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Giuseppe Zangara

Ask Incandenza

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Incadenza, why is my cousin obsessed with Gary Cherone? Dammit he has bootlegs of Extreme and Van Halen with Cherone! Why dammit why?

Way back in 1990, when your cousin was 14--don't argue with me here, he was 14 in 1990 and you shan't state otherwise--he first heard Extreme's second album, the at-the-time recently released Extreme II: Pornograffiti. There was something about Gary Cherone, with his effeminate, yet forceful voice--like a really angry flower (you know, one of those stinky corpse flowers that only bloom once a year or something)--that made him tingle, made him question what direction his burgeoning sexuality was taking him. His confusion was only furthered by the illicit delight he felt throughout his young body when Cherone saliciously squealed that the listener "Get the Funk Out." You would be obsessed with him, too.

 

Those were different times, then. We were all a little crazy.

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Incandenza, why don't you like me?

I don't hate you. I merely despise the pathetic way you toss about a bunch of one-sided, questionable statistics as if they were a perfect justification to hate Mexicans (and other minority groups, as well).

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Incandenza, I have one more question. Hopefully your vast knowledge encompasses what I'm about to ask you...

 

When one has ingested hallucinogenic mushrooms, is it better to be in the forest or in the city? SUBQUESTION: If one were to be drug tested for such an offense, would the mushrooms show up on a standard urine test, or would a hair-follicle test be required? I understand the whole spinal fluid thing, but I'm just wondering about other methods of testing.

 

Thank you for your time, chief.

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Incandenza, I have one more question. Hopefully your vast knowledge encompasses what I'm about to ask you...

 

When one has ingested hallucinogenic mushrooms, is it better to be in the forest or in the city? SUBQUESTION: If one were to be drug tested for such an offense, would the mushrooms show up on a standard urine test, or would a hair-follicle test be required? I understand the whole spinal fluid thing, but I'm just wondering about other methods of testing.

 

Thank you for your time, chief.

You're asking the wrong person.

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Aren't you that Kinetic fella?

 

And if so aren't you supposed to be in the Air Force or some shit?

 

How's your Grandma and Grandpa that you were living with down there?

 

And don't you think that your Metal Ed gimmick is better than this Incandenza one Kinetic?

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Which gets more ladies, telling them you're Incandenza or telling them you're Kinetic?

 

 

Why do rappers want me to throw my hands in the air and not care about them?

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Guest Agent of Oblivion
Incandenza, I have one more question. Hopefully your vast knowledge encompasses what I'm about to ask you...

 

When one has ingested hallucinogenic mushrooms, is it better to be in the forest or in the city? SUBQUESTION: If one were to be drug tested for such an offense, would the mushrooms show up on a standard urine test, or would a hair-follicle test be required? I understand the whole spinal fluid thing, but I'm just wondering about other methods of testing.

 

Thank you for your time, chief.

You're asking the wrong person.

ahem, I'll field this one.

 

ANY kind of hallucinogenics depends on the person. If you like the woods. Go in the woods. If you like the city, stay in the city. Whatever you do though, don't sit still. Tripping your ass off is generally more fun when you're doing something relatively harmless, like tending a campfire, or swimming with no supervision. Shallow water is your friend, as it's interesting to look at and feels neat. Whatever you do though, make it enjoyable.

 

Mushrooms will flush from a clean system in less than a week, if you drink plenty of water. I'm not to well-versed in hair testing, though. Either way, there's plenty of reliable products on the market. Ask your local head shop guy or health food manager, as both of them have probably used the products successfully in the past.

 

The dreaded spinal terror that people associate with hallucinogenics is a little overrated. If you're using quality substances with few impurities, you'll be in good shape. If you're buying a really cheap roll of X from some guy who found it in an ashtray..you might not be. Either way, doing just a little will NOT erode your brain stem as some have suggested.

 

Psychedelic mushrooms are pretty tame, though. Be sure you eat them, too, and don't try cooking with them, as heat destroys most of the active chemicals.

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Just general material. Jokes, pick-up lines, the usual. Stuff you would consider your own if you used it.

Don't sweat it. Yes, it's irritating when people co-opt your wittiness, but, unless they're using it in a situation where you yourself needed to advance--like they just picked up the girl you were interested in using your line--it's nothing to worry about.

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One more question: how the fuck did they end Happy Days? I mean they did everything they could during the series run. How the fuck did they end Happy Days?

Well, according to this website, Joanie and Chachi got married. And Fonzie adopted a little albino boy, or something like that.

 

I was five when that show went off the air. I didn't know it lasted that long into the 80s.

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Inca, if I can call you that, when do you believe the WWE will die out?

Inc is better than Inca, and, if you refer to the first page of this thread, I stopped watching/caring about wrestling some time ago.

 

Now, I will say that when I did keep up on these matters, people had been predicting death for the company for quite some time, yet here it is. And still producing shitty progamming, apparently, which you people--and by "you people," I mean the "smart" fans--are still eating it up. As long as you guys are out there, Vince and Co. will keep wheezing along.

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Aren't you that Kinetic fella? 

 

And if so aren't you supposed to be in the Air Force or some shit?

 

How's your Grandma and Grandpa that you were living with down there?

 

And don't you think that your Metal Ed gimmick is better than this Incandenza one Kinetic?

How does it feel to be envious of our popularity?

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