RavishingRickRudo

Don't you guys have another board where you can bitch about this? I'm gathering it's all the same people who have the problem, which really has nothing to do with HTQ's performance as a mod, and only represents a tiny portion of posters in the WWE folder. *HTQ has an avatar of a puppy-dog* RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!! MOD CHANGE!!! RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!! HE HURT MY FEELINGS!!! RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!!!

WCW in 2000 at least had some things to get excited about. I can't recall getting excited about a single thing that went on in the WWE during 2005. The most interesting thing was Matt Hardy getting fired cause Lita fucked Edge and the crowd biting on it, and the only hand the WWE had in that was firing the dude and then burying him after his return. Woopee~! WCW had a 2 week period where they showed signs of being a good wrestling company, which is two weeks more than the WWE.

WCW in 2000 had you at least hoping for the company to get better and that they were trying to change and get better (their idea of better just sucked). WWE in 2005 established that all hope is lost. They are clearly not trying to improve, they are clearly happy where they are, and they clearly are never going to change.

*Hugs VHS WM Collection*

I cannot explain it. I can only laugh at it, and quote Gene Siskel, who liked to say, ''Two things are not debatable: eroticism, and comedy. If you don't think it's sexy, or funny, there's no way I can change your mind.'' - Roger Ebert

I was thinking Bonnar/Griffin would top off the TUF Season 1.

Horn vs. Mikhail Avetisyan HOLEE SHIT. This was 5 minutes of pure fucking awesomeness. How come I've never heard this fight pimped? JEEEEESUS. Constant reversals and sweet ass grappling. Too much to even write about. The finish was SICK. I'm gathering from the fact that the Russian Dude never fought again that Horn fucked his arm up somethin fierce. SHIT. **** at least. Forrest vs. Sonnen. Ooooh Forrest has a nice guard, I liked the way he'd move and pivot on his hips throughout, not letting Sonnen get full control on the ground. A nifty triangle as well, I loved the way he manipulated Sonnens arm and moved his leg up for the choke. Good stuff.

Speaking of Babalu... IFC: Global Domination on-going review... COMMENCE! Alright, Marquardt vs. Gomm to start. "How about a lil more ring girl touchin each other and stuff?" This ring announcer is a douche... which has been a prerequisite for all US MMA ring announcers since the sports inception. Jens Pulver, Ryan Bennett, and.. Big Poppa Schnake? The fight was pretty short, good hands by Marquardt as well as good positioning skills, the size difference was too much for Gomm and there ya have it. Not a very impressive performance by Marquardt, but a good one nonetheless. Given the way Gomm would just cover up whenever Marquardt feinted, I am still left questioning Nates explosiveness even if he did dominate. A little more aggression and him vs. Franklin would be a good fight and the supreme battle of crackers. BPS is very annoying. UNGODLY annoying, even. I'd still put him miles ahead of the ROH guys... Babalu vs. Prangley is up next. Jens, on the other hand, kicks the ass announcing. Wow. The first round of this sucks the ass. The majority of it is Babalu in Prangleys guard doin some lacklustre GnP. The ref should have stood them up. The bell rings when the clock says 4:51. The second round starts MUCH better, with Prangley comin in throwin leather and Babalu feelin game. Babalu tags him a few times while Prangley is throwing wild and not landing at all. Sobral gets Prangleys back and BOOYAKAKAKAKA, German Suplex~! GODDAMN that was a pretty suplex. Prangley gets up and looks to be on rubber legs. The action soon stops as Babalu has Prangley on his back and it's more of the same from Rd1. God this ref sucks. He FINALLY stands them up, after the crowd has been yelling "STAND THEM UP!!". A few seconds after the stand-up and Babalu gets a nice doubleleg and puts Prangley down again. The Ref STOPS the fight because of a fucking mouthpiece and Prangley has a look of "The fuck?" on his face and he and Babalu wait there on the ground. Babalu hits some nice shots from the guard occasionally, but I wouldn't exactly call this exciting. Effective GnP? Yes. But at no point does it look like Babalu is going to finish it with those strikes from inside the guard. Prangley SWEEPS Babalu from guard and that fucking ruled. The round ends with Babalu throwing elbows from his back, trying for an armbar, and Prangley finally landing a good shot. Trevor looks TIRED and banged up, Babalu looks like he's out for a stroll. 3rd round begins unlike the others - with a touch of the gloves. Prangley needs to improve his foot work, because it looks like he's wearing concrete shoes out there. A lil flurry of punches before a low blow. Pranley apologizes. Babalu is like "no problem". The ref is like "HUH?!", Trevor is like "Dude, I low blowed him", and the ref says "YOU DID?!". Wow, this guy is the white Cecil Peoples. The ref calls for a time out, though its clear Babalu doesn't want it because that just gives Prangley time to recover and rest. I am LOVING Babalu's punches right now, quick and straight, just hows I likes the lovins. Sobral goes for a shoot, Prangley sprawls, but Babalu manages to duck under and get a front face lock much to Pulvers enjoyment. Prangley gets guard and he looks really banged up and the cut around his eye should be checked. Instead of doing that, the ref slaps his leg away from the fence while trying for a sub... apparently you can't do that. Ref stands them up a lot quicker this time and Babalu lands a Luke Cummo front kick to the face. Prangley ties Sobral up with a whizzer before Babalu slips to the mat after trying for a knee (the third time someone has slipped on the canvas so far). On his back, Babalu shows an impressive guard, managing to get his hips up high, putting his arm under Prangleys leg and securing an armbar a few seconds after Prangley got him down. Trevor quickly gets out of the armbar but then just as quickly falls prey to a leglock -falls back- and Babalu goes into his guard. The ref stands them up again pretty fast -to clean a fallen mouthpiece- and keeps them standing. The fight stops shortly after. The announcers loved the match, I liked it but it was more of a fight with great moments than a great fight. It was largely contested in Prangleys guard, and most of that time kinda sucked. Everything else was really good, though. That Cummo Kick was actually better than Lukes version. The fight goes to a decision and Babalu wins. Bennett talks about both guys giving it their all - that might have been Prangley, but Babalu was holding back and that's shown while he's waiting for the decision as he doesn't look tired at all. Nevertheless, he showed very well-rounded skills... I just wish he was more active in Prangleys guard (I don't think he ever looked to improve his position during the numberous times he was in there. A solid ***, maybe ***1/4. SHOGUN is up next! A few notes about his introduction... MAN he looks skinny here. Bennett talks about Shogun having No Fear. And they say he's a KyokushinKai fighter which is just... is this the new hot style? Both Shogun and GSP are Kyokushin, that's fucking nuts. Could this be the new Judo in MMA? Shogun is from Curabita, Brazil, apparently. And he is fighting under one name here. I dunno if that was his choice or theirs. A few notes about Erik Wanderleis introduction, he is Big Poppa Schnakes saucy saucy lover. The fight begins and Shogun comes out Shoguns-a-blazing (HHHHHHA!) and knocks Wanderlei down twice in short succession. He's a fucking killer. On the ground, Erik very nicely gets Shoguns leg, but Shogun blocks by triangling his legs. Shogun defends well and eventually gets out of it, stands up, kicks Wanderlei's legs, and then surprisingly goes for a kneebar. Erik gets the better of the situation and tries for a toe hold which Shogun gets out of it and gets Wanderleis back from the side. Shnacke annoys me with his constant shjuh-shjitsu.. IT'S JUH JIT SOO YOU FRENCH FAGGOT! Wanderlei impressively spins over and puts Shogun on his back. Rua likes his guard like he likes his relationships... Open. Bah-zing. The round closes with Erik in Shoguns half-guard, which he likes like he likes his women... triangled. Uh... Bah-zing? Very exciting, very fun first round. Second round opens with Shogun throwing and Wanderlei shooting. Erik has his nuts in Shoguns face for a good portion of the second round as he tries to escape from Shoguns (rather crappy) half guard. He successfully gets full mount and looks to be going for a mounted triangle. I've tried that before. He, unlike me, rolls to his back to get the more traditional triangle but Shogun breaks free but gets put in a quick omoplata which is unsuccessful and Shogun gets to his feet and is all like "TS'ON NAH" and Wanderlei is like "NAH TSNAHT" and takes Shogun down with a single leg trip and apparently Shogun smacks his head on the fall. Wanderlei tries for mount again but Shogun "tilts" as Jens says (or as Schnake would say "Shju-ens") over and gets up and is all like "TS'ON NAH AGEEN" and Wanderlei is like "NINJA PLEASE!" and Shogun is like "NINJA?! I'M SHOGUN!" *boop* and he smacks Wanderlei with an upper-cut / right straight combo that puts him down and the ref stops it shortly afterwards. Poor conditioning (he took the fight on 3 days notice) and a shitty chin let that happen for Erik Wanderlei. Really fun fight. ***1/2, maybe ***3/4.

So yeah, I've enjoyed 2005 way too much not to glorify it in an immensely melo-dramatic fashion. I don't have a place to put it yet, obviously it will be posted here, but I'll shop it around to different websites as well, since I haven't really seen a comprehensive look at the year that was and I imagine we can get it at least posted at WO.com and Liveaudiowrestling.com. I am doing it per story, rather than month by month. Those stories can follow fighters, fights, television shows, and events. I plan on including fight reviews as well, since there were lots of good ones. If anyone is interested, say what you'd be interested in writing and I'll put it together. Some possible topics: Fedor vs. Cro Cop Takanori Gomi and BU-SHOOTO Bushido the Tournament The Rise of Shogun The fall of Wanderlei Silva Joachim Hansen Georges St. Pierre Chuck Liddell Evan Tanner and Rich Franklin Andrei Arlovski TUF 1 TUF 2 I think broad-sweeping topics that can cover the year rather than just one point in time are best, but if anyone wants to just write a short piece, that'll be cool as well. We have some good writers here, I hope to get something together to show that.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7...931097178&q=mma - A surreal video detailing Fedor vs. Cro Cop http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5...29582076&q=gomi - Gomi vs. Azeredo http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=43...886452328&q=ufc - Lyoto vs. Franklin http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=45...741974449&q=bas - Kickass Bas Rutten HL

Evan Tanner vs. David Terrell** Andrei Arlovski vs. Tim Sylvia Forrest Griffin vs. Stephan Bonnar Matt Hughes vs. Frank Trigg #2 Chuck Liddell vs. Randy Couture** Andrei Arlovski vs. Justin Eilers** Kenny Florian vs. Alex Karalexis Mike Swick vs. Gideon Ray Drew Fickett vs Josh Neer* Josh Koshcheck vs. Pete Spratt James Irvin vs. Terry Martin Georges St-Pierre vs. Frank Trigg Tim Sylvia vs. Tra Telligman Chuck Liddell vs. Jeremy Horn** Spencer Fisher vs. Thiago Alves* Brock Larson vs Jon Fitch* (*Never before seen fights) (**Never before seen fights on free-tv)

The US Military is the single most powerful force in the universe. Next to Gravity and Hulkamania, of course.

I really have no desire to see either wrestle at this point. Once upon a time I really liked Daniels, more for his Curryman stuff (Superboy~!) that his Fallen Angel stuff, but the matches I've seen of his in TNA recently don't really do anything for me. Angle is probably more frustrating to watch, however. The dude does a lot of goofy stuff and what he does do well, he doesn't even know how to incorporate it properly into a match. Daniels strings together a match better, but I'd say Angle has better timing than Daniels when it comes to individual things and working within the WWE formula. That said, I'd put Angles best match over Daniels' best match. I don't want to use the term "awful" wrestlers, but I've been watching a lot of Kiyoshi Tamura lately and guys like Angle and Daniels are almost jokes compared to that stuff.

http://www.mma.tv/tuf/index.cfm?FID=1&a=724&TID=0 Hendo's Underground Thread I found Arona/Fedor and Yanagisawa/Fedor to be very enjoyable fights (the Yanagisawa in particular, the first *40 seconds* had more action than the entire Salaverry/Marquardt fight with Fedor getting the takedown, sidemount, north-south, Yanas back and rolling him and trying for a choke - that fight blew me away) and you could hardly say that Fedor was playing it safe in those fights - whenever he had a chance he went for a submission. The Ultimate Fighter 2 Finale, I think, showed the motivation of television, and is more proof for it than Florian/Diego is against it. I think both guys (Salaverry and Marquardt) were more scared of losing because they knew this was for a title shot. TV has been a big positive, IMO, when it comes to quality of fights. Hopefully we'll see more of it in a few weeks with UFN3.

**Spoilers within** My take on Clooney looking to save Nasir is that he was lied to. The reason he was given to kill Nasir by the Government was that "he was a bad guy". The truth was that it was because of the oil merger and Christopher Plummer was pulling the strings. Nasir was still going to die, Clooney had to save him (a)Because it was the right thing to do, (b)To fuck-over whomever was trying to fuck him over, and ©He never left the middle-east in the 80's. He's stuck in the past. Any reason to go over there is a good one, for him. The scene with him and Plummer in the diner was fucking badass. "This is guaranteed". The Lawyer storyline was maybe my favourite, just because you didn't know what to think about it until it all came down. You thought the dude was a good guy and you expect him to, like, come through in the end and say "this is wrong!" but in the end, he's what Plummer said he was - a Lion. Like, seriously, up until the final moments of that movie, I was STILL expecting him to come clean. And he doesn't. You think that Government and the Business are working against each other, but they aren't. You think that him looking for problems -looking for someone to screw- is to protect the company, or he's a turncoat and he's really working for the government. But what he's doing is giving some lambs for the slaughter so the merger can go through. The Government can't just let it happen, the public would be outraged, there has to be some casualties, some losses, some "due diligence" because no corporation is clean, there is always some form of corruption and the Government wanted the public to know they were looking into it and there's no better way of saying "we're on it" than putting people -big names- in jail. The scene in the car is very telling of the relationship between government and business. "He's not enough". And the scene where Chris Cooper is wondering if the lawyer has a wire on him, even though he had a certain amount of security - everyone is watching their back and covering their asses.

Spoilers within. Fucking amazing movie. It's about corruption, the corporatization of government, about compromise and ambition, about lines and where to draw them, it is an apolitical film at the same time as being a film about politics. There's no mention of democrats or republicans, there are no senators or the ilk. This is about the system and how it works and how it doesn't matter if the parties change, those in the system won't. To the reviewer who said this was like Traffic, it's like Traffic only on the surface (Government, Geopolitics, and a Current Event). This is a 100% serious movie, there's no humour at all, which is kind of a lil off-putting for someone who is used to a formulaic standard of screenwriting. This doesn't have a formula. It is wonderfully crafted and to write it off because you disagree with its stance on the issues is, well... actually, you know what, those who have already formed an opinion on it, well I am happy you won't get to see it. So go watch King Kong. Enjoy it. Stay away from this film. I loved how they just put you in without a lot of pretense or set up or exposition. You had to figure it out along the way. The movie seemed to take forever, and I mean that in the best possible way. I could have sworn it went over 3 hours, just because there was so much stuff in it to follow and you never took your eyes of the screen. You never stopped thinking while watching the film and you never stopped thinking an hour after you saw it. The film is about perception, and yours will change when watching this movie. The bad guys become good, the good become bad, and in the end there really is no good or bad, just self-interests. Very strong performances across the board, especially from Christopher Plummer. He was the key figure in the movie, in my view, with the way he manipulated both the foreign interests and the domestic ones, while being completely behind the scenes. It's hard to say exactly who manipulates who and who has the power, but I'm pretty sure Plummer is the central figure and true power player. I love the way Government and Business interact, how its topical in the big mergers/megacorps, globalization, etc. but yet universal in the "I scratch your back" kind of way and how the desire for money and power corrupts. I liked the parallelling of Clooney and Damons character. I liked how Clooneys character evolved and the sort of irony of his situation. The film presented good guys in the film, but are they really good when looking at your own self-interests? I found that part fascinating and I don't think I can resolve that question within myself just right now. I know Canada is a lot more open in this sort of thing than the States are, and I think that is as much of a damning quality as it is a reflection of Canadas open economy. I love how this film was real. It was real. You watch this stuff, and how it takes things that *are* happening today, puts a spin on it, and you believe it. This is the stuff you read in the newspaper everyday, on tv every night, and you don't give it a second thought. This managed to relate corporate mergers with suicide bombers, and goddamn if it didn't do a convincing job of it. The only negative, and its not really a negative, was the portrayal of the suicide bombers. Its a bit of a cliche nowadays to humanize suicide bombers - not that it's a bad thing, because different perspectives are necessary, it's just... cliched... the final image of the boat is particularly haunting. I almost feel that the story could have been equally effective if it left the two guys out, but in away it's essential to the film and the story and how "what goes around comes around". That the collateral damage goes both ways and that you can't get away from the effects of, basically, globalization. No one got away clean in this. And one has to wonder if it's all a necessary evil. I'd like to know what scenes "made no sense".

Part of me wants to give him a second chance, but goddamn I was burned that first time. That fight was one of the most anticipated fights, for me. I woke up that morning like it was Christmas day and I was 7.

Somehow, I doubt a guy who had already put on his fair share of safe and/or boring fights in RINGS would've thought to himself, "Geez, lots of people are watching. I guess I better throw caution to the wind and risk blowing my big league debut." Yeah, cause he certainly wasn't thinking "Geez, this guy is really fucking big..." There's "safe" fighting, and then there's Marquardt/Salaverry which was essentially no fighting. There's "(not) throwing caution to the wind" and then there's being a fucking pussy. On national TV, when the sport is just getting exposure, you don't go out and act like a pussy. Taking chances is a part of fighting, and those two simply refused to do so. Fedor, at the very least, took chances against Schilt. Because he had to. Because he was fighting to win. Win by decision? Yes. But he was fighting to win. I can't think of a boring Fedor fight from RINGs. Granted, I still need to see one more of his matches, but even against Babalu, he landed some great body shots that made it entertaining. And he took plenty of chances in RINGS, he'd go for submissions when ever he had the chance. Seriously dude, you're more knowledgable than me, but this was one of the dumber things you've written. Ask Aaron Riley, Gerald Strebendt, Dave Strasser, Jeff Monson, etc. if the UFC would rather have guys who thrill and show a lot of heart in defeat, or guys who would rather follow the MFS attitude of "Just win, baby!" It's a bit of both. Of course the UFC won't want you fighting on their shows if you continuously lose, but equally, they don't want you to continually stall either. That's why you see someone like Rich Franklin on top of their division being protected, because the dude is an exciting fighter who wins. That's (most likely) why Matt Lindland isn't there any more, the dude wins, the could has a good shot at being Franklin, but he's nowhere near as exciting as Franklin. When was the last boring fight a MFS fighter was in in the UFC? Of all their champions right now, would you consider a single one of them "boring" in the ring? Right now, we're lucky, because (most of) the best fighters in the world are the best because they take those chances and they make for exciting fights. So it's one in the same. They've never mentioned Marquardt's name (or Salaverrys) since their fight. Meanwhile, Stephan Bonnar -the loser of Bonnar/Griffin- is all over the place. So you have Marquardt, a top contender in his division, not getting a single word said about him, and Stephan Bonnar, a dude who is nowhere near the top 10, getting all this attention. The UFC, in 2005, is rewriting history. Their primary goal is to push the fighters they want to push, for whatever reason that is. But you can't deny that in 2005, with national television, there has been a premium put on making fights exciting. White paid all those guys on the TUF2 finals bonuses given their performances. If Marquardt managed to win that fight in an exciting fashion, I can guarantee you we would have heard his name and seen his face since August. He guessed wrong. But they should seriously bring Strebendt back, that dude was fucking awesome against Thompson. But the beating Strebendt at this point means nothing. The UFC books fights that creates stars and contenders, as well as ones that entertain. They try not to have too many jobber matches.

Fedor/Schilt wasn't the main event on live national television, not-to-mention Fedor did a helluva lot more than Marquardt in that fight despite his fight being boring. Miller excited more in one kip up than Nate did the entire fucking fight. Unforgivable given the circumstances. I don't want to see fighters in there who fight "not to lose".

Steph seems more like the take-a-dump-on-my-chest kinda gal.

Cheating on Steph is just about the most self-destructive thing HHH can do... ... But then again, HHH did have sex with Chyna (which, btw, is THE most self-destructive thing).

No matter how hard this movie tries, it will never, ever, EVER, ever, ever, EVER reach the greatness of COMMANDO.

"When a girl has a heart of stone, there's only one way to melt it. Just add Ice." THIS TAG LINE DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!

*Film begins with a narration by an old man and a gust of snow (like a snow globe) revealing the city streets. As the narration continues the shot slowly zooms in to reveal John Cena* Narrator: Once upon a time, there was a boy. And he was the happiest boy in Boston. Until one day something very bad happened and that happy boy became vvvveeerrry angry. He was very mean to people, and as he grew up and used his gift of rhyming words to hurt others. He then became a professional wrestler so he could hurt others for a living. And that boy’s name was John… was John… was… was… *Before the shot totally reveals John Cena, it quickly turns to the old man as he is reading from a large, red, book. A small, elf-life, person comes to his side right away* Elf: Santa? Santa? Are you alright? Santa: Yes Olar, I am fine… it’s just, there is so much hate and rage in that man that it hurts me to think about it. Elf: So why don’t you stop thinking about it? *Santa smiles* Santa: Oh Olar, but then how… how… how… Elf: Santa??? Santa: Quick, Olar, I am not as well as I say I am… I need you… I need you… I need you to take this book and follow the instructions very carefully, there isn’t much time… you must… you must do it exactly as it says, without questioning…. Christmas must come this year, and you must find my replacement. *Return to the shot of Cena on the sidewalk* *John Cena is walking along the sidewalk, rap-music playing in the background, Christmas shoppers all around him carrying bags of gifts, a graphic appears on the screen which says “December 21st”. * *He collides with a man carrying a load of presents. The man falls down and drops all the gifts* Cena: YO MAN! Watch where you steppin! Man: I’m, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there. Cena: That’s right, that’s right, that’s cause YOU CAN’T SEE ME! *Cena does his hand-in-front-of-face thing* Man: I’m sorry. Cena: Yeah, you sorry alright. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick your ass right now! *The man is shocked* Man: It’s Christmas. *A small boy walks into the scene* Boy: Daddy, Daddy, are you all right? Man: Yes, I’m fine… I just.. slipped… that’s all. *A slight change in expression comes upon Cena’s face – one of regret -, until realizes it and changes it immediately back to his more usual angry look.* Cena: Yeah, he slipped. *Cena pushes the man down again* Cena: Your lucky it’s Christmas, or else you’d be dead right now. *Cena takes one of the gifts walks off with a smirk on his face, leaving the boy and the man left to pick up the rest of the presents* *Later That Night* Exec: The time is now, John! The time is nooooooooooooow... *Cena is visited by a large jovial man who is grinning from ear to ear, eating and drinking like seven men.* Cena: What's up? You're Andre the Giant! Andre: Ah am ze ghost of wrestling Christmas passssssst. Ho-gawnnnnnn! Cena: Hogan? Andre: Sorry. We must go back to ze past now. (time warp) Andre: There are you are, working with your mentor, PN News. One day you swore you would make it to the big time and be a white rapping wrestler just like he did. Cena: Yeah! Yeah that was me! Good old PN News. He threw some wack Christmas parties. Mantaur always been crashin' 'em though. Andre: And now PN News is gone. Cena: He died? Andre: For all general intents and purposes....yes. Yes he did. Remember how you swore to him that you would keep it real, John? You haven't been. Cena: Well times change, big man, I hate to trouble you. But that guy was over in WCW! It don't matter. Andre: But PN News fell off too. Soon, his "yo baby yo" got much worse, and he paid the price! Learn from the past, John....LEARN FROM THE PAST!!! You will be visited by another spirit soon, John. *The Ghost disappears.* Cena: That's as intelligible as Andre the Giant has ever been. Whoa. *A second spirit enters. Trish Stratus comes in wearing a sheer white gown.* Trish: Oh John! Cena: Thank you Santa! Oh yeah! I'll stuff YOUR stocking, baby. Trish: I am the ghost of wrestling Christmas present. What you did to those people today was just not cool. Let's go over and see how they're doing. Cena: You wanna make me feel bad Trish, you're outta luck. I'm here in my bedroom so why don't we just-- Trish: Family programming, John. Cena: Whatev. *Trish transports Cena to the run-down bungalow in which the man and boy lived. They look in their window and see the mother laboring over the stew for tomorrow's meal. The children are fighting, gunshots can be heard down the street. The father is checking the gifts that he dropped when Cena pushed him down, and finds out almost all of them, especially a snow globe he bought for his wife, have been broken. Another Christmas gone, it seems.* Cena: Aw dammit! I can't believe this. If I had only known they were poor, I wouldn't have played it like that. How do I get outta this one, Trish? Trish: There's still going to be time, John. But I'm afraid my time here is done. I need to teach that Gayda bitch how to take a clothesline. Again. Merry Christmas, John! I wish you the best! *Trish exits.* Cena: Well according to formula there should be one more. *The Undertaker shows up in biker garb.* Cena: Deadman Inc.? I thought I was done with you. Taker: You know who I am. Cena: Aw come on man. You gotta operate! Be all ominous, all "I am the ghost of wrestling Christmas yet to come! Taker: ... Cena: Come on! Don't let me down! Taker: ...I ain't feelin' it. Cena: This sucks. And you're supposed to look like Death and everything. You of all people could've dragged out the throwbacks. Taker: I'm done with that phase. No. Cena: Well if you're gonna be such a crappy Reaper figure, give the position to one of the newly dead wrestlers. They'd scare me straight. Taker: I ain't givin' up my spot. Cena: Now I see it! If I don't do something to clean up, the future...is going to be the present! Thanks, spirit! Taker: You didn't shake my hand before this vision ended. Now I'm gonna make you pay. *UT shows Cena a scene of Cena's grave, as the rookies from Raw dance on it.* Cena: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Cena wakes up. Realizing he must change, he buys a turkey dinner for the family he almost ruined Christmas for. To replace their gifts, he got them some mad crazy bling-bling, and some mad throwbacks. Billy, the son, got the rainbow-skyline Denver Nuggets jersey. Janie, the daughter, received the MPLS. Lakers. And Tiny Tazz, the injured youngster, got an old Philadelphia Flyers sweater. Tazz: Yay! Orange is my favorite color! Cena: Word life, Tazz! Tazz: Word life, Cena! WORD LIFE, EVERYONE! And that's how John Cena discovered the true meaning of Christmas.

Yes, he figuratively walked her dog on camera. He metaphorically got her hand lotion.