jesse_ewiak

In the long run, none of this really matters, but here's a few things... Link #1 From Moses to the Web By Col. Edward Ophof 11th Wing Director of Staff I enlisted in the Air Force in 1963 as an administrative specialist. Yes, we did already wear black shoes, however, Moses did still use clay tablets to get the word out! No, seriously, back then we had few electric typewriters, and since we only had mimeograph machines (producing blue type) for preparing multi-copy documents, we were forced to use primarily carbon paper to make multiple copy documents. Later, in the 70s you were really somebody, at least a commander's secretary, if you had an IBM Selectric typewriter. The Air Force has come a long way since then. Link #2 'The Selectric typewriter was first released in 1961 and is generally considered to be a design classic. After the Selectric II was introduced a few years later [ 1971 ], the original design was designated the Selectric I. The Correcting Selectric II differed from the Selectric I in many respects: . . . 'The Selectric II had a lever (above the right platen knob) that would allow the platen to be turned freely but return to the same vertical line (for inserting such symbols as subscripts and superscripts) . . . . 'Both Selectric I and Selectric II were available in standard, medium, and wide-carriage models and in various colors, including red and blue as well as traditional neutral colors, and both used the same typeballs, which were available in many fonts, including symbols for science and mathematics, OCR faces for scanning by computers, script, Old English, and more than a dozen ordinary alphabets.' Link #3 IBM announces the Electromatic Model 04 electric typewriter, featuring the revolutionary concept of proportional spacing. By assigning varied rather than uniform spacing to different sized characters, the Type 4 recreated the appearance of a printed page, an effect that was further enhanced by a typewriter ribbon innovation that produced clearer, sharper words on the page. The proportional spacing feature became a staple of the IBM Executive series typewriters. Also, one quick point...how did the forgers get that that imperfect-letter typewriter look on it? You know, where the letters don't all ink completely or uniformly? Perhaps they took some sandpaper and scraped off some of the toner. or maybe they used an inkjet and kinda rough paper. Still, looks a whole lot like typewriter work to me - I'm really curious how they got that effect in case i want to gin up some typewriter-looking pages for an art project or something.

Um, Mike, the Newsweek polls internals make that famous LA Times poll look balanced. For example, all polls over the last year for party ID have basically been 32D/29-30R/38-39I. The newsweek poll had 38R/31D/30I. In other words, take the Indies out, and the GOP has a 55/45 lead in turnout, which I think you would even say isn't going to happen in this election. Also, it had military families as 42% of the respondents, which yeah, is a bit off. Personally, Bush is probably up 6-8.

Who is this Osama person? Is he a criminal or something? I haven't heard anybody in the White House mention his name so he can't be too bad. :-)

St. Louis, Detroit, bah. JR still can't tell the difference between Benoit and Jericho and no one else is on his ass. *The above was sarcasam. I f'd up. I somehow doubt that's why I lost the match though. That's why you don't look at the previous weeks card when you're writing the opening.*

Um, I pretty much know why I lost, but triple threats bah. :-) However, if you want to make any comments/suggesions/flames/suspensions, go ahead :-) Cue up the signs and screaming crowds as we come back from commercial, as the sold out crowd in St. Louis comes alive. “Welcome back citizens to S…W…F STOOOOOOOOOORM~!” cries Comet as the hard nu-metal rock goes over to speakers. “It is I, CYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYCLONE COMET!, and alongside as always is the Robin to my Batman, Bobby Riley!” “Look, just because you found that outf - I mean, why must you always call me my sidekick?” replies Riley. “I’m an equal member of this broadcast team.” “OK, OK, Robert. You’re the Green Arrow to my Green Lantern.” “That’s just so much better.” “Anyway, it looks like Citizen Funyon is ready to announce the competitors of this match.” Debonair as always, Funyon looks out to the crowd as it settles down, “The following match is scheduled for one fall and is a triple threat match for the USJL CHAMPIONSHIP!” Small title match pop as the lights go down a little. “Introducing the first challenger…” Crystal Method’s “Name of the Game” begins to pulse through the sound system as a blistering-fast video package races across the Smarkstron. Images of Levy flying across, around, and out of the ring are interspersed with black-and-white footage of Levy leaning against a brick wall, one foot braced against it, strumming away on an electric guitar… “…standing at a weight of 233 pounds, from somewhere in the Maryland suburbs…”THE POET” BRYYYYYYYAN LEVY!” The music swells and drops off – Mutha’fucka – **BAM** White pyro explodes all along the entrance ramp, heralding Levy’s entrance through the curtains at the top. Levy takes his time getting to the ring, usually stopping to play to the crowd in some fashion. The Poet slides into the ring and rises in the center, cueing four jets of white pyro from the ring posts up to the rafters – Levy stands with his hands in his pockets, smirking out at the audience and waiting for the arrival of his opponent. “Next up…” *BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!* The hard bass line strikes of Muse’s ‘Hyper Music’ signal the entrance of the one and only Ace Lezaire, striding out form behind the curtain with a cocky grin on his dial. He stands at the top of the stage, raising his arms to the heavens, thanking them for his looks and talent as… *BOOM!* “…from Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, at a weight of 234 pounds, he is “THE SOVERIGEN OF SWAAAAAGER” AAAAAAAAAACE LEZAIRE!” …Two tall bursts of pyro explode either side of him, before the Prodigy heads to the ring, waving to the fans graciously as they boo the hell out of him. “And finally…” Cue the creepy beginning to 'Back on Earth' by OZZY~ as David walks out to the ring, focused on the ring as the crowd cheers and the small bit of pyro goes of behind him and the crowd cheers as Cross has the title belt over his shoulder. Cross enters the ring, absentmindedly slapping hands. “…from Oil City, Pennsylvania, weighting 277 pounds, he is the REIGNING USJL CHAMPION, “THE FAAAAAAAAALEN ANGEL” DAAAAAAAAAAVID CROSS!” Cross takes off his leather and cross, and sets them aside, looking at his two opponents in the ring. ”Citizen Lezaire has been in a bit of a slump, while Citizen Levy is a newcomer to the SWF. Also, Citizen Cross had a very impressive win versus Candace last week after defeating Vladimir Everheart for the USJL title last week.” says Comet as Lezaire with a smirk on his feet points to the other two men in the ring and motions them to go ahead. “While, Cross and Levy have both been on rolls the past few weeks, while Lezaire has unfortunately been spinning his wheels,” says Riley. “If Lezaire wins here, he can get back his momentum, while both Cross and Levy would just keep their momentum going.” Levy simply shrugs and goes to lockup with Cross, who obliges. The Fallen Angel gets the quick advantage by locking on a headlock on Levy, but The Poet quickly escapes the hold and locks on a hammerlock for a moment, before Cross throws an elbow to knock off Levy. Bryan backs off as Cross turns around, only to get nailed by a quick leg strike, followed by another one knocking Cross back. Levy then throws a big dropkick truly stunning Cross, then The Poet nails a quick strike to the gut and knocks Cross down to the mat with a jawbreaker as the fans pop loudly! “Citizen Levy is starting off strong ladies and gentlemen, and Citizen Lezaire is just hanging back,” notes Comet as Levy does a little shadowboxing as Ace begins to move in. “Ah, now he moves in.” “Smart move, let the speed freak beat up on the goof, and move in for the kill,” replies Riley. “Ace is no dummy Comet, he knows what he is doing.” “I realize that Robert, I know Citizen Lezaire is an accomplished wrestler.” says Comet. “I’m no dummy either Robert.” Cross gets back up to the mat, only to be nailed by an open handed slap by Ace! As Cross just shrugs off the slap, Ace eyes go wide realizing that Cross isn’t as stunned as he thought, and is nailed by a quick forearm by The Fallen Angel! Cross goes for more, but is nailed from behind as Levy comes out of nowhere with a Springboard Dropkick from behind! As Ace simply backs away, Levy then takes a few steps back and drops on the champion with a running kneedrop while the fans cheer the newcomer again! But as Levy gets up to play to the ground, Ace sees his moment and comes out of his corner and drills The Poet with a jumping heel kick knocking Levy back a few steps and stunning him for a moment. That moment is enough for Lezaire to follow up with a spinning back kick knocking Levy down and out! “Citizen Lezaire is picking and choosing his moments, and keeping both Levy and off guard by attacking both men,” says Comet as Ace delivers a few quick stomps on Levy. “He obviously has a gameplan and it’s working.” “Well, Levy wouldn’t know a plan beyond making a crowd cheer like sheep, and Cross like I said is just a big goof who had the good fortune to face a guy on his last night on the main roster and friggin’ Candace,” replies Riley as Ace backs away and throws his hands up, playing to the booing crowd. However, as Lezaire does that he turns around and walks straight into The Fallen Angel’s chest, who is up and not ever happy. He throws a few nasty forearms at Ace as Lezaire tries to escape. Then, David tosses Ace into the ropes and Canada’s Greatest Hope eats a big size seventeen from Cross! Pulling Ace up, Cross continues the punishment by hooking the smaller Lezaire into a headlock, and driving Ace’s face right into the mat with a jumping bulldog. As the crowd cheers, Cross picks up Lezaire again who is feeling the effects of the string of moves and lets The Fallen Angel get him into a gutwrench and suplex him directly on to the mat causing the crowd to just cheer louder. Levy at the this point is up, and walks over to Ace to give out even more punishment, but Cross stops him and the two huddle up for a moment as Lezaire struggles to get up. “Citizen Cross has completely taken over this match and now, he and Citizen Levy are making some sort of plan or pact,” says Comet as Levy goes to the corner near Ace as Cross measures him up. “The two seem to be working together for the moment.” “Well, alliances and such never last in triple threat matches,” replies Riley. “It’s every man for himself, because the first pin wins it. Plus, Levy will want to try some flippity-floppity maneuver and Lezaire will take him out.” “You seem oddly confident of a man who is barely getting to his feet.” “I have more confidence in him than I do the big goof and a guy who’s probably a charter member of Date Rapers Across Am -” “ROBERT!” “Hey, remember, you’re the play by play, I’m the color,” says Riley as Cross peppers Ace with a few more forearms. “So, I’m going to provide some damn color.” “Bobb-o, the words FCC Violation are coming to mind.” As Riley muses over possible fines and suspensions, Cross delivers a quick kick to the gut and makes a high sign to Levy. As he does that, The Poet does his own playing to the crowd as The Fallen Angel delivers a nasty knee directly into the temple of Lezaire. But, instead of finishing the sequence, Cross simply lets Ace stand stunned and a bit glazed over as Levy does a springboard and delivers a… “…DANGEROUS SPRINGBOARD DIAMOND CUTTER!” screams Comet as the fans explode with spot-fu glee as their hero goes for the pin… …ONE… …TWO… …TH - CROSS KICKS LEVY OFF! “Here we go,” muses Riley as Levy immediately gets up and all in The Fallen Angel’s face. Not the best maneuver as Cross pushes Levy into the corner and then simply moves over to Ace, grabs Lezaire and sends him to the outside! As the fans cheer the tossing of the proverbial trash in their eyes, Cross turns around only to see a rushing Bryan Levy jump and knocks him into the corner with a shining wizard! Cross stumbles back over to the corner, only for The Poet to come right at him again and take him back to the mat with a hurricanrana! Both men quickly get to their feet, Levy getting back up much quicker than the larger Fallen Angel. Meanwhile, on the outside, Lezaire is still dead to the word but slowly rising to his feet, while Levy delivers a few kicks/leg strikes right to chest and gut of one David Cross! Bryan then finishes his flourish by using David’s weight against him and using his and The Fallen Angel’s momentum, and crashing Cross to the mat with a over-the-shoulder judo throw, also known as an IPPON SEIONAGE! “Citizen Levy right now is showing behind all the flash and dash, he is a very skilled and very able wrestler who can go far here in the SWF,” Comet says as the crowd cheers the man from Maryland. “But, I do believe neither Citizen Lezaire or Cross will let this brash rookie take them down easily.” “Geez, you think Comet?” asks Riley with just a bit of biting sarcasam in his voice. “Every single wrestler in the SWF, besides maybe Candace and GORO wants to win and move up the ladder. So yeah, Cross and Lezaire are not out of this as of yet, as much as may want the goof to be down and out so Ace can stretch Kibigami‘s pet student.” “You do realize he might come back to just to Demonstar you for that comment?” “Er, um, I mean -” “Just kidding, Robert. You’re so funny when you’re scared for your life.” As sort of a final coup de grace, Levy backs up, races and dives over to the top rope onto Ace! Only one small problem… “…LEZAIRE MOVES! LEZAIRE MOVES! CITIZEN LEVY JUST CRASHED OUT ON TO THE HARD CONCRETE FLOOR” “Jesus, get a hold of yourself. He’s not dead…I think.” So, to recap, Cross is recovering in the ring, Levy just knocked himself out on the concrete and oh yeah, Ace had a cocky grin and the Joe Louis arena crowd booing their head off at him as he stomps the shit out of Levy on the outside! Referee Anthony Michael Hall tries to attempt to get some semblance of order, but it doesn’t quite work as Lezaire just picks up Levy and BITCHSLAP TO THE FLOOR~! “Well, maybe that will wake the little punk up that he’s in the big time now,” says Riley. “Now, some move with eighty-seven rotations and a flip won’t get you anything but a visit to the ICU.” “You enjoy this?” asks Comet as the crowd continues to boo. “Oh, look at who I’m asking. Of course you do.” “Violence and blood, two of my favorite things.” Comet again just sighs as Ace stomps The Poet one more time, then rolls in the ring as Cross gets up. The Fallen Angel moves to go after Lezaire, but Ace is ready and while Hall is making sure Levy is still moving, pokes Cross in the eye. With the momentum still in his favor, Lezaire then bounces off the near ropes and drills Cross as Lezaire rotates with a Running Cyclone Elbow! As The Fallen Angel wobbles, Lezaire goes off the near ropes again and delivers a big DROPSAULT knocking Cross down to the mat. Sensing this may be his moment, Lezaire runs, jumps once, twice, and flies through the air, backflips, and lands directly on The Fallen Angel’s chest with a… “…TRIPLE JUMP MOONSAULT BY LEZAIRE!” screams Comet as Hall counts… …ONE... …TWO... …TH - KICKOUT AS THE CROWD EXPLODES! “Citizen Cross is still in this thing,” says Comet as Ace points a finger at the referee, who simply raises two of his own. “He has been battered and beaten by both of his opponents, but simply refuses to stay down.” “Ace hasn’t exactly been walking through daisies either Comet,” replies Riley. “But he’s enough of a fighter to stand up and beat both men on his own.” As Riley says that, the crowd pops a little as Levy finally rises to his feet, shaking the proverbial cobwebs. “I’d point out Citizen Lezaire got lucky that Citizen Levy took to the air, but I’d doubt that would make much of a point in your deluded world. After all, you probably don‘t even notice Levy is up and getting his bearings back.” “You’re probably right, Comet,” says Riley. “But it’s such a nice world I live in.” “Plenty of Tom Flesher posters?” “Exac - I mean, can’t you leave a man in peace Comet?” asks Riley. “As for Levy, he’ll see everything is under control and let Canada’s Greatest Hope pick up the win.” “Somehow, I doubt that will happen.” Ace, just a bit frustrated, kicks Cross directly in the gut a few times, then picks up and with a florish, gets him in position, and takes him right down to the mat with a STO! While the crowd booes, Ace simply threads one arm, grabs David’s head and adds the body scissors to complete the Chickenwing Facelock! Levy looks on with amusement on his face as he slaps the mat a few times. But, Cross is a big boy and slowly begins the job of trying to escape the hold dragging the two hundred and thrity five pound frame to the ropes and Lezaire tries to rear back on the facelock to no avail. Cross, already close to the ropes, moves quickly when Lezaire try to reposition himself and grabs the middle rope! After nearly waiting the entire five count, Lezaire breaks with a not too happy look on his face and with a glare for Levy. “Way too soon to try for a submission,” says Riley. “Cross may be worn down a bit, and tired, but you’re not going to get the goof to quit while he thinks he still has a chance to get to the ropes. Bring him to the middle of the ring, lock on something and get the bastard to tap out.” “Well Bobb-o, I think neither Citizen Cross nor Levy will just lie down and let that happen. They’re both fighters.” “Just because the sheep cheer for them, doesn’t mean they’re heroes Comet,” replies Riley. “I could say the right things, and get these idiots to cheer my ass, but why would I want that?” Back in the ring, Lezaire nails Cross with a quick kick to the gut before taking the USJL champ back down to the mat after grabbing a the big right arm of Cross, and spinning it into the Regal-style neckbreaker! The move causes Cross to fall near the middle of the ring, while Levy, avoiding contact, slaps the mat again. While the crowd continues to boo, Ace simply sneers and grabs a leg, steps over and then bends down…completing the CROSS STF as the fans really lay into him now! As Lezaire rears back on the hold, Levy really gets into the role of pseudo-partner, slapping the mat as the crowd begins to chant… “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “Oh. My. God.” says Riley, almost in shock. “The kid hasn’t burnt all his brain cells out. He’s a genius!” “What are you talking about, Robert?” asks Comet as the crowd continues its chanting and Cross tries to get to the ropes to no effect. “Look, Levy is playing this perfect,” says Riley. “The idiots in the crowd have completely forgotten that Levy could break this hold any time he wants to. But he isn’t. He’s just laying back, waiting to steal the kill.” “Are you implying Citizen Levy wants Citizen Cross to lose?” “Well, of course he does. But he wants to win, so that’s a flaw in his plan.” “A flaw?” “Well, it’s obvious Ace is back on the comeback trail and is going to win the USJL title.” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” As Riley makes his predictions, Cross tries to get closer to the ring to no effect, simply getting kept in the middle of the ring by Lezaire, who has a big grin on his face as he pulls back even more. Levy continues to try to get the crowd to chant, and clap and such as he keeps a small smirk on his face. In the ring, Cross is attempting to fight, but fading. Lezaire just cranks back more and more, his grin plastered on as Hall asks Cross if he wants to quit. Cross shakes his head empathically no, but it’s obvious he’s losing strength. Lezaire locks on the hold even tighter as Hall looks at Levy, as if to say, “what are you doing?” Levy just points to his head as Ace calls Hall back over and tells him to check on Cross. Hall asks, but gets no answer. So, he grabs The Fallen Angel’s arm and raises it, before dropping…. “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” …and it falls to the mat for the first time! As the crowd cheers even louder, Hall raises the champion’s arm again and… “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” “LET’S GO DAVID, LET’S GO!” …it falls again, limp as the crowd chants even louder. But, as Hall raises the arm one last time, Levy sees his opening, runs, and… “…CITIZEN LEVY BROKE UP THE HOLD!” screams Comet as Levy dropkicks Cross free as Lezaire spirals to the ground! The Poet then runs to the other side of the ring, and does a quick jump to the floor as the crowd cheers! Lezaire, after stomping his feet for a moment, picks up Cross, hooks him in the ¾ nelson and drops him to them at with an ACE CRUSHER as Hall counts and Levy scrambles to the top rope… …ONE while Levy sets himself… …TWO as Levy jumps… …THRE - LEVY CRASHES DOWN ON TOP OF LEZAIRE AS THE CROWD GOES MAD! “For the second time in just seconds, Citizen Levy has just cost Ace this match which you have to think Citizen Lezaire thought he had won,” says Comet as all three men lay on the ground, in various states of consciousness. “Well, he should’ve won. Cross has been KO’d for the last minute or so, but Levy has to keep on sticking his nose in Lezaire’s business just because he has some plan,” replies Riley while Ace rises to his feet, using the ropes for leverage. “Robert, all three men are in this match!” “But only Ace deserves to win.” “You’re so biased you make Sean Hannity looks balanced,” notes a droll Comet as Levy gets to his feet as the two challengers face off as Cross is still out like a light. “I take that as a compliment.” “You would.” Levy and Ace immediately go after each other, Ace with an attempted jab, but Levy blocks and attempts a quick leg strike, only to be grabbed and blocked by Ace! The two fighters back off, before trying again, this time Bryan fires first, only for Ace to get a hand up, but Levy then ducks under an attempted hook kick by Lezaire, only for Ace to then block his strike, and for Lezaire to finally connect with a jab! Then, another one, and another one as the crowd booes, and Lezaire tries for the Discus Punch, only for Levy to duck under and quickly take Lezaire up and over with Ippon Seionage as the crowd goes wild! Cross finally starts to awaken, with The Fallen Angel using the ropes to steady himself as Levy continues his assault as Lezaire gets up with another leg strike to the rib, then Levy goes to the near ropes as Lezaire is stunned, and drives him to the mat with a nasty SPRINGBOARD DIVING DROPKICK! Then, while the crowd cheers and The Fallen Angel stands to his full height, The Poet locks on a waistlock and falls back into a neck-destroying… “…ACID GERMAN BY LEVY!” screams Comet as Levy begins the Toyota Roll into the pin as Hall counts… …ONE… …TWO… …THRE - CROSS NAILS A BOOT TO THE PINNING PREDICAMENT! Levy gets up first, and immediately goes over to Cross and receives a soupbone to the forehead, knocking him back as the crowd roars! Levy simply throws on a smile and does the quick ‘bring it’ motion and the two fan favorites locks up, and battle for position, only for Ace Lezaire to recover just a few moments later and nail the first man he sees with a low blow! The man was Levy who collapses to the mat as the crowd erupts in a mixed pop that just grows larger as Lezaire motions to Cross about a move, and Cross simply nods. Ad the fans buzz, Cross picks up the lighter Levy, and delivers a sharp knee to the head to weaken him further. Then, he picks up The Poet again, and sets him on top of his shoulders in a Electric Chair position. Then, as the fans buzz become noise and cheers and jeers, Lezaire frames up the picture, then makes the OK signal to Cross. The Fallen Angel falls forward into Lezaire as The Sovereign of Swagger grabs Levy as he falls and delivers a nasty, nasty… “…ACE CRUSHER BY LEZAIRE!” screams Comet as the crowd erupts. “I don’t know what you would call that double-team move, but -” “I’ll tell you what you’d call it. Damn effective,” says Riley as Cross backs away while Lezaire rises to his feet in ecstasy and joy. “It might’ve just knocked Levy out of the picture.” “I think as well Robert, that Citizen Levy may have just been given his own requiem for this match.” “Overly dramatic much?” “It comes with the territory,” replies Riley. “Unless you want to stop screaming peoples signature moves and stop sending my doctor to the Bahamas due to my bills.” As Lezaire turns around, his smile turns to fear as he sees The Fallen Angel’s boot coming his way and landing directly in his solar plexus. Then, as the crowd cheers, Cross grabs Ace by the throat as he attempts to fight off Cross with a few errant elbows, but to no effect, as David picks Lezaire straight up in the air, then slams him to the mat with a mighty CHOKE SLAM! The hits just keep on coming as Levy gets to his feet, and tries to pull a last-ditch effort by going to the ring apron as Cross choke slams Lezaire. As Cross turns around after the move, Levy launches himself at Cross with a springboard rana, but a slight problem makes it self known… “…CROSS CATCHES LEVY!” screams Comet as the crowd really gets even louder as The Fallen Angel picks up Levy. “You don’t think?” asks Riley as Cross begins to walk over to the ropes. “Oh, I think at this point, he very well could,” says Comet. “Remember, he saw Levy just watch him get stretched out earlier.” Then, as some flashbulbs go off as Cross gets to the rope, The Fallen Angel pulls Levy up into the heaven…and then casts him into hell! *CRASH* “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” “Citizen Cross just power bombed Levy from the ring apron to the outside.” says Comet matter-of-factly as Cross simply looks at Levy for a moment, then turns to Lezaire who is getting to his feet. “See, time for Lezaire to get his win.” “We’ll see.” Cross just walks over to Lezaire, who backs up and attempts to surprise The Fallen Angel with a spinning heel kick. Only Cross ducks and Lezaire lands with his back to Cross. Bad position to be in. David immediately locks on a waistlock and rocks Ace with a RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Then, Cross makes a throat slitting motion as the fans come unglued. As Lezaire gets to his feet, a little dazed, he’s kicked in the gut and… “Citizen Lezaire is about to become another unwitting participant in a…” …Cross brings him up to heaven again, the slams him with great force to the mat! “…BLAAAAAAAAAAAAACK MASS~!” Hall drops down to count as Cross hooks the far leg… …ONE… …TWO… …THREE! DING! DING! DING! “The winner of the match, and STILL USJL CHAMPION, “THE FAAAAAAAAAALEN ANGEL” DAAAAAAAAVID CROSS~!” “Back on Earth” hits the PA while Cross rises to his feet, saluting the crowd as it begins to chant… “CROSS!” “CROSS!” “CROSS!” “Wow, he just snapped out there,” says Riley. “I wouldn’t call it snapping,” says Comet. “I’d say going to a dark place to get the win.” “Whatever,” says Riley as Levy finally gets to his feet, and looks at Cross celebrating and heads to the back. “Well, no matter, it looks like this crowd has been turned to Citizen Cross and his justice-abiding ways.” “Or they just saw him win a match, and figure to support the winner.” Comet just says silent as Cross grabs his belt and slaps it over his shoulder again as he salutes the crowd with his fist as we cut to commercial.

Um, they already tried carpet bombing Grozy to ruins as you saw. Didn't work that well. Both sides have been equal fuckheads in the long run. The Russians just did their killing of civilians with government sanction. Are these terroists scumfucks? Of course, but by the same token, the Russian's killed 100,000 civillians. I bet at least 400 of them were kids. Again, I'm not justifying, but I am throwing out a possible explanation. Yeah, there's no doubt freelancers have come in from other countries to cause chaos. That's what happens when you destabilize a country. *Points to Iraq*.

Not to play Devil's Advocate here, but the situation was completely inevitable. If my friends and family were bomed from their homes, killed and maimed by indescriminate shelling, and taken into Russia never to be seen again, I might do some pretty crazy shit as well. After all, estimates of civilian casaulties are estimated at about 100,000+ in Chechnya. So, the fucktards in the school probably think what's 400 more and at least they're Russian. But like I said, if I was a fundamenalist religious whacko and another nation did this to my city... ...I might do some wacky shit too. Again, not a justification. From the BBC, a best of from yet another war in the world... The civilian death toll from Russia's air and artillery bombardments in Chechnya climbed sharply on Sunday, with Chechen officials reporting more than 60 dead in threee attacks. The BBC's Lyndsay Marnoch reports: "Western leaders have voiced concern over Russia's use of force" A correspondent for Reuters news agency witnessed the funerals of 27 people killed in the south-eastern village of Serzhen-Yurt in a bombing raid shortly after dawn. Nine children were among the dead, residents said. The Chechen authorities reported two other attacks. One was in the town of Vedeno, also in the south east, where a rocket was said to have killed 23 people. Shelling was reported to have claimed the lives of another 16 people in the western village of Samashki. The Russian bombardment came despite international calls for an end to Moscow's offensive in the breakaway republic after Thursday's rocket attack on the capital, Grozny, which killed around 140 people. Russian bombers have been raiding Chechnya since early September Chechen reports say that a further 163 people died in attacks on Friday and Saturday. It was not clear how many of the dead were fighters, and how many were civilians. In Thursday's attack missiles fell on a market and a maternity hospital. Many of the casualties were women and children. The Russian military acknowledged firing missiles at targets around the towns of Bamut and Achkoi-Martan in the east of the breakaway republic, but said they were aimed at rebel military positions. By 1 January, the all-out assault had given way to soldiers fighting house by house. Helicopter gunships attacked neighbourhoods and jets bombed the parliament. Western journalists, including BBC correspondents, reported that the Russian artillery was indiscriminately targeting civilian apartment blocks as the capital was rocked by the sheer power of the attack. The civilian war casusalties are difficult to count too. The Chechen government was the only one which tried to keep an account during the first war, which was possible because of Chechen familiy structures. Very few people went missing without anybody noticing (contrary to the Russians who usually had no family clans). The number of civilian casualties during the first war as given by the Chechen authorities was about 100,000, with several thousands still missing (mostly people taken to concentration camps inside Russia, where they disappeared). Some Russian human rights bodies counted about 80,000 victims. The Court’s involvement came after nearly a decade of violence in Chechnya. The self-proclaimed republic attempted to split away from Russia in the early 1990s but gained little international recognition. It was claimed back by Moscow in both the war of 1994 to 1996 and during the current conflict, which began in 1999. Today Russian forces and Chechen separatists remain locked in a guerilla war. Over 100,000 people, many of them civilians, have been killed in the two conflicts, and more than 200,000 have fled their homes. For a more complete history of events in Chechnya, see the BBC’s overview or timeline. Chechens declared themselves a sovereign nation. By December 1994, Russian forces attacked Chechnya, beginning an embarrassing chapter in Russian military history. Over 100,000 Chechen civilians were killed, 6,000 Russian soldiers, most of the country razed, and 17 million land mines were scattered by Russian forces. The war ended in 1996 with a stalemate. This war, which caused an estimated $5.5 billion in economic damage, was largely the cause of Russia's national economic crisis in 1998, when the Russian government proved unable to service its huge debts. In September 1999, following an incursion of Chechen militants into Dagestan, Russia re-invaded Chechnya. A few thousand Chechen guerillas, and their foreign helpers, held off 100,000 Russians until February, 2000, when they evacuated the city. They have been fighting a guerilla war ever since, resulting in the deaths of thousands of Russians and countless Chechens. Grozny was reduced to rubble by Russian bombing. Human rights organisations document Russian forces carrying out summary execution and rape of Chechen civilians.[/b\ In short, both sides were assholes and war is fucking hell.

I really should've edited this all in one post, but both ARG & Ramussed both have Bush up 2 and 4 respectivally in the same time period. Meaning of course, polls mean nothing. :-) Also TIME had Kerry up 51-44 after the DNC. So, yeah, there ya' go. Metro, on last count, Kerry was ahead in like 11 or 12 of the 16 "battleground" states. That was before the RNC though.

Not to pile on, but wasn't there a poll out during the DNC that had Kerry out with a huge lead, then all the other polls came out and evened them out. I may be just misremembering....ouch, Bush-type word. :-)

I'd wait for the first poll taken after the convention, to be honest. Also, most polling outfits don't use only LV until after Labor Day. After all the post-convention polls are out, Bush's bounce will probably be about at what Kerry's was or a little higher, 3-5 point average.

This is great...Zell's speech, based on an e-mail hoax?

Well, you know both Dick and Edwards had similar speeches, they both mentioned Kerry more than Bush.

It's sad we can't have Dean v. Miller as like a side attraction to the debates. "Tonight, before debate one..."THE DOC" HOWARD DEAN VERSUS "TURNCOAT" ZELL MILLER IN A FIFTEEN FOOT HIGH STEEL CAGE!

At this rate, Andrew Sullivan will be endorsing Kerry by the end of Bush's speech...

Ah, it needed editing. It's about 1/3 decent jokes/observations, 1/3 horrible, and 1/3 stuff only New Yorkers would get it.

Small problem. Whenever I try to sign on to AOL, it goes to step 2, then says sign on is blocked. Any possible reasons you got for that?

This is just beautiful....and nails both sides as well. http://www.nypress.com/17/35/news&columns/feature.cfm 1001. City’s collective IQ drops eight points, temporarily tying us with Seattle. 1000. Delegates from Kansas spotting Dave Chappelle on the streets 50 times a day. 999. Rudy Giuliani caught backstage in Nosferatu pose, muttering, "Soon all this will be mine!" 998. Protest war stories from people who spent previous 364 days watching MTV. 997. Mary Cheney forced to stop eating pussy for most of Wednesday primetime slot. 996. Osama bin Laden’s name will not be mentioned by a single speaker during the convention. 995. Our weekly Al Qaeda training seminar and pot luck social was cancelled. 994. Fey, dreadlocked boys cause everyone else to question their sexuality. 993. Bush pitches himself as protector of New York, even though the state still inexplicably ranks 35th in anti-terrorism funding. 992. Aaron Brown taking chicks on limo rides to Times Square and saying, "There used to be a billboard of me here." 989. Republicans fail, for reasons that baffle even prominent Republican lawmakers, to release names of all the members of the platform committee. 988. Because NJ Transit is sealing all the trash containers on their NY-bound trains, it’s Bring Your Garbage to Work Week. 985. Inevitable "Markets React Favorably to Four Days of Preposterous Speeches" story. 984. Last-day riots between police and protesters just an elaborate ruse to allow Jeremy Irons to rob the Federal Reserve downtown. 982. Republican delegates in pricey hotels and eating catered food at city expense as Bush administration proposes revoking of $107 million in Section 8 housing vouchers for New York poor. 981. Wednesday-night Condi Rice Appreciation Bash at Henrietta Hudson cancelled. 980. TV audiences deprived of sole entertainment angle on convention: Viewers will not get to see the phonetic spellings in the teleprompter text of George Bush’s speech. 979. Bowlmor populated by folks who can actually bowl. 978. Fad-happy GOP wives flush baby alligators down hotel toilets, guaranteeing killer gator problems down the line. 977. Jessica Cutler prefers Republicans to alt-weekly editors. 976. Inevitable Law & Order episode featuring skeleton of United for Peace and Justice organizer found mysteriously buried under Central Park boat shed. 975. Local policies quietly being determined while the newspapers are flooded with convention news (like the Dept. of Ed.’s decision to stop teaching sex-ed students how to use condoms). 971. LIRR shut down. 970. NJ Transit shut down. 969. Commuters screwed. 968. Local businesses screwed. 967. Massive numbers of foreigners watching just to find another reason to hate us. 966. More NYC bike messenger featurettes on BBC News than usual. 961. A quarter-million angry protesters, yet none think to encircle Fox News studios to block doughnut deliveries to Roger Ailes. 958. All the good blow bought up by Congressional pages. 957. Federal subsidy for convention security: $50 million. 956. Cuts in federal Health Community Access Program for New York’s medically uninsured: $120 million. 955. Political convention host committees the last bastion of unrestricted "soft" money in American political campaigning. 952. Can’t make jokes about killing the president. 949. Sean Hannity able to credibly claim this is his town. 948. Hard to tell if Dick Morris is hailing cab or prostitute. 947. Republicans notoriously bad tippers; local actresses forced to pick up more shifts. 941. The Republican Party’s thinly veiled attempts to milk the 9/11 tragedy for political gain, as evidenced by: 940. Their decision to hold the convention here in the first place. 939. Their original plan, since canceled, to lay the foundation of the Freedom Tower during convention week. 938. The title of the convention’s opening night: "A Nation of Courage," featuring Rudy Giuliani. 937. RNC press release notes that Giuliani will "speak to the courage of the American people, seen through the acts of bravery of a city that saw tragedy and great acts of heroism on Sept.11, 2001." 936. In an interview with the New York Times, Giuliani says about 9/11: "It has to be an issue in the election. Not discussing it would be like conducting an election for Abraham Lincoln and not discussing the Civil War." 935. White House advisor Matthew Dowd says for Bush not to mention 9/11 "would be like Roosevelt not talking about Pearl Harbor." 934. In fact, Roosevelt didn’t mention Pearl Harbor at the 1944 Democratic convention. 933. Giuliani tells Meet the Press on the day before the convention starts: "My message will be one of leadership, that President Bush has demonstrated during maybe some of the most difficult days in our history." 932. Even though federal cuts have led to the closings of six New York City firehouses, Bush intends to visit a firehouse. 930. The Democrats opened the door for this with their own 9/11 tribute during DNC. 921. Osama bin Laden getting high and stuffing his face with Cheetos as he watches with amusement 920. Hitler-Jugend, Vol. 1: Winner of MTV’s Republican-inspired "Stand Up and Holla!" contest to speak at the convention. 919. Hitler-Jugend Vol. 1.A: Winner of MTV’s "Stand Up and Holla!" contest, Arkansas’ Princella Smith, said the president "inspires us to be what I call Generations X-ample...our generation of 18-year-old soldiers can take a stand." 918. They can take limb-severing shrapnel, too, but that goes unmentioned. 904. Absence of Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and Gary Bauer from speaking program leaves Rick Santorum as only entertaining religious loony in program. 929. You find yourself annoyed by the protesters, until you pick up the Daily News the editors bitching about the supporters of "anarchy or communism or nihilism or baby seals or Bobby Seale–whatever." 928. That’s when you wish that someone would do something really drastic. And then you’re back to being annoyed with the protesters.

I'm good, hopefully this time around, my computer won't kill my match again so I have to write 2500 words over. Note to self: AUTO SAVE!

Actually, looking at growth trends, it's more likely to be Mexifornia by 2025, but Meximerica by 2050 around when us whites drop below 50%. That's why Hispanics are the demographical political prize that they are. Because all the old and middle aged white guys know they've got to get in good so the elite whites can keep on passing their powers to their sons and daughters. :-) Of course, replace white and hispanic with WASP's and Irish/Italian and you've got the early-mid 20th century. Look how that turned out.

We’re Not in Lake Wobegon Anymore How did the Party of Lincoln and Liberty transmogrify into the party of Newt Gingrich’s evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk? By Garrison Keillor Something has gone seriously haywire with the Republican Party. Once, it was the party of pragmatic Main Street businessmen in steel-rimmed spectacles who decried profligacy and waste, were devoted to their communities and supported the sort of prosperity that raises all ships. They were good-hearted people who vanquished the gnarlier elements of their party, the paranoid Roosevelt-haters, the flat Earthers and Prohibitionists, the antipapist antiforeigner element. The genial Eisenhower was their man, a genuine American hero of D-Day, who made it OK for reasonable people to vote Republican. He brought the Korean War to a stalemate, produced the Interstate Highway System, declined to rescue the French colonial army in Vietnam, and gave us a period of peace and prosperity, in which (oddly) American arts and letters flourished and higher education burgeoned—and there was a degree of plain decency in the country. Fifties Republicans were giants compared to today’s. Richard Nixon was the last Republican leader to feel a Christian obligation toward the poor. In the years between Nixon and Newt Gingrich, the party migrated southward down the Twisting Trail of Rhetoric and sneered at the idea of public service and became the Scourge of Liberalism, the Great Crusade Against the Sixties, the Death Star of Government, a gang of pirates that diverted and fascinated the media by their sheer chutzpah, such as the misty-eyed flag-waving of Ronald Reagan who, while George McGovern flew bombers in World War II, took a pass and made training films in Long Beach. The Nixon moderate vanished like the passenger pigeon, purged by a legion of angry white men who rose to power on pure punk politics. “Bipartisanship is another term of date rape,” says Grover Norquist, the Sid Vicious of the GOP. “I don’t want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.” The boy has Oedipal problems and government is his daddy. The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons, hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who believe Neil Armstrong’s moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt’s evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk. Republicans: The No.1 reason the rest of the world thinks we’re deaf, dumb and dangerous. Rich ironies abound! Lies pop up like toadstools in the forest! Wild swine crowd round the public trough! Outrageous gerrymandering! Pocket lining on a massive scale! Paid lobbyists sit in committee rooms and write legislation to alleviate the suffering of billionaires! Hypocrisies shine like cat turds in the moonlight! O Mark Twain, where art thou at this hour? Arise and behold the Gilded Age reincarnated gaudier than ever, upholding great wealth as the sure sign of Divine Grace. Here in 2004, George W. Bush is running for reelection on a platform of tragedy—the single greatest failure of national defense in our history, the attacks of 9/11 in which 19 men with box cutters put this nation into a tailspin, a failure the details of which the White House fought to keep secret even as it ran the country into hock up to the hubcaps, thanks to generous tax cuts for the well-fixed, hoping to lead us into a box canyon of debt that will render government impotent, even as we engage in a war against a small country that was undertaken for the president’s personal satisfaction but sold to the American public on the basis of brazen misinformation, a war whose purpose is to distract us from an enormous transfer of wealth taking place in this country, flowing upward, and the deception is working beautifully. The concentration of wealth and power in the hands of the few is the death knell of democracy. No republic in the history of humanity has survived this. The election of 2004 will say something about what happens to ours. The omens are not good. Our beloved land has been fogged with fear—fear, the greatest political strategy ever. An ominous silence, distant sirens, a drumbeat of whispered warnings and alarms to keep the public uneasy and silence the opposition. And in a time of vague fear, you can appoint bullet-brained judges, strip the bark off the Constitution, eviscerate federal regulatory agencies, bring public education to a standstill, stupefy the press, lavish gorgeous tax breaks on the rich. There is a stink drifting through this election year. It isn’t the Florida recount or the Supreme Court decision. No, it’s 9/11 that we keep coming back to. It wasn’t the “end of innocence,” or a turning point in our history, or a cosmic occurrence, it was an event, a lapse of security. And patriotism shouldn’t prevent people from asking hard questions of the man who was purportedly in charge of national security at the time. Whenever I think of those New Yorkers hurrying along Park Place or getting off the No.1 Broadway local, hustling toward their office on the 90th floor, the morning paper under their arms, I think of that non-reader George W. Bush and how he hopes to exploit those people with a little economic uptick, maybe the capture of Osama, cruise to victory in November and proceed to get some serious nation-changing done in his second term. This year, as in the past, Republicans will portray us Democrats as embittered academics, desiccated Unitarians, whacked-out hippies and communards, people who talk to telephone poles, the party of the Deadheads. They will wave enormous flags and wow over and over the footage of firemen in the wreckage of the World Trade Center and bodies being carried out and they will lie about their economic policies with astonishing enthusiasm. The Union is what needs defending this year. Government of Enron and by Halliburton and for the Southern Baptists is not the same as what Lincoln spoke of. This gang of Pithecanthropus Republicanii has humbugged us to death on terrorism and tax cuts for the comfy and school prayer and flag burning and claimed the right to know what books we read and to dump their sewage upstream from the town and clear-cut the forests and gut the IRS and mark up the constitution on behalf of intolerance and promote the corporate takeover of the public airwaves and to hell with anybody who opposes them. This is a great country, and it wasn’t made so by angry people. We have a sacred duty to bequeath it to our grandchildren in better shape than however we found it. We have a long way to go and we’re not getting any younger. Dante said that the hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who in time of crisis remain neutral, so I have spoken my piece, and thank you, dear reader. It’s a beautiful world, rain or shine, and there is more to life than winning.

http://sports.yahoo.com/ncaaf/news?slug=ed...v=tsn&type=lgns Last week, the NCAA rejected Colorado's request to restore wide receiver Jeremy Bloom's eligibility. Bloom, who also is a standout freestyle skier, has battled the NCAA for the past two years to allow him to play for the Buffaloes while also accepting endorsements to fund his ski training. Bloom left Colorado's camp earlier this month and currently is training with the U.S. Ski Team near Santiago, Chile, in hopes of making the 2006 Olympic Games in Turin, Italy. Colorado, which hoped to have Bloom aboard to add speed and needed experience at receiver, has appealed the decision. I think I've been wrong about the caring folks at the NCAA all along. They have received way too much negative attention about their unwillingness to have an open mind concerning my unique athletic situation. As it turns out, their reasoning behind this decision has taught me some of the greatest lessons in my life. I owe them an apology, and I hope that after reading this, you, too, will understand this was just a case of an immature and over-ambitious 20-year-old asking an organization to allow unacceptable and selfish circumstances. Two years ago, I became a proud member of the 2002 Winter Olympics team and then won the World Cup overall title as a freestyle skier. Then, a few weeks later, the NCAA informed me that if it were to allow me to continue my financial means of paying for my trainer, nutritionist, physical therapist and agent for skiing, I would be endangering the core principle of amateurism as a college football player. Although at the time it seemed silly, looking back I believe they made the right call. It is true my relationship with those people would have been more damaging to the spirit of amateurism than, say, the University of Miami's relationship with star football recruit Willie Williams, who has been arrested 11 times since 1999. So I took their advice and dropped all my legitimate ski-related sponsors and enrolled at the University of Colorado, where I became a proud member of the football program and the social science department. Even though the NCAA denied multiple waivers to let me play football, at least it provided me with a lengthy and adequate response to why it felt the request was off-base. It read something like this: No. That response helped me to understand the value of a simplistic and concise answer to a question. If my coach, Gary Barnett, would have taken this approach when asked if Katie Hnida was a good football player, he never would have put himself in a position of conflict and would likely not have been placed on administrative leave by university president Elizabeth Hoffman. But that wasn't the end of my education by the NCAA. Before the first road trip of my collegiate career, Coach Barnett made it mandatory to wear a sport coat to the game. At the time I didn't own a sport coat, so I borrowed one from one of our trainers. The following week, during my weekly phone call from our compliance office, someone informed me that, due to NCAA rules, I would be fined $35 for a "rental fee." This is when I learned the NCAA holds a tight monopoly on the "rental business." In fact, it rents out college athletes every year. While I was in college, the NCAA rented me out to many different corporations and allowed me to play in endorsement-filled stadiums every week. The NCAA even allowed the university to sell a jersey with my school and my number on it in stores all over Colorado. I didn't get any of the money that was generated by this service, but at least the NCAA paid for my schooling, right? Well, no. Actually, the NCAA didn't pay a penny of my scholarship, and the university only paid half. The other half came from my "personal scholarship donor," a private citizen who donates money to Colorado to fund student-athlete scholarships. Now that the NCAA is finished with me, it simply will dismiss me, just like it does with thousands of student-athletes every year. And why wouldn't it, when it has thousands of fresh-faced, new student-athletes every year who are eager to join the cycle? While I was in college, the NCAA made more intelligent decisions than not. However, there was one decision that impacted someone else's life that is hard to forgive. Aaron Adair was a young man who battled brain cancer for a long portion of his life. He not only had enough heart to become part of the select few in the country to overcome the unthinkable disease, but he also possessed enough to make the University of Oklahoma's varsity baseball team. Aaron wrote his own book while he was in college, intending to give other cancer patients hope they too could win their battles with the disease. After his book was published, the compassionate and understanding folks at the NCAA ended Aaron's dream of playing baseball because his name was attached to a "corporate product." But life rolls on in the wonderful world of amateur athletics because the NCAA doesn't have to justify its decisions to anyone. They are the all-powerful people who make decisions that will have a positive impact on the "student-athlete." All of the lessons I learned from this organization will make me a rich man. Eventually, I think I'll start my own amateur business. I not only will provide housing and a positive working environment, I also will teach my employees the benefits of working as a team. And though I'll be making millions running this business, I will sympathetically tell my employees that paying them would corrupt the purity of my business and their learning experience. If they try to support themselves in other ways I find inappropriate, I'll dismiss them. And I'll laugh as I pull away in my Mercedes, because they're at my mercy, and I won't have to answer to anyone.

Don't you know, all welfare recieptients are all liars who have SUV's, plasma TV's, and boom boxes to play their hippity hop music. :-) If they'd just sacrifice, they could easily join the middle class.

You forget NoCal, if anything GOOD happens, it's because of Bush. If anything BAD happens, blame the Clenis.

Ah, right. Campaign stunts never happened before Moore.

*Yawn* Right wing chain letters are boring. I mean, Clinton? I swear, in 2048, the Republicans (or conservative Christians for Real Americans, whatever the party is called then) will still somehow be blaming Clinton for everything. On a side note, we're up to around 950 and we didn't ya' know, occupy Waco for years afterward.