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What was your past life?

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Past Life Name: Susan Ondaraget

Past Life City: Yakima, WA

Past Life Job: Teamster

How You died: A group of monkeys attacked you and clubbed you to death.

 

My past life death owns my current impending death.

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Past Life Name: Walter Sneezecake

Past Life City: London

Past Life Job: Mailman

How You died: Hit in the head with a frying pan by your spouce.

 

What a life I had, eh.

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Past Life Name: Clara Sue McGillycudy (WTF)

Past Life City: Ann Arbor, Michigan

Past Life Job: Coal Miner

How You died: Abducted by Aliens, probed anally, and left for dead in garbage dumpster (yeah~!)

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Guest Askewniverse

Past Life Name: John Sackeyhackey

Past Life City: San Antonio

Past Life Job: Mason

How You Died: Murdered by your lover

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Name: Stanley Pritchett

City: Philadelphia

Job: Soldier mechanic who did repairs

Death: Outhouse floor gave way and drowned in own shit.

 

 

I think this is pretty damn appropriate given Smackdown this week...

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Guest Fook

Name: Josephine Rater

City: Butte, Montana

Job: Mayor

Death: In a wheelchair, pushed down Yankee Stadium steps with body flipping up and landing on third base.

 

 

Wow, I pulled a Nordberg.

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Past Life Name: Arthur Packman (me and Jen were the same person?!)

Past Life City: Orlando

Past Life Job: Soldier Mechanic Who Did Repairs

Past Life Death: Bitten to death by fire ants

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Past Life Name: Ellen Surger

Your Past Life City: Manhattan

Your Past Life Job: Secretary

How You Died: Gagged on lover's private part during oral sex

 

Yay, and stuff.

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Guest ToddRoyal

Name: Roy Calhoun

City: Toronto

Job: Seller of Fish

Death: Shot to death while trying to rob a mafia poker game

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Guest Danny Dubya v 2.0

Past Life Name : Ruby Tuemon

My Past Life City : Oklahoma City

My Past Life Job : Inventor

How I died : After a 62-year coma, died of an ingrown hair infection

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Guest Flyboy

Past Life Name: Leroy Gaynow

Past Life City: Memphis

Past Life Job: Beer Manufacturer

How I Died: Fell into an open grave and at that moment they began to backfill the grave and you were buried alive

 

 

... Oookay, then.

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Name: Marion Cracksmoker

City: Tijuana, Mexico

Job: Secretary

How you died: Choked on your own vomit.

 

I call shenanigans on this site. No one could have a last name of Cracksmoker.

Really? I thought it was supposed to be serious..........

 

;)

 

My past name: Liz Drucker

My past city: Vienna, Austria

My past job: Writer

How I died: Shot to death by spouse for snoring too loud.

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Guest TheGame2705
I was Sara something-or-other, but I died of a Coke overdose.

 

Maybe we were sniffing the same line TSA...

This has to be the best one.

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Real Name: Ernest Tubby

Past City Life: Stockholm, Sweden

Past Job Life: Whore

How You Died: Died While Choking Yourself During Masturbation

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Guest KJ Brackish

I was some bastard that died from trying to rob a poker game in none other than......

 

PROVO, Utah! Can you believe the idiocy and irony in all of that?!?

 

I live here in Salt Lake City......am I doomed to live all of my lives in UTAH?!?

 

BAH!

 

EvoNex

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