Gary Floyd

It's even better when they sue McDonalds because they have diabetes.

The Cool Kids-"88"

13.) The Child (1977) Plot:A newly hired housekeepr must take care of a spoiled, troubled kid named Rosalie, who has telekinetic powers. She uses these powers to summon her friends-a group of malevolent zombies-to do her bidding. Review: "The Child" is a flawed but watchable entity. Shot for about $30,000, the movie played in drive ins and Grindhouses as part of a double bill with Fredrick Friedels' odd Axe, and is something of a minor cult classic in some respects. The movie has it's share of flaws: poor acting (Rosalie Cole is particularly annoying as the evil Rosalie), and the score (an overbearing mix of bad synth squalls and overwrought piano), as well as taking what feels like an eternity to get going. When it does get going though, the movie picks up considerably. The onslaught of the undead, while not huge, is still great stuff, and the make up effects for the zombies is quite good and original, especially when you consider the budget. The movie eventually channels Night of the Living Dead with it's zombie seige conclusion, though it still works. "The Child" is not a perfect movie, and doesn't exactly come with a recommendation, but it's a decent timewaster, and would make a great double bill with Bob Clark's Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things. Rating: 6.5 "The Child" is a cult oddity that should please fans of mini-budget weirdness. Next on the plate: The Swamp of the Ravens

"Bug" is a brilliant movie that Lionsgate marketed wrong. If anything, it's a character drama first, a horror movie second, and a black comedy third. Anyways, obese people in movie theaters annoy me. They have all these artery clogging foods (and diet soda-what is with fat people and diet soda?), and seeing their grease soaked fingers and lips horfing down the stuff loudly gets to me to no end. The fact that they are really loud and obnoxious doesn't help either.

Banders was a great gimmick though.

Hey Bruiser, you were right about The Bake Sale EP.

Dear Green Party: You are Idiots

I remember seeing him on both "The Daily Show" and "Real Time" (a show I don't watch often) and he seemed like a really nice guy.

I'll try to give the book a shot sometime Rando. Anyways, I'm reading "The Ghastly One: The Sex-Gore Netherworld of Filmmaker Andy Milligan" at the moment.

Jesus, don't go to the Fark thread about Snow's death, as it has some of the stupidest comments on the net I've read in a long time. No wonder I usually avoid the place.

12.) Junk (2000) Plot: A team of petty Jewel thieves find themselves fighting for their lives when the factory they are in turns out to be infested with zombies-including a hot naked chick. Review: Take one part Tarantino knock off, one part Re-Animator, one part Return of the Living Dead 3, and three parts Italian zombie movie, and you get "Junk"- a derivative, unoriginal, but really fun zombie movie that plays like the best one Italy never made-only it's from Japan. The movie borrows liberally from from a variety of movies (the ones mentioned above, as well as Day of the Dead, Bruno Mattei's so bad it's brilliant Hell of the Living Dead, and a few others), yet somehow, it ends up being a blast. The gore is great and plentiful (including quite an original scene where a zombie consumes it's own flesh), as the undead eat human flesh with relish, and people shoot, stab, electrocute, etc. them with gusto. Oh, and there's a hot naked zombie chick (well, she's naked most of the time-when she's not, she's in tight leather) with big tits whose also smarter, faster, and smarter than the other zombies in the movie. While the movie is unoriginal and derivative, that fact is never distracting. What is distracting though, is the English speaking/American actors, who are so bad, it's painful. I'm talking bad local theater production levels bad. You'll cringe whenever they appear on screen. Still, "Junk" is a blast of mindless cheesy fun, and is a perfect "pack of beer with friends" movie. Rating: 7.5/10 Derivative nature and poor acting aside, "Junk" is still a a lot of fun, though it doesn't have much on the mind. Next Time: The Child

I loved it. Better than the first one IMO. If you can't love that, then there is something wrong with you.

I love it when you post cat pictures.

Gamera is friend to all children.

11.) Zombie Holocaust (1980) Plot: Dr. Obrero * (Dan O' Brien) is experimenting on corpses on a remote Island. Well, an expedition team (which includes Zombi 2's Ian McCulloch) ends up on the island-and runs into the Docotor, who has some plans-as well as cannibals and zombies-in store for them. Review: Titled "Dr Butcher M.D." when it came to video in the 80's, "Zombie Holocaust" is an interesting-and fun-blend of two different kinds of Italian Gore flicks: The Italian Zombie movie, and the Italian Cannibal movie-only without any of the animal torture and mutilation of the later. The movie has some nice gore (surgical and otherwise-including an awesome motorboat engine to the head death) and nudity to liven things up, as well as a fun score and tons of camp. Also, unlike other Italian gore flicks of the time, the movie features a little intentional humor to go with it ("The patients screaming disturbed me, performed removal of vocal chords"-that line always gets me), which after the downbeat feeling of Fulci's zombie movies, is something of a breath of undead air. It's nice to see an Italian gore flick that doesn't take itself too seriously for a change. If there is any problem, it's that the zombie aspect feels rather underplayed, as they aren't used for much. Sure, there's that aforementioned death by boat motor, but they don't do a whole lot to threaten the team, as the cannibals are more of a threat. Still, "Zombie Holocaust" is a blast of exploitation that fans of over the top Italian Horror might enjoy. I know I did. *In case you ever wondered where I got the old username Dr Obrero, now you know. Rating: 3/10 as a zombie movie, but 8/10 as a fun exploitation movie. I recommend it. Tomorrow: Junk

"Dirty Work" has, bar none, the best dead hookers joke of all time.

Milky, I love that avatar. I used to kick ass on that game (as Diablo though, but that's a different story.)

Wow, nobody has ever seen that.

Alright, who else is seeing it tomorrow night?

10.) Frozen Scream (1981) * Plot: Mad Scientists (including late minor cult movie icon Renee Harmon) discover a new technology that turns people into remote controlled/frozen zombies that kill. Review: "Frozen Scream" isn't just a bad movie-it's a frustrating one at that. The premise (though campy) is at least original, yet it fails. Why? Well for starters, the acting (save Harmon, who's icy, emotionless performance is sort of interesting) is dreadful. Harmon is clearly the only person in the movie with any acting experience, as everybody else obviously has little to no experience in the field. The only things that break the tedium are the loud (and weird) electronic score (half of the movies cues are from the notably awful backwoods slasher flick Don't Go In The Woods-which H. Kingsley Thurber also scored) and the (unconvincing) gore effects, both of which have a weird low budget charm. The biggest problems though, are the inability to do anything with the interesting premise, and the general uneventfulness of the whole thing. The movie has a goofy but original premise, but it never realizes the potential that it has. Instead, people just babble on incessantly about immortality. It's a movie where you keep waiting for something-anything- to happen, and while a few things do happen (eyeball violence is always welcome), not enough does happen. Still, it's at least better than the Shot On Camcorder zombie movies reviewed here, though that isn't saying much. * The IMDB and a few other sources may say that the movie was made and released in 1975- but it actually came out in 1981. Rating: 3/10 There's some minor pluses, but they are far too many minuses to make it good. Instead, "Frozen Scream" is a total bore. Next Movie: Zombie Holocaust

Disillusioned intellectual "You laugh at me because I'm different" "I laugh at you because you are all the same"

y does everyone move their faces away? i would just sit still with my nose up her pussie and let her fart on me. all the time id be saying more more more more.