Storm Comments.

[Guest Suicide King]

A very good show overall. Sadly my focus must instead be on the double no-show. I am deciding what to about it now.

[Crowe 0]

I'll dick Annie as a punishment.

 

[Guest Suicide King]

Alright. The tournament will proceed as if Annie and Xcalibur didn't exist, which is to say that the loser's bracket three way that would have included that winner, Silent, and Judge will now be a regular singles match.

 

As for Annie and Xcalibur, they are temporarily suspended while I figure out what to do with them. No schedule them on the next show Edwin.

[Guest Suicide King]

Oh, and Edwin? You forgot to post the winner of Show/Craven. Please do when you wake up.

[Crowe 0]

These drunken booker types... I just don't know.

[Guest Suicide King]

You kidding? I haven't stopped drinking since Wednesday.

[HVilleThugg 0]

Crowe...I just noticed your signature...that's a very interesting claim you make there. I don't recall you being as dominant a champ as say...

 

 

 

 

ME! If memory serves me correctly, I only lost 3 times, you lost four...and I hold the record that you were so determined to break! So, I think based on that logic alone, you should remove that statement from your sig, and add it to mine!

 

Da "bitch trying to steal my hard earned Best in JL title" H

 

[Crowe 0]

 

I sucessfully defended the belt five (six, if you count Atlas) times in a fifty-two day period. There's a reason that "Arguably" was thrown onto the start of that sentence. And besides, I am so much prettier than you, so I claim the greatest ever title, ok?

 

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Quiz's match is the greatest thing ever.

[Astro101 0]

Well, I guess I'm gonna take that turn in a few sentences instead of no showing thing seriously. I guess I deserve whatever's coming. Sorry.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

ME! If memory serves me correctly, I only lost 3 times, you lost four...and I hold the record that you were so determined to break! So, I think based on that logic alone, you should remove that statement from your sig, and add it to mine!

I only lost once legit...Boo-yay and all that jazz.

[Guest Fire and Knives]

See, the trick to no-showing and not getting anally reamed by a pineapple later on is to make sure that your opponent is showing, and have a good reason for no-showing yourself.

 

Just trying to give out pointers for the less experienced, that's all.

 

K.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Show fixified. For whatever reason I got a goofy copy of Craven's match last night, and it's all repaired now. The full-length matches that are there--most notably Sacred's, Craven's, and Danny's--are all pretty solid and worth your read. So please do, and brace for the next round of the tourney, as well as some tasty non-tourney matches.

[Above Average 0]

After reading the show I was pleasantly surprised with how everything went, minus a few no-shows. The running theme of this show was pulled off well. Once again I pretty much knew what was going down, so I can't really comment, besides saying that it was the correct choice. King and Thugg on equal terms would not work if this storyline is leading to Mark vs King, which it is. I mean, look at where the next show is being held. Danny wrote one hell of a match and after reading Ejiro's it was probably a very very tough call, but Danny's just told a better story in the end, IMO. Same with Craven, who not surprisingly advances. The man has stepped it up people. And Apostle gains another win. This type of thing has never happened for a JLer, so no-show or not, he's in a position a lot of people would like to be in.

 

I really wish I could have written my match with more description but I got rushed and had to go get drunk. It accomplished what needed to get done, I guess. We'll see.

 

I'd also like to point out that the next show should be and is STACKED, with building to Mark/King and other feuds starting to develop. Get on the ball people. Lets start seeing some build to the PPV people. If we want to attempt and top G3, we need at least a few big money feud, with backstory and buildup. I want to see PromoWars version 2, in this piece.

 

By the way, It's somebody esles turn to do in-depth comments, because I'm feeling mighty lazy today... maybe tomorrow.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

Thoughts on Apostle's match that are probably a good read for anybody. Pretty general notes that I think you can improve on. You wrote a pretty good match, but probably benefitted very much from the fact that Kibs no-showed.

 

First off, the intense crowd hatred for Apostle is a bit weird, but whatever. I’ll buy it. I don’t like the no-selling at all. Kibs hits a ton of kicks, a big lariat, and a nasty powerbomb, and Apostle is up and annihilating him outside the ring seconds after. With the “HE KICKED OUT! HOW DID HE DO THAT?!” you’re attributing a lot of gravity and emphasis to that move. I’m expecting something big and then I think oh, wait, no, the commentators are just spazzes. Same deal with the Rough Redemption later. You throw in these big bombs with very little build, and then just breeze past them. If you’re throwing the big moves in there, it’s not going to work unless you put some major sell on them. Example: Kibs hits the Rough Redemption, Apostle barely kicks out and bails out of the ring to recover. Or he bats off Kibs a bit, shoves him away crudely and tries to get himself a breather in the corner. Instead he’s bouncing off the ropes and flip-flopping around moments later and I’m wondering why you didn’t just go straight to the backdrop driver. There’s very little difference in this match between someone hitting a backbreaker, a momentum-shifting powerbomb, or a late-in-the-game finisher. They just read as large moves which, while very well-executed and adeptly described in and of themselves, just don’t work as a chain of events or a cohesive piece.

 

I liked the back work in the beginning—very nice transition from the surfboard to the chinlock with the knee to the back—but you let it disappear in the middle and resurrect it for a quick tap at the end. Not done badly, but not done tremendously well either. At first it felt like Apostle was trying to slow Kibs down, then speed him up, then just get these depths of strength from nowhere and keep fighting. The match reads very fast, with little stopping for explanation, expansion, or development beyond wham, wham, wham, wham. It’s an exciting read, but doesn’t really hold up on review. I would have appreciated a more detailed explanation of Apostle’s sudden change in styles throughout the match. I know one of your big things is that Apostle can wrestle any style, but I wanted to see a more active engagement of his abilities than the mish-mash of moves, maneuvers, and approaches he took here. You could also benefit from some more commentator insight than “OH MY GOD HE KICKED OUT” over and over again. Save the capital letters and calling on deities for the really big falls—maybe the Rough Redemption and the Backdrop Driver, and maybe you’re better off playing the other stuff as build. You can do the “constant near-falls throughout the match thing,” but as I said before, you’ve got to give them some weight. Otherwise they’re not even near-falls. I admire your reversal of the Demonstar, as it was simple and desperate. Considering that Apostle gives up 40 pounds and a lot of mass to Kibs, I was surprised that he turned him over into the cloverleaf so quickly, particularly after it had been all Kibs in that last series—you catch him by surprise, which I like, but for some reason something feels off. Read it again and see what I mean—it’s “OH SHIT APOSTLE’S DEAD,” followed by “OH SHIT APOSTLE’S DEAD,” followed by “APOSTLE’S GOT HIM TRAPPED!” It’s actually still a very good finish, but I think you could make this sort of thing great with more consideration to the conditions of both men at this state. Maybe play with the formula a bit—let Kibs break out of the hold, have Apostle hit one more desperation move to stun him, and then re-apply it for a more logical conclusion.

 

All in all: very strong writing and description, marred by inconsistent match flow and occasionally inexplicable choices of moves and their consequences.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

Just reading that over i can see exactly what you are talking about...

 

I need to work on my pre-match writing a bit more and understand what I am getting myself into before just trying to let it flow out...

 

Thanks alot, man...

[HVilleThugg 0]

Ok...

 

Listen Charlie "the grappler show big titty fat bastard" Matthews...you will speak when spoken too bitch! Don't make me have to come over there and stick my big black foot up your ass. Little bitch.

 

And to Crowe...yeah...whatever bitch. Everyone knows the angry black man is a sexy bitch...more accurately, the sexiest bitch in this fed. That, combined with my superior talent, intellect, and my huge black cock, makes me better than you on every level. Just ask your girlfriend...she'll tell you. See how happy she looks in that picture on his dresser...yeah.

 

See, the reason that I was a better JL champion than you was that I dominated...totally dominated. No one was on my level...even the WFers knew about me. In fact, Chris Wilsoni came to the JL and got me up on a month when there was to be no bump...he knew my skills. The only losses I had came in like my third match and was against a main eventer, against SoS when I only wrote like 1000 words cause of time, and then a draw with SoS due to some CC fuckupery where they couldn't pick a winner of the match (which is dumb cause mine was better) so they just called it a draw and stripped me of my title. I owned the JL! You owned dick!

 

Ahhhhh...self-praise is so life affirming. I feel like a million bucks. Who knew that sounding like little orphan Oliver, begging to be noticed, could make you feel better than everyone...oh wait...that's because I am.

 

Anyway...back to the point...

 

Me = Greatest Of All Time

You = Bed Wetter

 

Matthews = Cronic Mastrubater

 

Da "I'll fight ya for it" H

 

PS - This is not a joke...I'm serious...FLAME WAR!!!! MUWHAHAHAHA!

 

 

[Guest Suicide King]

Thugg = my bitch.

 

[Crowe 0]

Ok...

 

Listen Charlie "the grappler show big titty fat bastard" Matthews...you will speak when spoken too bitch!  Don't make me have to come over there and stick my big black foot up your ass.  Little bitch.

 

And to Crowe...yeah...whatever bitch. Everyone knows the angry black man is a sexy bitch...more accurately, the sexiest bitch in this fed.  That, combined with my superior talent, intellect, and my huge black cock, makes me better than you on every level.  Just ask your girlfriend...she'll tell you.  See how happy she looks in that picture on his dresser...yeah.

 

See, the reason that I was a better JL champion than you was that I dominated...totally dominated.  No one was on my level...even the WFers knew about me.  In fact, Chris Wilsoni came to the JL and got me up on a month when there was to be no bump...he knew my skills.  The only losses I had came in like my third match  and was against a main eventer, against SoS when I only wrote like 1000 words cause of time, and then a draw with SoS due to some CC fuckupery where they couldn't pick a winner of the match (which is dumb cause mine was better) so they just called it a draw and stripped me of my title.  I owned the JL!  You owned dick!

 

Ahhhhh...self-praise is so life affirming.  I feel like a million bucks.  Who knew that sounding like little orphan Oliver, begging to be noticed, could make you feel better than everyone...oh wait...that's because I am.

 

Anyway...back to the point...

 

Me = Greatest Of All Time

You = Bed Wetter

 

Matthews = Cronic Mastrubater

 

Da "I'll fight ya for it" H

 

PS - This is not a joke...I'm serious...FLAME WAR!!!!  MUWHAHAHAHA!

 

 

Ooooh, the angry black man trying to claim the title of sexiest bitch over the "oh so hot" Antichrist Superstar, Crow!? Not fucking likely. Superior talent, intellect... and huge black cock!? You're better than me? Haha, sounds like an old-timer unsuccessfully trying to regain some of his former presence within the fed. And I would have you know, that I do not have a girlfriend at present, but if I did mang, I know she'd be satisfied with my action, baby, exppeerrriiieennnnncceeee~! Owww!

 

You a better champion cause you totally dominated? Mate, Atlas dominated more than you, Grappler dominated more than you~! The only losses I had against me were against Janus, Dace, Atlas and Va'aiga. Now that's some excellent competition, and let's not forget the numerous defenses of my title against Va'aiga, who is arguably better than all the opponents you had. No one except for he was on my level. And in my JL stay, I defeated a former SWF World CHAMPEEN in Muzz... TWICE, and let's also not forget beating Sean Atlas, a ringer recently revealed for the world title!

 

I would never say I owned the JL, but whee, I did well in it. The future of my SWF career is on the up, with time restrictions and the like to soon be out of the way, and baby, I'm gonna make it my business to better anything j00000 ever did in this fed!!

 

And Matthews is a Chronic Masturbator, get it right, yo.

 

PS - I find this very amusing.

Edited August 31, 2003 by Crowe

[janusd 0]

[Hank Kingsley 0]

...

 

(Y)

[Justice 0]

All I have to say is that I'm sorry but I've become the cable repair man whenever I come home. I spent 3 fucking hours tracing lines behind my parents entertainment center before rushing out to my bro's football game and still not making it on time to see his show. At any rate, I'm sorry Edwin and I'm supremely sorry for CIA. Being that I don't have anything to fix at school, I'll definitely be doing something nice for Kibs.

[AnnieEclectic 0]

Hmm, temporary suspension. Well, can't argue really.

 

Comp went down night of the card, I'd normally bitch and moan about fate fucking me over, but really this was my fault. I had my fans secured by trash bag twist ties, which gave way sending the fan airborne and causing still unknown damage. Replaced video card and hard drive later, and I'm semi-back.

 

Sorry for the fuck-up Judge, I know you wanted to see me in there for your finish. I'm more than a little pissed that I dropped the ball on a -second- chance to force myself upon the main event.

 

-Annie

[muzz 0]

If anyone has the time, I'd like a few little, teeny weeny comments on my match...

[Guest Goodear]

Hey Muzzums,

 

Here are some comments for your match...

 

Basically its a sound psychological match up where you take Viktor's knee and make him miserable with it in order to counteract his strength advantage and to get the submission at the end. You did a good job of getting this over while still allowing Vik to get in his offense and while still lending some doubt to if we will be able to or not.

 

The negatives of the match are two fold...

 

Firstly, the transitions are a little week as it sometimes seems like Viktor just catches Sacred and puts him across his back in position for the torture rack. The problem is that its nearly impossible to do that so you needed to add some details that explained how Vik got him in that position. Also you had a spot where you chop blocked Viktor but he was the first one up and made the cover which is okay I guess... but its not something I really go for.

 

The other issue is that you seem unwilling to commit to being a heel despite evidentally having an in with The Suicide King. Quite frankly, you should have dialled down the C. Comet love for Blackwell while establishing the change in attitude by raking the eyes and some such.

 

Anyway, thats what I am thinking.

[Secret Agent 0]

Well, since I seem to be waiting for some people to finally reply to my PM's for Storyline stuff, I have nothing else to do at the moment.

 

First, I will say this, Sacred. I have read your match, and I'll comment, but I am no where near your abilities so I some what feel like a student trying to critque a teacher. If that makes any sense.

 

The match it self flowed pretty good. I was able to read the entire thing from beginning to end without having to fast forward through any boring spots, so that's good. However, you should be dead after this match, and Victor Tarakanov should really appreaciate how much you put him over.

 

Viktor catches Blackwell's leg in his vice like grip! Thinking quickly, Blackwell uses Viktor's firm hold to spring himself up, hitting the Russian with an Enziguri kick to the face!

 

I really liked how lethal this sounded. But, you really didn't do anything with it. I would think you could have gotten at least a two count, because a Enziguri to the face isn't something I would expect to see someone charging right back from. The follow up is nice though as Vic seems too out of it, leaving himself pretty open for the leg sweep that follows next along with a dropkick to his ass. But, all that for barely a one count? I realize your trying to get Vic's vitality over but that seems a little much.

 

The rest of the match looks like Victor pounding the daylights out of Sacred with a few spots where Blackwell tries a few comebacks/reversals. The spot where Vic powerbombs Sacred into the turnbuckles is simply Brutal, along with the tremendous punches that happen afterwards. The only problem I think with that is Sacred's kickout seem's like it's not too surprising. Comet's "I didn’t doubt him for a second, and this match still continues!” furtherd that a bit more for me. If Sacred's his former friend I would imagine Comet going all J.R. like - losing his mind that Sacred got back up after the beating he just took.

 

The ending with the Deprogramer seemed a bit akward if you ask me. Vic's legs simply gave out after standing there for a few seconds while holding Blackwell on his shoulders. A simple act of Sacred hooking his legs around Vic's neck and leaning back into a Rana would seem more believable to me. Afterall, if Vic could feel his legs "about" to give out why not just fall forward, and slam Sacred back first into the mat?

 

Anyway, Vic finally submits after fighting for a moment which is a good finish to it I think, but the way you got there seemed weird. All in all a good match, and I could probably do no better. I hope I didn't sound too negative, because I really did enjoy the match. Good luck with the rest of the tournament, Sacred!

 

Ejiro, damn you for posting while I was typing all of this.

[Guest Goodear]

Thats okay Johnny, its not like we touched on the same stuff.

[Coffin Surfer 0]

Not to be picky, but you can't hit someone in the face with Enzuigiri, since Enzuigiri by definition is a jumping Roundhouse Kick to the back of the head. I believe the phrase your looking for is a Gamengiri.

[Guest Suicide King]

Ah c'mon Danny. Why would we American wrestling fans start using the right move names now?

[muzz 0]

Thanks for the comments, agree with all of 'em. It was a rushed match, which isn't a good idea for a contest focusing purely on psych and such.

 

I used Comet has a supporter of mine for the first few weeks to get used to writing a character, so whenever I was confused as to what to right for him, I'd go back to that, then have Bobby get annoyed etc etc.

 

Thanks again.