pal <shove>

Damn, I leave for a couple hours and I miss cupcakes and the fruckus Any left?

If by "wild and unpredictable" they mean 'corporate conformist" then yes, she is

I remember in the old Simpsons episode when they were watching a pro wrestling match and generic heel wrestler hits generic face wrestler with a wrench and does the arrogant foot pin, I think the referee actually slaps the mat 4 times. And even a 4 count is still not enough for King Kong Bundy

Source Shame. I enjoyed him on that show. RIP