Downhome 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 (edited) Fuck it. I said in the RAW thread just now that this wasn't worth my time, but I'm actually feeling like complaining for once. Sure I bitch about things every now and then like putting the non-wrestlers over the workers, but whatever. Tonights RAW made me want to REALLY rant, so, here goes. Consider this the "Downhome RAW Review". Or dont, whatever... ...first off, ugh, just ugh. It takes a lot for me to out right dislike a wrestling show. It takes even more to make me want to just complain. It takes even more than THAT to make me want to hurt people while watching a show and afterwords. Both durring and now after RAW, yes, I want to hurt people. Kane vs Rob Van Dam (Cage Match) --- Ok, so Kane is a monster, I believe we all understand that by now. And by "by now", I mean that we understood that BEFORE tonights RAW. I can't think of, nor give, a single excuse for what happened to RVD tonight. What we witnessed was the burrial of a Pro. Wrestler unlike ever before. Silly me, after last week's RAW I had a tiny bit of faith that RVD just MIGHT take Shane's place in the feud. Ok, not so much as stupid by my part as it was fucking retarded. Once again, we have a WRESTLER "Playing the Pawn" as I like to call it, in a feud which is truly about a non-worker. Not just any non-worker, but yes, a McMahon. To all of you Shane marks, get a clue. Contrary to what many believe, there is NO such thing as a "good McMahon". He's not a wrestler, and he does NOT deserve to go over actual talent. From where I sit, having RVD" Play the Pawn", is just another way of Shane going over yet another worker. Shane is taking up the spot that RVD should be in. Ok, so the show starts off with basicly a 100% SQUASH of RVD. Already, I was feeling something truly "special" would be taking place tonight. By "special", I mean fucking shitty. On a side note, did everyone notice the "worlds most obvious blade job" by RVD? I mean, you would THINK that the camera man would, you know, cut away from something like that. The second quarter hour --- What in the hell do you want me to say? We didn't have a single match take place, and the rest was pointless. Lawler/Snow is added to a match on a PPV which doesn't belong on a RAW, much less taking up time on a PPV, and Bishoff announces that we'll get a "suprise" for the main event on RAW. Please, who DIDN'T see that one coming? Lance Storm vs. Rico --- I liked it better when Lance Storm just wrestled, but hey, that's just me. This match meant next to nothing, and was there only for Storm to act like a moron. Please Lance, kick Goldust's ass pretty soon and turn into a vicious heel. Don't forget to wrestle though. Molly Holly & Gail Kim vs. Trish Stratus & Jacqueline --- If you care about this storyline, raise your hand. We all know it's leading to Lita coming in to make the save for Trish pretty soon, so I already couldn't care less about this feud. Austin's State of RAW Address --- Take Austin off of TV, and do it now. This deal went on ten minutes too long, and I couldn't be more pissed over it. Sure, having Christian coming out and acting all heelish is a good thing. Having Jericho come out and kick his ass is good thing Pt. II. Having the crowd start to chant "Y2J" over and over is, yes, good thing Pt. III. Having Jericho instantly turn heel again, if you want to call it that, is bad thing Pt. I. Having Austin kick Jericho's ass, for no reason is, BAD THING PT. II. What in the heel is the reasoning behind this? We have Jericho look strong, taking up for himself, and looking to be the centerpiece in the ring. Then, just for the cheap pop, Austin stuns him and totally discredits everything Jericho was up to, once again. If Austin can't TAKE an ass kicking, he shouldn't be dishing them out. It makes everyone look like shit, and it does nothing for everyone. It's 100% official now, and it has been for a while... ...I hate Steve Austin. La Resistance & Rob Conway, Mark Henry & Rodney Mack vs. Hurricane & Rosey, Bubba & D-Von & Spike Dudley. --- I really don't know what to say about this one. At the very beginning, I didn't have a clue what was going on. It was good enough, a few cool spots, but overall it just didn't do anything for me. Not to mention that it looked like Mark Henry almost killed himself by flying outside of the ring (did you see the man's sweat fly off of him as he hit the ropes!?) and we just about witnessed the killing of Spike Dudley. That had to be one of the most ugly bumps I've ever witnessed. In case you were saved from tonights RAW, here is the bump in all of it's painfull glory. Spike fall down go BOOM~! I found it funny that right after that they promoted the match for the PPV, with Spike taking part. I couldn't help but to even wonder if that could happen now. Triple H: Pimp in action --- As he held that drink, I was thinking "this is pretty obvious promotion, but nowhere near as bad as the X-Pac deal with his drink". Right after that, HHH strikes a pose with the drink, and pimps it out of the ass unlike I've ever done before. I, I really don't know what to say. Scott Steiner vs. Stevie Richards --- This match was also pointless. The only thing it did was set up the possible situation of Steiner becoming Test's personal man-whore bitch... ...and really, do we even need to picture that, much less have it happen? Someone kill this feud now, please, I'm begging you. Triple H & Ric Flair vs. Goldberg & Randy Orton --- I understand the thining that goes into booking this. They want us all to see Evolution as these evil bastards who just destroy Goldberg, making it look like Goldberg will never defeat HHH. Still, this isn't what they need to give me as a "main event". It angered me, and as I said before, made me want to hurt people. If you didn't see the "suprise", please do us all a favor and break your own limbs, please. I really don't know what to say, other than this RAW was the absolute shit. No, not in the good way. I mean that in the way of I just took a shit, and somebody NEEDS to flush it down the toilet of WrestleCrap at it's finest. I will leave you with an image which says all that needs to be said about this RAW. Enjoy, and untill next time... ...just, I dunno, pray that next week will be better...seriously, do that, please. This AVI, sums up RAW perfectly. Thanks HHH and Goldberg~! Sincerely, ...Downhome... Edited September 9, 2003 by Downhome Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Coffey Report post Posted September 9, 2003 It was worse two weeks ago... I can paste my raw review here if you're interested... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NoCalMike 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Nice post DOWNHOME, I pretty much agree. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ted the Poster 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Yeah, it's really sad when your most entertaining moment of the show is Spike's Dudley Death Bump. Jesus, he could've seriously injured his head. I never thought a team that green could botch a spot that simple. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 It's not really a "simple" spot as there is a high degree of risk associated with it. Not that I am defending La Rez - they suck and Bradshaw should move back to Raw to learn them up good. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JMA Report post Posted September 9, 2003 It's not really a "simple" spot as there is a high degree of risk associated with it. Not that I am defending La Rez - they suck and Bradshaw should move back to Raw to learn them up good. Yeah, but Bradshaw is a lot worse than La Res. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Downhome 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 It's not really a "simple" spot as there is a high degree of risk associated with it. Not that I am defending La Rez - they suck and Bradshaw should move back to Raw to learn them up good. Yeah, but Bradshaw is a lot worse than La Res. Bradshaw 4 World Champ in '04~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Downhome 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 It's not really a "simple" spot as there is a high degree of risk associated with it. Not that I am defending La Rez - they suck and Bradshaw should move back to Raw to learn them up good. Yeah, but Bradshaw is a lot worse than La Res. Bradshaw 4 World Champ in '04~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Bradshaw at least has the Lariat and is a pretty entertaining guy when not doing his schtick. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Coffey Report post Posted September 9, 2003 I marked for Bradshaw when he came out on Sunday Night Heat and put on the life water jacket. His powerbomb is decent too. Remember when he did it off the top of the steps? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Bradshaw has a very nice benoit-ish powerbomb. I was thinking about it after I made the previous post. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JMA Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Bradshaw at least has the Lariat and is a pretty entertaining guy when not doing his schtick. But if he moves to RAW we'll have to listen to his political rants. And I, for one, wouldn't like that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 "I'll fuck you in the asshole you punk ass French white boy. I'll fuck you in the ass you French coward, you French bitch. You fucking French faggot! You're just scared like a little white French pussy. I'll fuck you till you love me, you French faggot!" - "Iron" John Bradshaw. (Taken from Mike Tyson, so no hate crimes by me) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest JMA Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Off-topic: I never really liked the name "Bradshaw" (even when he was Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw). John Layfield sounds much better. Ditto with Faarooq. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iggymcfly 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Well, I only saw the last hour or so. I came in during the 8-man tag match, but from what I saw, Raw was pretty boring. Just because HHH and Goldberg are in the ring together doesn't necessarily mean it's gonna be an interesting segment. I thought that main event was pretty weak. They need to do something creative with this HHH/Goldberg feud before people get bored with it. This whole boring booking-by-the-numbers thing doesn't do much for me. I will say that the highlight of (the hour I saw of) the show was Test making a stipulation that he's gonna make Steiner his bitch. That was just too funny. If they could just keep Kane/Shane believable and HHH/Goldberg interesting, Raw might have something going but I did think this Raw was decidedly weaker than the last two. And from what I've read, I don't think I missed much in the first hour either, outside of maybe the Christian/Jericho/Austin segment. I thought Unforgiven looked like it would be a big hit a couple weeks ago, but they're gonna need to step it up a little bit if they want to get a big buyrate. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lil' Bitch 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 I hope Unforgiven gets a worse buyout rate than Vengeance so McMahon will get it through his fucking head that his product, mainly RAW, needs to shape up BAD! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Goodear Report post Posted September 9, 2003 The only thing I disagree with is the Lance Storm segment (which I enjoyed) and the women's tag which was inoffensive. Everything else is a dead on slam on the problems with RAW. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anakin Flair 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 I missed the first hour, and I kind of enjoyed the rest in a train wreck sort of way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muzz 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Lance Storm made me smile, thus I really liked the segment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Der Kommissar 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Wow. When Downhome thinks a show sucks, you know it's bad. I can't say I would disagree, though I have taken a strange liking to the Gail Kim/Molly tag team. Plus, I liked the whole Coach/Bischoff/Snow segment. Otherwise, I can't think of anything that was even remotely worth my time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Austin3164life 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 I get discouraged just by reading what people have to say about Raw, and having not watched it since April, I have no incentive to watch it at all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
razazteca 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Molly Holly & Gail Kim vs. Trish Stratus & Jacqueline --- If you care about this storyline, raise your hand. We all know it's leading to Lita coming in to make the save for Trish pretty soon, so I already couldn't care less about this feud The women's division only has one angle going, which is of course beat up Trish by jealous bitch. Now this has been done by every new diva that shows up so its not really a surprise. Lita coming back? I could care less about Lita. What I like about this current rehash of the "beat up Trish" angle is the workrate The women's tag team of Molly & Kim is the best tag team on Raw and that says alot. The Dudley's vs La Rez is boring and already played out. The beat up Trish angle is getting better every week as Molly & Kim use double team moves to destroy her. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
humongous2002 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 All i'm saying is this guys, don't buy that ppv.The matches are shitty, RVD might not be on the ppv since he might be "nursing" his burial...ahem, i mean his injuries, HHH is still injured so he won't be able to have his ** match with Shitberg, Orton is still being pushed down our throats and Shane v. Kane will suck worst than Shane v. Bitchoff. If you want to watch a good ppv just order the NWA/TNA 1 cent ppv, is more than worth it, you'll be happy after watching this ppv on Wed,sept,10th 2003 @ 8:00pm. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Polish_Rifle Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Molly Holly & Gail Kim vs. Trish Stratus & Jacqueline --- If you care about this storyline, raise your hand. We all know it's leading to Lita coming in to make the save for Trish pretty soon, so I already couldn't care less about this feud **Raises hand** I care. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 9, 2003 My thoughts: Kane vs. RVD: Went to go get a sandwich after entrances, highlights did not phase me at all. Rico vs. Lancedust: Funny Divas: Didn't we see this match before? Was Trish just replaced my a crash Test Dummy? Clusterfuck: RIP Spike. RIH Mark Henry. HHH: How does Turdberg give you gas? State of Raw: Blah! Coach segment: ::Marked out for JR the Hoss, I mean Hutt:: Main Event: I actually thought Michaels would make the save. Who did not see Orton coming from a mile away? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ted the Poster 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 (edited) I was actually thinking it'd be someone ridiculous, like Minidust. Orton barely crossed my mind, mostly because nothing he has done in the ring has ever impressed me in the least. If they had put Gillberg in instead of Orton, that would have been really funny. Edited September 9, 2003 by Meatwad Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Papacita 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 I didn't hate the show as much as Downhome did (I had company over and was hardly paying attention anyway, so...). Only things that really stood out with me were the Spike bump, RVD's burial (they could've AT LEAST had Shane come down and help him win) and the predictability of the ME. Like Downhome, I called the angle as soon as Bischoff announced it...and my brother, a casual fan, made a good point in asking why the hell does Bischoff even hate Goldberg in the first place??? Did they even try to explain that one? As for the things I like...the divas stuff was ok...though it's getting a little too cartoonish for my tastes with that "Destroy Trish once and for all" shit. I mean God damn, is she a fucking Power Ranger or something??? And I liked Lance's stuff. I don't really like him in a comedy role, but if it gets him over...hey. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 9, 2003 As for the things I like...the divas stuff was ok...though it's getting a little too cartoonish for my tastes with that "Destroy Trish once and for all" shit. I mean God damn, is she a fucking Power Ranger or something??? Add sparks coming from her chest, and yes. Spoiler (Highlight to Read): Gail Kim and Molly's ass (WWE logic at work here) grow into some sort of super hosses, and Trish needs the Megazord to bring them down. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RavishingRickRudo 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 I marked out for the "StormTroopers" comment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lil' Bitch 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Shane v. Kane will suck worst than Shane v. Bitchoff. But, but, Bischoff was a non-wrestler too... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
